Tributes to The Rev

December 12, 2013


„I have no idea what’s so funny about it.” I said a little annoyed.
“Oh nothing really. It’s just … I don’t see the point in visiting a grave. A grave of a guy you didn’t even know.” My best friend chuckled as she stopped at a red light.
“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you.” I mumbled and looked out of my window.
It was Thursday, around 2 pm and the sun was shining in OC, California. My best friend Elisabeth and I were driving down Main Street to get to the Good Shepherd Cemetery because I wanted to visit a grave before I left back home on Saturday. For her it didn’t make any sense. Why would you visit a grave of a person you never knew, in a town you have only been to once before? For me it meant so much more.
When we reached the parking lot of the cemetery I grew a little nervous. I had no idea why; I mean I have been to graveyards before. Maybe it was because of the person and the story behind it. I guess I will never know.
This nervous fluttering in the pit of my stomach grew with every step that brought me closer to the entrance. It was a beautiful iron gate with sandy colored stone pillars. The middle pillar with the name sign of the cemetery was almost covered in a bougainvillea, a pretty climbing plant with pink blossoms. I looked down to my feet, seeing them walking past this pillar and right inside a place of peace, sadness and memories. I felt it. I felt it all rushing through me: The cries of the loved ones left behind, the light laughter of them remembering happy moments, their silence when they let go. It was a familiar feeling that always managed to bring me close to tears. And even though this wasn’t the graveyard where members of my family rested in peace I thought back in my own memories where they lived on forever.
Looking up from the concrete beneath my feet I felt a little surprised and I guess my face showed it because Elisabeth chuckled lightly.
“What?” She asked as we started walking.
“This is not a graveyard. This is a park.” I said in awe. That was when I spotted the countless rectangular memorial plates in the grass. That was something completely new to me. German graveyards were filled with hedges, standing tombstones and huge trees. They were all in all pretty dark and more sad than anything. So seeing this open park like cemetery with the sun shining onto the graves filled me more with some sort of joy, knowing that those people were in a different and maybe better place now. I wasn’t sad at all. I actually enjoyed walking along the graves reading the inscriptions and wondering what the stories of those people were.
After a long while of searching, we finally found the plate we were looking for.

Beloved Son, Brother, Best Friend
James Owen Sullivan
1981 – 2009
Jimmy jumped into life
and never touched bottom

There it was: The grave that was dug way too early in time.
Ignoring the ignorant couple talking loudly on the phone next to his grave I took off my sunglasses as I crouched down and lightly touched the grass in front of the plate. My best friend stepped back giving me some space as I zoned out completely. With the sun shining on my back a heavy sadness was washing through me and forced my eyes closed.
“Hi Jimmy. My name is Katie and we haven’t met before. Well, technically we can never really meet but considering that I now believe in an eternal life after our bodies crumbled into dust I think this also pretty much counts as a first meeting before I join the afterlife. So yeah … how are you doing? You probably miss your family and friends, especially during this time of the year. It’s been what? … four years now since you left this place leaving them behind devastated. No offence but it’s true. And not just them. There are so many people in this world that miss you and love you with all of their hearts. I witnessed this sadness and pain with my own two eyes late November when your brothers played a show in Munich after god knows how many years. That girl next to me cried her eyes out while they played Fictions. Even I had to struggle holding back tears and believe me when I say that I hardly cry for people I have never met. But since I have learned of Avenged early this year I wasn’t able to listen to So Far Away and Fiction for more than three times each. The pain of your brothers and best friends is so touchable, so apparent that one forgets about one’s own problems. Nothing else matters but their pain, their anger, their question why.
We will never fully understand why such a wonderful, inspiring and talented man like you had to leave so early from this life. Matt said that you once said you weren’t going to live past 30 but who would have thought that you were blessed, or cursed, with the gift of foresight?
Although I haven’t been part of the family up until January this year and therefore didn’t support your brothers in their pain I can know the following: They are strong. Jimmy, they are so strong. They miss you so freaking much and still struggle with this huge loss every day but you know what? They are doing so great. Matt and Val have this beautiful little boy that brings back joy into everyone’s hearts. Short shit got married and Arin is an absolute beast at the drums. You would be so proud of him. Of all of them really. Even though the music is so different now it is still absolutely mind-blowing. But you’ve probably heard it already.
I just want you to know that even after all this time you have still a major impact on this family and this fandom. You will live forever in so many hearts and in so many memories.
And please don’t worry about the guys or your family. I know in my heart that they are ok. The love you woke in their hearts is strong and everlasting.
It’s an honor to walk an earth that you have left your footprint in. You freaking giant.”
I opened my eyes and slowly stood. I felt amazing. When I was sad when I started to talk to him I now felt a goofy happiness. I felt like skipping back to the car and screaming from the top of my lungs that I loved being in Huntington Beach. With a light smile and looking down at his name I silently prayed for his family, for Matt, Johnny, Brian, Zacky and Arin and their families as well as for the people I have met through their music.
Feeling like I was floating I put my sunglasses back on and turned to Elisabeth with a big fat grin on my face.
“Do you want to take a picture?” She asked fishing for my camera in her bag.
“No. I’m good.” I said and started to walk back to the entrance.
“You sure?”
“Yep. It’s macabre anyways.”
“Very well.” She shrugged. In silence we walked over the green and fluffy grass. I knew Elisabeth was curious of what I did back there and why I wanted to come here in the first place. And after I counted down to three in my head she broke the silence.
“So … that’s it?”
“Yeah. I just talked to him and prayed.” I said lightly.
“Well it’s too late for that.”
“Hu?” I was confused.
“He is already dead.” She said matter-of-factly.
“I know. It’s obvious since we just stood in front of his grave.” I was still super confused.
“I mean, it’s useless to pray for someone who is already dead. It won’t save him.” Now I knew what she meant.
“Oooohhhh. No, I wasn’t praying for him really. I was praying for his family and his best friends. He had died a few days after Christmas so this time of the year is certainly very hard for them.” I explained but she sighed as we walked around the corner to the parking lot.
“I know you don’t understand my reasons but this band came into my life and flipped it around like a pancake. I got to know some awesome people. For example … You remember Lindsay, right? Without Avenged I wouldn’t have met her.” My best friend smiled and started the engine of our rental car after we got in. The sun was setting as we drove off towards the freeway. We didn’t talk about it anymore. This was something we would never have in common but that was ok. In the end she accompanied me and I was more than grateful for that.

I needed to see Jimmy’s grave while I was there in Southern California. Ever since I started listening to Avenged Sevenfold I wanted to tell him so many things and that was what I actually said to him. I have no idea what those feelings that I had at the beginning and at the end of my conversation with him meant but it felt like he wanted to tell me thanks.
Thinking back and writing this down makes me want to cry. It was an experience that was more moving than I had ever imagined it to be. But I’m happy that it happened. And I’m happy that I can call myself a member of such an amazing family.
Thank you, Jimmy, for creating something so beautiful. Thank you, for moving hearts beyond the afterlife. Thank you, for everything.

Hail to the king.
Hail to the one.
R.I.P James Owen Sullivan

Notes

Hey guys,
Sorry I post this so late. This is a report of what really happened on Dec 12, 2013. I wanted to share this moment with you in remembarence of a man that moved so many lives, that still moves thousands more. I wish I could have met him in this life but knowing that I will see him in heaven makes me happy.
Raise a glass in reverance! He lives on in our hearts and our memories <3