Love Notes

Sighing, taking my seat with the group, I couldn’t change my train of thought from Zacky. Getting lost in the moment thinking that he actually talked to me, was too hard to take in. I loved it, though. He seemed like a regular person, not like all the other ‘snooty rockstars’, who thinks they shit gold.

“Zay.. Zay? Whoo hoo, Hello?” I overheard, then noticing Nicky waving his hand in my face. I looked at him with hatred, from breaking me from my deep thoughts.

“What?” I questioned.

“Welcome back to earth. Anyways, we were talking about Chain Reaction. Your buying me in, right?” He asked. God, what a fucking mooch! You’d think being 20, he’d go out and actually want to work, but obviously not him.

“Fuck you, but yeah, I guess. You need to get a fucking job.” I said, rolling my eyes. He grabbed my chin, making me look at him.

“I don’t need a fucking job! My parents said that I didn’t have to get one!” He yelled. I punched him in the head, making him let me go.

“You stupid son of a bitch, don’t you ever grab me like that, you understand?” I pushed him back on the floor.

“Me and Hay both have fucking jobs, and you want to know why? Its because we both have to fend for ourselves, we can’t just go run to Mommy and Daddy for money.” I seethed, sitting on his stomach, getting in his face.

“Get the fuck off him, Zayden.” My brother, my own flesh and blood, Hayden told me. I looked at him like he was a fucking idiot.

“Excuse me? Did you not hear what he just said to me? Oh no, you didn’t cause you could care-fucking-less.” I yelled back to Hayden, getting off Nicky. Hayden helped him up.

“You’re a bitch. You do nothing but get on that god forsaken computer day in and day out. Why don’t you get a life?” Hayden retorted at me. I was taken back by his question. I began to laugh in hate.

“Oh really? Well as if you didn’t know, when we get out of school; I come home, and get ready for work. I work from 11 to 7, then I got to go to school.” I glared at him. He gave a sarcastic smile, and that got me very pissed.

“I work two fucking jobs to help on most of the bills, cause you blow your fucking money on goddamn drugs, and on top of that you take care of Nicky. So don’t give me any fucking lip about me having a life.” I gritted, getting into Hayden’s face. He pushed me back, then I swung, aiming for his face.

I felt Garrett pull me back. He took me into the kitchen. I sat at the kitchen table, as he fixed my cut hand. I still thought about Zacky. He didn’t seem the way people made him out to be.

“You know, you need to quit doing things like this, Zay.” I heard Garrett speak. I looked at him for more.

“I mean, you and him fighting. Its never ending, and I will say, your right most of the time. You take more care of this house, than he does. He takes care of Nicky.” He finished. I nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, and I still do my work at school, I come home and clean, and there’s times that I do want to be alone, away from everything.” I said, as a tear fell from my cheek, onto the table.

“Zay-Zay, don’t cry.” Garrett said, finishing up my hand. I quickly wiped my cheek.

“I don’t know what your talking about.” I said, getting up, walking to the refrigerator. I got the pitcher of tea out, and fixed me some tea, still thinking about Zacky. I hopped up on the counter, taking a sip of tea. Garrett walked out the kitchen.

I couldn’t get him out of my head. I wonder if were actually gonna meet face to face at Chain Reaction. I wonder was my age a turn off for him. I know he probably would’ve wanted to talk to a more older girl, than me. Hell, most everyone does.

I wondered would he completely ignore me at the show, or would he actually talk to me. I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts of the worst that could possibly happen. I was scared that I wouldn’t talk to him again. He seemed like the laid back, and down-to-earth type of guy. The type that I liked most.

I don’t know why I was getting myself worked up over this. Nothing would ever happen between us. We’re just friends on MSN, it’ll most likely stay that way for the rest of my life. He’ll find some perfect blonde. It was better than to have me, an 18 year old.

I looked on the refrigerator and saw that the show at Chain Reaction was tomorrow. Holy shit, what was I going to wear? But, yet, why should it matter? I couldn’t stop from thinking about that, and him.

And to think that only a couple of minutes, could keep me from confusion. It just confused me more than ever, but a good confusion; if thats even possible.

Notes