The Aviators

The girls are so nice. I don’t think I’ve ever met a nicer group of females in my whole life. Then again, I’ve never had the chance to meet anyone, really, so that’s not really all that surprising. But, if I’m going to set any benchmark, they are definitely what I’m basing my criteria on. They don’t know everything about me, only what Michelle has told them, which judging by the things they have asked me, is not a lot.

Right now, I feel like I’m floating away from my body. We’re sitting in a large marble spa, the warm water soothing against our freshly cleansed bodies. I’ve never had a bath where it’s not about cleaning yourself. Usually, a bath to me is where I get the soap and lather myself up to wash away the dirt of my life. But, this is different. It’s relaxing, and the bath salts that the staff here at the spa, soaked in the water are refreshing.

We’ve had about everything imaginable done to us, massage, pedicure, manicure, whatever-cure. Some of the things I have no idea what their names are, but whatever they were it was refreshing and I feel like a totally new woman. I guess that’s kind of a cliché statement, but...whatever.

The girls are chatting to each other, laughter spilling around me. I listen in, smiling at all the right places. After awhile the focus of the conversation drifts toward the guys. I perk up, listening more closely as the girls’ tones change from just mere laughter to a different quality that I just can’t quite grasp. If I was to pin something down, it might possibly be that these women have known their men for so long that for them there are no secrets and they know exactly where they stand.

“Jimmy dotes on you Le,” Lacey was saying.

Leana giggles, shifting her back against the edge of the bath. “He does. And vice versa...seriously, that man is my world. I mean...he’s a crazy shit most of the time, and you girls know that. But, people who don’t know him...they think he’s just plain insane.”

“They don’t have to live with him, though,” Michelle points out.

A ripple of laughter passes through the girls, and I can’t help but join in.

Leana brushes at her eyes then goes on. “When he proposed to me...I gotta tell you, it was odd how un-crazy that was. Which, I guess was madness in itself.”

“What do you mean?” I realise after a moment that I’m the one who asks the question. However, the girls don’t stare at me as if I’ve intruded or anything; Leana and the others just smile at me.

And she answers, just as if I were any of the others. “We went out for dinner and he did the whole getting down on one knee and showing the ring thing. Simple and sweet. And, to be honest, exactly how he’d do it.” Leana shakes her head, looking at all of us. “He’s crazy mad...but, his heart always knows where it’s at.”

The girls all nod and I find myself joining in agreement with them. The short time I’ve known Jimmy, I can totally see where his heart is. That man wears his heart on his sleeve.

Lacey speaks up again; she seems to be the one unofficially mediating this conversation. “Gena, is Zacky a romantic?”

Gena rolls her eyes. “There’re two things Zacky is. Romantic, and a big eater. Because, y’know, the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.”

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with his, uh...Italian blood?” Michelle asks, lips curling.

“Says the chick with Italian blood in her,” Leana comments.

I giggle at that. DiBenedetto is definitely an Italian name. There’s no denying that. But, Zacky does look like he’s at least part Italian.

“Well, yeah...” Michelle smirks. “Still, with a name like Baker.”

“Which is more English, than Italian.” Gena crosses her arms over her breasts. Just to make a note, we are all naked, by the way. Being in a spa and all.

“Yeah, but...Baker.” My sister sounds almost agitated, in a mocking kind of way.

“Bakers make bread, Chelle. They don’t eat it.” Again, I shut my mouth tight, blinking at my own audacity. Michelle looks at me, warmth showing in her eyes. Then she giggles, rolling them.

“True, Val...true.”

“Anyway!” Gena speaks above us. “Quit with your twinfest...I’m talking about Zack.”

Michelle snorts; I smile, leaning back more, enjoying the way the water laps around my shoulders. Twinfest? Nice to know they give the connection a name of sorts. Makes me feel wanted. Strange because I’ve never had anyone I could really associate with. Having my sister, though, it’s like a gift. An unasked for blessing.

“Go on then,” my twin murmurs.

Gena sniffs at the pretence of permission granted. “He’s got a heart of gold.”

“All our boys do,” Lacey interjects voice soft. She is the youngest of us all, but then Johnny is also the youngest of the guys. But, that doesn’t stop her from including herself in everything that is going on. Like I already said, she’s the one who seems to be steering the conversation.

“Not going to argue there,” Gena smiles.

“Chelle?” Leana cuts in. “What about Brian?”

Michelle smiles. “I think he’s gonna propose soon.”

