When The Heart Guides The Hand
Tainted Love
"Oh my god Summer, you get more and more amazing everyday." Zacky breathed, putting on his clothes.I huffed and slipped on a pair of shorts and a shirt then got up and followed him to the door."See you tonight at the dinner." He smiled, kissing my forehead."Yeah, see you then." I mumbled then went back inside to take a shower and clean up my bedroom.
Days, nights, weeks, months, years, they were all like this.Zacky would come over and I would give him everything he wanted.I was like a slave to him, only I was totally willing.I've needed this boy every second of my life.He kept me sane and saved me from myself.He also was an a-m-a-z-i-n-g lover.The sex never got dull, not even once.It actually seemed to get better and better as time flew by.
But now things were coming to a change, sort of.He was finally settling down with his crush of two years, Gena.They were pretty much glued to each other unless they had a fight or whatever.Then he would come running back to me, hoping to have all this problems solved by the time he had left my house and returned home to her.
After I had thrown my dirty sheets and comforter into the washer, I trudged back upstairs and started to pick out an outfit for the band & crew dinner that the band's manager was hosting tonight at a restaurant in town. I knew Zacky was gonna bring Gena, so I had the privilege of going with Jimmy and Leana instead of being alone.
Once I finished with my shower and got dressed, I reached for my phone and dialed Leana's number."Hey girly." She said cheerfully."Hi, are you and Jimmy still gonna pick me up for the dinner?" I asked while starting to apply some mascara."Yeah we're actually on our way now Summer." I heard Jimmy's voice say."Alright then, I'll be heading out there in a bit, just let me find my bag."
"Okay, see you then girl." I tossed my phone back onto my bed before finishing up the last touches of my make up and grabbing my bag then heading downstairs to wait for them.It was only a matter of moments when my doorbell rang loudly, piercing the silence that had once filled my living room."Summer!" I heard Jimmy yell from the other side of the door.I opened it slowly and smiled when I saw him and Leana.
"Looking good Summer!" Jimmy winked, grinning at me.I chuckled and pulled the door shut then turned back and followed them to the car.I stared out the window, getting lost in my own thoughts before I felt someone gently shaking me."Hey were here already." Leana smiled.
I unbuckled my seat belt and climbed out of the backseat.I almost fainted when I saw Zacky come into view with Gena at his side, and boy did she look stunning.I could see why he thought she was the one, she was absolutely beautiful."Hey guys, Matt and Val are already inside with Brian and Michelle." We all nodded and continued on inside.
I took my seat beside Jimmy and Johnny, smiling at both of them before scanning my eyes over to Zack."Your eyes are burning holes in his head, Summer." Johnny whispered, chuckling slightly.I sighed and looked down at the menu that was placed in front of me.I settled on a chicken salad and water.
While everyone chatted and ate away at their foods, I simply picked at mine and had a horrible urge to throw up."Hey are you okay Summer?" Val asked from across the table, causing all eyes to fall on me.I shook my head and put on a fake smile "I'm totally fine guys." I lied, trying to get all the attention from off of me.
"I'm gonna go outside for a smoke break real quick.Wanna come join me?" Zacky said standing, then motioning for me to come.I set my napkin on the table and followed him out to the patio.I could hear them all faintly talking and whispering, probably about me, but I ignored it while I stepped out and sat beside him on the love seat.
He put a cigarette in between his rosy lips then took a long drag.I stared out into the sunset, trying to pretend that I didn't feel awkward at the moment."So I know your not okay, so I want you to tell me what's wrong.Did I hurt you after or something?" He said while taking in and exhaling another long drag.
I huffed and shook my head."No.Nothing like that.I'm fine trust me it's nothing I just want to go home." My voice sounded like it was on the verge of cracking, and that at any moment I might start to cry and spill my guts out to him like an open book.He sighed and tossed the end of the cigarette on the floor before putting his arm over me.
"Your my best friend Summer.I love you and I care about you, you know that.I just don't want you feeling hurt about anything." My heart started to ache as soon as those words came out of his mouth."Yeah yeah I know you do and I do too but I promise nothings wrong.So can we just go inside so I can leave?" He looked at me before groaning and following me back inside the restaurant.
As we got situated back in our seats, I looked over at Johnny who had a puzzling look on his face."What's the matter?" I asked him quietly.He shook his head and turned to his side "Nothing, just thinking that's all.What was with you and Zack?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow at me.
I huffed and put my hand to my head "Not a thing, just went for a quick smoke break.Nothing more, nothing less." I felt my stomach twist into knots.If only he knew how much I wanted it to be something more and nothing less."Hey Summer we're gonna head home now did you want to come with us?" Leana asked from behind me.I nodded and got up.
