McKenna POV.
I stood staring out over the lights of L.A, trying to find my voice. To find the words to explain everything to Syn. To confess everything that I’d not told Greg. The night was so pretty, so perfect, as the fairy-lights of L.A sparkled and twinkled below us. It seemed so sad to have to destroy it with the darkness, the evil, that lay in my past. Syn’s arms wrapped around me from behind, making my heart skip as he pressed his body against mine.
“Talk to me.” He whispered, his breath tickling my ear as he leaned in close. I leaned back against him and closed my eyes, savouring the sensation of being so happy, so safe, in his arms. I spoke the least of my fears to start off with.
“What if I’m wrong? What if he does send someone?” I felt Syn nuzzle into my neck, a slight smile on his lips.
“What and if are two of the most non-threatening words you can find. But when you put them together, you find a phrase that has the power to haunt people for their whole lives.” He replied, his lips brushing against my neck as he spoke. “Val taught me that a long time ago when I had doubts about something I’d done. Don’t analyse it Mac. You know him better than most of your old pack. From what you’ve told me, he won’t send anyone. And if he does,” I felt him shrug behind me. “then it’s not the end of the world. It’s a bonus. Greg won’t mind sweetheart. He’s not the kind of Alpha, the kind of man, who would punish you because you made a mistake.” It wasn’t Greg that I was worried about.
“It’s not that.” I forced back a sob. “What if he sends Pa…” I choked on the name, barely able to get it out. It felt like a lump of bread had got stuck in my throat. The name lodged there and refused to budge. I swallowed and forced it past my lips. “Patrin.” I could almost see the frown on Syn’s face.
“Who’s Patrin?” I took a deep breath and ploughed on. I’d started this conversation and I’d be damned if I couldn’t finish it. I’d make myself finish it, no matter what.
“One of Blake’s sons. His youngest.” My voice was barely a whisper. I’m surprised that Syn heard it. That he could hear the pain in it. He stepped back, his hands moving to my hips. I let him turn me so that I was facing him. I focused on the print of his t-shirt, unable to meet his eyes, trying to find the courage to look him in the eye as I told him. He stepped back in, his hands still resting on my hips.
“Tell me.” His voice was only a little louder than mine. I bit my lip and nodded, still trying to force the words out of my head and into my mouth.
“He’s a sick, sadistic bastard who enjoys tormenting those weaker than him. Especially women.” I licked my suddenly dry lips. Syn’s grip tightened slightly on my waist, as if he had half guessed where this was going. “After my attempted suicide, I was the weakest that I’d been in a long time, both physically and mentally. Blake had me under 24 hour watch in order to make sure that I didn’t attempt suicide again. Patrin used the time he was on guard duty to amuse himself.”
“Mac, don’t. It’s ok.” Murmured Syn, his grip so tight that it was almost bruising. I shook my head. I had to get this out. If I didn’t say it now, I never would.
“He raped me. repeatedly. It didn’t stop after the guards stopped. Blake knew, but he thought that it would help keep me under control. It did for a while, but not for that long” I shrugged. “I guess I’m a difficult person to control.” He half smiled a little at that. Finally I worked the courage up to meet his gaze. I could see the raw emotion there, the pain for what I had gone through. I couldn’t believe that I’d fallen for such an amazing guy.
“Jesus Mac.” I could sense the anger and pain in his voice. “How the fuck have you managed to survive that?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. But I have. It may have left me scarred, but I’ve survived Syn. Just focus on that. It’s how I get through my worse days.” His grip loosened and he pulled me right against his body, his face buried in my hair.
“I know, but I’ve said things to you that were totally unfair.”
“You didn’t know, entirely because I didn’t tell you. Don’t worry about it.” I replied, wrapping my arms around his waist and closing my eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall. “I’m just scared that he’ll send Patrin just to spite me. I don’t know how I’ll react if I see him again.” Syn’s lips pressed against my forehead.
“I promise you that if he comes, he won’t get anywhere near you babe.” I rested my head against his shoulder and let the L.A sounds cocoon us, shielding us from the world.