The Hardest Decision To Make

“Kota-cakes, wake up!!” I mumbled and groaned before turning over, attempting to get back to sleep.

“Oh no you don’t! Get UP!” I was suddenly lifted and thrown over a rather boney shoulder, knocking the air out of my lungs.

“JIMMY PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I FUCKING VOMIT ALL OVER YOU!” I was suddenly thrown down on the couch. I slowly looked up to see all the guys, already dressed and ready for the day, whereas I was not. I could already tell, without even having to look that my hair looked like a wirey, frizzy mop and that my makeup was smudged everywhere.

“NO DON’T LOOK AT ME. I’M UGLY.” I covered my face with my hands and shoved my face into the couch, embarrassed.

“Aw Kota, no you’re not! You’re gorgeous, now get the fuck up!” Matt yelled from where he stood. I grumbled and shook my head, still hiding my face in the couch, before slowly rolling off and falling on to the ground.

“Leave me alone to die. My arm hurts like a mother fucker and it’s too early for this shit!” I mumbled while rolling around the room on the ground. Everyone laughed when I was picked up again and thrown over another shoulder.

“Time to take you home to get ready for another fun day at school, Kota!” Brian said mockingly from under me. I glared at his back, which was the only thing I could see, as I was carried up the stairs and out the front door, still with frizzy hair and messy makeup.

Soon enough we arrived at my house, and I ran in to shower, not forgetting to wrap my casted arm, change and get ready as quickly as possible. Once showered, I quickly changed into shorts and a T-shirt, blow dried my hair, keeping it natural, and applied very light makeup; mascara and a small amount of eyeliner. I grabbed everything I would need for the day and ran downstairs, stopping in the kitchen only to find it empty besides a sticky note explaining bluntly why my father was no where to be found. I frowned and sighed before running out of the house and back into Zack’s car.

Where was he? Had I really disapointed him that much? I mean... I know I’m not necessarily a parents wet dream, but if he only gave me time to explain why I beat up Holly.

Then it hit me. He was doing what he always did when he was upset or disappointed. The same thing happens all the time. It happened after mom died, after I first started getting violent, and after I was kicked out of school in Chicago. He was getting fucking smashed. He was going to get wasted beyond belief, then find some cheap whore, with a collective amount of STD’s no doubt, and get his relief from her.

I gasped and my eyes widened, causing Brian, Jimmy and Johnny to all look at me, since they were sitting in the backseat, very tightly packed, with me.

I just can’t believe he would do this again....

“Kota, are you okay?” Johnny asked worriedly. I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him, then to the other two dark haired boys, looking worriedly at me.

“Yeah Johnny, I’m fine.” I smiled at him, but not genuinely. They seemed to accept my fake smile and went on with their own conversations until we arrived at the school. I stayed quiet the whole morning, and during all my classes until lunch rolled around.

“Okay, enough with the shit Dakota. What’s wrong?” Matt asked worriedly. I sighed and sat down in front of ‘The Tree’ and began to tell my story, starting from the beginning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And that’s my life.” I finished my story, picking at the loose strings on the bottom of my shorts nervously. I didn’t dare look up at any of the guys, too scared to see their expressions.

“Kota.... I can honestly say, myself speaking for all of us, that we don’t care about your past, or your problems. We love you for you! You’ve grown on us these past few days, and you’re apart of our family now. We will help you through everything. We promise... I promise.” Brian said softly, everyone agreeing. I smiled and attacked all the guys in a huge hug, not as worried about being left alone again. At the end of the day, we all agreed to meet at Matt’s. I finally got to pick up my car, which had been sitting in the school parking lot since yesterday at lunch when I had to visit the Hospital.

The bell rang shortly after and we all made our way to class to finish the rest of the school day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sighed contently as I sat on the carpeted floor of Matt’s basement, waiting for the joint to make it’s way back around the circle. A lazy smile plastered on my face from the weed’s effect.

“Jimmy, did you know that you’re one of my best friends?” I said quietly to the smiling boy beside me. He grinned down at me goofily before attacking me to the ground and tickling me ruthlessly making me burst into an eruption of giggles.

“You’re one of my best friends too my little duckling!” He cooed and kissed my cheek making me smile even wider.

We all passed around multiple joints before we were all as high as possible, and laying on top of each other on the ground. My head was on Zacky’s chest while Matt’s head was resting on my legs. I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his short hair as I stared up at the ceiling. Brian and Jimmy were laying on each other, while Johnny was already long asleep.

“Hey Zacky.”

“Yeah Kota?” He looked down at me and smiled.

“I love you. You’re amazing and have always been so nice to me and you guys saved my life! I don’t know if you knew this but I was going to kill myself before I met you five crazy wonderful peoples. You saved me.” I mumbled while snuggling further into his chest. He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed.

“I love you too, Kota. You have no idea how glad I am that I met you.” He said quietly before falling asleep. Soon every one of the boys were fast asleep, so I turned my sober brain on and gathered all my things before quietly walking up the stairs and leaving the Sander’s house.

By some lucky chance, I made my way back to my own house without crashing my car or getting lost. I walked slowly up the walkway and to the front door, where I fumbled with my key before unlocking and opening the door, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Kota, is that you?” I heard from the kitchen. I cursed under my breath before clearing my throat, trying to make myself seem not as high as I was.

“Uh yeah dad, I’m pretty tired. Gonna go to bed. Night.” I said quietly before making my way upstairs. Right as I was about to enter my room, my dad stopped me.

“Hey Kotes, come here. We need to talk.” My eyes widened in fear, but slowly turned around to face my father.

“I’m really sorry for how I acted lately, it’s just been really hard not having your mother here to help when I need- are you high?!” He suddenly yelled.
“Uh-I-uh no? Pshh noooo.” I slightly slurred.

“Dakota Lune Greaves I cannot believe you would do this! Leaving Chicago was supposed to help stop your bullshit behavior, not make it worse! I bet it’s all those boys’ faults! I always knew they were no good!” He yelled, infuriating me more with every word.

“No dad! You’re wrong! Those boys helped me when you didn’t! They’ve been better people to me then you ever have! They were there when I was at the hospital and when I was upset about mom, and where were you? Getting fucking wasted and screwing some two cent hooker to forget about your pain! You’re a sick, selfish excuse for a Father!”

Before I knew it, my head snapped to the right and a painful sting enveloped my left cheek. I slowly turned my head back to face the terrible man in front of me, who’s face was a mix of horror, shock and guilt.

“Good job, dad. You’ve won Father of the year. Congratu-fucking-lations.” I seethed before turning around and walking into my room.
“Dakota, wait! I swear I didn’t mean to do that!” He pleaded. I whipped around and glared at him.

“Well you did anyway. You really have out-asshole’d yourself. I fucking hate you.” I snapped before turning back around and slamming my door, shaking the whole house.

I walked to my bed and laid down, instantly bursting into tears.

Why do things have to be so hard?

Notes

Outfit: www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=79110909

Sooo.... I'm so sorry that it's been such a ridiculously long time, but things have not been good lately, but I'm back! I hope you enjoy this little semi-filler and leave me your input and comments! <3