The Diary Of Bree
Painful Memories Resurfaced
After my tattoo was finished I admired it in the mirror while the girl finished putting lotion and what not on it. I watched all the guys as they laughed and joked with each other in the waiting room. I was kinda jealous. I never really had any friends that I could joke and actually have fun with. Any time I got with a ‘friend’ it was basically for cutting and smoking purposes.
The tattoo came out better than I expected. I was very happy with myself and I knew that I made the right decision. I called the guys over to look at it and they came over and started admiring it as well. Zacky pulled me into a tight hug, and I stood there in his arms relaxed until the feeling got oddly familiar. That’s when I started to cry. Jimmy noticed and told Zacky to let me go.
“What’s wrong Bree-Bree?” Zacky asked concerned with my sudden outburst of tears.
I made a pained expression, not really being sure whether I would tell them the real reason why I was so upset.
“Zacky don’t call me that!” I screamed.
I got looks from the other people in the shop but I didn’t care.
“He was the only one who I let call me that, the only one!” I continued with my outburst, but this time I made sure we were outside the shop.
Everyone looks at me with sad faces. I felt bad for making them seem like I was really upset with them. I wasn’t, and it wasn’t their faults at all, in fact it was all my fault.
“Who are you talking about Bree? Who was the only one to call you what?” This time it was Johnny who asked.
“I’m taking about….” I stop. I go back on the bus and they all follow. I wasn’t going to discuss this in the middle of the busy Chicago streets, with a bunch of huge guys who look like they are gonna rob a place, not to mention anyone who likes music would notice them and make a big scene.
I continued once they were all on the bus and sitting comfortably, it might be awhile.
“I’m talking about Ricky, you know, the one my tattoo is for. Well, something happened with us a couple months ago, and it was my fault so I owe it to him to leave a permanent scar on my body as a constant reminder that what happened was all my fault.” I started to cry again and put my face in my hands.
“Bree you know you can tell us right, we are here for you.” I hated the fact that he was hiding from me a critical part of his lie. The fact that he already knew my tormented past was just another cut on my wrist because the last thing I needed from rock stars was pity.
** Flashback**
[i]Ring…ring….ring…..suddenly the phone stopped ringing and music took its place.
“Shh…quiet you might piss somebody off
Like me motherfucker you’ve been at it for too long.”
I should have known that he wasn’t going to answer, and just as I was about to hang up a familiar voice takes place of the music.
“Hello?”
“Yes, hello, is this Brian Haner Jr.?” I asked in a very professional tone.
“Yeah, and who may I ask is calling?” He was just as cocky as ever, and that’s what I loved about him.
“This is Doctor Brent” I stated in a plain tone of voice.
There was a long pause.
“Ohhh yeah I remember now, what’s up Doc?” He chuckles into the phone.
“You know that favor you promised me a couple of years ago?”
“Hellz yea I do, you finally think of a way that I can make it up to you?”
“Yes I did, and I hope you guys are on the road because your going to have to come back to Chicago for this one.”
“Yea, actually your in luck. We are on tour right now, and we just happen to have a show in Chicago on my birthday. Can you believe my birthday is in six days, July 7th baby!” He yells into the phone causing me to hold the phone away from my ear.
“Yes, I know that this Saturday is your birthday, and I have a young lady at the hospital here with a birthday this Saturday too, and she happens to be a huge fan of your music, and would love to meet you. You get to be her birthday present from me for a day. I hope that is not to much trouble. Bree really loves your music and she even rights songs of her own. She is a very talented girl, but she has just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she has suffered greatly.”
Brian was silent on the phone, probably wondering what he should say back to that.
“Can you tell me what she has been through, or is like confidential?”
“No, I can tell you, but I want you to promise me that you will not tell her that you know. I just want her to be able to be comfortable around someone besides me, and to be able to tell people what happened, but she will only tell people she truly trusts. She is only about to turn 18. She has her whole life ahead of her, and I believe that if she got to know you and the band, she would learn to put her past behind her”
“I get it, so what happened to her that messed her up so bad?”
[b]“Well from what she told me it all started with a fight with her parents about how much of a pain she was in their lives. She was so upset and so sick of all the fighting that she was going to commit suicide. She was already cutting and smoking to relieve the stress her parents put on her, but she had had enough of all the fighting and just wanted it to be over. She had stolen her fathers gun before she ran out of her house and towards her school, which she told me is where she did all of her cutting.
Then fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you want to look at it she decided to count to three before she pulled the trigger. That’s when her friend Ricky, who had been hiding in the stall jumped out trying to stop her. She was so startled that she shot at him, hitting him in his leg and severing the major artery in his leg. He was bleeding very badly and needed to get to a hospital fast before he bled to death. Unfortunately, Bree was to scared; she thought that if she called for help that they would bring her back to her parents, which was the last place she wanted to go back to. She panicked and shot Ricky again, killing him instantly. She then heard the police and ran to the one place that she didn’t want to go back. She went straight home and cried her eyes out.
