Help Me

Now here I lay, awake, with Evelyn on my stomach, Serenity at my side, and all my friends cuddled up with one another, all in more comfortable chairs since we let the staff know that we would all be staying. Matt, Val and Zacky were still awake also, either staring at me and the girls or at the floor or ceiling.

“So how are things going to happen, Jimmy,” Valary asked, tilting her head a little.
“Meh,” I sighed. “They’re going to have her in observation for a few days and let her out. She might have to get another transfusion in like, two weeks, but nothing else really.”
Val nodded. “Well, she’ll be up on her feet, so that’s good,” she said. “But that isn’t what I’m talking about, hun.”
I looked at her, this time I tilted my head. “What are you talking about, then,” I questioned, cocking my brow at her.
“She’s asking what you’re doing, dude,” Zack interjected. “With them? With her. Is this going to end up in another mutual break up? Are you going to give up? Are you going to get hurt?Are you going to hurt her? That’s what she means. We’re worried. Not just about you, but about her too.”
I shook my head, “No. No, no, no. I’m not having that conversation with you guys. Not right now. I can’t.”

“It isn’t a question of can or can’t Jimmy. You need to,” Val said forcefully. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, or change your mind about being involved with her. I’m trying to make you see that you are seriously going to have to have your wits about you. This is not going to be-,”

“And I’m not the same guy that you think you’re talking to,” I interrupted. “Not since I first saw them. It wasn’t Serenity that I fell in love with at first. It was this little girl. I know that fucking sounds weird, but it’s not the kind of love that you feel when you see Matt, or when Johnny sees Lacey, or when Brian see Michelle. This is so fucking different. All I know is that when I saw her, I wanted to take care of her and protect her. At first, this had nothing to do with Serenity, and now it does. You don’t understand guys. This is so… different. I used to go home and think about how much I drank, or how fucking blown I got, or think about how much I fucking cared about you guys. And now? I can’t stop thinking about them. Of course you guys are still there. Of course. But these two… I don’t know. I want to be here. For both of them. I fucking love this kid, and because of her, I fell in love with her. You know that I haven’t once. Not once! Thought about drinking a fucking beer or smoking fucking weed or anything else for that matter?! Not since I met them. I couldn’t. And it’s because of them. I know that something might happen, and I don’t want to miss anything in case it does. It isn’t like the other times. I knew that the moment I decided that I needed to see them again, and I’m doing my damnedest to prepare for that.”

Matt’s, Val’s and Zacky’s faces had fallen when I felt the tears run down my face. ‘Oh Goddamn it…’
“Jim,” Val whispered. “I didn’t mean to…”
“No,” I said shaking my head, reaching up with my free arm to wipe the stupid tears off my stupid face. “I didn’t either. They just came out. But seriously guys, I may not know what I’m doing, but I’m trying my best. I don’t want them to be alone. I really don’t. I want to show them to the world. I don’t want Serenity to struggle anymore. She doesn’t deserve it, she really doesn’t.”
“We know, Jimmy,” Matt said. “And we don’t want you to be hurt, okay? We just want to make sure you’re ready for anything that comes your way. But no matter what, we’ll be here for you. Always.”
I smiled softly at them and took a deep breath. “I love you guys.”
Val got up and walked to the bed. She stroked Evelyn’s head, then leaned in to kiss my cheek. “We love you too Jimmy,” she said. “Go to sleep already, okay? You’ve got a meeting with Larry tomorrow and he wants you all there.”
I nodded and nestled in tight with Evelyn and Serenity, hoping that neither of them heard our conversation.
“Please God, back me up on this…"

~The next morning~

“But are you going to come back?”
Evelyn’s pout was making it really hard for us to leave. The girls were going to stay behind while we all left to meet up with our manager, and Evelyn was not happy about it.
“Of course we’ll come back, baby,” I said to her. “I can’t just leave you here all alone! That’s why I told the girls to stay, so that they could entertain you while we’re gone.”
Evelyn looked around at the girls, then turned and stuck her lip out at me.
I couldn’t respond to her after that because I started laughing so hard.
“I know,” Brian said. “I wouldn’t want to be stuck here all day with them either.”
“Shut up Brian,” Michelle laughed. “I will seriously kick your ass!”
“Whaaaaaaaat,” he whined. “I didn’t say anything wrong! Just the truth!”

