*** EDITING *** The Only Half I Need - {Synyster Gates - Book 3}

Brian groaned and gritted his teeth so he wouldn’t bite his tongue off. Michelle’s hand held vise-like onto his, her fingernails digging deep into his skin. Her beautiful face was distorted by pain and frustration. She just wanted it to be over and done with. She wanted this incredible pain to stop and just go to sleep. Sweat and tears ran down her face, her hair was a mess and she had slowly lost all her dignity. There was nothing left but this sheer endless agony that washed over her in heavy waves, making her curse the world and especially Brian for putting this baby inside her body.
“Come on, baby girl. You can do this. Push.” Brian said softly and brushed Michelle’s wet bangs out of her sweaty face. He was suffering with her but at the same time he felt so proud - proud of Michelle and her incredible strength and of his son. God, he was a father. He, Brian Haner Jr, a.k.a. Synyster Gates, a.k.a. serial womanizer, was about to become a dad. He would have never thought that something like this would happen to his 32 year old self.
“It’s almost done. Two more and your beautiful boy will be with us. Now … push!” The midwife said from somewhere between the woman’s legs and pulled him back to reality. Groaning and whimpering in pain Michelle channeled once more her strength and pushed as hard as she could. Why was it taking so long? Why couldn’t her son just … pop out or something? She loved this little human with all her heart but she felt like he was killing her, tearing her up from the inside. Michelle gritted her teeth and groaned in pain as she pushed with all she had. She was clinging to Brian’s hand as if it was the only thing that kept her alive. And it actually was the source of her strength. Feeling his warm, calloused hand wrapped around her cold and sweaty one helped her stay sane through this seemingly endless torture. Brian was the man she had loved for half of her life. She had given him everything, especially her hand in marriage. Yes, they were divorced, she had accepted that. Just like the fact that he was with some random German girl. But knowing that he was here with her, witnessing how their son was coming into this world filled her with so much happiness and relief, if not even love. Michelle loved him still. But how could she not?
“Ok, one last time. It’s almost over, come on.” The midwife said.
“Almost there baby girl.” Brian kissed Michelle’s forehead.
“One … two … three!” They counted her in and with one last push she felt her baby slip into this world. Through her clouded senses she waited for a sign that everything was ok. That’s when she hear a light whimper and then her boy started to cry from the top of its lungs.
“Welcome, handsome fella.” The midwife smiled as she wrapped the baby in come blue sheets and came to the side of his mother’s bed. “Here you go. But I’ll need him back in a couple of minutes for the check-ups.” She smiled as she placed the bundle into Michelle’s arms.
“Hello, baby.” Michelle carefully held her son in her arms. Immediately he calmed down as he heard his mother’s voice and hiccupped a bit. With a pale and shaky hand Michelle carefully caressed the red and wrinkled skin of her baby boy, that was still covered in blood and some kind of white slime. But she didn’t care. All she could do was cry happy tears and feel her heart explode from the endless amount of love that was pouring out to this little human in her arms.
Brian stood there in absolute awe. He looked down at this tiny little, beet red, grumpy looking monkey with a lot of dark hair on his small head and he felt his heart soar. He could feel how this unconditional love and happiness was filling him up and he knew that he could never ever leave his son alone in this cruel world. Brian smiled down at his son and lightly touched his tiny hand with his index finger, only to have him wrap his little fingers around it. He couldn’t help it, Brian gasped and his heart was racing in his chest. Seeing this tiny hand holding onto him made him well up and realize what a precious gift this baby was.