She went back to school the next day, and saw all of the memorial banners and candles the students left and all her feelings came rushing back. She was going to try to kill herself again, this time with headache pills that were prescribed to her. She entered the same bathroom that now had a large blood stain on the while tile floor. She ran into a stall to vomit before empting her pill bottle and swallowing all of the pills.
She had just passed out as a police officer had entered the room to gather more evidence, he called 911, and that’s when I met her. She was in a coma for a month before she woke up.
Then Ricky’s older brother heard about what happened and came to get revenge. He kidnapped her, and almost killed her. He shot her once almost with a fatal blow, and she was in another coma for about a month because of the shock of the incident.”[/b]
“ Now the only thing she has been looking forward to since then is her birthday, so I hope you will be able to get her to be her cheerful self again.”
“wow” was all he could say, and I didn’t expect him to say much more because it was a lot to take in all at once, or at least that’s how I felt when she told me. She needs to know what its like to be a teenager again, do you think you can help her with that Brian?”
“Well, let me talk to the guys about it then I’ll call you back but right now I need to get to a sound check.”
“Ok Brian, bye”
“Bye”
…………
……………..
……………………
A couple hours later my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it is Brian.
“Yes, this is Doctor Brent, how may I help you this lovely evening Brian?”
He chuckles into the phone.
“Your wish has been granted by the people, and if I may say so myself I have one hell of an argument. So I will see you and the little lady on Saturday for a double day of birthday fun” I’m sure he was smiling on the other end of the phone. I could hear the emotion in his voice. It made me happy that he was happy about the whole situation.
“So did I pick the right people for this job?” I asked not really looking for an answer in return.
“Fuck yes you did! We, Avenged Sevenfold are the mother of all partiers on this mother fucking planet, and you better believe it. We will have that kid’s head spinning before she takes even a sip of JD.” He laughs into the phone.
“Ok good, glad to hear it.”
“Oh, and Brian, please don’t let her know that you already know. It will make it easier on her if she thinks you don’t know what she has been through, she will be able to be relaxed.
“No problem, well I got to go, show is starting in 20 minutes and I need to get on stage. See you Saturday at 10 AM sharp ok”
“Yes. Bye Brian”
“Bye”[/i]
**End Flashback**
“Guys I really can’t tell you what happened. If I did you would never want to see my face again.” I was still arguing with them about my past. It has been over two hours, when are they gonna give up?
“Bree, we have all done our share of bad deeds, I’m sure yours is nothing different.” Matt states, trying to get me to stop crying.
I sigh. I might as well tell them, its not like after today I am ever going to see them again.
“Fine I’ll tell you if it gets you all to shut up for a little while.”
Their faces light up and I begin my life’s story, in all its glory, and its tragedy.
…………
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………………………………………..
……………………………………………………
I breathe out after I finish the conclusion to my horror story called life.
“See I told you, now you know I’m a murderer and an unwanted child. I just bring misery upon everyone that I meet. You should all just stay away from me.” I wipe the tears from my face, but just as I finish new ones fall replacing the ones I wiped away.
I look up from my hands to see every single one of the smiling. I got angry, this shouldn’t be happening I thought, they should want to kick me off of this god damned bus by now.
“Why the fuck are you smiling?”
“PHASE ONE AND TWO COMPLETE!’ They all yell in unison.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“We already knew all about your past from your doctor, we just wanted to hear you say it for yourself.”
“How the fuck did you already know? I haven’t told anyone except my doct…..Oh my God, I am so gonna kill him when I get back to the hospital! I can’t believe he would just tell anyone, especially you! When did he tell you?”
“When he called Brian about coming to meet you he mentioned that you had a troubled past so we asked him about it, so he told Brian and then Brian told us. He just wanted you to open up and to have fun, hence phase one and two complete.” Zacky explained. I was still pissed but he looked so adorable with his baby face that I couldn’t bring myself to hate him for what happened.
“So is there a phase three?”
“Phase three is you and us at our concert tonight. We need to go to the studio to practice your song. I read it, it’s amazing.” Matt states
“Wait a sec. You, Avenged Sevenfold, one of the best mother fuckin bands ever, liked one of my lame ass songs?”
“Yes” Syn states plainly almost shocking me for the fact he had no emotion in his voice at all.
“The rehearsal is in two hours so I suggest you take a shower and get ready now, because once we start getting ready it gets really chaotic in here, and I doubt you want to be in here with five naked guys running around like maniacs” He looks at his own body then smiles.
“Then again, maybe you do. Your choice.” He smiles that evil smile, and I shake my head and make my way towards the shower.
