Not a bad thing

Izzie’s POV
After eating my breakfast-lunch and having a long bath, I put on my sweatpants and Matt’s sweater and I walked into the living room. Tammy was making notes in a black notebook “Ideas for your new book?” I asked walking in. Tammy smiled “I’m kind of in the middle of writing a new one, I’m actually really excited about it. Maybe I will let you read a few chapters if you are a good girl” she laughed, she knows I love her books. She was one of my favourite writers, besides the fact that she was a close friend. She padded on the seat next to her. “Sit next to me Izzie, you need to start talking, I can see this is eating you alive”

I looked at my hands, still not really willing to talk about this. It hurt so much even thinking about it. “Izzie, why are you here?” “It’s Matt” I said quietly. “What’s up with Matt, I thought you guys were closer than ever, I thought you were going to trust him” I spoke to Tammy the night before the barbeque at Brian’s house. I had told her then that I was about to surrender to Matt, leaving every insecurity behind. “We were, I met his parents last week. I was shitting myself, scared as I was, but they were so incredibly nice. Such sweet people” I started to cry again, with my relationship with Matt out the door, it meant that I wasn’t going to see those people again, I would be meeting his sister tomorrow. Not going to happen either. Would he go to the hotel with that blonde?

Tammy handed me a cup of tea and a box of tissues. “What went wrong?” I sobbed “We were at this club... we were dancing and we were so damn turned on by each other, that he asked me to meet him at a quiet spot” I felt my cheeks flush “He went ahead.... I.... I followed him” I need to keep talking, I wouldn’t get it out if I stopped now. “When I came to the spot we were meeting, there was a blonde by his side, he was kissing her” At this point I was crying so hard, I could barely get the words out. Tammy pulled me towards her, softly stroking my back. “I ran out, Brian followed me and went back to my house with me. That is when I called you. I packed my suitcase and here I am” I took a deep breath, trying to stop my sobbing. But the silent tears kept streaming down my face.

We were quiet for a while. “Does anyone know where you are?” I shook my head “No, I haven’t told anyone, not even Brian. I wanted him to be able to be completely honest with Matt when he had to tell him he didn’t know where I was. I just hope Brian holds his promise and is a friend to Matt. Can you imagine me breaking Avenged Sevenfold up? I could never forgive myself.” “I can’t tell you what to do and I won’t, but I do think you should let them know you are safe. They are your friends, they don’t deserve the worry about you being safe on top of everything else.” Maybe she was right, but for now the message to Arin will have to do.

We sat next to each other, alone with our own thoughts “Has he called?” I nodded “Several times, I got a few messages too. Begging for forgiveness, asking me where I am, asking me to come back, telling me it is al one big misunderstanding” I saw the pitying look in her eyes “Don’t you want to hear what he has to say?”
“I can’t Tammy, I really can’t. He will have a perfectly good explanation, and then, in a few months, I will find out he has someone else behind my back for weeks.”
“You don’t have to give in to him, you could just listen to what he has to say? You are miserable. Call him, let him explain. At least try to find peace, because if you don’t talk to him, you will never have your answers and you will always wonder”
“If I talk to him, he will win me back. I just know. I’m hurt, I never been this hurt before, but I can’t even hate him.” I buried my nose in the sweater, inhaling his scent. “I still love him. I miss him like crazy”

Arin’s POV
A few days had passed, I didn’t hear anything from Izzie anymore. I was actually bummed by it, I hated the fact this hadn’t worked out as I thought it would. Rye texted me every day to ask me if I heard something. It felt bad to disappoint her every single time. It wasn’t about her, I mean, it was hard to speak the words every time, proving that I was wrong.

We weren’t at Izzie’s house anymore. At least, not all at once. Matt stayed there, he just wouldn’t move. We had a rotation system which made sure Matt was never alone, there were always two or three of us there, making sure he would eat and drink and got out of the house once in a while. I know I hadn’t been part of this group for a very long time, but it was amazing to see how everyone effortlessly moved in to protect the one that was hurt. We all just wished we could do something.

Liz and Lynn were trying to find more information on Tammy, but unfortunately they couldn’t find anything. Even though Tammy was kind of a famous writer, she kept her private life to herself.

All of us were taking into account that Matt could not take anything at this moment. Even Johnny and Nessa, who were like always joking around, kept every smart remark to themselves. Brian was almost always there too, he missed Izzie real bad and we all never really knew what to do with him. It was one big hot mess and I swear nobody had any idea how this could ever be fixed. If we only could find Izzie, if we could only make her listen. We could all vouch for Matt.

