Say This Sooner -A7X One Shot

I don’t know what came over me. I wasn’t even thinking. He was standing so close, and I was in such a panic, I couldn’t even seem to focus on anything other than looking into his crystal blue eyes. I was getting this insane urge to just reach up and kiss him.

What was I doing? Where were these thoughts about Jimmy coming from? I had to keep focus. I was supposed to be pissed off right now. So why was I getting so lost into his eyes instead?

“What does it matter to you anyway?” I had to force myself to speak. Why did he even care if I was in love with Matt or not?

He chuckled without emotion. “I don’t even know anymore.” He shook his head, still not backing off. He wouldn’t break his lock on me. “Tell me, why should I care so much about you Antonia? All I’ve ever done is love you, and all you have to show for it is this hatred. You barely even notice me as I have always stood by your side through everything.” His voice began to shake and his eyes were less intense. He actually looked upset with every word he spoke.

Was all of this true? Was he actually…in love with me? I couldn’t see why. I didn’t deserve to be loved, by anyone, but hearing this made me realize that that he was right.

I have been neglecting him, one of my best friends, all of my friends for that matter. I was so wrapped up in my emotions and my feelings for Matt, that I never noticed how much pain my best friend was in, and all because of me.

“Jimmy, I-” He stood up straight and backed away to give me space.

“I need to get changed. You can have the bathroom first if you want. I’ll be waiting outside on the balcony until you’re done. I think I need some fresh air.” He said, about to walk past me to the sliding doors behind me.

I quickly stood up. “Jimmy, please,” I begged. He stopped but didn’t turn around, waiting for me to continue. “Don’t go. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry with you. I was just a little upset. Please forgive me,” I said, using my sweet innocent voice that I knew he loved.

He glanced at me from over his shoulder. When he didn’t say anything, I marched my way over and stood in front of him, making him look at me. “Please don’t be mad at me Jimmy. I’m sorry for yelling. I don’t even know why I was so upset, but I’m over it now.” I said, reaching and taking his face in my hands.

He looked down at me in surprise. “What are you doing?” He asked quietly.

I smiled and stood on my tippy toes, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed his lips. His back stiffened at first, but then he smiled back, melting under the kiss, as did I. As soon as the kiss deepened, he lifted me up off my feet and I tangled my legs around his waist, running my fingers through his crazy black hair. He held onto me tightly as I began to slip against his wet body from being in the pool.

All of a sudden, and all too quickly, I found myself parted from his lips and was now back on my feet. I looked up to see his pained expression. “Jimmy, what happened?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” He shrugged. “Where the hell did that come from Antonia?”

I guess I could say that I was a little confused myself. The truth was I have no idea why I kissed him, but I couldn’t help it. I could feel the anger toward Matt just melt away as I stared into his blue eyes, as he held me in his arms.
I chuckled, taking his hands in mine. “I wanted to show you just how I feel about you.”

He bit his lip and closed his eyes. “What are you saying?”

Instead of telling him, I showed him how I felt. I reached up and kissed him once more, with more passion than I’ve ever felt in my entire life for anybody or anything. It turns out that it was Jimmy, my best friend, who was the love of my life.

I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out that it was Jimmy who loved me, not Matt. I wasn’t in love with Matt. It was just a silly crush, one that I felt no longer, but this, what I was feeling right now for the man who stood in front of me, it was so much more than that. It was true love.

“I love you James Owen Sullivan.” I breathed after our lips parted shortly.

“I love you too Antonia. I’ll love you forever and will never let you go.” He smiled, just before pulling me in for another, meaningful kiss that I never wanted to stop. I was never going to let him go either. I was in love with my best friend, and I never knew until now.

Notes

This is for Antonia -a.k.a Frerardkey. You are an awesome person and an even better friend. You honestly deserve much better than this, but this is all I have to offer you. I hope you like it :)