They Say That ALL Beauty Must Die.

I opened my eyes, once again, to find myself in the same hospital room. Only it wasn't as bright as it was before. I remembered everything that happened before they drugged me up. My arms were stinging and I was in a lot of pain. But I ignored the pain and everything and I looked up to the ceiling. I wanted to go home, I didn't want to stay here. I hate hospitals! I wanted to call out to my dad but he was nowhere to be seen. I immediately remembered the memory of the doctor telling me my mother.. died.
I started to cry again. Only quietly this time. I cried so much and it felt like I was gonna have another panic again. I wanted to stop myself, I don't know why I couldn't though! I started to have an attack. My breathing sped up, my body went cold & I felt like my heart was trying to hop out of my chest. My ears popped and my vision was starting to blur.
Before my vision was completely blurred, I took a look at the heart monitor and I seen that my heart rate was normal. It was too high and the machine was beeping like crazy. The beeping scared me even more. My breathing increased and my throat became dry.
I wanted to scream, but just before I could, the doctor that told me my mom died walked in and tried to give me another one of those needles. As he was about to eject it into my arm, I grabbed it, broke it and threw it across the room.
Luckily, my attack stopped. But I felt it coming back when I caught the doctor looking at me. He softened up his face and said to,
"Instead of these needles, we could give you pills if you want.. they'll work with your anxiety."
I had a puzzled look on my face, but accepted. I was wondering how he knew about my social anxiety as he walked out of the room. Ugh.. it must have been dad.
I sat there on the bed in pain. My arms felt like they were gonna fall off. I had lump in my throat just waiting to come out. Before I could start to cry, the doctor walked in with pills & a cup of water. I gradually took them from his hand & downed them with no hesitation.
He checked my body again. Vision, hearing, blood pressure & heart rate. He finished and I asked him when I could go home. He told me that I would be able to go home tomorrow. A good sting of happiness shot through my body. He smiled at me and made his way to the door.
I stopped him, and asked him "How come I'm not badly injured?"
The doctor came walking back in and sat down on the chair beside my bed. I waited for an answer, but didn't wait too long because he replied,
"The semi truck.. hit your moms side of the car. The impact only gave you a broken but done so much to your mother."
I wanted to cry but I needed to listen to what he had to say, so I kept my mouth shut.
He looked back at me and smiled. I returned it with a small smile.
"Your mother was suffering, Cherish.."
I didn't wanna listen to anymore. It's fucked up! This doctor comes in, drugs me up, and tells me that my mother suffered! I felt like shit and I just wanted him to leave!
I guess he read the expression on my face, because he walked out.
I sat back on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. I wish I could hug my mom one last time.. kiss her cheek one last.. tell her that I love her.. ONE. LAST. TIME.
I cried until I had no more tears to cry, so I just sat there with my swollen eyes and red nose.
I was getting really, really hungry. I saw in movies that they have some kind of remote beside the bed to call a nurse or something. I searched on the sides of my bed and WOO HOO, I found one. I pressed the button and waited.
A few minutes passed and then a short nurse walked in with a smile on her,
"Feeling any better, Miss Valentine?"
I didn't want to be rude, so I told her yes and gave her a small smile. She asked me if I needed anything, so I told her I was hungry.
She smiled at me and walked out. I waited for what felt like forever. She came back into the room with a plate with 2 big pieces of pizza and a bottle of water. I thanked her, she returned it with a small smile and walked out. I ate and drank my water. By now, I felt really full. I waited for somebody.. anybody to come here and talk to me.
I wanted to cry for my mom but I drained myself from my tears. I had none left to fall.
I laid there with my hands on my face until I heard a small knock.
I shot up and took a look at the door and saw my dad was standing there with my phone, earphones & a change of clothes. We didn't say to eachother. It was pure silence. I felt.. awkward for some reason. I don't know.. I thought it was weird. I took my phone from his hands, plugged in the earphones and was about to listen to music and ignore everything that was going on. Until my dad spoke,
"We're having the funeral for your mother tomorrow."
I nodded my head lightly and plugged in my earphones. I shoved them into my ears and pushed the play button on my phone. I was listening to a song called "Second Heartbeat".. I didn't know who the artist was. I don't really pay attention to that.
I felt my dad get up off my bed and I slowly lifted my head, only to see him walking out of the room. I turned up the volume on my music and fell into a deep sleep.

