Help Me

~Jimmy’s Point of View~

“Mommy!”
My eyes shot open. I didn’t realize that I had fallen asleep! I looked down to see my legs tangled with Serenity’s. Her arms around my torso, her head on my chest, my right arm around her shoulders. I rubbed my eyes and checked my phone.

3 missed calls
8:30 p.m.

Well fuck. I shoved the phone into my pocket and laid my head back down.
“Momma! Mommy come here!” Oh shit. How long has she been calling? I looked down at Serenity, who was still asleep. She must be so freaking tired…

I slipped out of her grip and got up from the bed as gently as I could with as fast as I was getting up, and headed straight for Evelyn’s room.
I poked my head in and saw her sitting up in her little bed.

“Jimmy,” she asked hesitantly. “Is that you?”
“Yeah it’s me baby,” I said, stepping into her room. “Do you need something?”
Evelyn nodded her head as I sat down next to her. “What’s the matter,” I asked. “What do you need baby?”
“I still don’t feel good,” Evelyn said, huge tears rolling down her face. “I’m not feeling good at all Jimmy.”
I frowned. Now, I’ve done a shit load of reading before, and I do know that chemo can do a lot of shit besides the obvious. Maybe little doll’s blood count was fucking up? I mean, who knows? Anything could be happening in her little body, and we wouldn’t know it.

“What are we gonna do,” she asked me sadly.
“Welp,” I said, popping the ‘p’. “We can sit here and ride it out. Orrrrrrrr, we can go to the Doctor’s and check your thingy. Which one do you want to do?”
“My thingy,” she asked, an adorable expression of confusion going over her face.
“That thingy,” I said, poking her catheter.
“Oh,” Evelyn said, looking down. “My elephant. That’s what the nurse calls it.”
“Oh, okay then. We can get your elephant checked,” I said. “Do you want to do that?”
“Mhmm,” she mumbled, wiping her face.
“Alrighty,” I said softly. “I’ll go get mommy up and we’ll take off, okay?” I kissed the top of Evelyn’s head and went to get Serenity up.

Let’s see what we’ve got in store for us tonight…
___________________________________________________________________________

Serenity was running on 30 second intervals. Everything was short and sweet. It was kind of scary, but I could understand. Shit had to be done fast, quick, and in a hurry. Evelyn was no longer easy going, but stone faced and quiet. It was almost like they had turned into completely different people over a matter of minutes. At first, I really didn't know what to think of it, but it was actually really simple:

It was how they coped. By shutting everything out. They couldn't let anything or anyone in to slow them down, for fear of failing and hurting the other person or destroying the thing. It was one of the saddest things I'd ever seen in my life.
___________________________________________________________________________

~Serenity's Point of View~

Once again, I sighed heavily.

We had been waiting at the hospital for about half an hour and it seemed that the longer we waited, Jimmy would fidget more, and more. Evelyn wasn't getting any better. Her skin was pale and her little hands were clammy.
"Momma," Evelyn groaned. She brought her little hands up to her stomach, and pushed them against herself, twisting her fingers in her shirt.
I pushed her hair back from her face to be met by her bloodshot eyes. They filled with tears when her bottom lip stuck out and began to quiver.

“I’m so sorry baby,” I told her. Jimmy grabbed my hand and gave me a determined look before standing up and walking to the receptionist desk.
‘What is this guy doing?’
“Excuse me, ma’am” Jimmy said with a deep breath.
“Yes sir, can I help you,” the woman said in a monotone voice.
“I’ve been sitting here with my friend and her daughter,” Jimmy said irritated. “This kid is experiencing stomach pains probably due to something with her chemo and we need help.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” the woman sighed. “The wait is fifteen minutes for every patient. That is-,”
“You have been sitting on your ass saying that bullshit to everyone that came in. It’s been over a fucking hour,” Jimmy snapped loudly, causing everyone in the room to look at him. “Fix it Goddamn it.”

The woman picked up a phone and glared at Jimmy as he walked away from her desk. Just as she put the phone back down, a few people that had been waiting there before us were called out of the room. Each of them stealing a glance at Jimmy as he pulled a crying Evelyn onto his lap. Evelyn’s tears flowed continuously for the entire duration of our wait. Eventually her fingers made their way to mine, and I held onto them for dear life. I couldn’t stand this anymore. I pulled out my phone and checked the time.

