Things I Can Change

Matt’s pov
It was like some fucked up scene in one of those romantic comedy movies. The crazy ex-girlfriend walks in and scares away the new girl. She just pranced in like she owned the damn house, greeting everyone like nothing had happened. Then she had to press her gold digging lips all over mine. I was in shock for a quick second, but I then quickly pushed her off of me. I looked up to see the hurt expression on Emma’s face. She quickly ran inside somewhere. Although the situation was shitty, this gave me a glimmer of hope, sparking this weird feeling inside of me. If she was hurt, that means she cares. She could possibly feel something for me too! We haven’t known each other long enough but I definitely feel something there. Lets call it a crush for now.
But back to this situation at hand, I can’t believe that obsessive bitch had to maneuver her way into my life at this moment.
“Val, what the hell?!” I softly pushed her off of me.

“Baby stop messing around.” She giggled and tried to hold on to me like arm candy.

“Over means OVER Valary! Do I have to change the locks again?! This is not your house to live in and I am not yours to kiss at your leisure. Now get out!” I got a little more aggressive with my tone towards the end. Her face looked like an old tomato.

She was so embarrassed. She never knew me as the type to put her shit on public view. Everyone was just staring at us, mostly her, waiting for a reaction. She ended up stomping off in a fit.
Emma had escaped to the bathroom. I suddenly felt this bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach.
“Emma, please open the door” I said right after I knocked softly.

Emma’s pov
I had no legitimate reason to be upset. He wasn’t mine to claim. It did hurt to see though. I really have no control over that. He seemed like he felt something, whether it may be sexual or more, it still seemed like so. But I still really don’t have the right to start with the blame game, so I will get myself together, walk outside, and hear him out. No pity parties Emma. Go out there and let the man explain himself. I took a shaky breath and steadied myself on the rims of the sink. I made sure I was presentable and then nervously reached out to the doorknob.
After opening the door, I was left face to face with Matt. Regret was painted on his face. I can’t think of anything besides a sad puppy to compare him to. The thought almost made me chuckle.

“I am so sorry! You shouldn’t have to see that. She is just my crazy ex and she is manipulative and dirty an-”

“Matt!” I cut him off with a giggle. He began to ramble. “It’s okay! You have no reason to explain yourself.” I felt kind’ve shitty for blaming him momentarily. Despite not knowing him well, he really did not seem like he was covering something up.

“So, you’re not mad?” He asked, almost like a little boy would. It was so cute! “I’m not mad Matt” I said with a giggle.

He looked almost relieved to hear my response. We were leaning on the granite countertops of the kitchen. There was a peaceful momentary silence between us. I was looking out to the pool and my newfound friends. It was nice to find a welcoming group of people. I smiled softly, and Matt seemed to notice.

“What’s got you all happy?” He asked, playfully shoving me.

“I am just happy April and I made this move.” My smile grew a bit wider. Matt’s dimples began to show.

“I am too.” He looked down to me, smiling.

I don’t know what it was about moment in time, but it felt like the world had stopped for a moment. Our eyes met and he took that opportunity to lean down, letting our lips meet. I wouldn’t have been able to deny him that kiss, even if I tried. It was so easy to just melt into his embrace. But these moments, these precious, indescribable moments don’t last forever. We were interrupted by Jimmy prancing in looking for beer. We pulled away, tomato face and all.

“Don’t mind me lovebirds. Just trying to get a buzz goin’.” Jimmy said cheerfully.

He left just as quickly as he entered.

“We should go back out there, so they don’t think we eloped or something.” He said with a nervous chuckle as he began to head outside, with me in tow.
Nice choice of words Matt.

April’s POV

I don’t know really know what happened, which you could tell from the dumbfounded expression on my face, but that shit was entertaining. Emma was definitely feeling something towards Matt though, so I hope that they clear the air before feelings get established. My girl’s intuition is telling me Matt is crushing on Emma, especially after the scene at the bar. He was practically drooling. And as for Emma, she is beyond physically attracted to the man so I know she is definitely crushing. Matt didn’t look like he had any interest in that bimbo, so I’m hoping, if that is true, he proves it to Emma. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt again.
After Matt went to go after Emma, I looked straight at Brian, wide-eyed, searching for an explanation.

