All I Ask Is... Why?

-EIGHT MONTHS LATER-

By now, Evelyn and I would be married and our baby would be settling in his or her new room. I still have no word from her or from any other hospital in the state of California or Texas that Evelyn has given birth. I'm slowly recovering from the fact that she is no longer with me, but it still hurts like hell when I go home and see her pictures almost everywhere. Everything still reminds me of her, even VW Bettles and sex shops remind me of her, simply for the fact of that being part of her when we first met. I have been taking therapy sessions three to five times a week to talk about Evelyn. The guys help me out the best they can, but I can't even hang around with Zacky and Mercedes comfortably anymore without looking at Mercedes and thinking of Evelyn. Although for sisters, they look nothing alike, but I still manage to see a little bit of Evelyn in the eyes of Mercedes. Nobody has heard a single word from her since she left, and Johnny has been repeating the same thing to me for the past week. "Dude, it's been ten months. She's clearly not coming back. Just man up and forget her."

Today we were all at Matt's house to have a small gathering simply for the band and their women and children, Mercedes showed up and she looks better than she did four months ago. Since finding out that her younger sister has been missing, she wouldn't eat or sleep at all. She looked just as bad as I did, but she also enrolled herself into therapy and slowly began regaining her healthy habits. Baby Isabelle is getting bigger by the minute, and to my surprise, she looks more like Evelyn than Mercedes, only Isabelle has Zacky's green eyes. We all spent time together inside the man cave that is Matt and Val's basement. Isabelle and River were playing together with baby toys in one spot, the girls not far from them, and us guys on the other side of the room. Matt was talking business as usual for the upcoming tour and details on our new album. While the rest of the guys were pitching in ideas, I was lost in thought as to where Isabelle had gone to. What our baby looks like, and if they are okay. "Syn? Syn! Are you going to be writing any more songs for the new album?" Matt finally spoke.

The guys all stared at me, anxious for my answer. I took a small drag of the already lit cancer stick in between my fingers and blew out the smoke before I spoke. "Oh, yeah sure."

"Were you even listening?" Zacky asked concerned.

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Johnny shook his head slightly. "No. No you weren't. You were thinking about her again weren't you?"

I shot a expressionless look at Johnny. "And what if I was?"

He chuckled in frustration. "Dude, I've told you time and time again. Just. Let. Her. Go. She's been gone for ten months and I understand you miss her, but this is not you! Man up and forget her already!"

The room grew still as my expression grew from none to ice cold. I got up and grabbed Johnny by the collar of his shirt and lifted him up real close to me. "You think it's that easy?! You don't understand because you don't have kids! Evelyn is out there somewhere with my newborn child and it worries me every fucking day! So sorry if my love for them is bothering you so fucking much!"

Everyone looked at me in shock and the kids began crying. Valary instantly rushed to River as I let go of Johnny and quickly started walking out of the house.

"Brian, wait!" Mercedes shouted as she chased me outside. I turned around to look at her to see that she was still in shock. "Why? Why didn't you tell me that Evelyn was pregnant?"

I sighed. "I assumed you already knew. I thought everyone knew that she was. That's why I was acting really weird for the entire two weeks before she left. I panicked, and I abandoned her. She was angry with me and the news about Michelle didn't help anything. Matt told me he told her mostly everything. She caught Michelle in my room with me because she was helping me get into bed because I was drunk and she wanted to take me back home to Evelyn. In hopes to make peace with her, but when Evelyn saw her, she freaked out and she packed up a few things and left. I haven't seen or heard from her since. I just hope that she's okay and nothing bad happened to the baby."

Tears began to run down Mercedes' face. "I wish she would've told me." Anger started to show in her eyes. "My sister is gone, alone and possibly a mother, and it's all your fault." She snared at me before walking away from me. I could tell that she wanted to slap me, but her words stung more than I'm sure her action would've. Only because it's true, Evelyn is gone and it's all my fault.



