Ghouls
Chapter 37
Brian’s POV
I hadn’t seen Lauren since the show started and as I wandered around backstage, I was trying to find any kind of evidence that she was here. It wasn’t until I got to the green room that I overheard Cameron on the phone talking about her. He said something about how she’d gone AWOL again and how he needed whoever was on the line to come out and help him. He ended the call with a ‘thanks bro’ and a ‘love you’ so I guess it was the other, older brother Cam and Lau had both mentioned numerous times, Mikey, I think his name was.
As I stood mulling over what I’d heard, I jumped as Cam opened the green room door; finding me abnormally close, giving me a confused look, “you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah.. yeah.. you seen Lauren?” I asked, already really knowing the answer.
“Nope; She’s run off. No one’s seen her since the show started,” he said bluntly. His face dropped from stern to understanding though as he continued, “I just called our brother, Mikey, to join us; we’re worried about her, y’know? All the weird stuff that’s been going on with her... He’s wanted to come up and see her for weeks but he’s only now got the time off work...”
“Great timing,” I said sarcastically, though I could understand the difficulty the brothers were facing; we were all worried about her.
“I know right... anyway, I better go and find Jade; let her know,” he smiled weakly.
Anyone could see he was hurting; everyone could see that Lauren was losing herself; it made us all worried for her safety and for Cameron; they were close and we could all sympathise with him.
“Okay dude,” I smiled and pat his back as he moved past, leaving me in the doorway of the green room alone and wondering where on Earth she could be.
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Lauren’s POV
Since Mama Meg had left me, my memory was starting to come back; where I’d been, what had caused me to run, what I’d left behind. I soon found myself sat at the booth in the run-down cafe, sobbing quietly. He was getting closer, tearing my life apart more forcefully now. I know the beast that had found itself inside me was not who I wanted. It was not the man that I’d found myself falling in love with. It was the beast. It was Him. Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, He fooled me; taking the form of my lover, allowing me to believe that I loved Him, that I wanted Him.
From what I could remember, He’d never really been inside of me like that before; only in my nightmares had we been so intimate, even then it was only the once and the irony of that was that that nightmare of course consisted of Brian’s on-stage counterpart, Zack... It honestly terrified me that He was getting so much closer; closer than any time before, changing form to fool me into getting close enough to hurt me. The very fact that He was now able to take the form of those closest to me only made me more nervous as to whom else he could be imitating; who else He would destroy my love for... my trust for.
Despite these fears, all I seemed to want was my brother; all of my brothers, to be honest; Mikey, Cameron and Sam. I suddenly missed when we were young; how we used to play without a care; how in-tune we were to each other and how we had each other’s backs, no matter what. A part of me hoped that they would understand it all, because we were so close. Even though so much had happened since our youth, I desperately hoped that that was the same... I hoped they’d stand by me, understand me, help me through this mess that I seemed to create everywhere I went. They’d been there so far, but this kind of mess was new. It was big and confusing, even by my standards...
Much faster than I’d realised, the sun was setting. I’d been sat at this damn cafe all day crying and feeling sorry for myself. The waitress came over and told me I needed to move on, which only made this feeling of emptiness and loneliness even more real. I left quickly but quietly, trying not to gather attention. The warm Florida wind brushed my cheeks which surprised me; I expected to be met with a cold chill but the southern atmosphere caused a welcome heat. I walked the paths of Jacksonville, venturing further into the city centre as the natural light disappeared and the neon lights came to life.
I simply observed the life as I strolled aimlessly, occasionally wondering what it was that my friends were talking about, laughing about, just as the people on these streets were. It made me wonder how they were without me there; whether they noticed, whether they even cared; after all of the crazy shit I’d put their family unit through, whether they may even be glad I was gone. I suspected that maybe Zacky was happy to not have to remind himself of what had happened between us, Jimmy relieved he didn’t have to listen to my, so-say, ‘made up’ stories, even Brian found solitude in ridding himself of my erratic emotions. It hurt to think, but I couldn’t shake the idea that it was true; I’d caused them all so much confusion and upset, it was a wonder they hadn’t excluded me already. That made me glad to be away; to give them the break they needed, the break I needed, in ways. The change of scenery allowed me to think, to see life differently, I guess.
My mind had been wondering for so long that most shops were closing up, most people had emptied the streets; the only ones left were those on their way to a big night out; heading to the local pubs and clubs to drink and dance their problems away. I only wished I could join them; go back to the way I had been and drown my thoughts in cheep, heavy liquor. I hoped I could find some money in my pocket, only to realise that these pants were stolen and were never going to hold any bills.
It was then that I pushed my palms into my coat pockets, finding what felt like money. I pulled out the object and was almost disappointed to find a note; paper. I almost threw it away as junk before curiosity got the better of me and I read the message. It read:
Hi, Kid
There’s a pocket on the inside of this coat with about $50 in it. Use it wisely.
Mama Meg
I quickly found the pocket and inside found the money; about $43; one 10, about five 5’s, and the rest in 1’s. It was clear that money was difficult on the streets but shit, so was my head. I head to the closest pub I could find, ordering enough whiskey shots to get me to at least the point that I’d forget where I was and sure enough, I got drunk enough that all of my pain was a distant memory, I was so damn intoxicated I stopped caring what might happen.
