Complicated Love

For the next couple of days I ignored calls, texts and visits from the guys. Once or twice one of them (not sure who) had tried to get in with their spare key but I had kept the chain lock on.
I don't really know what had happened on Friday at the party. Jimmy and I had just gone for a walk, which we had done a billion times before, but it had felt different this time.
When I had asked if he saw me as a woman, I wasn't even thinking. All I knew was that it felt like a hand was gripping my heart everytime I looked at him since I'd gotten home. And I had wanted to know how he saw me. I knew they all saw me as a sister but for some reason, it MATTERED what Jimmy thought. More than usual.
We had always had a special bond, but I just figured it was due to me knowing him the longest. Now I wasn't so sure.
And when he had kissed me...I had never felt so much passion in just one small kiss. I had wanted more so I had kissed him back. I had never kissed anybody quite like I had kissed Jimmy that night. Not even Drew, who I thought I had loved.
I had told the guys earlier that I didn't want a romantic relationship right now and it was true. Until the kiss. After that, that's all I wanted. And I wanted it with Jimmy.
But I was scared. That's why I had walked away when he had told me he loved me. Yes we had said that our whole lives but that was just different. It was how you said "I love you" when you were in love.
I'm not in love...am I? Is Jimmy?
The way I was ignoring them was probably hurting him, but I was starting my new job. My new life.
And it started today.
It was 8 a.m. Monday morning and I was standing in the front office waiting for the principal. A lady in a bright red dress that was way to tight for her plump body walked up to me with the cheesiest smile I had ever seen.
She stuck her hand out to shake hands. "Hi. I'm Lisa Trula. I'm the secretary here and may I just say you are the cutest thing to come asking for a job? Oh I bet Principal Walker hired you on just good looks alone! He sure is a flirt that one." She clapped her hands once and laughed. "But you shouldn't take it personally. He treats all pretty young things like that. Well right now he is busy in a meeting so he asked me to show you around and then to the classroom you will be teaching."
Without one more word, she turned on her heels and walked out of the office not even looking back to see if I was following her. I did follow her and I was trying very hard to pay attention to what she was saying. I could feel my phone buzzing in my purse. It was probably another text from one of the guys.
"And here is the cafeteria where they eat," said Lisa.
She reminded me of a cat lady. Like someone who was so scary she ran everybody off so she surrounded herself with a lot of cats. I didn't really like her.
She showed me each grade hall and where all the bathrooms were. Finally, the cat lady showed me to the classroom i was to be in. "Mrs. Gladsty?"
The very pregnant teacher looked up from where she was helping a student draw. Lisa motioned towards me. "This is Brooke Claster. She's your sub for when you go on maternity leave. But for now she will assist you. Put her to work. Bye bye!" At that she scurried out of the room. That woman is crazy.
I turned back to Mrs. Gladsty and she was smiling at me and rubbing her belly. "Hi, Brooke," she said. "You can call me Lauren. Come on I'll introduce you to the children."
I nodded and looked around. There were cute pictures on the walls and bright colors everywhere. Each of the fifteen students were sitting at low tables in very tiny chairs, drawing.
"Class." Lauren said. It amazed me at how fast she got their attention. I hope I could be that good one day. "This is Miss Claster. She is going to be helping me this next week and then she will be your teacher for a while. Can anybody tell me how many days are in a week?"
A lot of tiny hands shot up into the air. Lauren pointed at one little girl with short blonde hair.
"Seven, Mrs. Lauren" the little girl said, obviously proud of herself.
"Very good, Kendra," Lauren said. "Now everybody say 'hi'."
"You can call me Miss Brooke." I said quickly.
"Hi Miss Brooke!" they all said. How cute!
They all turned back to their drawings and Lauren pulled me to her desk in the corner. "Ok now I'll show you what to do and the curriculum. Don't worry, Brooke." She must have seen my paniced expression. "They won't eat you alive. You'll do fine."
The rest of the day went by in a blur, but it kept my mind off personal stuff. I was sure I could do this. I could be a teacher. The kids seemed to like me well enough.
When I came home that afternoon, I saw a black car in my driveway and Brian was on my front steps. I took a deep breath and got out of my car. When I reached him he smiled.
"Hi, Brookie. We've all been trying to get a hold of you." He stood and I moved around him to open my door.
"I know," was all I said as I placed my purse on my table by the door and motioned for him to come inside.
Brian sat on the arm of my couch and gave me a hurt look. "Then what? You've been ignoring us?"
I sighed. I really didn't want to deal with this right now. "Yes. I didn't know what to do after Jimmy..."
I stopped. Had Jimmy told the guys? Did they even know why I was being distant?
Brian got up and hugged me. "He kissed you. Yeah we know. And frankly, we're suprised he waited this long."
I pulled back and stared at him. "What?"
He chuckled. "Brooke, the guy has been madly in love with you since he was ten. You were the only one who didn't know. Everybody else could see it."
Huh? Jimmy had loved me for THAT long? I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I sat down in my recliner. "Are you sure?" I asked.
Brian knelt down in front of me and placed his hand on my knee. "Positive. Come on Brookie. Don't tell me you don't feel something for him too."
"Well yeah. I feel something for all of you."
He shook his head. "No. I mean something stronger. We know you love us but I know you feel something just a little bit different about Jimmy."
I did. I always had. But wasn't that just our special bond?
No, I told myself. You've always felt it. You just couldn't recognize it. It's stronger than what you felt with Drew and when Jimmy kissed you, you knew it.
I looked up. "Oh my God, Brian! You're right! I love Jimmy!"