Life's A Riot.
Thirty Five.
JC POV.
“We see these stones falling from the skies on fire.” I sang along with Ronnie Radke as I blow dried my newly dyed hair. I’d gotten bored of brown. I grabbed my brush and began to use it to straighten my hair as I dried it – a trick that I’d discovered saved a tonne of time and prevented me from my hair turning into an unruly mess once dried. My phone buzzed on the side as I sang, indicating that I had a new message. I waited until I’d finished my hair before checking it. It wouldn’t be anything important, probably just a message from the company telling me about a new rewards scheme or some other kind of bullshit. It was from Johnny. I’m on the bus if you wanna come talk (: xxx I sighed and began to text back. It had been two days since Syn had told me that he loved me and surprisingly, all of them had just left it alone and given me space. This was the first that I’d heard from any of them about ‘talking about it’. Give me five minutes and I’ll come down. Xxx It seemed slightly odd to me that he was on the bus when he had a hotel room to relax in, but then, that was my brother – odd. I quickly put some concealer and eyeliner on for the sake of any fans or photographers that might be lurking outside the hotel. Something that I’d learnt quickly since we’d been on the road – well since I’d stepped into Jimmy’s shoes really – was that you could expect to find fans (from the most lovely people to the most obsessive stalkers) and photographers almost anywhere. I quickly tied my now black hair up into a messy ponytail and grabbed my key and phone, heading down to the tour bus to find my brother.
~*~
Thankfully the parking lot was empty of any fans or photographers, so I managed to make my way unmolested to the bus. I pulled the door open and stepped into the bus, which was darker than it would normally be if one of us were on it.
“Yo Christ, what’s up with the lights?” I called as I wandered down the bus. The lounge area was dimly lit, so I headed for there, presuming that my brother was located somewhere near there. “Hey Johnny, any chance of some proper light?” I grumbled as I stubbed my toe on something, before stepping into the dim light. As I did so, someone began to play a guitar. My eyes adjusted and discovered that my brother wasn’t on the bus, but Syn was. He was sat, on one of the sofas an acoustic guitar resting across his lap and surrounded by lit candles. That explained the dim light. I felt butterflies begin to flutter their way around my digestive tract as he began to sing one of my favourite Papa Roach songs.
“Cause I need you, right here, by my side
Cause you're everything I'm not, in my life
We're indestructible, we are untouchable,
Nothing can take us down tonight
You are so beautiful, it should be criminal
You should be mine.
And if we make it out alive
I promise you that we will never die
No matter what, I got your back
I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that
I swear to God, we'll be okay
So believe me when I say, you're the one
They'll never forgive us for the things we've done
No way to justify, we got no alibi
We are alive, we're on the run
Just put your hand in mine
This shouldn't be a crime, what have we done?
And if we make it through the night
I promise you this love will never die
No matter what, I got your back
I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that
I swear to God, we'll be okay
But if we die, before we wake
I'll promise you forever and my soul today
No matter what, we'll be okay
Everybody said that we would never last
If they could see us now I bet they'd take it back
It doesn't matter what we do or what we say
Cause nothing matters anyway.” I was fully aware that I had tears running down my cheeks as I mouthed the words along with him, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I’d lost myself in the moment that he’d created. I’ve always loved his voice, it was so different to Matt’s, but it was amazing. His eyes would occasionally flick up and meet mine, before they looked back down at the guitar.
“No matter what, I got your back
I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that
I swear to God, we'll be okay
And if we die before we wake
I'll promise you forever and my soul today
No matter what, we'll be okay.” He finished and set the guitar to one side, getting to his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets. Carefully, as if he was afraid to see my reaction, he met my eyes. I bit my lip, the tears still fell and the butterflies still flew. My heart began to pound as he stepped closer.
“Cait, just hear me out ok?” He began, his voice quiet. He paused, as if searching for the right words. He seemed to find them a few seconds later. “I never wanted you to find out like that, Cait, never. But I’m not going to lie to you; I do love you. I’ve been in love with you for years, it’s just taken me a long time to be able to say it.” He withdrew a hand from his pocket and wiped the tears away, his hand cupping one of my cheeks. “Hell, it took me a long time to admit it to myself.” He added, shaking his head. His chocolate eyes looked deep into mine. “I’m not expecting you to suddenly come out and say that you love me too. But we both know that you care about me, that you’re attracted to me. Before the other day, we’d been getting on so well. We’d been getting somewhere Cait. I’m not going to let us loose that, not because of this.” His hand dropped from my cheek and he pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his neck, forcing myself not to sob. Jesus, how had he managed to turn me into an emotional wreck? “Please tell me that these are happy tears Cait.” He murmured. I smiled into his neck and nodded.
“Of course they are.” I loosened my grip a little and took a small step back, so that I was still in his arms. “Sorry, I don’t quite know why I’m crying.” Still smiling, I shook my head as I tried to figure it out. He laughed slightly, moving one of his hands to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
“It doesn’t matter.” I turned my head slightly, so that I was looking at the candlelit bus. I couldn’t believe that he had done all of this for me.
“No-one’s ever done something like this for me.” I murmured, more to myself than him. He tugged me a little closer.
“Then I’m glad that I was the first.” My smile grew wider and I rested my head on his shoulder again. We stood like that for a while before Syn moved so that he could look at me properly. “Come sit with me for a bit before we have to go back?” I nodded and let him pull me over to the couch.