[EVELYN]

-TEN MONTHS AFTER THE INCIDENT IN CALIFORNIA. LOCATION: BELFAST, IRELAND-

Moving to Belfast was the boldest decision I've ever made next to accepting Brian's love, but the decision wasn't an easy one for me to make. Since I left Huntington Beach, I spent the first two months back in Texas, but instead of going back to my old apartment in Dallas, I stayed in a hotel in San Antonio. After the two months, I was in debate about going back to Brian in California, and if it wasn't for the idea of him being reunited with Michelle, I would've been on the first flight back. Instead, I spent the rest of my pregnancy in hotels all over New Mexico. In one hotel, an older woman, who looked like an Indian, owned the hotel and knew right away that I was in trouble. She opened her home to me and I stayed with her, I was seven months pregnant then. She helped me by getting me and the unborn baby back to our healthy state, every now and again she would perform rituals to take away any evil that tried to come my way, and I told her all about my past, all leading up to the point of me running away from California. She agreed to help me by letting me stay until the baby was born, after that, I was already convinced that I had to leave the country. The risk of me being seen here in New Mexico was high enough as it is, but once the baby was born, I couldn't risk Brian finding out and try to take her away from me. On the ninth month, I gave birth to my baby girl Beatrix Eliza Haner in the bathtub. It was only fair that I gave her the last name of her biological father. I spent two days in bedrest while the woman took care of my child. Once I was healed enough to move, I packed my things and took Beatrix with me to the first ship out to Ireland.

We arrived in a week, and it was more beautiful than I imagined. I held Bea in my arms as we met with a driver that I ordered to wait for me three days before I left the United States. He smiled at me and greeted me with a handshake. "Aye, Miss Mendes. Welcome to Ireland."

"Thank you. Bea and I are happy to be here." I smiled back as he opened the door to the back seat before placing my luggage in the trunk and getting in to make the drive all the way back into the city of Belfast. As we drove back, Bea fell asleep in my arms and I continued to stare out of the window. I couldn't get over how beautiful it is here. This was our new home.

We finally reached a small two story house that I had bought online while in America. The owner had a visit with me via Skype and we made our arrangements there. "Looks like we are here Miss Mendes. Shall I help you with your luggage?" He asked politely.
I nodded. "That would be great."


-THREE MONTHS LATER-

The money was getting tight and I knew that if I wanted to keep food on the table for me and Bea, I needed to find a job. I looked on the newspaper for both job listings and babysitters, but so far, nothing was working. Today, Bea and I were taking a walk around town and I came across a studio that looked to be used for photography. We walked inside and saw girls modeling and a crew all over the place. Everyone looked to be working hard, and that was when I noticed one of the models on a cover of a magazine on a table next to me. The model's name was Audrey Blackman, and judging from this magazine, she is a pretty big deal here in Ireland. I looked a little into her article and found out that she is the same age as me, and even listed me as her second most favorite American models, her first is Playboy model Holly Madison.

"Miss, I'm sorry. This studio is for staff and models only. I'm going to have to ask you and your child to leave." One man came and told me. He looked to be an assistant.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just curious. But do you by any chance have any job openings?" I smiled at him.

He shook his head slightly. "Sorry, we are not looking for new models now. Please leave."

"Jackson! Didn't your mother ever teach you some manners?" Audrey said as she walked closer to us. She smiled at me and Bea.

"But Audrey, she was interferring with your photo shoot." He shot back.

"Maybe to you, but you clearly do not know who this is. This is Evelyn Mendes, one of America's most famous young models. And girlfriend to Synyster Gates." She shot back at him. "We have American royalty in the building and I demand that you show her some respect."

Jackson then put his head down in shame and turned over to me, not looking at me. "I apologize Miss Mendes." He said before turning and walking back to his desk.

I chuckled a little. "Thanks for that."

"Don't mention it. Jackson can be a bit of an ass, but he does have his good days." Audrey's smile grew bigger. "I'm Audrey Blackman by the way. I can't believe you are here in my studio. What are you doing in Belfast?"

I shrugged slightly. "Needed a new environment for the baby and I."

Audrey then kneeled down to meet eye level with Bea. "Well hello there precious." She then looked up at me. "Oh she is simply gorgeous."

For the rest of the day, Audrey and I got to know each other a little better and we started to really become good friends. She told me that she was getting kicked out of the family home and modeling everyday was the only thing that was helping her get by. I offered my home to her and she gladly accepted to live with me and Bea. In exchange, she set me up with a modeling job in her studio. It would only be a small photoshoot at a time, but it was an offer I couldn't refuse. I knew that this was going to be great.


