Am I too Lost to be Saved?

~Jenna's Point of View~

I've been in here for at least an hour while Anna and the baby slept. Lucky for me, she didn't share a room with him, so I was in here alone while he snoozed.

I looked down at him while he dreamed. I wonder what visions went through his mind, what it was that he saw while he slept. Did he remember anything of his life in her womb? Did he hear her voice in his sleep? Did he feel her love?

I let my eyes drift down to the gun in my hand. What was I really here to do? Is this really what I wanted? I reached into the baby's crib and hesitantly stroked his cheek with my fingers. I finally let the tears fall. How different would it have been? Why didn't I get my chance at happiness? What did I do to deserve this?

I heard a creaking noise and turned quickly to see what it was that made the noise.
"It was nothing," I thought. "Its all in your head."
I turned my attention back to the beautiful baby boy in the crib, stroking the soft skin of his face, while the weight of the gun in my other hand grew as the seconds flew by.
_____________________________________________________________________________

~Anna's Point of View~

"Just call the cops now," I texted Meghan. "I don't care how close you are. They will be here quickly. Please."

I peeked around the door frame again, making sure that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. Jenna. Jenna was in my baby's room, with a fucking gun in her hand! What the Hell is going on?!
My phone vibrated in my hand:
"They're on the way. Zack and I should be there real soon." -Meghan

Fuck this...
I stepped into the room quietly and hugged myself.
I took a deep breath to steady my heartbeat. "Jenna," I asked quietly, so I wouldn't startle her.
Jenna turned to look at me, her cheeks red and tear streaked, her bottom lip trembling.

"Hi Anna," she whispered.
"What are you doing here," I asked her. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Jenna stood there quietly, she took the gun into her other hand, and wiped at her cheeks.
"I- I don't know," she said, starting to sob. "I don't know what's going on in my head. I mean, I came here with a clear intention of hurting you, but I can't. I can't do it. And seeing him made me want to-" Jenna stopped speaking, a sob tearing through her throat.
"Jenna," I said, stepping toward her. I reached out, but she raised the gun to me.
"No Anna," she cried. "Don't touch me, please. I can't stand it. The thought of having you that close. I did it once, and I won't do it again."
"What are you talking about Jenna," I asked her forcefully. "What is going on?"
"HE LOVES YOU ANNA," she yelled at me. Ezra began to cry, startled by the sudden noise."Don't you understand how much that kills me? How much it hurts to see you living my dream? Especially since I fucking tried. I tried so fucking hard, and it just... It just didn't..."

Jenna fell to her knees, lowering the gun, sobbing her eyes out.
"You- You love Johnny," I asked quietly. "I- I don't understand Jenna. Please tell me. I want to help you sweetie."
"No," she chuckled through her tears. "No, not Johnny. Zacky. I love Zacky, but he doesn't love me..."
"Wh-what? Zacky doesn-"
"Yes," she said, cutting me off. "Yes, he does. He just never said anything. He knows that you love Johnny, and he loves his brother. He respects him. But that doesn't change the fact that he no longer loves me, and that you are still in the person I've always dreamed of being."

Jenna stood up slowly, lowering the gun to her side, and turned her back to me to look over Ezra. I took this moment to text Meghan quickly.
"The door must be open. Come in quietly."

"Mommy," Jenna whispered.

I looked up to see Jenna looking down at my crying son. We stood there while she stared at him for the longest time. It had to have been about 10 minutes before I finally started thinking about what she had said...
"You wanted to have a-,"
"I did," Jenna said, starting to sob again. "But I couldn't. That was taken from me too. My p-poor baby..."

"Jenna!"
Zacky's voice from behind us made us both jump.
"What the fuck are you doing, Goddamn it," he yelled.
Jenna brought her gun up, aiming it at me. "I'm not doing anything, Baker," she hissed.
"What's that then, huh? A fucking toy," He spat. "Tell me you aren't feeding her any fucking bullshi-"
"No Zacky," Jenna yelled. "Tell her! Fucking tell her! Ever since the day you first fucking saw her you touched me only once in attempts to make things seem like they hadn't changed. But you know damn well that didn't fix shit! Tell her!"
"Tell her what Zack," Meghan asked, pissed off.
"Jenna thinks I love Anna," he said, clenching his fists. "But it's absurd. I can't love her."
"But it's possible," Jenna said. "You can't, but you do."

Zacky lowered his head, and took a deep breath.
"What made you hate me," Jenna asked, tears flowing down her cheeks heavily.
"I don't hate you, Jenna," Zacky said, stepping forward, but stopping when Jenna turned the gun to him. Zee raised his hands before speaking again, "I don't hate you Jenna. It's just that we stopped trying and I-,"
"No," Jenna yelled. "You stopped trying Zachary! I kept pushing forward! I was pregnant with your baby!"
Zacky's eyes went wide, he looked as if he couldn't remember how to breathe.
"What," he asked, almost inaudibly.
Jenna began to cry harder, unable to speak.
"Wh-when was this," Zacky asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"Not long ago," Jenna managed to say. "I lost it. I lost it, and you didn't even know. I wasn't even able to tell you."

Just as Zacky was about to step towards Jenna again, she turned the gun to herself, aiming it to her head. Meghan turned and ran away from the door, and I began to panick.
"Jenna," I cried. "Don't! Please don't! I'm begging you!"
Jenna shook her head slowly, unable to breathe from crying so hard. Zacky reached to her, tears falling from his eyes also.
"Please Jenna," Zacky begged. "Don't do this, please. I'm so sorry."
"No Zacky," she sobbed. "It's too fucking late. I-,"

A gunshot blasted from the door, and Jenna fell, the gun clattering away from her hand.

Notes

I'm sorry I haven't been updating! But things are slowing down with work and now I'm here with more time to write! Thanks for waiting. Just a few more chapters left to this story though, so stay tuned;)