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December 20, 2007
I think I’d give anything to go back to the time when I was a small child. The carefree innocent mindset with the play dates at the park and the wonderment of God. Stress was a word that could not be comprehended, something that did not exist in the world of a four year old. At that age, we knew how to play outside in the mud and that chocolate chip cookies could only be eaten after dinner. We knew that our parents loved us, tickled our tummies to make us laugh, and took care of us when we were sick. They made sure we had milk to drink and tucked us into bed at night, singing our special songs or reading our favorite books.
As adults we live in a world of uncertainty; a world of questioning and fear. We thrive off of dramatic situations, dealing with stresses from jobs, relationships and societal demands. Childhood is long forgotten along with the many other things you forget as you age; the color of your dress the first day of third grade or the time you went on a trip with your parents when you were six. But as adults we are masochists, living for the pain and suffering that we recall inside our minds. We strive for happiness and perfection but would much rather be miserable and broken for it gives us something to complain about. It gives us the excuses we need to keep us from what we honestly desire. Happiness is not hard to come by if you work for it but the easiest route is to be miserable; it is the most natural. This is how we function as human beings for we understand that without suffering, there is only happiness and nothing is learned. Nothing is gained or understood, mastered or accomplished.
So what do we do to ourselves? Do we solve our problems and forge our path to happiness? Perhaps a mere fifty percent of the time. The more common solution? Finding something else to “make us happy” in the meantime, as we struggle with identity, decisions and ultimately the meaning of life. A very wise and amazing musician once said:
There’s beauty in danger; safety in harm.
That statement, so simple and yet so powerful was a small part of my life. A small, definition if you will of Zachary James Baker.
Though eight years have passed, the struggles I endured throughout my high school still have such a strong effect on my views and beliefs, my personality and interactions with others. I’d like to think I have matured over the years and the pure anger I once possessed has faded and dulled but the sting still remains. I was the kid who was always picked on, ridiculed for various reasons. Because of that I trained myself to have a hard exterior, opting to be the ‘badass’ who would someday change the world. I was fortunate enough to have friends that truly cared for me, friends that I knew wanted me around and friends that had my back in a fight. More accurately, friends that would save my ass during a fight.
High school wasn’t all bad of course, with my friends, my passion for guitar, baseball, my first time and the parties; it definitely had its good moments. But those good moments aren’t the only ones that define our lives. Those hard memories and harsh words create part of who we are and who we are to become. Take me for an example; my friends and I started a band in high school and stuck with it, finally becoming famous some time later. My stage name? ZackyVengeance. Take a guess why. As one of my best friends, Matt, once said, “Zacky had a problem with a lot of people in high school and this [the band] was his way of giving them the finger. Hence his name, Vengeance.” Matt couldn’t have been more on the money.
I think that’s enough prophetic musings for today. We’re all finally home from a long tour and it is time to relax. Time to reflect and spend the time with those whom we love, whom we’ve missed and whom we couldn’t live without: family.
As adults we live in a world of uncertainty; a world of questioning and fear. We thrive off of dramatic situations, dealing with stresses from jobs, relationships and societal demands. Childhood is long forgotten along with the many other things you forget as you age; the color of your dress the first day of third grade or the time you went on a trip with your parents when you were six. But as adults we are masochists, living for the pain and suffering that we recall inside our minds. We strive for happiness and perfection but would much rather be miserable and broken for it gives us something to complain about. It gives us the excuses we need to keep us from what we honestly desire. Happiness is not hard to come by if you work for it but the easiest route is to be miserable; it is the most natural. This is how we function as human beings for we understand that without suffering, there is only happiness and nothing is learned. Nothing is gained or understood, mastered or accomplished.
So what do we do to ourselves? Do we solve our problems and forge our path to happiness? Perhaps a mere fifty percent of the time. The more common solution? Finding something else to “make us happy” in the meantime, as we struggle with identity, decisions and ultimately the meaning of life. A very wise and amazing musician once said:
There’s beauty in danger; safety in harm.
That statement, so simple and yet so powerful was a small part of my life. A small, definition if you will of Zachary James Baker.
Though eight years have passed, the struggles I endured throughout my high school still have such a strong effect on my views and beliefs, my personality and interactions with others. I’d like to think I have matured over the years and the pure anger I once possessed has faded and dulled but the sting still remains. I was the kid who was always picked on, ridiculed for various reasons. Because of that I trained myself to have a hard exterior, opting to be the ‘badass’ who would someday change the world. I was fortunate enough to have friends that truly cared for me, friends that I knew wanted me around and friends that had my back in a fight. More accurately, friends that would save my ass during a fight.
High school wasn’t all bad of course, with my friends, my passion for guitar, baseball, my first time and the parties; it definitely had its good moments. But those good moments aren’t the only ones that define our lives. Those hard memories and harsh words create part of who we are and who we are to become. Take me for an example; my friends and I started a band in high school and stuck with it, finally becoming famous some time later. My stage name? ZackyVengeance. Take a guess why. As one of my best friends, Matt, once said, “Zacky had a problem with a lot of people in high school and this [the band] was his way of giving them the finger. Hence his name, Vengeance.” Matt couldn’t have been more on the money.
I think that’s enough prophetic musings for today. We’re all finally home from a long tour and it is time to relax. Time to reflect and spend the time with those whom we love, whom we’ve missed and whom we couldn’t live without: family.
Notes
Rate and comment to let me know what you think and if you want more!xoxo,
Meg
