Matt, Val, my kids, and I arrived here in Arkansas yesterday to get ready for the funeral and burial services today. When I told my children about Rex and Raph passing away they were devistated. I'm not sure if they understood what I explained to them about death or not but one day they will. Matt and Val had already dressed and were watching my kids while I took a shower and dressed into the only semi formal clothnig I had but I knew if Rex and Raph could see me now they would think it's alright. I emerged from the bathroom and put on my shoes and headed out of our motel. As Matt gave the woman at the desk our room keys, Val helped me put my kids into their carseats. Matt got into the car and drove us over the funeral home and parked the car into an empty space. There were so many cars parked outside of the building as I got out and looked around. Most of them I recognized when I worked at the Faded Cross.

I stared at the building while Val got my children. I didn't want to go in but I know I had too. I couldn't back down now. I walked into the large funeral home and signed my name to the book that sat outside on a table before walking into the chapel. I seen the famliar faces of my fans as I got closer to the open caskets.

"I'll get us a seat." Val said and I watched as her and Matt took a seat in the second row. I stood at their bodies and touched their cold hands.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. If I had known he would hurt you 2, I would have stayed with him at all costs....This is all my fault." I whispered as tears gently slid off my face. I sat down with Matt, Val, and my kids and listened to the preacher say a few words. We had one last chance to view the bodies before the bearers took them out to the hearses to be driven to the cemetery.
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At the gravesite, the preacher again said the Lord's Prayer before we were dismissed from the grave. I stood alone and watched the workers put their bodies into their final resting places. I felt someone touch my shoulder and I looked to see Val.

"Come on. Let's go home." she said and I walked with her back to the car. The ride to the airport was silent and so was the flight going back to California. Not even my kids spoke a word. Since the death of my parents that I have not forgotten, I will not be forgetting this one either.

Notes

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