The Aviators

“You didn’t seriously fucking just announce to the whole of the US that you love Valary?”

I don’t know what’s going on right now, but JD is standing in the middle of our living room, practically yelling at Matt. We’ve been back five minutes and he was waiting outside with a face as dark and threatening as storm clouds. I’m kind of hoping Matt will tell him to leave, or kick him out, but that doesn’t happen. Which confuses me, no end. Instead he lets him in and then he proceeds to start berating Matt, his voice getting louder with every passing moment. And with me just getting more and more confused.

Matt doesn’t seem to be having the same problem as me, though. He’s just taking it, head down, fingers dragging over his short hair. Probably struggling internally over whether it was the wisest thing he’s done, or the stupidest.

I sit, staring at the bigger man who is pacing tight figures of eights around us, speaking in a low, angry tone.

“What the hell were you thinking? Do you realise what could happen? Fuck! If they find out, you know what will happen. Do you want that to happen?” This last JD says as he comes directly to a stop in front of Matt. He glares at the top of his head.

It takes me all of a second to realise what he’s talking about, but at the same time I don’t want to believe it. And, at any rate, why would he even be talking about it, unless I was right in my suspicions all along?

Matt slowly lifts his gaze to the other man, a deep furrow in his brow, his eyes darker than I’ve ever seen them. I swallow hard, wondering how he’ll react. He works his jaw for a long minute just glowering darkly at JD.

Then he grits out, “There is no way I am going to let anything happen to Val. I’ll fucking kill anyone who touches her.”

I blink at that. Even JD looks taken aback by Matt’s declaration.

“Murder’s illegal, Matthew.”

Matt clenches a fist then jabs a finger in the air in JD’s direction. “No one is doing anything to Val. The Guild can bite my ass.” That famous temper of his is simmering beneath the surface; obviously he’s confident in his ability to keep me safe, and doesn’t like that JD is insinuating otherwise.

JD sighs shaking his head and finally sinks down on the sofa opposite us. “They might just do that...”

I shiver knowing that he’s absolutely right about that. The Guild is powerful, and they can do anything to the slaves that come out of the system. And if there is any chance at all that they heard what was broadcast earlier today...then the proverbial shit will most definitely hit the proverbial fan.

Matt rolls his eyes, scoffing, “They can try.”

“This is serious, Matt.” JD’s voice is hard. “You don’t want to take this lightly.”

“No shit,” Matt says, quietly. I sense he knows how serious a situation we’re facing. He’s just annoyed that JD’s the one telling him all this. And I can’t blame him. I still don’t get what’s going on with the supposed guitar tech.

“Matt-”

“I get it, alright?” Matt growls at him.

JD holds his hands up in defence. But, he’s succeeded in pissing him off.

Matt works his jaw, before saying in a dangerous tone, “I’m not stupid, Denmore. Give me a little credit here.”

The other man nods, evidently deciding he’s said enough. “Right.”

“Is that all you wanted?” Matt slides an arm around me, nudging me to lean against him. I snuggle down next to him, tucking my head against his shoulder.

JD observes us for a moment, before standing again, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, I’m off to see Brian, now.”

Matt looks pointedly at him, while absently rubbing small circles on my shoulder. “You know where the door is, then.”

JD sighs and walks out. I watch him go then peek up into Matt’s face. His brow is tight, his jaw tense. I reach up and run a finger along the hard line. He tilts his head down, his eyes finding mine. The expression in his eyes is difficult to decipher. They’re murky, filled with myriad emotions.

He exhales roughly. “Val...” He pauses, taking hold of my hand. Then he removes it from his face, placing it gently in my lap. I blink at him in confusion. He shakes his head at me. Then gets up and just walks out of the room.

I sit there, unsure of what to do now. Should I follow him, or leave him alone? I need to figure out the best course of action. One, because I’m supposed to know whether Matt needs something or not, and two because I don’t want to make him mad.