“I’m really sorry to interrupt. But I need to get your baby to the check-ups. You will get him back right after.” She smiled and held out her hands. Reluctantly Michelle handed her the bundle, but not without kissing her son goodbye. Brian felt hurt when the tiny hand let go of his finger and he watched her leave with his crying baby.
“Wow…” Michelle whispered, tears stinging in her eyes.
“Yeah.” Brian said softly, slowly turning back to his ex-wife. Her skin was pale and looked unhealthy in the cold hospital light. Her hair was a mess and still sweaty, her brown eyes bloodshot. He sat on the side of her bed and took her hands, kissing them lightly.
“Thank you, Michelle. Thank you so much.” He whispered. When a soft smile spread on Michelle’s lips all he could do was smile right back at her. “You did an amazing job. I’m so proud of you. God … he is so beautiful.”
“He is perfect.” She smiled. “And I thank you too.”
“Me? I did nothing, sweetheart.”
“Yes, you did.” Brian looked at her confused so she continued. “No matter the circumstances, you gave me this precious little boy, Brian. Without you I wouldn’t have been pregnant and without you I would have given up today. You being here means so much to me. Thank you.” She whispered the last part, a small tear rolling down her cheek.
“Oh baby girl.” He wiped that tear away with his thumb. “I promised you I’d be there for you and our son. I know I haven’t been there from the start and god knows I have been an idiot about the whole situation but …” Brian took her hands again. “… I love this baby so much. I already did when he was inside your womb but now that he is here, holding my finger … God, Michelle, this feeling … I … I can’t even …”
“There are no words, I know.” She smiled and cupped his cheek. “You are going to be the best daddy any son could ever ask for.”
“And you the best mother in the whole wide world.” They smiled at one another in pure happiness and joy. They weren’t a couple anymore but the bond that was now between them didn’t need any relationship status or legal documents. They were mother and father – that was something that would always keep them bound together.
After a while two nurses came to take Michelle to some check-ups and then back to her room. In the meantime Brian went to call everyone that he had on his contact list in his phone. And that was a long list. As happy and proud he was he decided to send a text to all his friends and acquaintances and only called his family and brothers from other mothers. He couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear and finally understood what Matt has gone through two years ago, when little River was born.
Everyone was super happy and congratulated him massively. They demanded pics and the immediate notification when it was alright to see Michelle and the new addition to the Avenged family. They also asked for the baby’s name. With a nervous chuckle Brian had to admit more than ten times that Michelle and him hadn’t had the chance to talk about this. He had a specific idea but of course the mother of his child had to agree with it.
When he came out of the flower shop next to the hospital Brian was just hanging up on his buddy Jeremy, co-owner from Sullen Art Collective. He stepped out into the burning sun and smiled. Everything was different about today. The sun shone brighter, the air smelled fresher, the people were even nicer. This was truly a day of joy. Nothing, really nothing, could change that.
Brian walked back inside with the bouquet of colorful gerberas in his hand. He had a cuddle teddy bear at home that he wanted to give his son. Smiling at the prospect of making his son happy he walked through the entrance hall and was about to pass the waiting area when he noticed the news flash on the TV.

