A Gift or A Curse

“No sign of him?”

Blake shook her head. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying so much, and her mind hay wired. She finally met Leana, the love of Jimmy’s life. She was beautiful. No surprise Jimmy would fall in love with her when he was alive. Blake didn’t know whether she had the right to feel jealous, or secured because only she can see him now.

“Damn it Jimmy. Where did you go?”

Blake just watched Michelle pacing around the living room, mumbling to herself.

“Maybe he really is gone. May be we should carry on with our lives like he didn’t even come back-”

“For the love of God, Blake! Get a grip okay? He hasn’t gone, not yet! I can feel it. He’s my best friend. Our best friend. He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye!”

Blake flinched when Michelle raised her voice one octave higher. She had never been yelled at by her before, at least not in these past couple of days of their encounter. Blake was a guest, and Michelle had always been attentive and warm. But today, Michelle just lost it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scream at you. I just – I can’t bear losing him again. We gotta search for him. Any way we can.”

“How?”

Michelle put her arms across her chest and thought deeply.

“Remember when Matt said that he used to find some paranormal people to search for Jimmy? You wanna try that?”

Blake scrunched up her brows together. She was considered as paranormal herself, only she didn’t have any ritual of calling a dead person over. After a long thought and silence between them both, she nodded. She’d give anything to find Jimmy back.

****************************************************************************************************

Brian unplugged his Schecter and placed it neatly on its stand. Cracking his neck twice, he went over to Arin who was still wearing his headphones on, drumsticks glued to his hands.

“Kid, call it a night. You need some rest.”

Arin yanked his headphones away. “Nah. Just a few more hours. I need to get it right for God Hates Us. Well, yeah, God hates me.”

Brian laughed. “Don’t say that. You’re improving. Lay low on the cymbals though. Couldn’t hear a fucking thing when you smash it too hard.”

“Sorry.”

Brian shook his head. If this was Jimmy, he would never say sorry. He would crash his cymbals even harder just to annoy him. “Don’t worry about it, kid. Well, I’m outta here. See you tomorrow.”

“Hey, Brian wait. Did they…did they found Jimmy yet?”

Brian took a deep breath and exhaled it heavily. “Not yet. I don’t know where else they will search for him.”

Arin nodded and rubbed his neck. “If – if Jimmy really stays, will I be – you know, dismissed?”

Brian bulged his eyes at him. “Dude, what crack are you smoking now? Are you fucking kidding me? Jimmy is irreplaceable, I told you so many times. But so are you. Stop kicking yourself over it and kick your bass pedal instead!”

He sighed and went out of the room after saying their goodbyes. Arin was left alone in the studio, Matthew had long gone earlier than the rest of them because he was so worried about his wife, Johnny and Zacky was arguing about small things like always and they headed to the bar to continue fighting there.

Arin always had a weak spot while playing God Hates Us track. He couldn’t yet figure out how Jimmy came up with such difficult drumming notations, with such fast pedal kick and cymbals crashing neatly. He’d almost always screwed up at the pre chorus part.

He put on his headphones again, playing the guitar and bass track from God Hates Us and started smashing after the slow intro sounded in his ears.

“Guys, I’m back! Don’t worry about…me…”

Jimmy appeared from outside the recording room and saw that the ambient was dark. The only light source came from the drum room. He approached closer and saw the new kid drummer was practicing his drum. Jimmy smiled to himself. He only heard a faint and echoed sound of fast kicking pedal, and he couldn’t control himself from wanting to get in.

He touched the doorknob but it went through his fingers. “Shit, I need Blake to touch things around here!”

Suddenly Arin stopped playing and went out of the room towards the audio controller at the front to replay the song from the start, then he went back in again. Jimmy took the chance to go into the room once the door was open.

“Arin, is it? I used to stay back here too. We drummers just don’t know when to quit, aren’t we?”

Arin put on his headphones and the intro blared into his ears. When the built up and aggressive part arrived he started thumping. Jimmy headbanged, hearing his beats. He knew the beats perfectly well, because he wrote it.

“Total nightmare!!!” he sang along with just a drum track as the background sound.

He knew the lyrics because he wrote it too. He just didn’t have the chance to hear the mastered version of the song. But then suddenly he stopped, and paused listening to Arin’s mistakes. He frowned hard. Arin’s kick was quite all over the place and he couldn’t control the slowing down from the fast shuffle at the bridge.