Suddenly Zacky snapped. “How about I bring Amber when we come back,” he bargained. “If you stay here and be a good girl, I’ll have Amber bring her toys and she can come play with you.”
Evelyn’s eyes widened and began to sparkle. “Can I share my cupcakes with her,” she squeaked.
“Oh shit,” Matt muttered, immediately catching Zacky.
“Sure you can,” Zack said to her, shrugging.
“You done fucked up,” I thought.

“Yay,” Evelyn cheered. “Okay! You can go! Byeeee!”
We all started to laugh again as I turned to Serenity, who was shaking her head at her daughter. I leaned in to kiss her and she laughed.
“Zacky just fucked up,” she giggled.
“Oh my God, I know,” I laughed. “Make sure she eats some actual food before she eats those damn cupcakes. Those things are like fucking drugs and she’s about to have the craziest sugar high of her life!”
“I knoooooow,” Serenity sighed, a dazzling smile on her face.
I kissed her again and said goodbye before turning to leave.

The guys and I started talking about bitch tour, among other things that I care not to mention, and made our way through and out of the hospital.
We all jumped into Matt’s escalade and drove to the studio where Larry was already waiting for us.
THE VERY FIRST THING, I shit you not, he did was congratulate me on my new “catch.”
“What…” I said to him as he shook my hand.
“Your new girlfriend, you dipshit,” Johnny said.
“Oh” I mumbled, scratching my head. “How do you know about that?”
“Syn put a picture on twitter while y’all were asleep,” Matt tattled.
“Are you fucking kidding,” I snorted. “You’re a bitch!”
“Hey! It was Evelyn’s idea,” Brian cried, dodging the pen I threw at him.
“Oh fuck!” I could almost feel everything come to a stop. “She isn’t in the picture, is she? I don’t know how Serenity would feel about that.”
“Naw,” Zack said. “She was the one that took it. Haha!”

“Alright,” Larry said cutting us all off. “The guys filled me in on all of that, even the little girl. I really need you to talk to your girlfriend about that, because regardless of how she may feel, pictures are going to find their way onto the web.”
I nodded at him and pulled out my phone and started texting Serenity.
Baby, I need to talk to you when I get back okay? Nothing bad, but a little serious. It’s about media and shit. Xoxo.

“Kay done,” I yelled.
And from there, we got down to business. We discussed transportation and equipment, budget and all that fun stuff. Mostly things that had already been taken care of.

“So who are we touring with again,” Zack asked.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Larry chuckled, going through his papers and pulling one out. “Matt, would you do the honors?”
“Okay,” Matt said, smiling. “Uh, we’ve got Slipknot, and Trivium. Damn, that’s pretty good.”
“Aw, fuck yeah,” Johnny cheered.
“Dude,” Brian sighed. “That sounds like it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun.”
I nodded and grinned at the guys, and Zack sat back looking satisfied.

“Are the girls going with you guys,” Larry asked. “I don’t need an answer right now, but it is an option since we have extra room. There was supposed to be another band, but they dropped.”
The guys all looked at me.
“Uhhhhhhh, what,” I asked.
“We’ll talk about it,” Matt said, pushing the subject to the side.
“Okay then,” Larry said. “Well we’re going to have a party kicking off the tour the night before we hit the road, so just have that answer ready for me before then guys. That will be all. Go free!”

And with that we left. See? Short and sweet. That’s why we loved Larry. No bullshit and straight to the point.