”It’s almost 10…,” I thought. “I fucking have class tomorrow and work tomorrow. These assholes are making my kid wait like we’ve got time to spare”
“You okay Serenity,” Jimmy asked me.
I nodded my head. “I’ve got to make a call,” I told him, about to get up from my chair.
“Mama, don’t leave,” Evelyn begged. Her eyes welling up again.
I looked at her and sighed. “I can do it for you, if you need me to,” Jimmy offered. ‘He’s so damn sweet.’
“No,” I said, smiling a bit. I squeezed Evelyn’s hand. “I’ve got to call my professor…” I caught the confused look Jimmy gave me before I dialed the teacher’s number and pressed the phone to my ear.

“Ms. Alire,” he said cheerfully. “How can I help you, ma’am?”
“Hello, Mr. Flannery,” I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry sir. I think I might have to drop your class.” I heard Jimmy suck in a sharp breath next to me, but I didn’t even bother looking at him. I just sighed again.
“Is everything alright?” Mr. Flannery knew all about Evelyn. Last semester, I tried so hard not to miss any classes, but failed. He offered to let me take my final early, but Evelyn had gotten very sick. So instead of taking it early, Mr. Flannery refused to let me drop so late in the semester and allowed me to bring Evelyn with me to take the exam. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
I took a moment to think about it before answering him. “Sir, I know,” I said. “I just, - It’s not that I want to drop. I just can’t afford to keep missing class. Midterms are coming up, and I’ve already gone over my amount of allowed absences. I can’t let you get in trouble, sir.”
Mr. Flannery let out a deep sigh. Before he could answer me, Jimmy leaned forward with Evelyn, scooping her little legs up so that she was in a laying position.
“I could take care of her if you need me to, Serenity,” he said loudly. “You don’t need to drop or anything. I’ve got it.”
My professor stayed quiet on the other line. I turned to Jimmy and stared at him intensely. “Are you sure, Jimmy,” I asked him. “This isn’t some kind of flu, or common cold. This is real hardcore stuff, and it could get out of hand very fast.”
Jimmy didn’t even think about it before answering, and nodded his head fiercely. “I’ve got it,” he said, puffing his chest out a little. “Vomit, blood, diarrhea, anything. You name it, I’m ready. She’ll be okay with me, I swear.”
I took a deep breath and turned to look away from him. “Okay,” I said quietly. “Expect me in class tomorrow, Mr. Flannery.”
“Are you positive, Serenity,” he asked me. “If you really can’t, you don’t have to. I won’t drop you from the course.”
I closed my eyes and nodded. “I’m sure,” I said. “I’ll be there. I won’t drop.”
“Okay then,” he said. “If you have to, you may sit in on the later class.”
“Thank you sir.” Just as I said that, Evelyn’s name was called. “Okay. Again, thank you sir. It means a lot.”
“No problem,” Mr. Flannery said, softly. “I wish you well. Have you good night.” And he hung up.

“You ready,” Jimmy asked, standing before me with Evelyn clinging tightly to him. Her arms around his neck while he supported her with his arm under her bottom.
He offered me his hand, and I took it to stand, but didn’t let go.
___________________________________________________________________________

“Alright Miss Evelyn,” Doctor Grant greeted as he walked in. “What seems to be the problem?”
Evelyn’s chin quivered. “My tummy is hurting,” she said simply.
The doctor kneeled in front of Jimmy, who still had Evelyn in his lap, to wrap a little blood pressure cuff on her arm. He took his usual recordings and then turned to pull a bright green sheet of laminated paper out of a drawer and showed it to Evelyn. On it was a line of little faces across the paper, each of them had a number above them going from one to ten. One being the happiest, ten being the saddest.

“Okay Evelyn,” Dr. Grant said. “I want you to point to the one that you’re feeling, okay? This is going to let me know just how bad your tummy is hurting.”
Evelyn nodded and took a moment to look at the paper before pointing at number 10. Dr. Grant nodded and wrote on his clipboard, which held her file. He read on it a little bit, then grabbed his little iPad off of the counter top to type some things in, then started reading a little more.
“Hm. Okay then. I’m going to assume that you are her father,” Dr. Grant asked, directing a hard glare at Jimmy. “I haven’t seen you around.”
Jimmy shook his head. “No sir, I am not,” he said. “Just a friend.”
“Okay,” Dr. Grant’s glare softened as he turned to me. “Ms. Alire, right now, I’m going to have to walk you into the next room where I will have a nurse take some blood from your daughter. We need to see what it is that’s going on in there.”
‘Fuck.’ I nodded at him, and he stood up. “Okie dokie,” he said. “Let’s go then. I want to get this over quickly so we can fix up Miss Evelyn’s elephant.” Dr. Grant made a face at Evelyn in attempts to make her laugh, but she could only manage a small smile.