"See you all later.Bye Larry." I waved to the rest of the guys and their manager.As I started to walk away I instantly could feel Zacky's eyes burning holes in my head now.I knew later on sometime he would be appearing in my bedroom.
But that's what happens when you let your heart guide your hand
Days, nights, weeks, months, years, they were all like this.Zacky would come over and I would give him everything he wanted.I was like a slave to him, only I was totally willing.I've needed this boy every second of my life.He kept me sane and saved me from myself.He also was an a-m-a-z-i-n-g lover.The sex never got dull, not even once.It actually seemed to get better and better as time flew by.
But now things were coming to a change, sort of.He was finally settling down with his crush of two years, Gena.They were pretty much glued to each other unless they had a fight or whatever.Then he would come running back to me, hoping to have all this problems solved by the time he had left my house and returned home to her.
After I had thrown my dirty sheets and comforter into the washer, I trudged back upstairs and started to pick out an outfit for the band & crew dinner that the band's manager was hosting tonight at a restaurant in town. I knew Zacky was gonna bring Gena, so I had the privilege of going with Jimmy and Leana instead of being alone.
Once I finished with my shower and got dressed, I reached for my phone and dialed Leana's number."Hey girly." She said cheerfully."Hi, are you and Jimmy still gonna pick me up for the dinner?" I asked while starting to apply some mascara."Yeah we're actually on our way now Summer." I heard Jimmy's voice say."Alright then, I'll be heading out there in a bit, just let me find my bag."
"Okay, see you then girl." I tossed my phone back onto my bed before finishing up the last touches of my make up and grabbing my bag then heading downstairs to wait for them.It was only a matter of moments when my doorbell rang loudly, piercing the silence that had once filled my living room."Summer!" I heard Jimmy yell from the other side of the door.I opened it slowly and smiled when I saw him and Leana.
"Looking good Summer!" Jimmy winked, grinning at me.I chuckled and pulled the door shut then turned back and followed them to the car.I stared out the window, getting lost in my own thoughts before I felt someone gently shaking me."Hey were here already." Leana smiled.
I unbuckled my seat belt and climbed out of the backseat.I almost fainted when I saw Zacky come into view with Gena at his side, and boy did she look stunning.I could see why he thought she was the one, she was absolutely beautiful."Hey guys, Matt and Val are already inside with Brian and Michelle." We all nodded and continued on inside.
I took my seat beside Jimmy and Johnny, smiling at both of them before scanning my eyes over to Zack."Your eyes are burning holes in his head, Summer." Johnny whispered, chuckling slightly.I sighed and looked down at the menu that was placed in front of me.I settled on a chicken salad and water.
While everyone chatted and ate away at their foods, I simply picked at mine and had a horrible urge to throw up."Hey are you okay Summer?" Val asked from across the table, causing all eyes to fall on me.I shook my head and put on a fake smile "I'm totally fine guys." I lied, trying to get all the attention from off of me.
"I'm gonna go outside for a smoke break real quick.Wanna come join me?" Zacky said standing, then motioning for me to come.I set my napkin on the table and followed him out to the patio.I could hear them all faintly talking and whispering, probably about me, but I ignored it while I stepped out and sat beside him on the love seat.
He put a cigarette in between his rosy lips then took a long drag.I stared out into the sunset, trying to pretend that I didn't feel awkward at the moment."So I know your not okay, so I want you to tell me what's wrong.Did I hurt you after or something?" He said while taking in and exhaling another long drag.
I huffed and shook my head."No.Nothing like that.I'm fine trust me it's nothing I just want to go home." My voice sounded like it was on the verge of cracking, and that at any moment I might start to cry and spill my guts out to him like an open book.He sighed and tossed the end of the cigarette on the floor before putting his arm over me.
"Your my best friend Summer.I love you and I care about you, you know that.I just don't want you feeling hurt about anything." My heart started to ache as soon as those words came out of his mouth."Yeah yeah I know you do and I do too but I promise nothings wrong.So can we just go inside so I can leave?" He looked at me before groaning and following me back inside the restaurant.
As we got situated back in our seats, I looked over at Johnny who had a puzzling look on his face."What's the matter?" I asked him quietly.He shook his head and turned to his side "Nothing, just thinking that's all.What was with you and Zack?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow at me.
I huffed and put my hand to my head "Not a thing, just went for a quick smoke break.Nothing more, nothing less." I felt my stomach twist into knots.If only he knew how much I wanted it to be something more and nothing less."Hey Summer we're gonna head home now did you want to come with us?" Leana asked from behind me.I nodded and got up.
"See you all later.Bye Larry." I waved to the rest of the guys and their manager.As I started to walk away I instantly could feel Zacky's eyes burning holes in my head now.I knew later on sometime he would be appearing in my bedroom.
But that's what happens when you let your heart guide your hand
11/4/12