Jimmy stared at her, still looking for a trust in her clearest blue orbs. What the hell did Johnny want to talk about so bad, he didn’t even know. But now here they are, in Johnny’s mansion after he told the guys that he will take Blake home alone. They threw some suspicious frowns at him but he couldn’t care less. He didn’t have any bad intention towards her anyway.

Johnny had disappeared into the kitchen, making themselves some coffee as Jimmy and Blake discussed this seriously.

“You're sure about this Blake?”

She bit her lip. “I wanna help Johnny. I like him.”

Jimmy raised his eyebrows. “Like, as in – a friend, or more than that?”

She walked closely towards him until her head tilted up and he looked down at her, smiling.

“Jealous much?”

He wanted nothing more than to kiss this girl and took her away from here, but he behaved.

“Is it wrong if I feel jealous?”

“It means you like me.”

“I do like you Blake. In fact I love-”

“So, have you decided on it?” Johnny barged in from nowhere holding two mugs and stopped in his steps when he saw Blake was smiling at the ceiling. He’s gotta get used to that.

Both Blake and Jimmy turned to face him but only Blake took the mug out of his hand.

“Thanks. Yeah I can do it.”

“Great. I can’t thank you enough.”

She smiled and nodded in acknowledgement before sipping on her coffee mug.

“So, how should we do this?”

“I need to lie down.”

Johnny nodded and took the mug off her hand. She watched as he prepared a blanket on his couch for her to lie. It wasn’t really necessary but he was being nice. She lied down awkwardly, because he was watching, but when Jimmy went near her she flashed a comfortable smile at him.

Jimmy looked down to her, and glanced at Johnny back.

“You owe me and Blake for this, Christ.”

Then he climbed on top of her and this time. Without kissing her softly, Jimmy just sucked her breath and she went missing into the twilight.

A short while later, Jimmy fluttered open his eyes and sat up straight.

“Jimmy?”

He looked up to Johnny. “I’m here, Christ. What do you want?”

Johnny ran into his arms and hugged him tightly. “I never got to say this to you. I love you man. Don’t ever leave me.”

“Hey, I thought we’ve passed this stage already?”

“Not me, Jim.”

Jimmy smiled weakly and hugged him back.

“Well, I love you too, Johnny. What is it that you wanna talk about?”

Johnny parted from the hug and quickly realized that he was hugging Blake’s body. He moved his hands away from her and took a deep breath.

“Did you commit suicide, Jimmy?”

Jimmy was stunned; his eyes fixed on Johnny’s, his mouth ajar in total and absolute shock.

“Tell me the truth. I need to know.”

Jimmy finally snapped out of his surprised pose and chuckled darkly at the floor.

“What do you think?”

Johnny rubbed his face. “Jimmy, this isn’t funny. Why did you commit suicide? Why didn’t you tell us anything before?”

Jimmy smiled bitterly at him. He couldn’t believe that he needed to explain the cause of his death after he died.

“Johnny, do you remember when we took a drive along the park at night, after we’ve done recording Afterlife?”

“Yeah. There was an accident on the road.”

“A huge truck with a small motorcyclist. Then I asked you, have you ever watched, or read about someone’s death and wondered – is that how I’m gonna die?”

Johnny pursed his lips and nodded, holding back his tears.

“I’ve been asking the same question to myself for as long as I can remember.”

Jimmy’s gaze fell to the floor. He can hear Johnny sniffed and sobbed softly.

“So you did commit suicide?”

Jimmy hesitated. His mind unraveled back to the night before he left this world.


After sending Michelle and Brian back to their home, he went to his own, craving for a shot of Jack. He’d been refusing alcohol all night long because he needed to drive. He marched straight to his kitchen and pulled out a bottle of JD from a cabinet.

Shots after shots after shots he downed like a regular would, then he arched his way upstairs meeting his upright piano first. Drunkenly he played a tune on his piano, a song he had written together with Matthew but haven’t finished it yet.

“Save me, I’m trapped in a vile world, where the endings are the same as every other, we’re only here to die.”

He contributed only a small part of the lyrics as they were still under construction.

“Tonight we all die young…” he repeated that line along with piano for over and over again, skipping a few parts of the song. Suddenly he banged on the piano, one hand grabbing his chest, other searched hungrily for his prescriptions. Jimmy scowled around his room, trying to hold back his agony and when he found a bottle of Oxycodone, he downed a few pills with his shot of Jack. He didn’t think. He crawled up in bed, the pain still stinging inside his chest.

He couldn’t bear the pain. He knew he had to but he actually wasn’t strong enough. He downed another few of the pills and his heart calmed instantly. The last thing he saw was his white ceiling, and flashes of images – of his family, his mum, his dad, his sister, his brother, his best friends, his love and then he drifted off to sleep.


“Jimmy? Answer me, damn it.”

Jimmy awoke from his flashbacks earlier and sighed heavily at Johnny. “No I didn’t. It’s just – it was my time to go.”

“Time to go? You knew already? That’s why you wrote Fiction?”

“Fiction is my letter to you guys.”

Johnny wiped his teary eyes and sobbed again accidentally. “Then if you’re ready to leave so soon, why did you come back?”

Jimmy smiled and ruffled Johnny’s mohawk into a mess. “I gotta see how my boys are doing. How are you doing without me.”

Johnny buried his face inside his palms. “We’re a mess without you man. Every minute, every second gone by, never without talking about you. I thought you committed suicide. You were giving up. Your life was happy but you gave up. I- I- I never thought I had to deal with this-”

Jimmy swung the arm of Blake over Johnny’s shoulders. He didn’t have a problem circling around them since both Johnny and Blake were quite small.

“Hey hey. Who said I gave up? I would have never given up, especially with you guys surrounding me.” He pulled Johnny’s face closer until it rested on his own shoulder. He even slapped on his cheek lightly.

“Then why did you die?” Johnny let out a wail, his tears flowing down like Niagara Falls.

Jimmy chuckled softly. “We all gonna die at some point. How long have you known me? I’ve been writing that stuff forever. It’s what I believe.”

“But here you are. Talking to me. Living in this body.”

Jimmy sighed deeply and let Johnny go from his embrace. “I didn’t know that I could come back. And I also don’t know for how long I will be like this.”

Johnny smiled weakly and wiped his flowing tears off. “Looks like you’re stuck in the afterlife.”
Jimmy laughed hard. “Yeah, serves me right for writing that song.”

They both laughed, like old times. Where Johnny preferred Jimmy being his usual self rather than putting a mask of happy and crazy faces in front of the others.

“It’s good to know that you didn’t commit suicide, man.”

They embraced each other again when suddenly Johnny jumped out of nothing, to find his girlfriend arrived home and standing by the doorway.

Notes

A/N: so short. sorry :/