Walk With Me

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Erika looked up to the voice. She opened her mouth to speak but no voice came out of it.

“You don’t belong there. Oh no, no. Not behind those drums.”

She was too scared to look closely at the man. He was blocking the light source so Erika can only see his silhouette.

“Fuck off Jake. She’s my best friend.”

That man named Jake glanced over at the other voice. Erika recognized clearly of whom it belonged to. Her best friend, Emily.

“More pussy for me then?”

“Hey, don’t you fucking touch her!”



Jake laughed darkly. Erika can finally see his face now. He was gorgeous, actually. Not fit for the evil grin he wore.

“Emily, how many times do I have to fucking tell you. You’re in this band because of Drew. I don’t know if he’s stupid enough to be so in love with you or he only sees you as a whore. As I see you.”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy the time we spent together…” Jake walked closer to Emily and touched her hair seductively.

“It was just one time and I fucking regret it!”

Jake laughed harder. His eyes traveled all over Emily’s body and then quickly darted to Erika who silently watched them conversed from behind the drumkits. This was supposed to be her first time trying out for this band, because she had been playing drums secretly until she bleed but had no place to show it off.

Fade Out May at the time, was in need of a drummer. Their last drummer went off to create his own band for the upcoming battle of the band and ditched them at the last minute.

Jake swayed his hips as he walked towards her and finally stood in front of her, towering over. His dark blue eyes arched sharply that she couldn’t bear to look.

“You’re too pretty to be hiding behind the drums, baby. Why don’t you be my whore, instead?” Jake cupped her chin tightly and she fell out of breath instantly.

“Jake! Stop it!” Emily shouted and struggled to pull him away. Erika froze, she couldn’t do anything as Jake drew nearer, his grin grew wider.

“Jake!”

Jake raised his idle hand and slapped Emily across her face.



“Emily!”

She bolted upright, kept on forgetting that the ceiling above her head was low. She accidentally knocked her head on it again, for the 4th time already during this tour. Johnny grunted softly, a bit disturbed by her head thumping on his bunk floor but kept on snoring after that.

Erika rubbed her forehead softly, her face squeezed in pain. She scanned around at the now dark ambient. Everybody was deep in slumber and occasionally there was a faint sound of Matthew murmuring something in his sleep.

She took a deep breath. That nightmare of Emily and Jake had been replaying in her sleep so much that she felt like vomiting. It was actually pieces of her memory, of her dark past but she refused to linger on it anymore. Some of it were true and some were not. She can’t even tell which is which.

She got out of her bunk, still rubbing her forehead and went to the dark kitchen. The bus had parked apparently and from the window view she could see a stadium across the street, reflected by the dimly lighted street lamps.

“Woah. That’s where we gonna play?” she whispered to herself. Nervous feeling swarmed over her all of a sudden, though she barely even enters the stadium grounds.

Erika shook her head briefly, trying to brush off that anxiety and went towards the fridge. The boys had kept nothing but beer and occasionally whisky in here. Erika only had her mineral water in it and she hadn’t much space to store them anymore. She drank her water as she scanned around and saw Terrance, the bus driver was snoring quite loudly on the couch. Poor guy. If she and Arin didn’t follow them on this tour then Terrance would have one of the bunks to himself.

“Nightmare again?”

She spat from her water and coughed when a voice suddenly spoke from behind her back. She spun in the darkness and saw a half of Brian’s face lit by that damn street lamps outside.

“Syn! You scared me.”

Brian smiled in the dark. His eyes watching her carefully.

“I heard you call out your friend’s name.” he ignored her glare and took a seat in front of her, which was beside Terrance while she stood still facing him. He gazed at her; half of his face remained in the dark while the other half was visible, and staring straight into her eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She had never been alone with him ever since that graveyard encounter, because there was always Michelle or the guys around.

“Yeah. Been having that nightmare for days now.”

Brian nodded. “Me too.”

Erika blinked at him, didn’t actually understand what he meant by that.

“Jimmy. I kept dreaming of him falling and I couldn’t catch him.” His eyes wandered off and Erika said nothing. They both sat in silent listening to Terrance’s snoring.

“It’s getting really late. I should go back to sleep.” She broke the long pause while placing her mineral water on the counter top and turned away.

“Stay.”