After a little bit, Dr. Grant briefed a nurse quickly while Evelyn clung to my hand as she sat next to me before leaving us to her. She must have been a little intimidated by Jimmy because she didn’t bother to look at him. But then again, most of the staff here knew about Evelyn’s father and each of them were completely supportive of me, so maybe they thought Jimmy was her dad?

“Hey Evie,” Hannah (the nurse) said cheerily. “Do you know what we have to do?” Hannah gave Evelyn a sympathetic look. All the nurses knew Evelyn because she was one of the youngest cancer patients in this hospital, so when it came to all the needle pricks and whatnot, no one liked seeing her cry.
Evelyn shook her head no, but stiffened up when Hannah began to pull out the vile, small plastic tube and syringe. Her head snapped to Jimmy just as her tiny hand tightened around my fingers. I squeezed my eyes shut, almost as though I were the one getting the blood drawn.
“Jimmy,” Evelyn said, her voice shaking. “I don’t want to get a shot. I don’t like needles!”
Jimmy picked her up and sat her on his lap, holding her tightly against his body. With both his arms wrapped snugly around her torso, he held one of her arms down while the other dangled out. He winked at Hannah, and started to whisper in Evelyn’s ear, completely distracting her from the pretty good sized needle that was in Hannah’s hand.

Hannah looked over to me apologetically and bit her lip before she grabbed Evelyn’s hand and quickly jammed the needle into her tiny arm.

Evelyn screeched and started to cry.
“Oh Lyn-Lyn,” Jimmy said, trying to soothe her, but to no avail. “I’m sorry.”
Evelyn kept squirming, making it hard for Hannah to actually collect the blood from her arm since she kept moving the needle around.
I moved in close to Evie’s crying face. “Shhh,” I whispered until she calmed down. She continued to cry loudly though. “Baby, if you keep moving, it’s going to really hurt, then we’re not going to be able to tell what’s wrong with you if we don’t take the blood out.”

Once she sat still, it was over in a matter of seconds. The blood was out quickly and there was nothing else to it besides waiting. By the time the results for the quick blood test were out, it was 11:30. Turns out that Evelyn had to have a blood transfusion. Oh joy. More needles…

Sadly, I was not compatible with Evelyn on anything. So if I wanted to donate something to her, like an organ or some tissue, I couldn’t, and now insurance would have to pay extra money for someone else’s blood. Upon hearing this, Jimmy asked if there was any way that he could check if he were compatible with Evelyn and maybe he could help out a bit more. When he was letting the nurse take blood from his arm, tears fell from my face, which probably concerned him, but I couldn’t help it. I mean, other than what I’ve learned about him just from petty phone calls, he was just a complete stranger. Why would he help us this way?

Not too long after the nurses drew blood from Jimmy, we had to calm Evelyn down so that they could get her ready for her emergency transfusion.
“I hate needles,” she cried. “I hate them so much. I wish I could get better already. I don’t like this anymore. I hate needles.”
Aside from the tears falling from Evelyn’s eyes and the words coming from her mouth, the look on Jimmy’s face was heartbreaking. But why wouldn’t you feel terrible about it? She was a baby. My baby. And seeing her like this… Ugh. I could do nothing but lie in the bed next to her and cry with her. I didn’t know what else I could do, nor could I manage the strength to do anything else. I wanted her to get better just as much as she did. I hate seeing her this way. For about an hour and a half, I sat there and listened to her cry. When everything was finally over, Jimmy leaned down kissed both of our heads, not really caring that Dr. Grant had just walked in, about to give him the results of his and Evelyn’s compatibility test.