“Obsessive ex-girlfriend. Trust me on this one, he hates her with a passion. Only girl he has eyes for is Emma.” He piped up nonchalantly as if it was normal by now. Always trust a girls intuition. “She’s the first girl to bring out the shyness in him in years, probably since high school.” Good to know.

“Well I know she feels somewhat of the same way, I just hope she believes Matt. I mean despite everything thats happened with her, she’s always maintained a level head.” Shit, I didn’t want to bring up anything from the past. Shit shit shit! April, think before you speak a little more!

“What happened to her?” Fuck, what do i say?

“I really didn’t mean to bring that up.” I chuckled nervously. “I speak without thinking sometimes. But that is a conversation not meant for my mouth.” He nodded understandingly.

“I can tell you, it is the reason we met and came here, to start anew.” What is wrong with me, why do I feel the need to pour my heart out to him. He just has this ability to make me so comfortable around him, like I don’t have to fear judgment.
I think he sensed the fear in my voice and through my facial expression because he was quick to reassure me.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to April, just tell me when you’re ready.” He turned from looking towards the ocean, to looking me in the eyes, small smile tugging at his lips.

He directed me towards the beach behind Matt’s house and asked me to follow him. It felt almost as if the wind was pushing me there, taking away my self control. We walked down to the shore and let our feet get wet by the warm, welcoming Pacific Ocean. There was this feeling that I was scared of, but I couldn’t get enough of. It was a feeling of safety and security. The last time I felt that way, it ended up working against me. My intuitions had failed me and I paid the painful consequence. I can almost feel these intuitions crawling back, leading me towards putting my trust in Brian, leaving me in one of the hardest positions ever. Do I keep my guard up, or should I slowly let it down. My past cannot ruin my future, I won’t let it.
I was quickly pulled out of my thoughts when Brian ran up behind me and picked me up, charging for the shore.

“Brian no! Put me down!” I yelled and laughed at him. He wasn’t letting up. He had me over his shoulder, ready to throw me in. “If I go, you come with me Brian!” I jokingly yelled towards him.

He had a pretty strong grip, he wouldn’t let me budge. He let me fall, drenching my whole body in the warm, inviting, salty water. We were deep enough for the fall not to hurt in any way, so a little above waist length. I looked up to Brian’s laughing face. “You think this is funny Haner?” I stood up and yanked his body down with mine. We both fell down laughing. “You are so lucky I left my phone up there Brian, you’d be paying for a new one.” We splashed around for a bit, enjoying that feeling that you lose as a child, that innocence and freedom from responsibility. It was just Brian, me, and the entire Pacific Ocean.
We did have to leave it eventually, or else we’d be prunes. We got up and went to go sit by the shore, letting the sun do the drying. I had my bikini top on underneath my shirt, so I too my shirt off a while back. Brian was sitting shirtless in all his tanned, tatted, and toned glory. I could get used to feeling. It is like nothing I have ever felt before, total and complete serenity and relaxation.
I want nothing more than to trust Brian and melt into this wonderful California sun, leaving all my worries behind, but it’s just not that easy. Those who feel pain, and I am not talking about breakup pain, I am talking about having your world become dedicated to one sole living being to then have it ripped from you. Losing that baby took something from me. My life was sculpted to live for that baby. It was painfully ripped from my grasp. What hurts even more than that is thinking I put trust in someone that was the cause of this loss. I’ve learned to put that past me though. After blaming my self for so long, I had to come to terms with this not being my fault. I just can’t fathom the thought of someone being so selfish. He harmed what he never got the chance to love, and he lost the chance for it to love him back. Meeting Emma and making this change has really given me hope to a fresh start. I have to be honest with Brian at some point. I just don’t want to scare him off with my demons. I am sure Emma feels the same. We also don’t want to come close to opening these wounds that are barely healed already. I just have to let the wind guide my through the right path. I just have to have faith that everything will turn out alright.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Brian asked, bringing me out of my absent-minded state. I paused before I answered, not sure how to respond without revealing too much. I took a deep breath in before responding.

“Just thinking about the paths created for you, like how you get to where you are now.” I said, turning my head to look towards him.

“How philosophical!” He said exuberantly, earning a giggle from me.

“Well are you happy you ended up where you did?” “I am.” I smiled towards him.