-A YEAR AND A HALF SINCE EVELYN LEFT CALIFORNIA- [BRIAN]

We are now going on almost two years since Evelyn left and since then, I safely stored away all pictures of Evelyn, and even locked the door to the room that I transformed into the nursery. Since everyone found out that Evelyn was pregnant when she left, their blame to her sudden disappearance has been on me. Everyone, except for Arin and Kimberly, blamed me for Evelyn leaving. I've been told things that I already knew, such as: 'it was my fault', 'I fucked up', and the famous one 'I was a dumbass for treating her like that'. This is all something I hear everyday from everyone, but mostly from Mercedes, and as much as I liked her before she started hating me, she's not making it any easier to let go. Zacky tries everyday to make her look at the positive things and make it seem like it wasn't my fault, but he loved Evelyn as much as both Mercedes and I did, he saw her as his little sister and the fact that she left because of me was making it that much harder for him to defend me. Eventually he gave up and started seeing everything the way Mercedes was seeing it all.


Today, Arin and Kimberly invited me over to their house for dinner and so Arin could discuss with me his ideas on what we should do for the new album. He also wanted to talk to me about starting a side project band that featured a female lead singer, only problem is that we didn't have a singer to fill in the image. He thought about asking Zacky to join in too, but seeing as though Zacky and I are not on the best of terms right now, it didn't come off as a good idea. Kimberly was making her famous secret recipe lasagne for dinner and hot fudge cake for dessert. I can see why Arin fell in love with this girl, she's one hell of a chef in the kitchen.

Once I got there, Kimberly must have heard me pull up because as soon as I got out of the car, she rushed to the door and smiled at me with the biggest cheesy smile I've ever seen on a girl's face. She waved at me excitedly, ingredients of the cake on her apron and face. "Hi Brian! Come on in! The lasagne is almost ready." She then rushed back in. "Arin! Brian is here!" I heard her shout to Arin, who was upstairs in his office.

I made my way inside and closed the door behind me. The house smelled like heaven, the mix of cake and lasagne filled the entire house. This was the best thing I've smelled in months, I could already hear my stomach growling like crazy. Arin rushed downstares and smiled at me. "Hey bro, you made it." He said greeting me with a quick hug.

"You kidding? No way I could resist dinner if Kim is cooking. Now if you were cooking on the other hand, I might not have showed up." I chuckled.

"Fuck you." He chuckled and lightly punched my arm. "Hey sweetie! How much longer?" He called to Kim.

"Uh, ten more minutes! Brian make yourself at home!" She called back from the kitchen.

"Will do, Kim!" I called back.

"So I still wanted to talk business with you if you're up for it? At least until dinner is ready, I know Kim hates it when I talk business during dinner." He chuckled as we walked to his second office next to his living room.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to piss off the Mrs." I laughed.

He laughed lightly. "Fuck that." His face quickly grew serious. "But anyway, how are you doing man? Has everything been going okay?"

I knew exactly what he was asking about and quite frankly, Arin was really the only person other than my dad and therapist that I could talk to about Evelyn. I sighed a little. "I'm surviving." We made it into his office and I left the door open. I sat down on the small couch and rested my forehead in the palm of my hands. "It's just been really hard. I miss her like crazy. Every day I wonder where she could be and how has she not been spotted yet by fans or paparazzi. That and I wonder if the baby is okay. If we had a boy or a girl, if she even kept the baby for that matter."

Arin nodded lightly. "I understand. I would go crazy if Kim ever left me like that, but despite what everyone else is saying, Evelyn leaving is not your fault. She walked in on an accident and she didn't want to hear the truth behind it all. I understand leaving for a couple of days, but leaving you and with the baby for that matter is kind of cold and selfish of her. The least she could've done is wrote a damn letter to let you know how she is, or even send you pictures of the baby. She doesn't look like the type of girl who would get an abortion, but then again, Evelyn never striked me as the type of girl who would give up on you so quickly."

I shook my head a little. "She didn't give up on me just like that, she tried with me. It is my fault because I screwed up. I wasn't there for her like I should have been, like she wanted me to. Instead I blew her and the baby off for partying and drinking every night. And when she walked in on me and Michelle, that was pretty much the icing on the cake. She didn't want to hear it and I couldn't blame her. As much as I would've loved to recieve a letter or photos from her, I know her too well to know she will stick with her guns and avoid me and anything that has to do with me as much as possible. So the chances of her getting an abortion are pretty high."

