McKenna POV.
I stood leaning against the kitchen counter, my arms crossed as I waited for my pizza to finish cooking. It had been a couple of days since I had stupidly revealed the scars on my back. Everyone had just left me alone, not questioning me. But it wasn’t everyone else that was bothering me. it was my own head, my own memories. The life that I thought that I had escaped had caught up with me. My nightmares were back. I’d wake in the night, screaming, covered in sweat, the scars on my back burning with the memory of that night. Slowly it was tearing me apart all over again. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Syn and Zacky wandering into the kitchen. I looked up, narrowing my eyes suspiciously at the bundle of white fluff in Syn’s arms.
“What is that?” Syn held the bundle closer as it began to move.
“That as you so lovingly call it is Pinkly, our new puppy.” I raised an eyebrow.
“That is not a dog, that is a rat.” I replied as he set the puppy down on the kitchen floor. Zacky laughed, making Syn glare at him.
“She’s cute.”
“Then she’s a cute rat.” Syn turned his glare on me. I stuck my tongue out at him and crouched down to say hello to Pinkly. She came over instantly, wagging her tail happily. I give in. She is cute. “Syn, your other dog doesn’t even begin to behave properly. How the hell are you going to train her?” Syn grinned at me. Uh-oh. That was not good.
“I’m not.” I began to protest but he cut me off. “You are.”
“What?!” I exclaimed, making Pinkly jump backwards and growl at me. I looked at her, struggling not to laugh. “Please, just please dog. I’ve heard better growls from my Aunt’s cat.” Syn and Zacky laughed at that.
“Come on Mac, you’re training Bo for Matt.” I glared at him, trying to find an argument for that point. I sighed, giving up.
“Fair enough. Let’s just add a Maltese to the Rottweiler, Doberman, German Sheppard and Great Dane. As if the Dachshund didn’t look stupid enough.” I huffed, taking my pizza out of the oven. Syn blinked in surprise.
“You’re giving in?” I shrugged, my mind elsewhere. “Awesome!” I rolled my eyes, grabbed my plate of pizza and turned around.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don’t get used to it.”

~*~

The nightmares came again that night. Only this time, more than one night’s memories haunted me. months’ worth of terror, agony and humiliation came back, all at once. All mixed up. I woke screaming as someone shook me.
“Mac, Mac, hey shh, calm down it’s me. It’s only me.” Syn’s voice penetrated my subconscious. Slowly my screaming died and my rapid breathing began to slow. I stared at the face in front of me, gradually realising that it was Syn, not him.
“Syn?” I whispered, my voice shaky. My whole body was trembling.
“Yeah, it’s me. It’s ok.” Tension fled my limbs and I collapsed into Syn’s arms sobbing as I realised that I was safe. I was thousands of miles away from my past and the stuff of my nightmares. Syn held me tight, gently running his fingers through my sweat-drenched hair. He pulled away slowly, looking at me. I knew what he’d be seeing. I’d seen it in the mirror myself plenty of times. My eyes would be dark, disturbed. Whatever eyeliner had managed to stay on would be smudged and tear-streaked around my eyes, making them looked bruised. I’d have bags under my eyes, heavy from lack of sleep. My whole face would look gaunt, haunted. My hair would be all sweaty and horrible, tangled.
“What’s wrong Mac?” Syn frowned as I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it. I just couldn’t. reliving it every day in my head was bad enough, without having to tell someone. He got up to leave, but I caught his wrist, fear flooding my eyes.
“Don’t go. Don’t leave me.” He smiled gently and nodded at me. I moved over, letting him slip into bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. It was nice to be held. It made me feel like someone actually cared.
“Just sleep, gorgeous. I’ll stay as long as you need me.” His voice was barely a whisper as I drifted back to sleep. My last conscious thought was: Maybe someone does care.

~*~

I woke the next morning, wrapped in a pair of strong muscled arms, my head resting on a very toned chest. I bit my lip and smiled, despite the haunting images of my nightmare last night. I knew that it was totally fucked up, given how we were just thrown together, but I was really starting to like Syn. He was sweet and funny, not to mention amazingly sexy. When he wasn’t being an irritating git. But then I like how he managed to annoy me in one breath and laugh in the next. Sheesh! Talk about fucked up. My make-shift pillow moved and stretched.
“Morning.” He yawned, running a hand through my hair. I poked him in the stomach.
“Pillow, stop moving!” He laughed, moving his hand so that it rested on my waist. I felt my heartbeat increase. We just stayed like that for a bit, not talking, just enjoying being with each other.
“Are you ok, Mac?” Syn’s tone was serious. I sighed, knowing that the happiness of a few seconds ago was gone. And it wasn’t coming back. I glanced up at him, he was watching me closely. “Don’t you dare lie to me.” He warned. I closed my eyes, looking away.
“No, but I’ll survive. I always have.” I sat up, looking out the window. Behind me, Syn sat up too, his arms wrapping around my waist, holding me against him.
“Talk to me Mac.” He whispered, his lips barely inches away from my ear. “Let me in.” His hands moved from my waist, gently rubbing down my arms. I went to pull away, seconds too late. His hands froze, resting over the faint scars that criss-crossed up my wrists. “Mac, wha…” His words were barely audible as his thumbs ran along the slight ridges along my wrists. I moved, suddenly unable to stand his touch. My scars burned with the memory of his touch. I crossed my arms over my waist as I stood at the end of the bed. Syn got to his feet, facing me. He opened his mouth to speak.
“Don’t, just don’t.” My voice was shaky. I hated it. “I don’t need someone judging me, condemning me on the past.” Syn’s features instantly transformed into a scowl.
“Is that what you think of me? that I’ll judge someone just like that?” he was angry. I shook my head.
“I don’t know! It’s what everyone else in this whole goddamn world usually does as soon as they see my wrists! Why would you be any different?!” Behind me Syn swore.
“I’m not judging you, Mac. How can i? I know nothing about what caused you to self-harm.” I looked up sharply.
“It wasn’t self-harm.” Syn’s frown deepened. “It was attempted suicide.” He ran a hand through his sleep tousled hair, making it stand up on end.
“Fucking hell Mac.” I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “And I suppose that you won’t even consider talking to me about this.” He snorted. “Of course not! You never do.” I looked up at that. Hurt.
“You have no idea…”
“No! I Don’t Mac, because you won’t fucking talk to me! why is it so hard to just explain?! We’re supposed to be getting married, in case you forgot! How the hell are we going to make a marriage work when you won’t talk to me!!” I began to angrily snatch clothes off the floor as he spoke. Pulling them on, not caring that he was still yelling at me. how dare he? He has no idea what I’ve been through. What I go through every day. What it’s like for me to look a male wolf in the eye and force myself to trust them. To believe that they don’t want to use me. how hard it is for me to just force myself to live a normal life, when memories that wouldn’t be out of place in a horror movie are running around my head. Ignoring his shouts, I turned and ran from the room. Running from him. Running from the past, the present and future.