“A horrible shooting shuts down LAX. LAPD assumes that the shooter wanted retaliation for the innocent death of his wife five years ago. He has shot eight people with a 4mm Walther CO2. Only one of them, a young woman, hardly survived and now fighting for her life in a hospital in downtown Hollywood.”

The news anchor showed pictures of police, SWAT-guys and ambulances around the building of LAX with thousands of people waiting outside. Brian shook his head. He couldn’t believe that someone would do such a thing. Especially at the airport, that was packed with police and innocent people. Travelers … like Katie was one. With his heart stopping for a second Brian realized that his girlfriend was leaving the states today. He didn’t know when but the shooting was this morning. With a slight panic creeping up into his guts, turning his stomach into knots, he speed-dialed his lover’s number.

“Hey, this is Katie’s voicemail! I’m in Europe right now, playing babysitter for some hilarious bad boys. I’m probably cleaning after them or trying to get their technicians to do stuff, so I can’t answer your call. But leave a message after the beep and I’ll contact you asap. *chuckles* Love you.” – *Beep*

“Hey babe, it’s me, Brian. I just wanted to check in on you. See if you had a save trip. Hearing that your voicemails answers me straight away I’m assuming you’re still on the plane. I hope, you have a great time, baby. Let me know when you arrived safely. I love you … oh and … Michelle gave birth about an hour ago. God, baby, you gotta see him. He is so beautiful … alright … enjoy tour and … be safe. … Bye.” He hung up and looked back to the TV. Knowing that his girl’s voicemail answered him immediately made his heart calm down again. She was either up in the air or already overseas with no reception or something. Katie managed to not be involved in this horrible scene and he was thankful for that.
With a relieved sigh he went back to Michelle’s room. She looked a lot better now. Her hair was washed and dried, she had on her pajama and she was cuddled up into a soft pillow and a light blanket, her eyes closed. Careful not to wake her Brian filled a vase with water in the attached bathroom and put the flowers into it before setting it down on her nightstand. He sat on the rocking chair to her bedside and looked at her for a while. The signs of an exhausting labor were still visible on her face and body in general but she still had this certain glow. She looked happy and peaceful, satisfied with the way her life was going. Brian admired that a lot. He had always been more of a skeptical person, especially after Jimmy had died. Jimmy – just thinking that his very best friend wouldn’t be able to get to know his son was piercing his scarred heart painfully. His son would have to grow up without his crazy uncle Jimmy who would get him into a hell lot of trouble. Just like River, he would have to live with only stories and memories, pictures and footage. Knowing that hurt a lot and Brian was slowly drifting into a depressed place when a light knock pulled him back to reality.
He turned around and saw the wooden door being opened. Two nurses came inside quietly, one of them pushing a small bed in front of her. While the younger nurse was checking on Michelle, Brian was watching the other setting up the bed at the foot of the bed. She chuckled when she noticed the hopeful look on the father’s face and picked up the little bundle. The beautiful baby boy was now cleaned and was wearing a blue onesie with a duck on the front. In addition he was wrapped in a soft light blue blanket that kept him warm as well.
“You have a very beautiful son, Mr Haner.” The nurse smiled and carefully handed him the baby, lightly adjusting the position of his arms.
“Thank you very much.” He smiled brightly at her and then they left. He looked down at his son in his arms and smiled. He leaned in and lightly kissed his small forehead.
“I love you so much, little man. So incredibly much.” He whispered as he lightly rocked back and forth. “You have no idea in what kind of world you just came into but I promise you that you will always be safe. You have a beautiful mother, a wonderful second mom and so many aunts and uncles. I will have to watch out or they’ll spoil you beyond imagination. Just like your granpa, that old dude.” He chuckled. “You’re going to love him. And don’t worry about pranking him. I’ll show you how to do it.” Brian smiled when his precious baby boy yawned a bit. His eyes were still closed but the cutest feature was probably the amount of dark hair. He had so much! And it was so soft. Carefully Brian let his long tattooed fingers run through it and when he pulled his hand back he saw that a bit of hair was sticking out. Biting his bottom lip to hold in a chuckle he styled his son’s hair in a funny way and took a picture with his phone. But his son wasn’t liking that at all. To his father’s amusement baby Haner was making a very grumpy face which only made Brian to take another picture. That’s when the baby started to whimper and wiggle in his arm.
“Aw I’m sorry buddy.” He kissed his forehead again.
“You are a meanie.” The soft voice of Michelle was reaching his ears and he looked up smiling. The mother of his child was awake and sitting up lightly.
“I know but my dad is worse so I better prepare him for it.” Brian explained making her chuckle.
“He is not even 3 hours old and you start educating him on the insanity of our family.”
“It’s never too early to do so.” He grinned and caressed his son’s hand, making him grab his finger again.
“Can I hold him?” Michelle whispered, making Brian look up at her.
“Of course, honey. Here you go.” With one last kiss on the top of his son’s messy hair he carefully placed him in the arms of his mother. She felt absolutely amazing with this little bundle close to her chest. This was her baby. Her beautiful baby boy.
“I have already informed everyone. Val and the rest of the crew are probably coming over tomorrow or the day after.” Brian smiled as he sat next to her on the bed, his left arm propped up on the other side of her legs.
“I can’t wait to show him off. God, Brian … can you believe how stunning he is?” Michelle said softly.
“It’s a miracle.” He smiled. “A nameless one though.” Michelle looked up at that.
“About that … I … I actually have made a decision a couple of days back.” She said softly, with a light blush on her face.
“Oh … ok. What is it?” He asked, looking into her eyes. She reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly.
“Just tell me if you like it or not. We can always change it.” She said and Brian nodded. With a deep breath and a glance to her baby she found the strength to say it.
“Jamie. Jamie Owen Haner.”

Notes

Sorry for the delay, lovelies <3 Life was pretty busy.
Anywho, let me know what you think. I really had fun writing this chapter and it made me wish for Brian and Michelle to make a perfect and beautiful baby for real xD