A Gift or A Curse

Jimmy had been staring at this grave plate for hours. It wasn’t his. It was another man’s grave. He didn’t understand why he slipped away again not long after he went out of Blake’s body this morning. He hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye to her. Or even apologize for making a rash decision for that tattoo on her wrist. She must have been really pissed off by now.

Jimmy read the plate again. “Jude-”

“Hi Jude.” He heard somebody’s voice emerged from behind him. He glanced around and gasped quite loudly, hands over his mouth.

“Lea??” he called. But Leana didn’t hear him. She was dressed in a white blouse with matching skirt and giant sunglasses on her nose. Her four years old daughter, Zoey gripped her hands tightly.

“Oh God Lea, I missed you so much! You have no idea! I was in Canada, I met this girl, she can see me and-” Jimmy quickly ran towards them, spilling everything at once but was cut off when Leana marched forward to the grave, ignoring him.

Zoey, on the other hand, glared at him without taking her eyes off.

“Zoey, you can see me? Oh my God you’ve gotten so big!”

The child didn’t reply him. She just smiled and stared at him.

“Jude,” Leana began again. “I haven’t been here in a while, have I?” she chuckled to herself. Occasionally she pushed the rim of her sunglasses and sighed. Jimmy listened to her, carefully.

“Our daughter has grown so big. If only you could see her.” She squatted down and pulled Zoey into a hug.

“I’m moving on quite well. After you gone, I met this great guy, he was amazing.”

Jimmy blushed hearing those compliments from her. He was practically smiled in glee, but abruptly stopped when Zoey giggled watching him.

“He took care of Zoey too. He treated her like his own daughter.” Leana continued to ramble while Jimmy crouched down, eye to eye with Zoey.

“Wow, look at those eyes. So blue.” He commented, referring to Zoey’s amazing electric blue eyes.

“Blue!” Zoey cooed, blinking her eyes for a couple times, understanding Jimmy’s words. Jimmy chuckled slightly.

“Hey, wanna see a trick?” he offered.

Zoey didn’t reply, just smiled watching him. Jimmy shoved his hand through Leana’s head and it went through her. He grinned, opening his mouth happily to Zoey and the kid giggled again. This time it made Leana turned to her. Jimmy quickly withdrew his hand back.

“What are you so happy about, baby?” she kissed Zoey’s cheek softly.

“Daddy!” Zoey called. Jimmy was stunned, he wanted to just hug this little kiddo but he can’t.

“Yes baby, this is your daddy.” Leana brought Zoey in front of the grave but the child didn’t pay attention. She was now immersed into the Barbie in her hands. Leana continued to rant in front of the grave and from what Jimmy knew, this was her late husband’s grave. She told him how she missed him so much but she was ready to let him go. His unbeaten heart gone heavy – if Leana was ready to let this Jude guy go, then she might be letting Jimmy go too.

“Oh no, Lea. Please don’t. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Don’t forget about me.” He spoke into her hair, half-whispering. Leana felt a slight chill on her body and immediately she rubbed her own shoulders.

“Are you done?”

A voice suddenly interrupted, making Jimmy jumped and quickly stood up. There was a man, standing behind Leana wearing a crisp white shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbow and a pair of crisp grey pants. His hair was blond and a bit messy but he looked like an actor. Jimmy narrowed his eyes at him, studying his face intently. But the man just casually put his hand inside his pocket and watched her.

Leana nodded to him, without looking. Soon, she stood up too, eye to eye but refused to make eye contacts.

“Lea, look at me.” He touched Leana’s chin gently and tilted her head up. Leana did what she was told to and gazed at him with her hands gripped tight on Zoey.

“This is for the best.”

Leana blinked softly and smiled. Jimmy frowned even more. Who’s this guy? Lea’s new boyfriend? He had never felt so jealous before that he angrily stepped further to strangle the guy in the neck. But his action was of course resulted in vain.

“Let’s take the next step.” The guy pulled his hand away and put it back inside his pocket.

“Please no. Not Jimmy.” Jimmy heard Leana said, and he quickly turned his head to her.

“You have to let them go. It’s all part of the process.”

“Alex, I -” she paused to look down at her ring finger. That tattoo of Jimmy’s name was still there. Jimmy noticed it and raised his hand to study his own ring finger.

But the strange this was, his tattoo of LEANA wasn’t there anymore. He searched around his body. All of his other tattoos were there, still intact and clearly visible but only that tattoo was missing. It was as if he didn’t make it at all.

“What the fuck? Where’s my tattoo?” he murmured to himself.