Once I finished getting ready I noticed that we were already at the venue, and that the other band that we were touring with was just finishing up their rehearsal. I got off the bus to go see who it was when I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Oh my fucking God you guys didn’t tell me that you were touring with…….!!”
The tattoo came out better than I expected. I was very happy with myself and I knew that I made the right decision. I called the guys over to look at it and they came over and started admiring it as well. Zacky pulled me into a tight hug, and I stood there in his arms relaxed until the feeling got oddly familiar. That’s when I started to cry. Jimmy noticed and told Zacky to let me go.
“What’s wrong Bree-Bree?” Zacky asked concerned with my sudden outburst of tears.
I made a pained expression, not really being sure whether I would tell them the real reason why I was so upset.
“Zacky don’t call me that!” I screamed.
I got looks from the other people in the shop but I didn’t care.
“He was the only one who I let call me that, the only one!” I continued with my outburst, but this time I made sure we were outside the shop.
Everyone looks at me with sad faces. I felt bad for making them seem like I was really upset with them. I wasn’t, and it wasn’t their faults at all, in fact it was all my fault.
“Who are you talking about Bree? Who was the only one to call you what?” This time it was Johnny who asked.
“I’m taking about….” I stop. I go back on the bus and they all follow. I wasn’t going to discuss this in the middle of the busy Chicago streets, with a bunch of huge guys who look like they are gonna rob a place, not to mention anyone who likes music would notice them and make a big scene.
I continued once they were all on the bus and sitting comfortably, it might be awhile.
“I’m talking about Ricky, you know, the one my tattoo is for. Well, something happened with us a couple months ago, and it was my fault so I owe it to him to leave a permanent scar on my body as a constant reminder that what happened was all my fault.” I started to cry again and put my face in my hands.
“Bree you know you can tell us right, we are here for you.” I hated the fact that he was hiding from me a critical part of his lie. The fact that he already knew my tormented past was just another cut on my wrist because the last thing I needed from rock stars was pity.
** Flashback**
[i]Ring…ring….ring…..suddenly the phone stopped ringing and music took its place.
“Shh…quiet you might piss somebody off
Like me motherfucker you’ve been at it for too long.”
I should have known that he wasn’t going to answer, and just as I was about to hang up a familiar voice takes place of the music.
“Hello?”
“Yes, hello, is this Brian Haner Jr.?” I asked in a very professional tone.
“Yeah, and who may I ask is calling?” He was just as cocky as ever, and that’s what I loved about him.
“This is Doctor Brent” I stated in a plain tone of voice.
There was a long pause.
“Ohhh yeah I remember now, what’s up Doc?” He chuckles into the phone.
“You know that favor you promised me a couple of years ago?”
“Hellz yea I do, you finally think of a way that I can make it up to you?”
“Yes I did, and I hope you guys are on the road because your going to have to come back to Chicago for this one.”
“Yea, actually your in luck. We are on tour right now, and we just happen to have a show in Chicago on my birthday. Can you believe my birthday is in six days, July 7th baby!” He yells into the phone causing me to hold the phone away from my ear.
“Yes, I know that this Saturday is your birthday, and I have a young lady at the hospital here with a birthday this Saturday too, and she happens to be a huge fan of your music, and would love to meet you. You get to be her birthday present from me for a day. I hope that is not to much trouble. Bree really loves your music and she even rights songs of her own. She is a very talented girl, but she has just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she has suffered greatly.”
Brian was silent on the phone, probably wondering what he should say back to that.
“Can you tell me what she has been through, or is like confidential?”
“No, I can tell you, but I want you to promise me that you will not tell her that you know. I just want her to be able to be comfortable around someone besides me, and to be able to tell people what happened, but she will only tell people she truly trusts. She is only about to turn 18. She has her whole life ahead of her, and I believe that if she got to know you and the band, she would learn to put her past behind her”
“I get it, so what happened to her that messed her up so bad?”
[b]“Well from what she told me it all started with a fight with her parents about how much of a pain she was in their lives. She was so upset and so sick of all the fighting that she was going to commit suicide. She was already cutting and smoking to relieve the stress her parents put on her, but she had had enough of all the fighting and just wanted it to be over. She had stolen her fathers gun before she ran out of her house and towards her school, which she told me is where she did all of her cutting.
Then fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you want to look at it she decided to count to three before she pulled the trigger. That’s when her friend Ricky, who had been hiding in the stall jumped out trying to stop her. She was so startled that she shot at him, hitting him in his leg and severing the major artery in his leg. He was bleeding very badly and needed to get to a hospital fast before he bled to death. Unfortunately, Bree was to scared; she thought that if she called for help that they would bring her back to her parents, which was the last place she wanted to go back to. She panicked and shot Ricky again, killing him instantly. She then heard the police and ran to the one place that she didn’t want to go back. She went straight home and cried her eyes out.