Taking a moment to think, I cast my gaze around the living room; something catches my eye as I do. It’s my journal. On the coffee table. Wonder what it’s doing there. I reach over to grab it, flipping through the pages, skimming the entries. I don’t know why, but it feels like forever since I’ve written in this. My pencil happens to be stuck in the ring-binding, though so I take it out, and sit back, opening to a clean page.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I can’t remember ever being so conflicted. Maybe the last time was when I realised my parents were never coming back for me. I knew I bore no grudge, or ill-will toward them, but I was lonely and confused. I was in an unknown situation, the youngest of many other children who were all a little more knowledgeable of where they were and what was going on.

Huntington Beach orphanage was alright. I had no gripes with the place. They treated me okay, fed me, clothed me. It was just the one person in the institution that I did not trust. And it was that one person who made my life what it became today. I can’t to this day remember who that person was. It was a man, I know that much. And I always had a feeling that he probably was paid by the Guild. But, he never stayed on my radar long enough for me to memorise his name or his face.

I guess it never really mattered. Even though he forced me into the slave industry, he never played a major role in my life. Unlike some of my former masters. And never more so than Giovanni. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have ended up with Matt. And I would never have been reunited with my sister. I guess in some weird, twisted way I was grateful to him. If one could ever be grateful to someone who owned them. Then again, I’m extremely grateful to Matt as well, so that’s not too hard to imagine.

Perhaps, in the long run all this would mean being reunited with the rest of my family. I have no idea if they’re even still in Huntington, or whether they would want anything to do with me. I always thought when I was younger, for better or for worse it would be best if I just forgot about them.

Having Michelle back in my life is like a gift. A gift that I never want to take for granted. And, I know that I won’t. But, meeting my family again, seeing the rest of them? I’m not sure how I would feel about it. I guess time will tell whether that will happen or not. Maybe I should talk to Michelle about that.

I think having Matt as my master was a gift too. Someone up above must have been watching out for me. Or at least had a little bit of a soft spot for me. Part of me wonders what would have happened if Giovanni had never taken me to that gig. Where would I be now? Maybe back at the Guild, waiting to be bought by someone else. Because as it stood, he wanted rid of me, either way.

None of this is even making any sense, is it? It seems like I’m just pulling all this out of nowhere. I should be writing about what happened today, right? About what just happened...between him and JD, and earlier at the station... But, maybe that’s too close to my mind. And, maybe I’m just bored. And worried. And just rambling.

It’s good to write though, considering I feel like I haven’t done it in awhile.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hey?”

I look up from my journal, kicking my feet against the edge of the sofa. Matt is standing in the doorway, hands digging into the pockets of his jeans. I’m not sure how long he’s been standing there, or for that matter how long he’s been gone from the room. He seems tense as he was after JD left, but is hiding it better. Or maybe I’ve lost my touch, and am not reading him as well.

“What’s up, sir?” I put my pencil down, stand up and walk over to him. He looks at me a funny expression on his face. I can’t quite explain it. His eyes are dark; his lips are twitching as if he’s trying not to smile. “Master?”

He exhales sharply. “Stop, Val.”

I blink, a little confused. “Stop what?”

“Calling me that. Just...fuck.” He shakes his head. “Call me ‘Matt’.”

I purse my lips; that’s come out of left field. “But, I’m not supposed to...”

Matt sighs, glowering at me. “It’s not a request Val.”

Well, that’s a twist isn’t it? I guess the Guild can’t come down on him for that, if he makes it a direct order.

Lowering my eyes, I murmur, “If that’s what you want, Matt.”

Matt tilts his head at me then next I know he’s slid his arms around my waist, pulling me in close to his body. I shiver, before wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning into him. I must admit, it feels so good to be held by him.

He whispers into my hair, “It’s not just what I want.”

Funny, he’s right about that. I don’t like being a slave. I’m not sure if that’s ever been evident, but I really resent it. Guess I’m just good at not letting my bitterness show; probably because in the past it wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. I feel though, it’s a lot different with Matt. I almost reckon I could voice my thoughts on my position. Not that I’m that daring.

