Fiction

I stormed out of the bathroom, feeling my face hot from being so angry. I wanted nothing more than to go back there and cuss out those girls some more, but instead, being the better person, I went to my next hour, hoping to forget about them and focus on my schoolwork.

I walked into my English class and saw that there was assigned seats written down on the board…great. I just hope I wasn’t stuck with sitting next to someone I didn’t like, or even someone who would bug me all year. My seat was in the second row away from the teacher and by the window. Well at least I could look out of it all day if I didn’t want to do my work. It will be nice to be able to sit in the sunshine instead of underneath the florescent lights.

I sat down in my assigned seat and took out a notebook and a pencil. The young teacher was already at her desk and waited for everyone to take his or her seat. The rest of the hour went on like I would expect and was completely boring, just like the rest of the day. Nothing special happened to me after the incident in the bathroom, and I was grateful for that.

I didn’t want to run into the girls, who were all ready to seek their revenge on me, I'm sure. I knew I was going to regret speaking back to them like that, one way or another, I just hope it wasn’t going to be too bad. I could handle being called names or even being ridiculed for the rest of the school year, but when it came to fighting, I just don’t know what I would do.

It wasn’t like me to yell like that, or to even speak my own mind. I don’t know what came over me, but I just couldn’t keep my emotions bottled in anymore and finally had something to say, though what I said may just get me into trouble later on…

I was a complete pacifist, believing there were other ways to resolve conflict than throwing fists or, in other cases in life, murder. I hated violence and couldn’t stand to watch someone in a fight, even if I didn’t know who they were.

I didn’t want to see anyone getting hurt, nor would I ever try to hurt someone else. I'm not talking about playfully hitting someone on the shoulder and just messing around. I mean, I could never cause someone physical harm, I just had too much of an innocent soul for that.

The last bell out the day rang after sixth hour and the day was finally over. I gathered my stuff and threw them into my backpack before slinging it over my shoulder and walking out the school entrance as fast as I could, watching out for the girls through the corners of my eyes. I did not want to get into a fight with someone right now…or ever, if possible.

I waited close enough by the doors for Kyle so I could tell him that dad wasn’t going to pick us up today and that he needed to ride the bus. There was no way I was going to get on a crowded bus full of annoying kids, but still had to mention it to him.

Finally, after what felt like forever, I spotted him standing around with a few other people in his grade, after me waiting for over ten minutes for him to come outside. I fixed my backpack and stalked over to him, huffing as he continued to laugh throughout a conversation, not even seeing me. Once I stopped shortly in front of him, he followed his friend’s gaze at me. He was about to say something when I cut him off.

“Okay first off, just so you know, I’ve had a hell of a day, and no thanks to you for making it any easier.” I began.

He glared at me. “What the hell did I do?”

“It’s more like what didn’t you do, Kyle.” I retorted.

“I don’t know what you talking abou-”

“And second, you are a complete piece of shit!” I shouted, my anger feeling uncontrollable. Everyone’s mouth dropped open at me. Who knew that the quiet girl could yell, let alone speak? “I may not actually have asked for your help, but it could have been so nice of you to at least help me up off the floor this morning.”

“Okay, so now it’s my fault that you got pushed?” He scoffed, mocking me to make himself look better in front of all his friends.

“Well it sure as hell is your friends fault for shoving me at lunch today!” I said, throwing my glare straight at the guy. “You just walked away without even looking back!”

“Kyle, do you know this chick?” The same boy asked him, pointing at me as if I were a lunatic.

Kyle took a minute to say anything, let alone glance back at me, but then he decided to make a complete ass of himself and laughed. “Please, I’ve never talked this girl before in my entire life. I think I've seen her around before. What did you say your name was?” He pretended to ask.

I scoffed and almost dropped my bag. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I basically screamed for the whole parking lot to hear.

“Whoa, someone get this crazy-ass bitch away from me.” Kyle said, putting his hands up to stop me from getting any closer to where I could touch him. He knew he was about to get slapped.

That’s when I really began to yell. It became a shouting war between him, and all of his friends and me. They all laughed and mocked me, but I ignored them because most of my anger was directed at my idiot brother.

He and I yelled back and forth at each other while he still kept up his stupid act to pretend as if he didn’t even know me. If some of them weren’t trying to push me away from him, I swear he would have had a red hand print across his cheek by now.

“Fuck you, Kyle! You can just walk home!” I threw in. “Fuck you and all of your bitch-ass friends!”

“What the hell are talking about?” He said, giving me a look that made me want to kick him in the teeth.

“Who are you calling the bitch, when I’m seeing one in front of me right now?” The guy from lunch glowered, getting in my face. He was easily a half a foot taller than I was, but that wasn’t going to stop me. “You’re the one who came over here and started shit! Why don’t you go take your sorry ass and-”

I was close to spitting in his face when someone else spoke. “Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Did you really just talk to her like that?” Someone asked loudly from behind me, getting everyone’s attention. I quickly spun around to see who it was.