We made our way out of the building and to the car while Zack called his sister letting her know that he was going to pick Amber up and watch her for a few days.
Just about the entire way there, he argued with his sister about one million things, it drove all of us crazy. Finally he hung up and sighed angrily.
“I swear to fucking God,” he growled.
“What happened Zacky,” Matt asked from the driver’s seat.
“I’m going to fucking take that kid away from her,” Zack said. “I’m tired of that shit. She’s in the background bawling, and her mom just sits there and is all like, ‘Oh, she doesn’t have any clean clothes and she hasn’t eaten yet. But okay, whatever.’ That shit isn’t going to fly with me anymore. I’m fucking done.”

I shook my head, feeling my ears heat up.
“You guys mind if we go to the mall,” Zacky asked. “I’m not walking around with her in no fucked up clothes and shit. I’m fucking taking her on tour with me. Fuck that. I don’t give a shit anymore. School’s out and that’s it. I’m done with having to bring her to this shit hole.”
“Don’t even worry about it, Zee,” Matt said. “We’ll head over when we get her.”
“Kay,” Zack responded, and after that we were all quiet.

Once we got there, Zack jumped out of the car, stormed off and barged into the house. We could already hear him and his sister arguing before he even shut the door.
After a super long ass while, I sighed loudly.
“I’m gonna call the girls and let them know we’re taking an extra stop,” I announced. The guys just nodded at me, not really in the mood to say much.

I dialed Serenity’s number and laughed when she answered on the first ring:
“Hello?”
“Hey you,” I laughed. “What are you doing?”
“Oh nothing,” she told me. “Just sitting here with the girls. Tiffani went to help Evelyn take a bath. What are you doing?”
“Just sitting here with the guys,” I said. “Zacky just went to get Amber and he’s taking his sweet ass time. I was calling to let you know that we might be a little longer than expected, but not too, too long.”
“Okay I guess,” She sighed. “Hurry though!”
“Okay, Okay,” I chuckled. “I’ll see you later.” And with that we hung up.

Just as I put my phone in my pocket Zacky came out of the house holding a screaming/sobbing Amber by her wrist, who was holding her cheek with the other hand.
“What the fuck,” Johnny whispered.
I threw the door open and reached out to her.
“Go to the truck Amber,” a red faced Zacky commanded.
Amber ran to the truck and climbed in, her hair dripping wet and shaking.
Zack came back dragging a small, pink suitcase, and got into the truck.

“Is everything okay, Zack,” Matt asked.
“Just fucking drive, Matt,” Zacky growled.
Amber had her little arms around my waist, still sobbing and shaking.
Zacky pulled her off and had her face him, but she looked down.
“Amber, look at me,” he demanded. “I’m not mad at you, baby. I want to see what mommy did.”

Amber lifted her head and Zacky bit his lip.
“That stupid… UGH, my God, that is IT,” he yelled, turning away from Amber.
At first I got pissed off about how he was treating her, but when she started to sob again, she turned to me and the first thing I saw was the red mark that was beginning to turn purple on her cheek. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to see her face, and was doing his best to keep from reacting the way any of us would. Or the way that I was thinking...

I sucked in a deep breath and bit my tongue to keep from saying something that would make things worse and pulled Amber into a hug.
“Matt, fucking take me home. I’m need to have a talk with my niece,” Zacky said, fuming. “I’ll bring her around later, Jimmy. I’m sorry.”
“No man,” I mumbled, too angry to say anything more. “Just stay home. Fuck it.”

“I’m sorry Uncle Zacky,” Amber wailed into my shirt.
Zacky looked at us, not knowing what to say, and I glared at him.
“No, baby, it’s not your fault,” Brian said from the front seat. “Uncle Zacky just doesn’t know what to say.”

We got to Zack’s house in no time, and we all sat there quietly for a bit.
“I’ll call you when things we figure shit out,” Zack muttered.
Zack opened his door and pried Amber away from me, I looked away not wanting to see the ugly bruise forming on her face. Once he was out of the car, Amber latched onto him and he kicked the door closed.
“I hope things work out, man,” Johnny sighed. “No kid deserves that kind of shit.”



