October 2008

The pounding bass directed the erratic heartbeats of all those sitting in the back of the van, laughing loudly and drunkenly. A bottle of vodka and a fresh joint were being passed around to the five, who were higher than the moon. Among them sat Adiana, her freshly dyed hair was a bright purple. Her tongue lashes out over her wet pierced lips, picking up what remains of her last sloppy swallow of the vodka bottle she had drunken from.

"Jake, did you see the look on the guy's face when Addy ran in and took the vod?" giggles one of the girls, leaning against the boyfriend as she hiccups slightly. The boy at her side, Jake, chuckles and wraps an arm around the girl's loose shoulders.

"Yeah, I saw Lila. I was there, remember?"

"Oh right..." she drawls, before slumping against him sleepily and curling up in his lap. The other four laugh at her lightweight actions, but leave her be. This isn't the first time she has passed out from too much alcohol.

"Gotta give you points for that one, Ads. Fucking brilliant the way you just waltz in there, took it off the shelf and walked out."

Addy grins, taking the bottle of vodka from his hands.

"Why thank you, my dear Oliver. I do try my best!" She lets out another fit of giggles until the other teen, Theo, holds up a small bag with white powder in it.

"Look what I got off my brother," he says with a grin. Jake lunges forward, taking the bag and holding it to his chest happily.

"The man after my own heart! Fuck, I love this shit," he says with a grin before reaching for his wallet in his back pocket. Oliver sits back, leaning against one of the walls of the van while Addy sits up slightly.

"What's that?" asks the twenty year old, trying to get a better look at it while her only light was the street lamp above them, flickering down at the van.

"This," Jake says, holding up the bag while he pulls a twenty dollar bill from his wallet, "is nose candy, my dear, Adiana. This shit will send you higher than any joint."

He pulls down a shelf hooked to the wall. It falls, giving a surface for him to place the bag as he rolls up the dollar bill into a tight circle. Addy looks up confused, until Theo pulls the bag toward him and drops a few lines onto the table. Addy soon understands just what it is.

"I don't know guys, don't you think we've had enough tonight? Lets just save it for another time and-"

"Ads, darling, I've been craving this shit for a fucking week. So shut the fuck up and sit there like a good bitch," Jake growls, surprising Addy and Oliver by the sudden aggression. Addy wraps her arms around her shoulders and keeps quiet, simply watching as Theo and Jake a line, before pouring out one and handing Addy the rolled up bill.

"Try it," Jake tells her, but his voice is sloppy and drawling around his accent. Addy shakes her head and Jake reaches over, grabbing her hair, and shoving her head to the table. "Take the fucking line, Addy."

Theo, too high in his own world to realize what is going on, leans against the wall. Oliver looks away, simply taking more and more deep swallows of the vodka in his hand. Jake forces Addy's face to the table, completely forgetting about the passed out Lila. Addy, too disoriented to fight back, takes the held out dollar bill and does as Jake and Theo had just a few minutes ago.

The van goes silent as Addy continues to sniffle, the awkward feeling of something in her nose irritating her, before the drug hits.

Her body is lifted off the ground, floating in a warm sea. She can feel the metal of the van's wall through her shirt, and her eyes dilate immediately, making it easier to see through darkness.

"Fuck," she gasps, panting softly as her heartbeat races, faster and faster. Jake sits back with a grin of success. The teens sit there in the van, in the empty parking lot, until well after dawn, giggling and higher than the stars. Oliver climbs into the front seat and drives them all home, or to their college dorms. As he drops off Addy, his last stop before his own home, he takes one look at her. Her fingers are twitching, her eyes are bloodshot and she has an obvious hang over, but Oliver is more worried about the addiction that he knows she now has.

"You gonna be okay?" he asks softly. She winces at his voice, still sensitive to everything before nodding.

"Yeah, I'm good, Oli," she says hurried before jumping from the van and hurrying inside. Oliver watches as she fleets away from the sun and into the house. He pulls away, not realizing it will be the last time he will see his childhood friend. If he had known, there would have been so many things he would have done.

Just a few miles from her house, his van is hit by a large truck, t-boning his side.


January 2009

Adiana stares at the bottle of sleeping pills sitting on the table in front of her. Her dingy apartment is silent except for her breathing. There's a bottle of whiskey calling her name, demanding her to take the bottle of alcohol and pills, and mix them like a cocktail to drink.

She stares at it just a bit longer, before the pain of her loss completely takes over. She sobs into her hands, knocking the bottle of pills off the table. The bottle goes flying, only to hit a wall and burst open. The white pills are scattered across the kitchen floor.

"What have I done to myself, Oliver?" she sobs, tears falling down her cheeks. Her face is red from the crying as she breathes heavily, trying to calm herself. "I can't take it anymore. I can't take the addiction. I can't take the stares I get. I can't take this fucking life anymore."

Standing from the chair, the wooden legs scrape against the kitchen tile before she kneels down to gathering the pills in her hands. There's a total of twenty there, and she knows that is more than enough. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey calling out to her, Addy screws off the top and takes a large swallow. The burn is dull in her throat. It can't compare to the pain.

She sits on her bed. The pillow has fallen in the floor and the sheet is bundled near the end. She takes as many of the pills as she knows she can swallow at once, and washes them down with another swig of the whiskey. She does this until all of them are gone, and chugs the rest of the bottle until her fingers start to shake from the sobs and her eyes grow heavy.

"I'm so sorry, Oli," she cries softly, before falling into a deep, never ending sleep.

And just as she lays there, she swears she hears Oliver screaming her name --