I looked around. This is such an amazing place to be. Hell this is my favorite place ever. An Avenged Sevenfold concert, standing among this hectic crowd, screaming their names and singing along. We were all strangers, but we aimed for the same thing. To enjoy this moment and cheering on our favorite stars.

I wished I was up there. So these people could be cheering on me. But I am not a star. I am just another fan, just a black dot in their view tonight.

“LONG BEACH ARE YOU READY TO ROCK??!!!”

I looked up to the stage when M. Shadows made a loud entrance. Hell yeah we’re ready! We’ve been waiting for you guys for half an hour already. As usual they always opened with Critical Acclaim where an organ tune made way first in the intro.

Then there he is! Oh my fucking God I’m so glad I bought the most expensive ticket so that I can be near to him. So near that I could actually reach for the fabric of his ripped jeans but he kept moving with his pinstriped guitar and I wanted to just curse at him.

Oh wait, I did curse at him.

“Synyster fucking Gates! Stay where you fucking are and stop fucking moving around! Fuck it!”

He turned his head to the area of where I was standing. Raising his eyebrows at random sight, he was looking for something. My voice probably. And right then my knees trembled. Did he hear me cursing at him? But he seemed not to care about it too much as he walked to the other side of the stage, meeting Zacky. I sighed in pure orgasm everytime they both leaned against each other’s body and just grinding on those breathtaking solos. Luckily Zacky is left handed otherwise the headstock of his 6661 Schecter will poke the shit out of Brian.

Oohh I can’t let that happen!

“Wooh, how are you guys doing?” M. Shadows or Matt - as I let myself call him - spoke into the microphone with his idle hand just fiddling with the mic stand mindlessly.

“I’m fucking great!” I yelled, answering him. Shit, my voice drowned in thousands of other voices here.

“You guys look beautiful tonight. Oh I see a Welcome Home sign there. Nice. Thank you.” Matt pointed to a banner somewhere far away from my view and I can’t see it.

“Shit. I can’t fucking see it!” I yelled again, but to answer myself this time.

“Hey, Matt. Look here. Zacky is the man for me. I am baby. I am.”

Damn it, Zacky was on the other side of the stage and I can’t see what were they pointing and laughing at.

“Zacky is the man for me. Are you sure?”

There was a murmur that I can’t actually hear but Matt and Zacky laughed at it.

“Damn it, speak the fuck up!!” Wow I can’t even bring myself to believe that tonight my mouth didn’t have any insurance cover. Someone might just punch me in the face anytime if he or she gets annoyed with me.

“Wow, you say fuck a lot.”

I know that voice. My head turned abruptly and ohmyfuckinggodhe’srightinfrontofme.

Brian fucking Haner Jr was right in front of me, squatting down with his guitar on his lap and his elbow rested on his thigh and his brown eyes was staring straight into my hazel green eyes and his lips grinned into a smile and – oh I just melted.

“Hi Syn.” Fuck. That’s all I can say right now? Really? I have prepared a speech my whole life if I ever meet this perfect man but I only blurted out a ‘hi’? What a fucking pathetic obsessed fan I must have looked like right now.

“Hi yourself.” He smiled, ever so sincerely that I wanted to just pinch his cheek.

I can tell that all the other fans who surrounded me were so fucking jealous because they too started talking to him, asking him questions while Matt and Zacky were rambling about panties and bras on stage.

But Brian didn’t reply to them. Let me repeat that. He didn’t reply. He just stood up straight again and ignored them. As I turned to them, I shrugged but they gave me these awful glares as if I was the one who blew up Pearl Harbor in WWII.

Chillax, jeez!

I watched as Brian went over to Matt and Zacky, laughing together with them. God I wish I could be in their circle of friends because they looked fun to hang out with.

Suddenly my thoughts flew back home to my circle of friends. Hella, Lara, and Svenja are all my best friends but they are all the way in Germany. I left Germany because of personal reasons.