She went back to school the next day, and saw all of the memorial banners and candles the students left and all her feelings came rushing back. She was going to try to kill herself again, this time with headache pills that were prescribed to her. She entered the same bathroom that now had a large blood stain on the while tile floor. She ran into a stall to vomit before empting her pill bottle and swallowing all of the pills.
She had just passed out as a police officer had entered the room to gather more evidence, he called 911, and that’s when I met her. She was in a coma for a month before she woke up.
Then Ricky’s older brother heard about what happened and came to get revenge. He kidnapped her, and almost killed her. He shot her once almost with a fatal blow, and she was in another coma for about a month because of the shock of the incident.”[/b]
“ Now the only thing she has been looking forward to since then is her birthday, so I hope you will be able to get her to be her cheerful self again.”
“wow” was all he could say, and I didn’t expect him to say much more because it was a lot to take in all at once, or at least that’s how I felt when she told me. She needs to know what its like to be a teenager again, do you think you can help her with that Brian?”
“Well, let me talk to the guys about it then I’ll call you back but right now I need to get to a sound check.”
“Ok Brian, bye”
“Bye”
…………
……………..
……………………
A couple hours later my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and see that it is Brian.
“Yes, this is Doctor Brent, how may I help you this lovely evening Brian?”
He chuckles into the phone.
“Your wish has been granted by the people, and if I may say so myself I have one hell of an argument. So I will see you and the little lady on Saturday for a double day of birthday fun” I’m sure he was smiling on the other end of the phone. I could hear the emotion in his voice. It made me happy that he was happy about the whole situation.
“So did I pick the right people for this job?” I asked not really looking for an answer in return.
“Fuck yes you did! We, Avenged Sevenfold are the mother of all partiers on this mother fucking planet, and you better believe it. We will have that kid’s head spinning before she takes even a sip of JD.” He laughs into the phone.
“Ok good, glad to hear it.”
“Oh, and Brian, please don’t let her know that you already know. It will make it easier on her if she thinks you don’t know what she has been through, she will be able to be relaxed.
“No problem, well I got to go, show is starting in 20 minutes and I need to get on stage. See you Saturday at 10 AM sharp ok”
“Yes. Bye Brian”
“Bye”[/i]
**End Flashback**
“Guys I really can’t tell you what happened. If I did you would never want to see my face again.” I was still arguing with them about my past. It has been over two hours, when are they gonna give up?
“Bree, we have all done our share of bad deeds, I’m sure yours is nothing different.” Matt states, trying to get me to stop crying.
I sigh. I might as well tell them, its not like after today I am ever going to see them again.
“Fine I’ll tell you if it gets you all to shut up for a little while.”
Their faces light up and I begin my life’s story, in all its glory, and its tragedy.
…………
………………….
…………………………..
………………………………………..
……………………………………………………
I breathe out after I finish the conclusion to my horror story called life.
“See I told you, now you know I’m a murderer and an unwanted child. I just bring misery upon everyone that I meet. You should all just stay away from me.” I wipe the tears from my face, but just as I finish new ones fall replacing the ones I wiped away.
I look up from my hands to see every single one of the smiling. I got angry, this shouldn’t be happening I thought, they should want to kick me off of this god damned bus by now.
“Why the fuck are you smiling?”
“PHASE ONE AND TWO COMPLETE!’ They all yell in unison.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“We already knew all about your past from your doctor, we just wanted to hear you say it for yourself.”
“How the fuck did you already know? I haven’t told anyone except my doct…..Oh my God, I am so gonna kill him when I get back to the hospital! I can’t believe he would just tell anyone, especially you! When did he tell you?”
“When he called Brian about coming to meet you he mentioned that you had a troubled past so we asked him about it, so he told Brian and then Brian told us. He just wanted you to open up and to have fun, hence phase one and two complete.” Zacky explained. I was still pissed but he looked so adorable with his baby face that I couldn’t bring myself to hate him for what happened.
“So is there a phase three?”
“Phase three is you and us at our concert tonight. We need to go to the studio to practice your song. I read it, it’s amazing.” Matt states
“Wait a sec. You, Avenged Sevenfold, one of the best mother fuckin bands ever, liked one of my lame ass songs?”
“Yes” Syn states plainly almost shocking me for the fact he had no emotion in his voice at all.
“The rehearsal is in two hours so I suggest you take a shower and get ready now, because once we start getting ready it gets really chaotic in here, and I doubt you want to be in here with five naked guys running around like maniacs” He looks at his own body then smiles.
“Then again, maybe you do. Your choice.” He smiles that evil smile, and I shake my head and make my way towards the shower.
Once I finished getting ready I noticed that we were already at the venue, and that the other band that we were touring with was just finishing up their rehearsal. I got off the bus to go see who it was when I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Oh my fucking God you guys didn’t tell me that you were touring with…….!!”
10/27/12