I was on my way to Izzie’s house for my “shift”, when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I got it out and looked at the caller ID. “Izzie! How are you? You got us all so worried!” An unfamiliar voice answered. “Hi Arin, this is Tammy, Izzie’s friend? She is with me.” I had to regain myself “Yes. Yes, I know. Is she all right?” I heard Tammy sigh on the other end of the line “If you mean is her life in danger? No, her life is not in danger, but if you ask me about anything else. No, she is not okay, far from okay. She is sleeping, crying, or crying during sleeping. She holds on to that sweatshirt as if it’s the air she needs to breathe to stay alive. She can’t let go like this.” I pulled my car over, I need all my attention to this conversation.

“Tammy, She can’t let go, she has to hold on, she has to listen to Matt. Everything can be okay again, nothing happened.” I was taking my chance with Tammy, I mean, I didn’t know her at all, but apparently she cared about Izzie too, why would she call me otherwise? “What do you mean, nothing happened?” Tammy asked me. I quickly told her about Tess. “Oh, Arin, we need to fix this, Izzie is miserable” I agreed “Matt too, he hasn’t left her house since it all happened, he barely comes out of the bed. We are taking turns watching him”
“So they are both miserable without any good reason? Maybe it’s time you come over here, Arin. Please promise me you won’t bring Matt, we have to ease her into this, we need a plan” Tammy and I talked for a little while longer, and we decided I would take the first flight out.

I immediately thought of Rye, she needed to come too, so we would have two different people, telling the same story, Rye is one of her oldest friends, she must be able to convince Izzie to come back with us. So I called her.

“Rye, pack a bag for a few days, we are going to get Izzie. Where are you? Yes. Okay, don’t tell anyone. Just say you have a family crisis or something. Yes. I will see you in half an hour”

Next thing on the agenda was getting a replacement for my “shift”. I made another call “Johnny? Can you go over to Matt’s? I’m really sorry, but there is a family crisis. I have to get over there for a few days.” I wasn’t lying. They were my family, and there was a crisis. I quickly made my way home to pack a bag and pick up Rye. Let’s fix this.

Izzie’s POV
Tammy was coming into my room “I think it’s time for you to get cleaned up. Get out of that sweatpants of yours and put that sweater aside. It has been almost a week now, and being in normal clothes will help you get into a normal state of mind again” I looked at her surprised, where the hell was this coming from? “If you go shower and put some normal clothes on, I will let you read the first 5 chapters of my new book” I didn’t really feel like getting dressed, but the thought of pre-reading Tammy’s book was tempting. It would most certainly get my mind of things, her stories were that good. “Okay, okay, you always know how to trigger me. Prepare them for me and make me a big cup of tea, while I get showered and dressed” I got out of bed “That’s my girl, see you in a bit”

I took a really hot shower, I loved the prickling of the hot water on my skin. It made me feel alive. Unfortunately it made me think of the night of the benefit when Matt and I... I shook my head. No. I took a jeans out of my suitcase and my new favourite shirt of the Hulk. I wanted to put Matt’s sweater over it, but it wasn’t that cold, so I decided to leave it in my room, but not before hugging it really close one last time.

I entered the living room to find Tammy’s “reading chair” all prepared for me. I loved my own reading chair, but Tammy’s was a very good second. There were big pillows in it, a little blanket on the chair back and a cup of hot, steaming tea on the table next to it. Next to the cup of tea was the one thing that would make me really happy at this moment. A pile of crisp white paper, with black letters, and the title of the new book on the frontpage.

Tammy was nowhere to be seen as I settled into my chair. I pulled my legs up, got my cup of tea in my hand and picked up the “book”. I saw the dedication on the second page and I got tears in my eyes, as I saw my name there, she had been planning this all along “To my dear friend Izzie, who made me write my first book and finding someone to publish it, but above all, because she is the strongest person I know” I put away the pages, I didn’t want them to get all smudged and found Tammy in the kitchen “You are the best, Tammy, so sweet of you to make the dedication now I’m here” Tammy smiled “You got it wrong sweetie, I already had the dedication in, and it would have been a surprise, but I thought you could use something like this. I mean it” I hugged her tightly “Thank you, now I’m going back to the chair and read!” for the first time in days, a genuine smile came over my face.

As I walked to the chair, I heard the doorbell ring. I decided not to pay any attention to it, I had more important things to do, I had a book to read. I settled in again and only heard the muffled voice of the person that was at the door. I picked up the pages again and I started reading, I only looked up briefly when I heard the door open. I hardly looked at who was coming in as I looked back to the pages.

It was just then that I realized what I saw and I shot my head back up “Arin! What are you doing here?”

Notes

Allright guys, this story will slowly be coming to an end... I'm writing the last chapters this weekend... Don't worry, there will at least be a chapter 55, so you guys have a few chapters to go, but then it's goodbye to this story :(

Love you alllllll!!! <3