She halted. Brian’s warm-milk voice was making her feet planted on the floor.

“I’d like to know your story.” He added.

Erika turned slowly. His brown eyes glinted in soft expression, and his smile was sincere. How could she ever say no? She had the biggest crush on him since the first day, and being close to him now made it grew even bigger.

“What do you wanna know?”

“Everything.”

She settled down on the couch near him, careful not to be too close because she adored Michelle so much, she wouldn’t dare having the thought of touching Brian intimately. He seemed like he didn’t mind Erika sitting apart from him.

“How long have you been friends with her?”

“Since I was twelve.”

“How did you guys meet?”

“At summer camp.” She laughed softly to herself, remembering those days. “She was a stuck up bitch. Everybody hated her. I was – a little bit naughty. I set one of the instructor’s hair on fire.”

Brian chuckled, as he can totally imagine that was the kind of childhood he and Jimmy had been through.

“I was sent to a punishment house as they called it, and Emily was already there. So we bonded.”

Erika looked up to him, he was still listening, and his smirk hadn’t gone off.

“When you said that she protected you from the guys, what did you mean?”

Her eyes widened at that question. She can’t believe that he still remembered that. She took a long deep breath before answering him.

“I’ve always been bullied by people around me. They called me by many names. Slut, whore, easy tramp…just because I hang out with her - Emily.”

Brian creased his forehead, trying to read between the lines.

“I love her, honestly. But her lifestyle -” she paused, imagining how Emily saved her life too many times by replacing her for Jake. Erika was helpless at the time, Jake was drunk. After all, Jake had always seen her as his personal slave and a place for him to rage out his drunken lust.



That night, Jake succeeded in catching her waist, just after their winning battle of the band in Santa Barbara. She was about to go into her car but Jake stopped her and pinned her against the wall. She struggled and hastily searched around but nobody was there. Drew was already off with the equipments and she remembered seeing Emily got into her car earlier.

“Jake, please don’t do this. You’re drunk! Get a fucking grip Jake!”

Jake laughed darkly. “Baby, I’ve been waiting for this ever since your try outs with our band.”

Erika pushed him harder, he gripped even tighter. She finally can bring herself to scream, but as soon as she opened her mouth, Jake cupped it with his hand.

“Syhhh. Scream only when I’m inside you.”

She struggled even more, screaming her heart out but no voice escaped her lungs. It just went back inside her throat in vain.

“Jake! Stop it! I told you not to touch her!”

Both Erika and Jake turned their heads to the voice. Emily was there, fuming and scared at the same time. She wished Drew was here, but he wasn’t.

“Well, well, well. Looky here. Two whores in one night. I’m fucking lucky tonight.”

“Let her go. Have me instead.”

Erika bulged her eyes in horror though she was still voiceless because Jake’s hand cupped tightly on her mouth.

“What?” Jake slurred, drunkenly arched his eyebrows up.

Emily went near him. She pulled him closer to her and kissed him passionately. Jake let Erika go and immediately immersed into Emily’s body.

Erika was stunned there, not knowing what to do. She couldn’t believe Emily did this. But for her. What if Drew found out about it?

“Erik, run!” Emily whispered as Jake started to bury himself in her neck, his hands traveled everywhere on her body.

Erika had no choice but to run away. With her eyes still bulging, she went into her car, started off the engine and sped away. What the fuck just happened?



That was the first time Emily saved her. It kept reoccurring that Erika felt disgusted with Jake. She even swore to kill him someday, but Emily kept saying that they need him. And Drew can’t find out about it. Until it finally killed her. She was buried along with the secret.

“Erika?”

She flinched at Brian’s voice. With teary eyes, she looked up and found he was waving in front of her.

“What are you zoning off about?”

She hesitated. Her heart’s heavy as she didn’t want to tell Brian everything. It was too painful to even remember them. She wiped the traces of her tears and replied.

“Nothing. I really should go back to sleep. Or I’ll be the last person to wake up tomorrow.”

She got up from the couch and went into her bunk in silent as Brian let her go. She closed off the curtain and trying to drift off to sleep. But that memory just now kept haunting her. Her best friend committed suicide and no longer around to save her. Imagining that, tears fell down her cheek, finally.

Notes

A/N: sorry for the late update. today was indeed a hectic day for me..sigh