No Use For Words

Andi stepped into Arin’s suite, having sensed his nerves. The first gig was two days away, and yet he was already on edge.
“Arin?” she called to him. He stood near the full-length glass sliding door, the sun pouring in over him. “Are you alright?” He nodded.
“Yeah, thanks Andi,” he said, turning to her. But his voice shook. She shut the door behind her and bolted it. Not as a come on, but to prevent anyone from seeing him so nervous. The guys already gave him a hard time for being the new kid. “Really, I’m fine, just tired I guess.” She came to him, leaning against the wall.
“You’re nervous,” she said. “I can tell.”
“Wouldn’t you be?” he asked, frowning.
“Of course,” she answered. He looked at her, his deep brown eyes meeting hers. “But you’re going to be fine. I chose you. I didn’t even look up until I heard you playing. I know you’re good.” She said.
“I thought you said you didn’t choose, that you just agreed.” He said. She looked down at her hands. Her beautiful hands.
“It was between you and Portnoy,” she said. “You’re the better fit.” He shrugged, looking away. “I mean that. I don’t just dish out compliments that I don’t mean.” She reached out, one of her hands finding one of his. “Look at me,” she said. He did, and it took her breath away. She felt his hand, felt the distinct quiver. “You’re shaking.” She said. He jerked his hand away from her, running his hands through his hair in frustration.
“How the fuck am I supposed to drum if I can’t even keep my hands steady?” he asked. She came forward, closer, taking both of his hands this time. They were shaking. Before she knew what was happening, she pressed one to her cheek, holding it there, letting her body heat warm and steady him. He appeared thin and small next to the other band members, but he was over six feet tall and, though thin, he was leanly muscled. His hands were big, and the one she pressed to her face covered her face from the side of her chin to where her hairline ended behind her ear. She held his other hand, bringing it close to her face. She began pressing light kisses to his fingertips. He stilled, watching her. This beautiful, damaged, cold-shouldered young woman, wounded by the loss of her brother and the cruelty of her first love, was being affectionate to him, the very man chosen to replace her brother in their band. He stepped closer, pulling her to him. She looked up at him, looking warm and hurt at the same time. He leaned in, his mouth barely touching hers, then brushing his lips over hers, waiting for her to lash out. She kissed back, her lips tender and achingly pressing to his. And just as suddenly as it happened, she pulled back, her hand coming to her mouth from shock at what she’d done.
“I have to go,” she said. And he was so dazed, all he could do was watch her go.

The next night, the night before the opening show of the tour, they all met at a nice restaurant on the second floor of the hotel they were all staying in for dinner. It was a formal kind of kick off, and everyone dressed accordingly. Some of the guys, members and roadies, had their girlfriends. Some were alone.
“Where’s Andi?” Matt asked. And just as he said it, Arin caught movement on the staircase. It was her. Pretty one-sleeved black dress with a lace overlay. Black heels, enhancing her already killer legs. Matt had become distracted in conversation with everyone else, so it seemed that Arin was the only one who watched her descend the stairs.
She noticed him too. Black slacks, good shoes, crisply pressed black button down shirt and a black vest. His hair dark and perfectly tousled as usual. She smiled, looking down from his eyes, her cheeks flushing a pretty pink. And just before anyone noticed, he extended his arm.
“Care to escort a lady to dinner?” she asked, feeling dorky even as she said it. But he smiled.
“Of course,” he said. She took his arm, just as the others turned.
“Finally!” said Brian. But Matt could only see that her hand already rested around Arin’s arm. But everyone turned for the restaurant without saying anything about it.