“Meeting Emma and coming here had to be the best thing that ever happened to me.” The smile grew slightly as I turned to face the water, my hair slightly swept from the wind.

“How did you too meet? You know you and Emma are a mystery to us. We know almost nothing about either of you, except that you guys are exceptionally beautiful and fun to be around.” I hated blushing. I looked like a ditzy fool. I want so bad to tell him everything, but I can’t spill every personal aspect to my life to someone I think I trust. Like I said before, my trust has failed me. I just really don’t want to leave Brian in the dark. He doesn’t deserve that.

“We met over… a common circumstance at the time.” I looked over at Brian who looked as if my answer was not filling enough. He didn’t look like he wanted to pry. He just looked genuinely interested.

“What like Alcoholics Anonymous?” He said jokingly, laughing some.

“What if it was?” I said seriously, trying to scare him a bit. His face dropped suddenly.

“Oh god seriously? I didn’t mean any insult by it April.” I cracked a smile.

“I’m kidding Brian!” I playfully slapped his shoulder. “I like to drink, but I am no alcoholic. But without letting the cat out of the bag, Emma and I met you could say, escaping, something from our past.” He looked a bit stunned.

“What? Like criminal charges?”

He asked, looking somewhat serious. I playfully slapped him again.

“No Brian! I am not a felon on the run!” I laughed at his relieved expression. “I want to tell you more, but its not the easiest of situations to explain. Emma and I met both hiding from our demons, but we came here to rid of them. I hope that doesn’t scare you off, thinking I’m a nutcase.” I laughed, nervously.

“Were you scared I would run off? I could never. Everyone has their demons hiding. Not everyone takes the step to overpower them April; that’s a characteristic of a strong person. You also don’t have to rush to tell me anything. I get it, we met not too long ago. I’m happy you trusted me to tell me this though.” He caressed my hand reassuringly. “We are a welcoming bunch. We don’t scare easy either.” He smirked.

“Thanks Brian, it means a lot.” We gazed into each other’s eyes momentarily, smiling. I looked towards Matt’s house to see Zack sitting alone, picking at the wrapper of a beer, sitting on a bench on the outskirts of Matt’s house on the beach. He seemed worried and deep in thought. “Is Zack okay? He seems so down.” I asked Brian.

“Something is wrong with his girlfriend. She has been ignoring him, and all of us actually. Last time we saw her, she was out of it and last time she was with Zack, apparently all she could do was cry. Zack said something about being around him hurts her, therefore, he thinks its all his fault, but its something more. She is just not telling anyone.”

“It seems like its really bothering you too.” I asked him.

“We are all very close with her. She is that friend you always turn to, so it sucks knowing she isn’t turning to us with something, to let us help her.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that. Have her and Zack been okay?”

“More than okay. Yeah they fight but they have one of those relationships that everyone wants. The ‘my partner is my anchor’ type. Milla always hated commitment. The thought terrified her, plus she had a lot to deal with on her own. Zack tried hard to gain her attention and ended up proving it her that it was worth it. I just hope she talks to us soon.” He finished, as he flicked through the sand stuck on his hands.

He looked over at April. Nothing had to be said. It was a peaceful silence among growing friends. I kept thinking about Zack and his girlfriend Camilla. I can’t help but wonder what happened to her. It is so sad hearing about how much Zack loves her and how he feels so in the dark right now. I hope she talks to him soon. The sun was beginning to set and it was getting a bit chilly. My body was covered with chills.

“You want to head back? You look cold.” I nodded and followed him back into the house.

After running up to a spare bedroom and changing for the rest of the festivities, and came down to find everyone sitting happily in a circle around a bonfire, beers in hand. There was a seat next to Brian, reserved for me. I couldn’t help but smile. I noticed Emma was next to Matt, acting a bit touchier than normal. She must spill EVERYTHING as soon as we leave. After getting getting comfortable next to Brian, sharing a blanket I might add, conversations were going and spirits were high. I felt accepted and… happy? I felt happy.

Notes

Hello fellow deathbats!
my lovely co-writer and I are going to try our hardest to update every Thursday. We want to avoid these gaps between each update cause I know it can make someone lose interest. Also, feedback is very important. We want to know that you guys are liking what we're writing.
Anywhoooo, what's going on with Zack & Camilla? And are things blossoming between Matt, Brian, Emma, and April? Or will they back out from fear?