Katie’s POV

I jumped when I heard tumbling and a heavy thud from behind me. I was so confused and scared of what was happening that I huddled closer to Brian, who I wanted to calm down in the first place. I could feel the heat of his skin beneath my palm that was resting on his chest and his arms around my waist held me protectively close to his body.
“Dude, what the fuck?” I heard Zacky ask in disbelief. This was more or less what I was thinking. I had only caught bits of Brian’s argument but when I heard his opponent calling my name I couldn’t believe my ears. Jeremy had been the last person I had expected to show up in this place.
When I turned around I saw Matt slowly getting up from tackling Jeremy to the hard wooden floor of Brian’s entrance hall.
“You come here, unannounced. Who do you think you are?” Matt growled, “How stupid can you be?”
To be honest, seeing Matt this angry, with his muscles flexed and his wild face and his shaved head; that was really scary. Deep down I knew that I didn’t have to fear him but my hands unconsciously tightened around Brian’s arms. That’s when I noticed that he was just as tensed and ready to fight as Matt and I guess all the other guys in the room were. Seriously, I had no idea what was going on.
“Me? Being stupid?” Jeremy asked as he slowly got up, holding his side, “After everything that happened to her you lot are expecting me to let her run into another disaster just like that?”
“This is none of your business.” Zacky said, his fists clenched.
“Oh hell it is!” Jeremy yelled, making me and Val jump. “He will break her! He will build her up only to crush her heart once and for all!” He pointed at Brian, “I cannot and I will not let that happen.” He shook his head turning away from Matt and Zacky towards me.
“Baby, I beg you. Come with me. Come with me and I swear you’ll be the happiest you’ll ever be.” He held out his hand, looking at me with those beautiful eyes full of love and concern. But before I could even consider taking Jeremy’s hand Brian pushed me behind him.
“You fucking bastard.” He growled, “Who do you think you are?”
“I am the best for her.”
“The best for her? How can you fucking know what’s best for her when you are here harassing her into a life she doesn’t want?”
“I know what’s best for her because I have been there from the beginning!”
“Oh have you now.”
“Yes, I have and I know her better than you ever could.”
“You have no fucking idea what she needs.” Brian said dangerously low as he and Jeremy got into each other’s faces.
My head was starting to spin the more these two men were arguing back and forth. At some point Matt and Allie chipped into that discussion, heating up the whole situation.
“Guys, what are you all talking about?” I asked gently.
“You just made everything worse by showing up here! Can’t you see how confused she is?” Brian pointed at me while accusing Jeremy.
“Guys, really …” I tried again but no one was listening.
“You lot haven’t got the guts to tell her the truth back then. Tell me, what has changed?” Jeremy said.
“What truth? What didn’t you tell me?” I asked once more but it seemed like I was trapped in a bubble where no one could hear or see me. My headache came back, making me feel dizzy and sick. My eyes were watering because I felt so helpless and lonely in this crowded room. All of them were concerned for my well-being but no one actually cared to ask me about my feelings.
The longer I stood there, watching them argue about who should have more control over my life and my feelings, the more I came to understand something very important. The person they were describing as me seemed like to be depended on so many things, especially the opinions of her friends and family. She sounded like a little girl, not able to stand up for herself, to take control and deal with the consequences. And feeling those small tears leaping over the lower lid of my eye only proved that I still was this girl. But I was sick and tired of being helpless and scared. I was sick and tired of people making decisions for myself. And I was sick and tired of having no respect for my own person. That moment, when I came to realize that this whole argument in front of me was my fault, I felt myself change. Right then and there I grew up and took matters in my own hand.
I grabbed my purse and my sunglasses and as I walked past the group of angry people I took Val’s hand and nodded towards the open front door. With a frown on her face she followed me outside.
“What’s wrong?” She asked confused as she hurried after me.
“Can you take me to the city center?” I asked looking for her and Matt’s car.
“Uhm sure.” She said and pushed a small button on the remote on her keychain, opening the car for us. As we walked up to it Brian and the others must have noticed us leaving.
“Katie! Where are you going?” He called out. When I turned around I saw them all standing there: Brian, Jeremy, Allie, Matt and Zacky. All of them pretty confused on what I was doing.
“I don’t know.” I said and climbed into the car. Val only shrugged her shoulders at our friends and got in the car as well. We drove off, leaving a confused group of people behind us.