“Dude, maybe you’re going too fast. Those pedal kicks, don’t go too fucking fast. You need to control it a little bit down. And lay low on the crash dude. It’s fucking annoying.”

Jimmy blinked a couple of times, forgetting that Arin can’t see nor hear him. He scratched his head in disappointment. Wondering what the afterlife had planned for him, by guiding him here. In front of the new kid who made mistakes in his own song.

“What the fuck am I doing here? This kid can’t even hear me!”

Arin stopped playing. For a second Jimmy thought that Arin really did hear him muttering and cursing by himself. But Arin just stood up from the stool and went out of the drum room to the machine out front.

Arin was about to replay the song again when he saw the red button that says ‘RECORDING’ was on, and the volume bars from inside the drum room were moving. As though somebody was inside that room and speaking through the microphone. Slowly he glanced up to the glass window and saw nobody. Just his vacant drumkits and a few guitars on their stands.

He felt goosebumps all over his neck. Nevertheless, he pushed the recording button off and hit play.

The speaker let out nothing but his drum sounds. Brian was right, he thought. The cymbal crash was too loud; he needed to reduce that soon. Then his drum sounds stopped in the middle, he remembered that he was loosening some screws on his floor toms.

“…………..too fast…..”

Arin halted. He stood up straight and frozen at the sound of a faint voice emerging from the speaker. The hair on his back stood up, his skin tightened, and his eyes bulged in horror.

“………….crash…”

There it was again. The same voice pattern, yet saying two different things – but both about drumming.

“Jimmy?” he whispered. Oh shit, he thought. He really did believe that Jimmy was back and Blake was seeing him and all that. But hearing himself the legendary voice of Jimmy The Rev, he couldn’t breathe properly. Jimmy was here, with him!

He’d thought about calling all the guys, but instead his fingers went to the record button and spoke through the microphone that connected from outside to the drum room.

“Jimmy, if you’re here, say something.” His hands trembled but he tried to control them by curling them up into fists.

The volume bars rose up high, indicating that there was a sound coming from the room, as of right now. Arin rubbed his face in utter shock.

“This is so like Ghost Hunters.” He whispered to himself. Turning off the recording, he pressed play again.

It was silent at first. But then suddenly a scream roared through the speaker, quite loudly.

“I’M FUCKING HERE KID!!!”

Arin widened his eyes, cold sweat dripping on his forehead.

“Jimmy! Jimmy can you hear me?!”

He pressed record and play again.

“…..yeah.”

"Oh shit. Oh shit. Jimmy, you're here! With me! Shit, this can't be real. There's no way that this is real."

Arin took a long time to really believe in this. He was pacing around in the same spot, biting his nail. His heart beat in horror, he felt like he was in a scene from a scary movie. But then suddenly he remembered something. In a swift move he pressed record again.

“Dude. Where have you been? Everyone’s out looking for you.”

He pressed play after giving a while for Jimmy to answer.

“….around. Where’s Blake?”

“She’s with Michelle. They told me she cried hard. Go back to her, Jim.”

“……can’t. Don’t know how.”

“Dude why do you speak in short words?”

“….dunno. Ghost thing.”

Arin chuckled. He felt honored to be able to speak directly to his idol who’s been dead for a year and yet he felt crazy at the same time.

He forgot to stop recording and ask more question towards Jimmy so he turned off the record button and pressed play for the last time before he intended to ring Matthew and the others.

“…kid. Listen. Don’t go too fast. On pedal. Hard to control speed. Cymbal crash. Lower it a bit. But you’re there. Congratulations.”

Those sentences and advices touched Arin’s heart deeply that his eyes started to flood. He pressed record and play again;

“Thanks Jimmy. I won’t forget that advice. It’s an honor to be able to talk to you.”

“….me too. I’m proud of you, kid. The best replacement ever. I’m honored myself.”

Arin couldn’t control his tears. It flowed down like a river, and showed no signs of stopping. “Don’t go anywhere Jim. I’m gonna call them.”

But this time the speaker went silent.

“Jimmy?”

The silence was murdering. The volume bars were no longer rising up and down. It just settled in a default value, indicating that there was nobody there. Jimmy was no longer there.


“Hello, Matt. Yeah. I found Jimmy.”

Notes

A/N: i was so excited to update eventhough i ran out of chapters..haha