"True. But, if she still has the baby, then she doesn't want to avoid you just yet. Maybe she just wants you to find her. You just haven't really snapped into looking for her yet."

Before I could respond back, Kimberly pokes her head in the room and knocks twice at the door. "Dinner's ready you guys."

Arin and I got up and practically raced to the dining room, where Kimberly has pretty much set out an entire feast for us three. The feast included mashed potatoes, green beans, tossed cesar salad, corn, and homemade brown gravy. And the desert was the center piece of the entire table, which made me and Arin drool. "Damn Kim, you've really been cooking your heart out today." I chuckled and took my place at the table.

She giggled. "Well, it's not much, but it's enough because I know you guys can eat." I smiled at her as we all linked hands in for a prayer. I'm not really a religious type of guy, but I know that both Kimberly and Arin are kept well in touch with their religions and as a guest in their house, it was only fair of me to respect that. But, if there is a God, I will pray that he takes care of Evelyn and my baby, and bring them home. Or at least let me know where they are. "Dear Lord, we thank you for the food that you have blessed us with this evening, we thank you for our homes, our health, our family and our friends. Thank you for giving us all the strength to wake up and live everyday, thank you for Brian's well being through a tough time. And Lord we pray that Evelyn and the baby are in good health and are safe. And hope that they will come home to Brian where they belong. In your name we pray, Amen."

"Amen." Both Arin and I said together before we all started digging in to dinner. "Thank you." I said to Kimberly, giving her a small smile.

She smiled back at me, knowing exactly what I was thanking her for. "You're welcome Brian."


Dinner was so good and I could proudly say that I'm stuffed until next week. Kimberly only ate one serving of dinner and desert and left the rest for Arin and I to finish. The entire dinner we spent just talking about work and family. I know that Arin said Kimberly didn't like business talk at the dinner table, but she understood that aside from the topic about Evelyn, work was all I had left to talk about, so she let it slide just for tonight. Arin and I were downstairs in the basement working on new instrumental ideas for the new album while Kimberly went to work on her paper for college. She said she was doing research on celebrities outside of America. It was an interesting topic to write about for an English class, but I haven't been to school in years so I wouldn't know.

Halfway through practicing, Kimberly rushed her way into the basement. "Brian!" She shouted, but the drumming and guitar were too loud for us to hear her. She called us about two more times before rushing over and unplugging me.

"Hey, hey hey!" I look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Baby, we're practicing." Arin said.

"Yeah that's great and I'm sorry for inturrupting, but Brian, there is something you really need to see. Something important." She said as she started making her way to the steps.

"If it's a video of a ten year old playing Hail to the King, I'm not really interested." I said as I tried to plug my guitar back in my amp.

"No! It's much more important than that! I found Evelyn."

Her words made me freeze in place and the entire room grew quiet enough that you could hear my guitar pick fall from my fingers. My heart began to race as I looked back up at her. "If this is a joke Kim, I swear on-"

"It's not a joke Brian. I found her. Please, let me show you."

Just then, all three of us rushed upstairs to Arin's office and Kimberly pulled up a modeling agency website. Flipping through their album of fresh face models, there she was. Under the photo read: 'Evelyn Mendes, 22, former model for Hot Topic clothing in her home town of Huntington Beach, CA. Evelyn is better known for being the fiance of Avenged Sevenfold lead guitarist Synyster Gates, and being the younger sister for maternity model Mercedes Baker, who is married to Avenged Sevenfold rhythm guitarist Zacky Vengeance. Evelyn is the mother of an eight month year old daughter and was recently transferred here to Belfast, Ireland. For more information on this all American beauty, click here.' Kimberly clicked the link and it showed an entire biography about Evelyn and even a photo gallery of her modeling and being spotted around Belfast. One picture pulled up of her pushing a stroller and hanging out with another model named Audrey Blackman. And in the stroller, there was my baby girl. My daughter. A tear fell down from my face. They were both so beautiful, but what they were doing all the way in Ireland, I have no clue, but this made me start to believe that there indeed is a God.

Notes

Hope you DeathBats enjoyed this story! Unfortunately this is the ending to this story, but look forward to the sequel 'No More Lies, No More Pain', and I am so excited to get to work on it. By the way, which band member should I write about next? The choice is yours! Love you DeathBats! <3