Alright, it’s because of some guy who broke my heart with something that too cliché in every relationship. Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?

“He who makes the beast out of himself,” Matt started again and I screamed loudly. Part of me hoping that Brian would come back to me and hear my voice again.

“Gets rid of the pain of being a man!!!” I yelled back at Matt and I’m sure after this concert ends I will lose my fucking voice.

******************************************************************************************************

“Let me see your pass.”

The buffed tattooed security guy asked the person in front of me. He showed it to him and he entered the back stage.

“Let me see your-”

“Here it is!” I flashed mine quickly and too excitedly because the security guy looked a bit startled by my squeaky voice.

“In you go.”

I walked forward through the black curtain and the first thing I heard was;

“WHO WANTS TO SEE AN AEROPLANE JOHNNY? WHO WANTS TO SEE AN AEROPLANE JOHN-”

“JIMMY PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!!”

Woah. I stunned at the sight of crowds in this room. I thought that backstage pass means I get to see them in personal space but there were a lot of fans in here with me too, watching and laughing at Jimmy, who carried Johnny on his back, in an unusual way. Jimmy put him across his back horizontally and pretended he was an airplane. It was a complimentary entertainment for us, I’m sure.

I glanced around and saw the other fans were asking for their autographs and taking pictures with them and all the shit that fans do. I don’t want all that. I want to make out with Brian. Can I?

I saw Brian was entertaining a giggling fan and he flashed his famous smirk everytime that girl complimented him. Uh, seriously I don’t know where to start as every one of them looked busy.

“Hey, wanna switch places? You look like you’ve had too much free time.”

I glanced at the voice and flinched at the sight of tall, lanky Jimmy in front of me, shirtless with Johnny still hanging on his back. It was Johnny who was talking to me - now I realized because his head was turned, facing my belly and that looked hurt.

“Wha-? I-” without even giving me a chance to answer, Jimmy put Johnny down and started to pick me up across my knee and bent me across his sweaty back. I screamed as he spun around, making my long brown hair swinging crazily.

“Who wants to see an aeroplane – what’s your name darling?” Jimmy stopped spinning and asked.

“Mei – Meike.” I answered in full dizziness. I swore my eyes started crossing their ways on to each other.

“WHO WANTS TO SEE AN AEROPLANE MY-KEHHH??”

I screamed at the top of my lungs and laughed as well because I was right in heaven, I think. I’ve always known that Jimmy was crazy towards his band mates but I never thought that I could be lucky enough to become one of his victims. God, I feel like vomiting now.

“Jimmy! Jimmy! I’m so close to puking on your ass right now!!”

Jimmy stopped spinning abruptly but still didn’t put me down. I was wondering why, but I immediately saw a glimpse of a person in front of him, staring with his eyes wide open. My view was turned upside down but I can instantly recognize who that person was.

“Meike?” he said my name. Jimmy quickly put me down on the floor.

“Um, I guess I should leave the two of you alone?”

My hands reached out for the belt loop on Jimmy’s jeans accidentally, asking him to stay. But my fingers couldn’t grip on them as he swiftly made his way across the room to the other fans.

“Meike.” He said my name again. I wanted to just shut my ears with both of my hands right now but I fought the urge.

I stared at him, he was wearing a Deathbat tshirt that I gave him for his birthday present last year and his hair was as spiky as Brian’s, a style I once told him to make because I am so obsessed with Brian.

“Axel.” I said his name but felt disgusted at once.

It was funny really how the two of us stare at each other while the others were busy making an impression towards their favorite band members.

I haven’t seen him in a year. Right after I left Germany.

“How are you doing?”

“Why do you care?”

He looked surprise when I snapped at him like that.

“What’s with the attitude? You weren’t like this before.”

My hands curled up into a fist. I’ve been planning a counter attack if I ever see him again. Now’s the right time to use it.