“You’ve got to do this, Lea.” Jimmy stopped searching when he heard the guy named Alex spoke.

“Where was he buried?”

“Huntington Beach.”

Alex smiled bitterly and took Leana by the shoulder. They were walking away from Jude’s grave and Zoey waved goodbye at Jimmy without her mother or even Alex noticing. Jimmy waved back as he can’t do anything else.

He turned to the grave back, wondering what was the purpose of him being here other than meeting Leana and Zoey. And that guy.

He tried teleporting so many times but without Blake around, he just couldn’t. Then all of sudden he was slipping away. He couldn’t really describe how the feeling was but it was as though he voluntarily moved and went wherever the wind took him to.

He hoped to get back beside Blake again. There was no one else that he missed being with right now.

*****************************************************************************************************

Zacky ran his hands through his hair. Their life was in a complete mess right now. He was practically having a tough time being apart from his journalist girlfriend for a few months. And now a stranger girl, dull at first but grew beautiful as his best friend lie inside her, came here and bring them to joy again.

He was nothing like Matt or Brian. He didn’t drown himself in alcohol, or got involved in paranormal shit to move on from Jimmy’s passing. He just cried himself out every night. Every conversation among them reminded him of Jimmy. Every bottle of beer, every cigarette, everything.

He didn’t blame Tona for leaving, hell he would have been out of the door too if he had to put up with someone who cries so much every night.


He watched solemnly as Tona packed her big suitcase in silent. She got a job offer in Paris, which she had been dreaming of. She wasn’t going to take up the offer at first, seeing that they might have to break up but after Zacky brushed her off coldly, and locked himself inside his room - crying his eyes out, Tona felt like this was the right decision.

“Baby, please stay. I’d do anything.”

Tona stopped shoving her clothes inside her luggage and glanced at him slowly.

“Zacky, I can’t. I couldn’t. I can’t see you like this. It breaks my heart.”

His eyes had dried off from tears, but his heart felt heavy. Tona sat in front of him, on the edge of her bed. She watched him weakly as his fingers playing with his car keys. It was quite lucky that he finally went out of his house and came here because if he didn’t, they might not have the chance to meet again.

“Zacky, please move on. It’s been 6 months. Johnny is miserable too, but he didn’t go down like this.”

“Don’t compare me to them.” He snarled, making her winced a bit. His green eyes pierced straight into hers. Tona shut her own eyes and gave up. She got up from the bed, nodding her head and continued to pack, this time with tears down her cheeks.

Zacky regretted using that tone with her. He wanted to be with her more than anything but he just couldn’t bear to let her crumble down with him. He finally stood up and walked closer to her. He snaked in his arms around her waist from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed into her neck, then continued; “I wanna try long distance.”

Tona sobbed in happiness as she turned around and kissed him on the lips briefly.

“Me too.”

He smiled and pulled her waist closer as he took her lips again.


They were apart for a few months as Zacky picked up his shattered life in pieces and put them back on again. After Nightmare was released the band was back on the road and Zacky was too busy to even keep in contact with her. Long distance really sucks.

And now this – this confusing thing – happened.

Jimmy came back from the dead. What? That would be a massive headliner for the news if this ever leaked out. Zacky tried to bring himself to believe that girl at first, he swore he almost did, but then he realized that he was in the middle of mending his broken life back. He cannot let small things like some fan claimed she had seen Jimmy’s spirit to ruin it for him again.

Then Matthew came to them after the photo shoot with Rock Sound yesterday, saying that they should follow him back to his house. He had a surprise.

What the hell Matt? He said to himself after he saw Blake in Matt’s house, standing awkwardly and looked scared as hell.

He couldn’t help but burst into tears again when he saw Brian broke down. That fucker was the most devastated among all of them. Don’t get him wrong, all of them are best friends with Jimmy, but Brian grew up with him. He even stopped taking drugs after he knew that Jimmy had a secret disease.

The girl really proved that Jimmy was back. He was convinced that Jimmy would stay forever like that, he couldn’t bear to be apart from him and her even for one second.
And now both of them are missing.

Zacky rubbed his face and buried it in his hands. Where would they find that girl now? And where the hell are they gonna find Jimmy? This is so messed up.

His phone suddenly rang and he looked at the caller ID. It was Brian.

“Yeah.”
“We’ve found her.”
“What? Where?”
“You need to get your ass here first.”
“You’re at Matt’s?”
“No, my place.”
“I’m on my way.”

Notes

A/N: seriously guys, at this point i'm stuck with this story because i was working on Walk With Me. so this story will be put on hold for a bit....not too long..give me a like a week. okay? sorry :(