“Well Mr. Sullivan,” Dr. Grant said, a huge smile on his face. He reached down to wipe the tears off of Evie's face before going on. “It looks like you are a complete match for little Miss Evelyn here. Whatever it is that she needs, you sir, will be able to provide. All we need is for you to agree with anything there is to agree to and become an organ donor just in case her condition were to bring her down to that situation.”
“Really,” Jimmy asked happily, smiling widely.
“Yes sir,” Dr. Grant said, shaking Jimmy’s hand. “Well, I do believe that is all for tonight. Unless you have any other questions?”
“I, -I do actually,” Jimmy said quickly.
Dr. Grant raised his eyebrows. “What is that?”
“Uhm, well,” Jimmy started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know that blood transfusion are necessary for cancer patients because of the lack of red or white blood cells, or because of lack of platelets, and I know that it can be helped by donating blood stem cells and bone marrow and all that stuff. I was wondering how soon I could be able to do that for her.”
Dr. Grant looked over to me, and looked just as taken aback as I felt, then turned back to look at Jimmy and cleared his throat.
“Uh, I do believe that you know why it is important for Evelyn to get blood stem cells,” Dr. Grant said. Jimmy nodded his head. “And I have a feeling that you know it won’t be as comfortable as they say it is in the information provided on the Internet.”
Jimmy nodded again and smiled. “Yeah, I know.”
“Well, if you have someone who would be willing to bring you early tomorrow morning, I have a good slot left open,” Dr. Grant offered. “The process could take a good while.”
Jimmy looked over to me, then to Evelyn and nodded a third time. “That sounds good,” he said, setting his jaw a bit. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve been clean for a long time already. And I’m pretty healthy so yeah, I’m ready I think.”
Dr. Grant nodded at Jimmy. “Alright then,” he said, putting his hand out to Jimmy to shake. Then to me. “I will see you in the morning then. Have a good night guys.”

Jimmy carried Evelyn to my car and drove us home. Throughout the ride, Jimmy was fidgety, a lot more so than I’ve seen before, but he had a smile on his face. Perhaps satisfied that he would be able to help us out.
“Why did you do that,” I asked.
Jimmy glanced over to me, and smiled softly. “I hope you don’t think I’m doing this to score with you,” he chuckled. “I’ve always helped people out. Hell, I’ve donated blood to fans who were sick as shit. I donate blood and plasma all the damn time. But I’ve never donated bone marrow or anything.”
I shook my head at him and smiled, but it was short lived. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch,” I mumbled. “I’ve done it before with my mom. It fucking sucked.”
“I bet,” Jimmy said. “I know for sure it’s going to fucking hurt, but it’ll be worth it. I’ve never been compatible with anybody in any damn way, so I’m actually a little more excited about this than I probably should be.”
I looked at him and laughed before I realized that we weren’t headed to my house. “Where are you taking us Jimmy?” I asked him, trying not to laugh again.
“To my house, duh,” he said. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your secret stash.”
I rolled my eyes. I had a habit of packing extra clothes into a bag for Evelyn and I since I used to travel a lot and keep the bag in my trunk. It was like a just in case kind of thing, but Jimmy thought it was one of the dumbest things ever.

It didn’t take too long for us to get to his house, and once we were there, Jimmy went to my trunk to grab my bag, and I got a now sleeping Evelyn from the backseat. We made our way into the house, laid Evelyn in the guest room, and l made myself comfortable in Jimmy’s bed.
Talk about wonderful, and Jimmy didn’t make anything awkward. Especially since I was no longer wearing pants, and he was only in his boxers, but that didn’t keep him from cuddling. It was almost surprising that Jimmy was a cuddler. In fact, that wasn’t awkward either. One thing was for certain, feeling just how close his body was to mine, the way his skin warmed mine, feeling his fingers run down from my shoulder to my elbow as my arms were wrapped around his torso, and his breath in my hair… I realized just how much I missed being so close to someone this way. Even when it came to Evelyn’s father, there was never really a moment where I felt like I was truly wanted, and even though Jimmy and I had not known each other for that long, this just felt so right.

Not too long after we laid there, I felt my eyes begin to drift closed. Jimmy reached over to turn off the lamp on the side of the bed, then kissed my forehead and told me good night.

“Oh Jimmy. You haven’t even seen how bad things really get. I hope you know what you’re trying to get yourself into…”

Notes

Alright, so I'm sorry I didn't post this as soon as I thought I was, but last night I had one of the cutest moments with my little cousin and I just couldn't stop paying attention to her in order to keep writing this so, here you go! Hope you like it!!!