The car ride was silent but I could sense Val constantly glancing over to me so I figured I had to explain myself at least to her right now.
“I had to get out of there. It got too confusing, you know?” I said softly, playing with the strap of my bag.
“Yeah, I totally get that.” She nodded but didn’t say anything else. I sighed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Hm? For what, honey?”
“For everything. This whole … mess. It’s my fault.”
“That’s not tr…”
“Yes, it is!” I cut her off, “And I don’t know why. I have no idea what happened before the accident but somehow I know that my decisions brought me here. And I’m sorry for dragging all of you into it.” I said and we looked at one another as she stopped at a traffic light.
“I want to make this right but most of all I want my life back. And in order to do so I need to get back on my feet. That’s why I needed to get away from Jeremy and Brian and all that fighting.”
“I understand.” Val said, “But you can’t just run away from them. You need to be open to them, especially Brian. There was not a day that he didn’t think of you. He needs you.”
“But what about what I need?” I asked as we approached the city center. “This might be selfish but I’m the one without a past and a future here.”
Val raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Guilt bubbled up in my stomach as she took several turns before parking the car.
“Come on, let’s get a bite to eat.” She suggested and got out of the car. Silently I followed her to that small restaurant across the street. We got seated immediately and ordered some refreshments. They served them fairly quickly and took our food order as well. Then we were for ourselves once more.
“The way I see it, your past and your future are right here. You just have to grab it.” Val said and took a sip of her drink.
“It’s not that easy…” I started, looking down to my hands.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m suffering from amnesia?” I frowned, feeling a bit annoyed by the tone of her voice.
“Are you scared of the truth?”
“Of course I am. Not because of the truth itself but of not knowing if it’s really the truth.” Val looked at me irritated.
“What I mean is, from the moment I woke up in the hospital Jeremy has been by my side, taking care of me. I have no reason not to trust him. Then I get these dreams and flashbacks of Brian and me. My brain starts to question certain things but I can’t explain why. On my here I find this letter from Brian that is filled with so many confusing things and no one is there to answer my questions. Don’t you get it?” I leaned forward, “I can never be certain of the truth being the truth. I have to blindly trust one side – Jeremy’s or Brian’s.”
“Your doubts towards Jeremy’s truth brought you here though.” Val looked at me challenging, playing with the straw of her drink. My fingertips touched the cool surface of the glass in front of me; bits of water running down to the wooden table top.
“They did. And I have to admit that I feel different with Brian than I do with Jeremy. It’s like a deep feeling of …”
“… coming home.” We said at the same time. Val smiled at me and I could read in her eyes that she totally understood.
“In the end you alone have to decide who to trust and what to believe. Just know that, whatever happens I’ll always be here for you.” She smiled and held out her hand for me. I took it as I returned her smile.
“Thank you. That really means a lot to me.”
“No problem. That’s what family is for.” She winked at me but before I could say anything the waiter came to serve our food.