“We see these stones falling from the skies on fire.” I sang along with Ronnie Radke as I blow dried my newly dyed hair. I’d gotten bored of brown. I grabbed my brush and began to use it to straighten my hair as I dried it – a trick that I’d discovered saved a tonne of time and prevented me from my hair turning into an unruly mess once dried. My phone buzzed on the side as I sang, indicating that I had a new message. I waited until I’d finished my hair before checking it. It wouldn’t be anything important, probably just a message from the company telling me about a new rewards scheme or some other kind of bullshit. It was from Johnny. I’m on the bus if you wanna come talk (: xxx I sighed and began to text back. It had been two days since Syn had told me that he loved me and surprisingly, all of them had just left it alone and given me space. This was the first that I’d heard from any of them about ‘talking about it’. Give me five minutes and I’ll come down. Xxx It seemed slightly odd to me that he was on the bus when he had a hotel room to relax in, but then, that was my brother – odd. I quickly put some concealer and eyeliner on for the sake of any fans or photographers that might be lurking outside the hotel. Something that I’d learnt quickly since we’d been on the road – well since I’d stepped into Jimmy’s shoes really – was that you could expect to find fans (from the most lovely people to the most obsessive stalkers) and photographers almost anywhere. I quickly tied my now black hair up into a messy ponytail and grabbed my key and phone, heading down to the tour bus to find my brother.
~*~
Thankfully the parking lot was empty of any fans or photographers, so I managed to make my way unmolested to the bus. I pulled the door open and stepped into the bus, which was darker than it would normally be if one of us were on it.
“Yo Christ, what’s up with the lights?” I called as I wandered down the bus. The lounge area was dimly lit, so I headed for there, presuming that my brother was located somewhere near there. “Hey Johnny, any chance of some proper light?” I grumbled as I stubbed my toe on something, before stepping into the dim light. As I did so, someone began to play a guitar. My eyes adjusted and discovered that my brother wasn’t on the bus, but Syn was. He was sat, on one of the sofas an acoustic guitar resting across his lap and surrounded by lit candles. That explained the dim light. I felt butterflies begin to flutter their way around my digestive tract as he began to sing one of my favourite Papa Roach songs.
“Cause I need you, right here, by my side
Cause you're everything I'm not, in my life
We're indestructible, we are untouchable,
Nothing can take us down tonight
You are so beautiful, it should be criminal
You should be mine.
And if we make it out alive
I promise you that we will never die
No matter what, I got your back
I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that
I swear to God, we'll be okay
So believe me when I say, you're the one
They'll never forgive us for the things we've done
No way to justify, we got no alibi
We are alive, we're on the run
Just put your hand in mine
This shouldn't be a crime, what have we done?
And if we make it through the night
I promise you this love will never die
No matter what, I got your back
I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that
I swear to God, we'll be okay
But if we die, before we wake
I'll promise you forever and my soul today
No matter what, we'll be okay
Everybody said that we would never last
If they could see us now I bet they'd take it back
It doesn't matter what we do or what we say
Cause nothing matters anyway.” I was fully aware that I had tears running down my cheeks as I mouthed the words along with him, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I’d lost myself in the moment that he’d created. I’ve always loved his voice, it was so different to Matt’s, but it was amazing. His eyes would occasionally flick up and meet mine, before they looked back down at the guitar.
“No matter what, I got your back
I'll take a bullet for you if it comes to that
I swear to God, we'll be okay
And if we die before we wake
I'll promise you forever and my soul today
No matter what, we'll be okay.” He finished and set the guitar to one side, getting to his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets. Carefully, as if he was afraid to see my reaction, he met my eyes. I bit my lip, the tears still fell and the butterflies still flew. My heart began to pound as he stepped closer.
“Cait, just hear me out ok?” He began, his voice quiet. He paused, as if searching for the right words. He seemed to find them a few seconds later. “I never wanted you to find out like that, Cait, never. But I’m not going to lie to you; I do love you. I’ve been in love with you for years, it’s just taken me a long time to be able to say it.” He withdrew a hand from his pocket and wiped the tears away, his hand cupping one of my cheeks. “Hell, it took me a long time to admit it to myself.” He added, shaking his head. His chocolate eyes looked deep into mine. “I’m not expecting you to suddenly come out and say that you love me too. But we both know that you care about me, that you’re attracted to me. Before the other day, we’d been getting on so well. We’d been getting somewhere Cait. I’m not going to let us loose that, not because of this.” His hand dropped from my cheek and he pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his neck, forcing myself not to sob. Jesus, how had he managed to turn me into an emotional wreck? “Please tell me that these are happy tears Cait.” He murmured. I smiled into his neck and nodded.
“Of course they are.” I loosened my grip a little and took a small step back, so that I was still in his arms. “Sorry, I don’t quite know why I’m crying.” Still smiling, I shook my head as I tried to figure it out. He laughed slightly, moving one of his hands to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
“It doesn’t matter.” I turned my head slightly, so that I was looking at the candlelit bus. I couldn’t believe that he had done all of this for me.
“No-one’s ever done something like this for me.” I murmured, more to myself than him. He tugged me a little closer.
“Then I’m glad that I was the first.” My smile grew wider and I rested my head on his shoulder again. We stood like that for a while before Syn moved so that he could look at me properly. “Come sit with me for a bit before we have to go back?” I nodded and let him pull me over to the couch.
7/16/13