I hadn’t seen Lauren since the show started and as I wandered around backstage, I was trying to find any kind of evidence that she was here. It wasn’t until I got to the green room that I overheard Cameron on the phone talking about her. He said something about how she’d gone AWOL again and how he needed whoever was on the line to come out and help him. He ended the call with a ‘thanks bro’ and a ‘love you’ so I guess it was the other, older brother Cam and Lau had both mentioned numerous times, Mikey, I think his name was.
As I stood mulling over what I’d heard, I jumped as Cam opened the green room door; finding me abnormally close, giving me a confused look, “you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah.. yeah.. you seen Lauren?” I asked, already really knowing the answer.
“Nope; She’s run off. No one’s seen her since the show started,” he said bluntly. His face dropped from stern to understanding though as he continued, “I just called our brother, Mikey, to join us; we’re worried about her, y’know? All the weird stuff that’s been going on with her... He’s wanted to come up and see her for weeks but he’s only now got the time off work...”
“Great timing,” I said sarcastically, though I could understand the difficulty the brothers were facing; we were all worried about her.
“I know right... anyway, I better go and find Jade; let her know,” he smiled weakly.
Anyone could see he was hurting; everyone could see that Lauren was losing herself; it made us all worried for her safety and for Cameron; they were close and we could all sympathise with him.
“Okay dude,” I smiled and pat his back as he moved past, leaving me in the doorway of the green room alone and wondering where on Earth she could be.
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Lauren’s POV
Since Mama Meg had left me, my memory was starting to come back; where I’d been, what had caused me to run, what I’d left behind. I soon found myself sat at the booth in the run-down cafe, sobbing quietly. He was getting closer, tearing my life apart more forcefully now. I know the beast that had found itself inside me was not who I wanted. It was not the man that I’d found myself falling in love with. It was the beast. It was Him. Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, He fooled me; taking the form of my lover, allowing me to believe that I loved Him, that I wanted Him.
From what I could remember, He’d never really been inside of me like that before; only in my nightmares had we been so intimate, even then it was only the once and the irony of that was that that nightmare of course consisted of Brian’s on-stage counterpart, Zack... It honestly terrified me that He was getting so much closer; closer than any time before, changing form to fool me into getting close enough to hurt me. The very fact that He was now able to take the form of those closest to me only made me more nervous as to whom else he could be imitating; who else He would destroy my love for... my trust for.
Despite these fears, all I seemed to want was my brother; all of my brothers, to be honest; Mikey, Cameron and Sam. I suddenly missed when we were young; how we used to play without a care; how in-tune we were to each other and how we had each other’s backs, no matter what. A part of me hoped that they would understand it all, because we were so close. Even though so much had happened since our youth, I desperately hoped that that was the same... I hoped they’d stand by me, understand me, help me through this mess that I seemed to create everywhere I went. They’d been there so far, but this kind of mess was new. It was big and confusing, even by my standards...
Much faster than I’d realised, the sun was setting. I’d been sat at this damn cafe all day crying and feeling sorry for myself. The waitress came over and told me I needed to move on, which only made this feeling of emptiness and loneliness even more real. I left quickly but quietly, trying not to gather attention. The warm Florida wind brushed my cheeks which surprised me; I expected to be met with a cold chill but the southern atmosphere caused a welcome heat. I walked the paths of Jacksonville, venturing further into the city centre as the natural light disappeared and the neon lights came to life.
I simply observed the life as I strolled aimlessly, occasionally wondering what it was that my friends were talking about, laughing about, just as the people on these streets were. It made me wonder how they were without me there; whether they noticed, whether they even cared; after all of the crazy shit I’d put their family unit through, whether they may even be glad I was gone. I suspected that maybe Zacky was happy to not have to remind himself of what had happened between us, Jimmy relieved he didn’t have to listen to my, so-say, ‘made up’ stories, even Brian found solitude in ridding himself of my erratic emotions. It hurt to think, but I couldn’t shake the idea that it was true; I’d caused them all so much confusion and upset, it was a wonder they hadn’t excluded me already. That made me glad to be away; to give them the break they needed, the break I needed, in ways. The change of scenery allowed me to think, to see life differently, I guess.
My mind had been wondering for so long that most shops were closing up, most people had emptied the streets; the only ones left were those on their way to a big night out; heading to the local pubs and clubs to drink and dance their problems away. I only wished I could join them; go back to the way I had been and drown my thoughts in cheep, heavy liquor. I hoped I could find some money in my pocket, only to realise that these pants were stolen and were never going to hold any bills.
It was then that I pushed my palms into my coat pockets, finding what felt like money. I pulled out the object and was almost disappointed to find a note; paper. I almost threw it away as junk before curiosity got the better of me and I read the message. It read:
Hi, Kid
There’s a pocket on the inside of this coat with about $50 in it. Use it wisely.
Mama Meg
I quickly found the pocket and inside found the money; about $43; one 10, about five 5’s, and the rest in 1’s. It was clear that money was difficult on the streets but shit, so was my head. I head to the closest pub I could find, ordering enough whiskey shots to get me to at least the point that I’d forget where I was and sure enough, I got drunk enough that all of my pain was a distant memory, I was so damn intoxicated I stopped caring what might happen.
Notes
A/N: Hey guys! Another update for y'all! It's another little filler piece but more exciting things are about to come! Hope you enjoy this piece and vote n comment n share etc!Love, Nat xx
Ummmmm, I'm so confused. Is she suffering from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia or...?
5/4/17