After Val and I had spent some more time talking she drove us back to Brian’s house. She parked her car in front of it and squeezed my hand before climbing out of it. I took a deep breath and followed her, determined to go ahead with my plan.
“Alright girl, here we go.” Val smiled and together we entered the house. To our surprise it was silent and it seemed like everyone had left. But as we walked in further we found Matt and Brian on the porch, lying in the sun close to the pool, with a beer in their hands.
“Hey boys.” Val smiled and sat on Matt’s lap.
“Hello princess.” He gave her a sweet kiss. “You ok?” He asked softly and smiled when she nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Yeah, just needed some girl time.” Val said and smiled at me. Matt turned to look at me and smiled. I returned it and looked over to Brian who looked at me with a mix of relief and confusion.
“Well, I was just waiting for you to come and pick me up.” Matt said. “Let’s go and see baby Jamie and Riv.” Val and he got up.
“Alright. I see you guys around.” I said smiling. My heart was racing and I was a bit nervous about what I had to do next.
“Sure thing.” Matt smiled and hugged me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. Val and I hugged while the guys said their goodbyes.
“Give Jamie a kiss from me. I’ll see him tomorrow.” Brian said and then they left, closing the front door gently behind themselves.
No one of us said anything for a while. Brian was waiting for me to say something because it was obviously my turn to explain things. However, I had a hard time finding the strength to say what I had to say although Val had encouraged me quite a lot beforehand.
“I actually don’t know where to start.” I said softly and sat down on the deck chair Matt had occupied earlier on.
“Am I scaring you?” Brian suddenly asked, irritating me a lot.
“Excuse me?” I frowned.
“Am I scaring you? It’s a simple question.” He said, still looking out to the beach.
“I know that. But why would you ask me that?”
Brian stayed quiet this time. I was confused and wondering what had brought him to think like that.
“Did Jeremy make you think that?” I asked after a while but Brian didn’t say anything. Only his hands clutched the bottle of beer tightly. That’s when I knew it had something to do with my savior. I came and sat on the edge of his deck chair. Without hesitation I took the bottle and put it on the ground and then took his hands. I caressed his tattooed knuckles and kissed them softly.
“I’m not afraid of you, Brian. How can I?” I smiled and looked at him. His eyes were filled with longing and gentle love.
“Good. I want you to know that I will do anything to keep you save and make you happy. Whatever you need, you’ll have it.” He said and brushed the back of his hands over my cheek. Feeling those sparks and holding his gaze woke up so many butterflies in my stomach and I heard what Val had said to me earlier in the restaurant: “Listen to your heart and your gut. These two are the best judge you can get right now.” And she was right.
“Well, there is something I need.” I said gently. Brian sat up straight and held my hands.
“What is honey?”
“I don’t want to seem rude or selfish …” I started but he cut me off.
“Don’t worry about that. It is all about you and what you need to get your life back. So … spill it.” His smile actually made me smile too.
“Well, I have decided that it’s best for all parties when I have my own place for now.”
“But … why?” He asked me with a sad frown on his beautiful face.
“Because I have to build up a new life for myself before I can fully commit to finding the answers to all my questions. Right now I’m like leaf in the wind. I can’t tell right from wrong when you or Jeremy or someone else is telling me from the past. I want to be able to realize the truth for what it is when I come across it.”
“But … I wouldn’t lie to you, baby. I swore to you that I would help you. No matter the costs.”
“I know, Brian, I know. But it’s my heart telling me to go and start anew before approaching that subject.” I explained and held his hands tightly.
“I can’t lose you again.” He said, looking at our hands, kissing the top of mine.
“You won’t. I mean … you have to sweep me off my feet again.” I chuckled and lightly nudged his shoulder. “Remember, we have to create new memories for me.”
I got up and picked up my purse. “Val is helping me with finding an apartment so I will stay with them until I got lucky.” Brian followed me inside. He didn’t say a word but before I could open the front door he spun me around to hug me tightly.
I couldn’t help myself. I inhaled his scent deeply and clung onto him, with my arms around his neck. I felt his lips softly kissing the side of my neck and his fingertips slipping under the hem of my shirt, touching the soft skin of my lower back.
After a while he pulled back and we exchanged numbers. I put my phone back in my purse and he pushed his car keys into my hand.
“It has always been your car.” He smiled and kissed my hand that he closed around the keys. “And always remember: You are mine and I am yours.” I cupped his cheeks and smiled too.
“You are mine and I am yours.”
He opened the door for me and I walked up to his car. I knew that saying goodbye now was just as hard for him as it was for me. But we had a very long way ahead of us until we could live happily every after.

Notes

Miracles do happen :D
Please enjoy the new chapter and let me know what you think.