Matt cups my chin, lifting it up so he can meet my eyes. I stare back at him, not entirely sure what’s happening. The corners of his lips twitch in a soft smile.

“You have a good time?”

For a minute, I have to think about what he means. It feels like forever since we were at the radio station and everything. But it’s only been a few hours. I guess when other things happen to take away the good feelings you have about something it does funny things to your memory.

Gathering my thoughts, I nod slowly. “It was different.”

Matt laughs. “To you maybe. It’s all the same to us. No less enjoyable, but it’s really just what we do. Not as much as some bands, but.”

He rubs a thumb against my cheekbone. I lean into his touch; he smiles more.

“What’d you make of the fans?”

I take a moment to think about his question, before answering. “They were really nice. Pretty dedicated to the band...are they all like that?”

Matt nods a wistful expression appearing in his eyes. “Yeah. Our fans are fucking awesome, I gotta say.”

Smiling, I lean into him more; he tightens his arms around me, rocking me gently. We stay like that for awhile, neither of us speaking, just taking comfort in each other’s presence. It almost feels normal. You know as if we were just like any other couple. Because normal for me, isn’t really normal for everyone else, but I think you know what I’m trying to say.

The phone rings, snapping us out of the quiet spell.

“Crap,” Matt groans, releasing me and stalking over to the phone, which is attached to the wall.

Lifting it off the hook, he answers in a rough tone, “Yeah, what do you want?” After a second, his voice changes, eyebrows lifting in what looks like surprise. “Sorry, you what? That’s great. Yeah, sorry about that...mind’s a million fucking miles away...that’s...yeah, I figured you would. Of course we will.” He pauses then smirks. “I’ll never pass that up. Sure. See ya, Syn.”

I tilt my head as Matt hangs up.

He grins at me. “That was Brian. He says he’s having a party tonight.”

I blink, that’s a surprise, you’d think the guys would just want to relax after a day of interviews and stuff. But, then again come to think of it, they think the best way to wind down is to get drunk and go crazy. Well, at least Jimmy thinks that.

“What for?” I ask, even though part of me thinks there’s probably no real reason.

Matt shrugs in response, but I really want to know, so I just stare at him. He blinks back at me.

“What is it, Val?”

“Why is he having a party?”

The smile fades from his face, his expression darkening. “He proposed to your sister and she said ‘yes’.”

The look in his eyes is disconcerting. Even though I now know a little bit of the history between him and Michelle, it’s still kind of a mystery as to why he still holds the grudge that he does. And, I can’t for the life of me, figure out why it is such a huge issue to him that Brian and Chelle would want to be happy together. Or not. It’s just confusing. I don’t think I even know what I’m meant to think.

I don’t say anything, just nod my head. Matt frowns slightly as he walks back over to me. He pulls me close to him again.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, I really am,” Matt says into my hair after several minutes.

I nod against his chest; he doesn’t have to explain himself to me. Right now, I’m willing to accept anything he says. Must be the submissive in me. That tiny part of me which I know isn’t really who I am... that’s deep, isn’t it?

I peek up at Matt; he catches my eye and smiles softly before pushing me away with a sigh.

“Go get changed.” He rubs his hands over his biceps. “We’ll leave in half an hour.”

I nod, getting up to head to our room. He stops me for a moment though, catching hold of my upper arm. Looking at him, I wonder what he wants. His gaze is serious, yet unreadable.

“Matt?”

His lips twitch and then spread into a soft, dimpled smile. Then he does something that completely scrambles my brain. Sliding his hand to my chin, he tilts my face up and places a soft kiss to my mouth. After which I just blink at him incomprehendingly, jaw going a little slack.

He smiles more, and murmurs, “Love you...”

A flush spreads over my face, and I pull back from him, before hurrying away to our room.

Notes