To my surprise, it was Matt Sanders. I stood there, almost in complete shock. Who knew that he would have come to my rescue twice in one day, or ever for that matter?

“Who the hell are you?” The annoying guy who shoved me asked him.

Matt shook his head and made his way to stand next to me. “It doesn’t matter who I am. You shouldn’t be talking to her like that. Have some fucking respect and apologize, shithead.” Matt glared with a threatening tone.

“Are you going to make me?” He smirked, crossing his arms.

Matt shrugged and shook his head again. “What are you, five?”

“I don’t see you doing anything to stop me.”

That’s when Matt gave him a sly, crooked smile. “If it comes down to it…”

The guy backed off a little. “Whatever man. I was just playing around. Can’t anyone take a joke?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Why don’t you take your bitch-ass somewhere else and leave her the hell alone?” Huh, he must have been around long enough to hear everything I had said earlier, and yet…he’s still sticking up for me?

My heart was pounding against my chest and I could hear it’s unsteady rhythm in my ears. I’m sure my face was already red from being so angry earlier, but now it feels like it has completely flushed.

Kyle and his group walked away, mumbling words I couldn’t understand but I knew they weren’t very nice.

I sighed and reluctantly turned to Matt. “Thank you so much. I guess that makes twice that you saved me today.”

He shrugged and smiled. “Oh, well it was nothing. Apparently, people must really like picking on you. That or you just really like getting into fights.”

I faked a laugh. “No, actually I do not. I hate fights and any kind of violence. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but somehow, drama always seems to find its way to me.”

He chuckled. “I guess there’s just no avoiding it with you then.” I nodded, agreeing completely with that statement. “So did you even know that you guy you were yelling at, or was it just another random person who doesn’t seem to like you?” He asked, trying to hold back his smirk.

I threw my hands up. “Oh, well that was just my brother being a complete-, you know what, it doesn’t even matter. Anyway, I’ve had a very long day. I just really want to get home, go to sleep, and never wake up.” I shrugged, beginning to turn and walk away. “Thank you again, but I got to go.”

“Hey, wait,” He said, catching me by my arm and stood in front of me.

I sighed, just wanting to get home now, but even at home there was no avoiding Kyle, and I’m sure I was going to be in plenty of trouble for cussing at my dad earlier today. Who knows what my punishment is going to be, though just being home itself was punishment enough.

“So I was wondering, since it looks like you’re walking home, if maybe, I don’t know-”He began as he shrugged.

I quickly waved him off to stop him. “Uh, thanks and all, for whatever you were about to ask, but I’m just going to walk home now. See you around.” I said, walking away without staying to hear his response.

Whatever he was going to say, I figured it was best if I declined. I’ve had too much of a horrible day and I just wanted to go home and try to forget about everything and everyone else. Sure, I was curious to know what he was going to say, but right now, my head was pounding with a headache and the only thing I could focus on was my feet as I walked down the road to my house.

At least I didn’t live a long distance away from the school, but it was far enough that by the time I got home, my feet were sore and my legs were aching just like my head. I went in and opened the door as quietly as possible, hoping no one was home yet since I didn’t see my dad’s BMW out in the driveway.

The living room was empty and the TV was shut off. I guess Kyle hadn’t gotten home yet, that was a good thing. Maybe I wouldn’t have to see him for the rest of the night if I just shut myself off in my bedroom and stayed in there until the morning. That would be another way to avoid my parents too.

Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn’t have come home at all. The only time I was ever noticed in my family was when I got into trouble, and that wasn’t often. Kyle did bad things all of the time and was hardly even scolded for it. I did one bad thing all year and I get punished for it.

Forget this, I wasn’t neither needed nor wanted here. I’m leaving, and I knew I would hardly be missed. I turned to leave with my backpack still slung over my shoulder, just about to reach for the door when it already opened. I jumped back to get out of the way as it swung past me and Kyle stepped inside. He looked pissed as he saw me, but I knew I was the one who had the right to be angry right now. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, coming up to me like that and yelling in my face, in front of my friends?” He yelled as he slammed the door behind him.

“I don’t give a damn about your dumbass friends Kyle. Where do you come off thinking you can treat me like that? I am your sister! I should be much more important to you than some stupid kids at school!” I yelled right back.

“Well guess what, you’re not,” He smirked, throwing his bag down by the door and I scoffed. I knew he didn’t like me, but it hurt to know that I wasn’t even important to him. “And if you think your fucking friend is going to stop me from yelling at you for what you did-”

“Whoa, wait a minute,” I cut him off. “Matt is not my friend. I haven’t even spoken a word to him before today, and if it wasn’t for him, you would be crying and lying on the ground outside of school right now,” I pointed a finger at him.