The girls don’t even seem too surprised by that. Honestly, I don’t think that’s surprising at all. It’s obvious how much in love they are. I know it’s silly, but I envy what my twin has with Brian. Because I know I’ll probably never have anything like that with Matt...even though he says he loves me...even though I love him. I’m a slave, so I can’t ever hope that I’ll be anything more than that.

“Yeah, we totally didn’t see that one coming,” Leana snorts, shaking her head. “Jimmy and I were betting how long it’d take, y’know?”

“Johnny was too,” Lacey giggles.

Gena sighs, “Yeah, he likes gambling. So does Zack, he reckons Brian might pop the question in less than a month.”

“What about, Matt?” Lacey looks over at me.

I feel my stomach clench a little. What he said down on the beach several days ago comes back to mind. But, somehow I can’t bring myself to repeat it. So, I just shrug and murmur, “I don’t think Matt’s a betting man.”

Michelle coughs as if she’s trying to hide something. I look at her; she gives me a serious look. I frown, tilting my head. But she doesn’t explain, just shakes her head. But, she’s got me curious now and I feel confident enough to interrogate her, a little.

“Chelle, what do you know about Matt that I don’t?”

My twin gives an exasperated noise. “He likes going to the casino. Well, he went quite a bit when the guys were writing their last album.”

“Zack got inspiration for Scream from when they went to one, remember,” Lacey comments to my twin.

Michelle nods then looks at me again. “All I’m saying is that Matt would definitely be thinking about when his best friend’s gonna pop the question to me. He didn’t like that I got between them in high school.”

I frown, my mind churning over what Matt’s already told me about their past and the whole thing with his sister and that other guy Chelle went with for a while. However, I decide now is not the time to bring that up. Instead, I just nod in response. I just want this conversation to shift.

Obviously, the others think the same thing, because Gena pipes up.

“Val, tell us about Matt.”

“Yeah, it’s your turn.” Lacey runs her hands through her damp hair.

My mind goes blank for a frightening second or two. What the hell am I supposed to say? I don’t even know if they know what my relationship with Matt really is. I have no clue what Michelle has told them. I dare a look at my twin. But, to my surprise, it’s Leana who comes to my rescue.

“Jimmy told me about how you’re Matt’s...sub.”

Thank God for Jimmy. He’s obviously a lot more perceptive than I realised. And. Thank God that the Guild created that softer term. It’s the one most people use in mixed company. A lot of today’s society would baulk at the thought that there were slaves in the Western world. So, the Guild came up with the concept of the submissive. Of course, submissive is also a specific kind of slave, but in the general population the word is interchangeable with slave.

Shaking my head, I lower my eyes, muttering, “Yeah. It kind of sucks...” Those words leave my mouth before I can stop them, before I even realise I’ve spoken them. I shake my head, feeling like I have to justify my statement. “I mean, being with Matt is great...he’s...great. But...” I pause and look up at them.

Michelle is regarding me with a sad expression. The other girls are looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and sympathy. The former I can understand, the latter...saddens me. I don’t want, or need anyone’s sympathetic thoughts. No matter how well-meaning they are.

Crossing my arms and leaning my head back, I speak to the ceiling. Not having to meet their eyes makes it a little easier to talk about what I’m feeling.

“You’re all lucky, y’know? You can have real relationships with the guys...get married...make decisions together...have kids, even. If you want.” I bite my lip, but go on. “I can’t do any of that. I can warm his bed...and maybe his heart...but all I’ll ever be is maybe just a little higher on the ladder than his dog.”

“But, he loves you,” Michelle interjects. I glance over at her; she’s frowning deeply, her eyes sharp. “Shouldn’t that count for something?”

I sigh. “It’s against the rules...”

“Rules?” Leana scowls. “There are rules? Jimmy never mentioned that.”

I shake my head again. “That’s ‘cause only Chelle and Brian know about that.”

Michelle scoffs, “Only ‘cause we came barging in after Matt hurt you.”

“True, I don’t think either of us was really ready to talk about it. To anyone.” I look down at the surface of the water.

“Matt hurt you? What’s that got to do with rules? I’m confused.” Leana seems to be the only one capable of asking questions now. Gena and Lacey remain silent just taking it all in. Maybe it’s better that way. Le is the eldest of the girls and she has the qualities that I believe will make her a good mother. A random thought, I know...but, it’s just what I think.

I smile sourly her way. “Long story short. As a slave,” I’m not worrying about calling myself what I am, “I’m not allowed to love Matt...and he’s not allowed to love me. The Guild made that rule. And some guy came around to our place the other day and forced Matt to prove his mastership over me.”