*The Next Day*
I was waking up and I heard people chattering. Some started to whisper. I felt really awkward and small so I just kept my eyes closed. I was about to drift to sleep again, but I felt someone nudge my arm. I opened my eyes and saw my bestfriend Jade sitting here with a small smile. I gave her a great big hug and we started to talk for a bit. She stopped talking when my dad came walking towards us. He said,
"The funeral will be in half an hour.. I suggest you get ready, Cherish.."
I tried to get up fast, but I forgot about the cast on my arm, so as soon as I lifted myself to get up, I felt a really, really sharp pain shoot through my arm. I winced in pain. The doctor with curly hair walked in and gave me some pills. I didn't want to look at him. I immediately stopped liking him after what he told me lastnight. I took the pills without hesitation and they started to work fast. The pain in my arm was gone. I smiled, grabbed my clothes my dad got for me lastnight and my way to the bathroom. Ugh, I hate hospital bathrooms. I don't know why.
I looked at my reflection and saw a big purple bruise on my right shoulder. How could I not notice that? I took a deep breath it and breathed it out.. I started to put on the clothes my dad got me. He's awesome. He got my my black skinny jeans, and a baggy black shirt. I already had a tank top on, so I put my baggy shirt over it. I opened the bathroom door and called for my dad. He walked up to me, I asked him if he bought my makeup. He said yeah and he walked away and came back with my makeup. I gave him a small smile and closed the bathroom door again. I put on my eyeliner. A little thicker than I usually do. I did that because my eyes were swollen from crying. I put on my eye shadow and a little bit of mascara.
I looked at my reflection and took a deep breathe.
I walked out of the bathroom and noticed that more people were starting to pile in. Most were friends of my mom, some friends of my dad, and a lot of family members.
Jade came walking up to me and grabbed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. I'm glad she knew how I acted in public. I giggled a little.
Dad came walking up to us and said we were leaving now. We all left the room and started to walk for the exit. I walked down the hallway and I heard a little girl crying. I looked up and saw her crying on the floor, with her knees close to her chest. She was calling out for her dad. I thought she was lost, but I seen a woman sitting beside her and I heard her say,
"It's alright baby.. Daddy is just sleeping."
I felt my heart get heavy and I just wanted to go up to her and just hug her. I knocked myself out of my thoughts and concentrated on my dad and the funeral.
Jade went with her parents, as for me.. I walked up to my dads vehicle. He had a big white truck.
The ride to the funeral home was quiet & sad. I could just feel the sorrow floating around between my dad & I. It was getting quiet so I decided to turn the radio on. "Mama Said" by Metallica started to play. This song spoke to me completely during this situation. I listened to the lyrics and I started to cry softly. My dad noticed my tears and he grabbed me hand. And told me everything will be alright. Oh God, I hope so.
We arrived at the funeral home. I hesitated to get out of the truck because I wasn't ready to see my mom.. laying in a casket. I just fought the tears back and swallowed the lump in my throat that was building up. I got out of the vehicle, I stood there for a minute or so and then my dad came grab my hand. We walked into the building and I seen the same people that were at the hospital. I was looking for a seat, but I spotted 2 of them in the front row. My dad & I walked up to them and sat there.
The preacher started to pray and saying how much a good woman my mother was. I smiled as he was saying all this stuff about my mom. It made me feel like she was still here.
He said it was the final viewing and he asked if my dad & I would like to go first. We accepted and got up off our chairs and made our way to my moms casket. My dad took a look at her and cried. He bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead. He whispered "I will always love you.."
Then it was my turn.. I looked at my moms lifeless body and my heart started to feel heavy. Tears building up and the lump in my throat decided to come out. I sobbed like a baby. I bent down, put my hand on my mothers head and told her that I loved her.
After everyone payed their respects, we made our way to the grave yard.
I didn't want to attend it. But I had to. I wasn't ready.
The preacher, again, said another prayer. When he finished everyone put a flower down & I noticed that I didn't have any. I felt bad, but then Jade came up behind me and gave me 3 of my moms favorite flowers. Lillys. I smiled and hugged her. As they were lowering her down, I lightly tossed the flowers down. I smiled and whispered to myself,
"I'll see you later, mom.."

Notes

HELLLLOOOOOOOO!!!
Jimmy will not be showing up until the 7th chapter.
I'm sorry for any inconvenience. :)
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