“Because I would have kicked you right where the sun doesn't fucking shine. Understand what I’m saying?” I hissed, pointing my finger even lower.

His eyes showed a flash of shock for a moment but then quickly disappeared as his face became angry again. “Fuck you, Leah. I can’t wait to see what mom and dad thinks about all of this, how their good little girl all of a sudden became the biggest bitch known to man.” With that, he stormed upstairs and I watched as he went into his room and slammed his door shut.

This was probably the first actual fight he and I have ever been into with each other. Sure, we argued often, but it was never anything like this. It wasn’t easy to talk to my own brother like this. Hell, I don’t even know where all of this anger was even coming from. This wasn’t like me to do anything like this.

That’s when I heard the click of another door opening from behind me. I spun around and saw my dad coming in through the front door. Great…

Anger instantly shown in his eyes when he saw me, just like the way Kyle’s had. “There you are! I’ve been trying to call you all day!” He said, coming in and set his suitcase down on the coffee table.

My hand reached for my phone in my back pocket, but there was nothing there. Where was my phone? I searched all of my pockets, hoping I had misplaced it, but I still couldn’t find it. “I’m sorry, I must have missed your calls. I don’t know where my pho-”

“You’re sorry?” He cut me off. “You get an attitude with me and cuss at me earlier, then you ignore me and won’t answer my calls, and all you have to tell me is that you’re sorry?” He questioned, as he seemed to try to hold back from yelling.

I shook my head. “No, dad, I wasn’t ignoring you. I can’t find my-”

“Upstairs, NOW.” He demanded, directing me up the steps. I followed and started going up. “I will be back up there as soon as your mother gets home to discuss your punishment.”

I stopped and quickly spun around mid-step. “What punishment? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Oh, so now you’re going to start lying to me?” He folded his arms. “You know, I have no idea where this attitude of yours is coming from, but I certainly don’t like it. Where is the old Leah? Because this is not the Leah I know. My daughter would never act like this."

I felt my heart drop from inside my chest. Did my own father really just say that to me? What did I do wrong besides let a few angry words slip from my mouth? If only he would listen so I could tell him that I haven’t been ignoring him, I just can’t find my fucking phone!

“But-…Why would you say that?” I could barely force the words to come out of my mouth.

Before I could let him see me cry, I ran up the stairs and locked myself in my room, ready to just crawl under my covers and die. Why did everyone hate me so much? My family wanted nothing to do with me, they practically ignored my existence until I had to do something bad just to get their attention, and then the people at school hated my guts and I didn’t even know why. What did I do to earn such hatred?

As the tears began to run down my cheeks, I went straight for my nightstand and pulled out the hidden blade. It seemed to be calling my name, waiting and expecting my return. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I would return to my old routine.

I tried to stop cutting, I really did, but somehow misery and sorrow began to pull me down all over again. There was no way I would overcome this, not without having to kill myself first, but I don’t think I was ready for that, not tonight. I knew I would feel a little bit better in the morning. Tonight wasn’t the night…they just weren’t worth it.

Not even my family or the people from school who all seemed to hate me would make me go through with it. I’ve thought about it believe me, every day. I just prayed that I wouldn’t ever get the courage to finally do it, to finally take my life.

I’ve had a hell of a day, beginning with the guys who pushed me down, twice, and then with the girls from my history class and all of their drama. Who knew what they were planning for me tomorrow, but I’m sure I wasn’t going to come home uninjured.

I guess I could say something good did come out of today, hardly, but it did. At least I made a few new friends. Well, maybe I couldn’t really say they were my friends, more like acquaintances, but that was closer to having friends than I was before.

Maybe I would be able to hang out with Lacy and her friends again at lunch tomorrow, then again, maybe not. They were just doing me a favor by being nice to me. It’s not like they actually wanted to be my friends.

Then there was Johnny, the short Freshman I met because of a door. He was really nice…but he did say that he would be getting me back for smacking him in the face. That thought somewhat scared me and made me nervous. I really hope he wasn’t trying to think of ways to hurt me tomorrow, like the girls from the bathroom. I knew they were planning something…

What about Matt, could I consider him as a friend? No, most likely not, because again, it was just someone doing me a favor. It did have me wondering why he would even help me out like that, twice. I know I didn’t do anything to deserve his kindness, especially after walking away on him like that.

It had me curious and wondering what he was going to ask me before I interrupted him. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter anymore. Tomorrow was going to be a brand new day, another chance to live my crappy, miserable life, and possibly get the shit beaten out of me. Can’t wait…

Notes

I have lost almost all complete interest in this story and have/had no idea where it's going. I can't make any promises, but I will try to keep writing this. I don't know, but thank you all who have read this and at least liked it, it really does mean a lot to have all of your support. Please don't give up on me or this story just yet.