“What’s with the slutty face? You weren’t a son of a bitch before.”

“What did you say?” he stepped up closer swiftly, so near that I backed a step away but my ass nudged a table behind me. I have nowhere to run.

“Watch your mouth bitch.” He added.

“I would have watched it if you weren’t using my bed to sleep with that whore!”

He was agitated. His palms raised, ready to slap me. It all happened in such quick momentum as I closed my eyes, waiting for it to happen. Slap me away! Slap me like a fucking pussy in front of all these people! In front of Brian, my favorite guy!

But nothing happened.

I opened my eyelids and from under my long lashes I saw the back of a tall built body stood so near in front of me that I could smell the scent of his bodywash, cologne and sweat. His muscular tatted hand rose too, holding Axel’s intention to slap me before.

Shit it was Brian.

“Now, now. There’s no need to be rude to a lady like her.”

Axel blinked at him. I know he was as starstruck as I am because back when we were dating, we both worshipped this man to death.

“Sorry.” He murmured, let himself loose from Brian’s grip and just walked out of there. I sighed and rubbed my chest gently.

“You okay?”

He turned to me and he looked concern. Oh my God his face was so near that I could just reach for his jaw and kiss him right there.

“Uh, I guess.”

But of course I didn’t do that. I don’t want him to think of me as a creepy fan girl.

He stood up straight and blew the strands of his hair which rested on his forehead. That was so cute I could make a GIF image out of that action. Damn it. I should have recorded it earlier.

“So – what was that about?”

He reached out his hand around my back, for a second I thought that he was going to grab my waist and embrace me but he actually was reaching for a bottle of beer on the table behind me.
I kicked myself inside my head.

“That was – um, my-”

“Ex-boyfriend?” he guessed casually while sipping on his beer. His lazy eyes rested on mine and I felt like jelly.

“Yeah.”

Come on Meike! Where’s that heart melting speech that you’ve been meaning to say to him?

“So….” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, and I never thought that Synyster Gates could ever become awkward.

“A needle pulling thread.” Without stopping myself I slipped that pun joke on him. He looked startled and frowned at me. I bit my lower lip and kicked myself imaginarily again.

“Oh! I get it. The Sound of Music! Classic.” He raised his bottle and laughed at my joke. He laughed at MY joke.

Suddenly I felt the insides of me churning, combined with the dizziness that Jimmy put me on earlier, with the rage I felt for Axel, and me being nervous-turn–to-jelly towards Brian – my body started to jerk upwards. I wanted to vomit so much.

“Oh shit! Are you okay?”

I held out my palm. And quickly covered my mouth as my body jerked again.

“You feel like puking?”

“Uh, yeah. Jimmy spin me around and umpff - ” my hands grabbed my mouth tightly.

Without asking for my permission, Brian grabbed my hand and ran towards the backdoor of this backstage. I ran along with him, not understanding why. My head was spinning as he was sprinting in full speed ahead of me.

“Syn where are you taking -”

I called him Syn because – well I guess all fans call him that. But in my mind I call him Brian The Father of My Child.

He stopped suddenly and I can’t believe my eyes. I was standing in front of their tour bus, black and silver in color, so fucking big I have never seen a bus bigger than this.

“Call me Brian. I’m off the stage now.”

Holy fuck I get the privilege of calling him by his first name? I stared at him as he let go of my hand and knocked on the door. His knock was unusual; it was as though he was making a rhythm out of it, like a secret knock or something. Then the door opened automatically.

He smiled at me briefly before taking my hand and brought me inside. He nodded at the bus driver once – as thank you probably with his hand still on mine.

Wow. The inside of this bus was even more amazing. Most of the furniture in here were in polished oak wood. Their bunks were attached to the walls and the hallway through it was a bit crammed, probably to give space for the bunk to extend.

“Here’s the bathroom.” He showed me a small white room, consists of only a toilet, a sink and a shower head. I saw a collective lots of hair care on the sink but they were quite messy. I should apply for a job as their maid and tidy up for them.