“The Guild is shit,” Michelle mutters. “Or at least that’s what I think of them.” What she knows of them, at least.

I send a grateful smile her way. “Thanks for the support.” My twin nods slightly.

Leana rubs at her arms and murmurs, “Christ...that’s awful.”

“Speaking of Christ,” I say, ready to turn the topic away from me, because I’m not willing to open any further about my situation, for now. “Lacey?” I look over at the younger woman. “Tell us about Johnny?”

My twin gives me a knowing look. I knew Michelle could figure out why I was so hasty to steer the chat away from me. Thankfully, she just nods to me and picks up from where I asked my question, smirking toward Lacey as she does.

“Yeah? How can you tolerate being with a guy who’s shorter than you?”

Lacey laughs, shaking her head. “I just never wear heels. Simple.”

“Oh, come on.” Michelle laughs. “That can’t be the solution.”

“Yeah, we’ve seen you in heels,” Leana says, with a grin.

Lacey just shrugs, taking the jibes in good humour. Pretty admirable, I must say. The girls evidently rib her as much as the guys fool with Johnny. Goes with the territory, I guess. Michelle sighs next to me, shaking her head. I glance sideways at her.

She lifts an eyebrow then looks at her hands, holding them out in front of her. “I’m getting wrinkly.”

Gena smirks. “Time to head back, hey?”

An uneasy sinking feeling settles in my stomach. I try to quash it by telling myself that they guys will probably be close to finishing and that JD and his friend, whoever that is, won’t be there anymore. I know it’s stupid, but I don’t want to go home. I really don’t have anything to look forward to. Especially after the whole fiasco with that Guild guy, Robert, I just don’t feel comfortable. I know that Matt feels remorse for what he did, but I am a little afraid of being alone with him.

Yeah, I know that’s kind of a turnaround from just after it happened. But, looking back, I think that’s because part of me was numb to it all. It happens, people swing from one extreme to the next. Wanting closeness to being afraid of it. Then again, maybe that’s just because of what I am. As a slave I always tend to swing through the whole gamut of emotions.

Anyway, what I’m really saying is that I don’t want to go back just yet. But the other girls are already starting to get out of the spa, grabbing towels that have been left folded on chairs nearby.

Michelle notices me sitting still, the last one in the tub.

“Val? You okay?”

I glance up at her, all ready to nod and tell her yes, I’m fine thank you absolutely dandy. But I can’t, something prevents me from doing so. And then out of nowhere, it seems, I just start to cry. Tears well and roll unbidden down my face. I lift my hands, pressing them over my eyes.

“Chelle...” I choke out, my voice cracking. “I don’t...” A sob, escapes. Michelle kneels down next to me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

“Sis? You don’t what?”

Trembling, I shake my head. I can’t formulate my thoughts into coherent words. I know what I mean to say, but I can’t say what I mean. It’s too hard. I can’t even think properly. I mean, I don’t want to go back, but at the same time I really can’t stand being away from Matt. Though, at the same time I’m anxious about being near him. Yes, it’s crazy...I can’t figure it out...but there it is.

A shiver runs through my body, but I force myself to get up out of the spa. Michelle, thankfully, doesn’t press. Instead she grabs a towel and wraps it around my shoulders, giving them a supportive squeeze. I smile softly at her as the others mill around us. They also don’t try and pressure me into explaining my sudden mood change and that somehow warms me on the inside.

I have never been in a situation where there are people around me who are not demanding something of me, and it’s refreshing. It gives me hope that things might slowly get better. Hah. I’m sure nothing worse can possibly happen, not after what I’ve already been through. But who can tell, really?

“Val? Your clothes.”

I blink as Michelle holds my jeans and blouse out to me.

“Oh, right. Thanks.”

Pulling them on, I try not to think too much. This day is meant to be a day of not worrying about all the stuff going on. But, it’s difficult to not have real life encroaching on even the smallest moments of peace. Though, I guess it’s okay, considering we’re going back. I’ll need to have my wits about me. It’s just that, I really want to just hold onto the serenity that I felt while sitting in the spa.

I know I will cherish today for the rest of my life, until I have another like it. Which, judging by the way the girls are already discussing another day out, might not be that far away into the future. But, for now, life is going to go on, and new challenges will probably crop up.

After today, though, I think I can face them with a little more courage than before. And, that means everything, doesn’t it?

Notes