Her heart pounded as she sat next to Arin. She thought for sure it was obvious, the mutual crushes they seemed to have on each other. In between sips of wine, her hands wrung in her lap. Arin watched her, listened when she spoke and he really would never have known she was uncomfortable, were it not for her hands. Beautiful hands that had reached for his, soft and gentle hands that provided comfort when he’d needed it. He wanted to reach over and still her hands, to kiss her fingertips as she had his, to provide calm. But he couldn’t. There was some tension around her; who would protect her in Jim’s honor, who would date her, who had hard feelings because she wasn’t interested. Publicly stepping into the tangle would upset the band which was still tenuously held together. When everyone was talking, he discreetly reached over, under the table, and placed his hand over hers in her lap. She froze for a moment, but then relaxed, lacing her fingers with his. He squeezed, then found her bare knee, his thumb brushing her smooth flesh. For a moment, it looked like she was enjoying it, but then she stiffened. She stood up.
“What’s wrong, Andi?” Matt asked. She looked confused and a bit shaken.
“I, I suddenly don’t feel very well,” she said. “I think I’m going to go out to the bus and lay down. I need the quiet, I think.” She excused herself.
They watched her go. Arin wasn’t sure whether to follow her or not.
“It’s Jim,” Johnny said. “New tour, new record, she’s missing him,” he said. Everyone agreed silently, turning back to their meals and drinks, but Arin needed to go to her.
“I’m just going to go make sure she’s ok,” he said.

“Andi?” he called as he got on the bus. He found her in the small bathroom on the bus. She was leaning against the sink, facing the door.
“I didn’t mean for you to follow me,” she said. Her cheeks and lips were flushed and he wasn’t sure if it was from the walk or because she was as attracted to him as he was to her. “Look, about last night, it, we, it can’t happen,” she said. “They, they would hate me, but they would murder you. I-I’m like their little sister and I-“
“You really think they’ve got you trapped, don’t you?” he asked. She studied him and suddenly, it dawned on him where he’d see those eyes before. She and Jim had the same bright blue eyes. It was unnerving, but he held his ground.
“You don’t understand, I’m Jimmy’s sister. I had a terrible relationship with Brian and Matt wanted me and,” she could see the confusion in his face. “Look, you’re a great guy. And you’re an amazing drummer. Don’t let getting caught up on me ruin that for you.”
“Is this what it’s done to you? Made you think that you ruin things?” he asked.
“You are a great guy. And now you can have any woman you want-“
“I want you,” he said. He came into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and locking it. He came to her then.
“You don’t know what you’re-“
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said softly, closing the distance between them.
“Arin-“ she whimpered, then his mouth was against hers again. He kissed her, first tentatively, then passionately. And she kissed back, with as much fervor and ache as he did. He pressed against her, his body lean and strong against hers. Of all of them, this is the one the feels the closest to home, she thought. He wasn’t older than her, wasn’t more jaded or worn with time and experience. He was a fresh breath of life not only to Avenged Sevenfold, but for her as well. His hand came to her hair, feeling its smooth, soft texture. They’d just broken their kiss, reveling in the moment of intimate tenderness when a loud knock came at the door behind them.
“Hey! Who’s in here?” came Johnny’s voice. They looked at each other in panic. She covered her mouth, both of them desperately searching for a believable excuse as to why they were locked in the bus bathroom together. A wave of nervous nausea swept over her and she suddenly knew what to do. She hurriedly knelt in front of the toilet, pulling her hair over her shoulder.
“Arin, I’m in here with Andi,” he said, leaning against the wall, holding her hair. He flushed the toilet for effect. “She had too much to drink.” He unlocked the door and Johnny looked in, seeing her knelt over the toilet.
“Shit, kid, you should take it easy, the tour’s only begun,” he joked. She stood up shakily, feigning nausea and drunkenness.
“S-shut up, I think it was s-something I ate,” she slurred. Arin smiled inwardly.
“She needs to lie down, make sure she doesn’t fall and hurt herself,” Johnny said, letting them out of the bathroom so he could get in. “And get her some water!” He called after them.
“I will!” Arin called back, following her to her bunk. They were alone again, at least for a moment before the rest of the band got on the bus.
“That was close,” she said. He nodded. He kissed her briefly.
“Keep your phone on and close,” he whispered against her lips. He then turned and left. “And locked.” He said just before he left her alone in her bunk.

Notes