“Uh, how should I put this. It’s gone.”

He raised his eyebrows. Oh God I feel guilty. He brought me all the way here and the vomiting feeling had gone once he told me I can call him Brian.

“It’s gone?”

I nodded.

“Maybe you should drink water or something.”

He quickly marched forward to the kitchen I wondered why would he seemed so concerned towards me. I mean I know they appreciate their fans but this much?

“Here.” He passed me a bottle of water and I took it without saying anything.

He took off his shoes and slipped on a comfy flip flop as I stood there, just staring at him. When he turned to face me, he caught me staring.

“Drink.” He ordered and I obeyed, turning the bottle cap around. As the cold water slid into my throat I felt refreshed. Those dizzy feelings were slowly gone.

“Feel better?” he asked while pulling out a cigarette out of his Malboro pack.

“Yeah. Thank you. Brian.” There. I finally called him Brian. I fought the urge to continue with ‘ – The Father of My Child’ at the back of my sentences.

He put the cigarette into his mouth and let it hung by his lips as he stared at me.

“Meike, is it?”

My eyes suddenly opened wide.

“How did you know my name?” I only told it to Jimmy earlier.

“Jimmy kind of shouting it all over the room.”

Oh yeah. Silly me.
“Right. I forgot how loud he can be.”

He chuckled and pulled his cigarette back.

“You’ve been to every of our concert right?”

My eyes suddenly lit up. “Hell yeah! I was in front row most of the time!”

“I know. I recognize your swearing.”

I blushed suddenly. So he did hear me cursing at him earlier.

“You did swear a lot. More than myself I guess. I should call you Sir- Fuck-A-Lot.”

I burst out laughing right there, uncontrollably. He laughed too but only in tiny chuckles as he lit his cigarette finally.

“Sir? But I’m a girl. I should get a Lady or a Baroness at least.”

“Lady-Fuck-A-Lot? You’ll sound like a tramp.”

I laughed again and he went near me. All of a sudden, out of nowhere he rested his hand on the back of my head. Stroking my brown hair while he was at it. He didn’t say anything – just blew out the smoke sideways so that it wouldn’t get onto my face and his brown eyes not leaving mine.

I was stunned, really not knowing what to do while his talented fingers ran through my –thank-God-I-just shampooed – hair. What would you be doing if Synyster Gates stood in front of you so closely and made his flirty move without saying anything? Hell just using that face can make me go to bed with him.

“You’re beautiful.” He murmured and I just lost it. I swear to God that this is the most embarrassing thing I have ever done in my whole life, and notice, I have done some things I’m not proud of. But here, right then, I made the stupidest move ever.

I tiptoed and kissed him on his lips.

My eyes were closed, but I can feel that he was surprised by my sudden attack because his lips were frozen at my touch. I pulled back immediately and gasped, hand covering my own mouth.

“I’m sorry! Fuck, I didn’t mean to -”

Suddenly he grabbed my waist with one hand, hoisted me upwards, meeting his tall figure and crashed his lips onto mine. He sucked my upper lip and I opened my mouth immediately. Seeing that he was granted an access, he landed his tongue on mine. I wanted to touch his perfect jaw line so bad, so I landed my palms there. Surprisingly his skin felt smooth, and I expect some gruffy stubble but he didn’t have them. He shaved clean. His right hand which contained a cigarette tucked between his fingers started to circle around my neck as he deepened the kiss. My body leaned back as he bent his own, towering over me. Holy motherfucking shit I’m making out with Brian fucking Haner.

He tasted like cigarette, and weirdly like cherry chapstick.

Notes

A/N: there you go @MeRi! This is my gratitude to you for standing by me and reading my stories! I hope you like it XD

A/N 2: this is actually my first attempt of writing in POV, I wanted to get used to it I guess LOL