~Serenity~


Just as we started a movie for Evelyn on the crappy T.V., the boys all walked in with sour faces. All but Zacky and the promised Amber.
Evelyn was the first one to pick up on this.

“What happened to Amber,” Evelyn asked sadly.
The boys all looked at each other, which made the girls and I all exchange glances.
“She wasn’t feeling very good,” Matt lied, texting on his phone, not bothering to look at her.
Evelyn, being the smart kid that she was, picked up on that too. “Why not,” she pressed. “Did she have the sniffles?”
“I guess you can say that,” Jimmy said quickly, coming to the rescue. “She had a real bad… headache…”
“Oh, that’s too bad, I guess,” Evelyn sighed.

Val, who was sitting next to me, sighed and passed her phone to me. I looked at her, then looked at her phone to see a message from Matt saying:
“Her mom hit her. She’s at home with Z right now. He was so pissed that he couldn’t even look at her.”

Johnny sat on the bed with Evelyn and she started to poke his arms and I laughed as Lacey went to join her. Jimmy nodded at me to get my attention.
I looked up at him and he mouthed, “Come here.”
So I got up and took his hand, and he walked me out.
“Okay,” he started. “Apparently Syn posted a picture of us that Evelyn took and we are now all over the place.”
“What,” I asked. “I, uh, when was this?”
“While we were asleep,” Jimmy said.
“Uhm, okaaay,” I said, not really knowing what to say.
“Well it isn’t a bad thing, I just didn’t know how you felt about that kind of thing, you know,” he said quickly. "The paparazzi and crazy fans. Maybe even random pictures of Evelyn floating around on the interwebs?"
I laughed at him, “I wouldn't be angry about it. I just, I don’t know. Haha! I don’t care. I don’t even think Evelyn would mind. I’m sure she’d like the attention. Unless they were like, really bad pictures, if you know what I mean. But yeah, I don't care.”
Jimmy sighed. “Okay, good. Then that leaves us with just one more question.”
“Okay,” I laughed.
“Do you want to go on tour with me?” Just as I was about to refuse, Jimmy gave me a pout. It had to be the most adorable thing I’d ever seen.

“Really Jimmy,” I whined.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssee,” he screeched. “I can’t go on an hour without you or Evelyn, you think I’ll be able to do it for three months?!”
“Are you sure it would be a good idea,” I asked, frowning. "What if Evelyn gets sick?"
Jimmy sighed heavily, “True.”
I put my hands on his face and tiptoed so I could kiss him. He put his hands on my hips and bent lower so that he could deepen this kiss, I parted my lips just a little and he sighed and pulled away a bit so he could look into my eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go,” I started. “I just don’t know how she’ll be feeling.”
“No baby, I know,” Jimmy smiled a bit. “It’s okay.”
I groaned and he laughed. “Don’t worry about it, okay,” he said, pulling me to him. "It's fine."
“Ugh, noooo it isn’t,” I whined.
“Haha! Okay,so then what do you want to do,” he asked, smiling hugely.
“Why don’t we ask Evelyn,” I suggested. “I mean, it’s kind of up to her on whether or not she wants to go, soooooo…”
“Really,” Jimmy said, all too excitedly.
I smiled at him, and he grabbed my hand and dragged me back into the direction of her room but just as we got to the door he stopped, then turned around.

“Why don’t we wait,” he asked quietly. “There’s a party that we have to kick off the tour and I just got an idea.”

Notes

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, just so you know, I have nooooo idea what Zacky's family is like, so please don't hate me. Let's just see how things work out in that department there. I can guarantee that it will be a very bumpy road, but I don't know what the endpoint for that drama will be like. Cross your fingers guys!

And as for Jimmy's idea? :)

More coming soon!