Strawberries were in season and Val was having a field day with the ten punnets Matthew had bought from the markets. Incidentally he’d kept a punnet to himself and was busy eating them while going over his resignation papers.

Val still couldn’t believe her husband had actually quit from the Creed. That was unheard of. No one, no one ever left the Creed. Ever. Not unless they were killed in service or were too old. Matthew was the first to resign out of hand. She paused on the fruit salad she was preparing for the big campaign luncheon to check up on her husband.

Matthew sat at the kitchen table pen in hand, doodling absently on a napkin while reading over his papers. His gaze lifted as Val sat opposite him, leaning her elbows against the top of the table. He smiled slightly at her.

“How’s prep going for the lunch?”

“Slow. How’s that going?” She nodded at his paperwork. Matthew scratched at his hairline with the end of his pen and scowled a little.

“You’d think resigning would be simple…” He sighed. “James said he’s coming around in a few to speak to me.”

Val tilted her head to the side. “The shrink has to get in on it?”

Matthew snorted. “First time anyone’s ever quit? Yeah, guess they don’t want to set a precedent.”

“So, they want to figure out what’s wrong with your head so they can prevent it happening again?” She was irritated by the thought of that. Her husband shrugged as he scribbled his signature on the bottom of the last page. “That’s a bit sad…”

“Sad is not the word, Val,” Matthew muttered. He popped another strawberry in his mouth, chewing slowly. Then he picked out another particularly juicy one and turned to face her. “Here, open your mouth.” She blinked at him; the corners of his mouth curved in a mischievous grin. “I want to feed you. Looks like you could do with some sweetening up.”

Val cocked an eyebrow at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Matthew held the strawberry out to her. “You haven’t stopped all morning…all week.”

“Neither have you…whatever it is you’re up to.” Val pursed her mouth in a severe line.

He sighed putting the strawberry back in the container. “Val.”

“Yes? You know if you told me what you and your friends are doing-”

“It’s illegal.” The words dropped like stones between them and shock registered on her face. Matthew just shook his head and returned to his paperwork, effectively ending their conversation. Val wasn’t having any of it. She pulled his paperwork from his hands and leaned in close.

“What the hell do you mean ‘it’s illegal’?” Her voice was sharp.

Matthew looked at her, expression guarded. “I mean if we get caught we could be charged for it.”

Val stared at him, incredulity mixed with her surprise. She sat down again and blinked rapidly, shaking her head. She couldn’t get her head around the idea that her husband who seemed to be so against any form of illegal activity was engaging in that very kind of thing.

“What exactly…?”

Matthew frowned, brow creasing as he was obviously considering whether he should answer her or not. She bit at the inside of her cheek then looked down at her hands, feeling a little miffed.

“Please…I just want to understand…”

He sighed. “I can’t tell you. Not for a little while…”

Val looked oddly at him. “So…you will tell me?”

His lips twisted slightly. “Yeah. Just not yet.” Val seemed to visibly relax at his promise and she leaned forward and smiled at him. He raised his eyebrows at her then realised he had picked up a strawberry without noticing and rolled it between his fingers. “You want this?”

Val smirked, “You said you wanted to feed me.”

Matthew chuckled and fed her the strawberry, licking his lips as she slowly took a bite. Red juice trickled down her chin and he shifted closer so he could lean in and kiss her slowly, catching the drops. Val shivered at the contact and leaned in closer.

“Oh shit…I’m sorry…”

They jumped apart at Johnny’s voice; Matthew swore under his breath as Val giggled softly a hint of pink colouring her cheeks. They had almost forgotten the younger man was still in their house. Matthew hadn’t managed to broach the subject of his return to the prison as of yet. He didn’t have the heart to tell him and so had left it alone for the time being. Though that probably wasn’t such a good thing since he had to be back by that night.

“Johnny…you have the worst timing…” Matthew growled. Johnny shrugged apologetically then nodded back over his shoulder.

“Doctor James just pulled up outside. Recognise the Creed symbol on his car…”

Val sighed as she stood and returned to the kitchen bench. “You’d better go talk with him, love…I’ll finish my fruit salad.”

Matthew nodded then frowned at Johnny, “I need to talk to you after.”

Johnny blinked at him, “About what?”

“About you,” Matthew mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen, and headed for the front door.

* * * * *

Doctor James crossed his legs at the ankle and looked steadily at Matthew who sat opposite with his head tilted back.

“You want to explain to me, Matthew?”

“What’s there to explain?” Matthew’s tone was hard.

“Why did you quit.”

“Why do you think?”

“Matthew, this won’t help you if you’re just going to be antagonistic.”

Matthew sighed finally meeting the counsellor’s calm gaze. He didn’t answer his question straight away, though. He just frowned at him and said, “I can’t take Johnny back to the Astor…”

The doctor looked a little taken aback by his confession. “Was that what Berry instructed you to do.”

“Yeah…but, I can’t do it. Johnny’s doing really well and I can’t be responsible for ruining that.” Matthew paused, rubbing at his forehead.

Doctor James’ eyes narrowed as he realised something. “Was that part of the reason you quit?” Matthew scrunched up his face in consternation. The doctor clarified, “You were sick of being told to do things you didn’t want to do?”

Matthew averted his gaze his eyes drifting to the window that looked out on the front yard. The good doctor waited patiently, knowing from experience that if given time and space the man in front of him would open up. Eventually, he dragged himself from wherever his mind had drifted and he looked at the doctor with a weary expression etched into his features.

“That’s part of it.” He shifted on his seat. “Mostly because I felt like the biggest frickin’ hypocrite.” He shook his head angrily. “How could I keep doing what I was doing when I’m totally against it?”

“You weren’t when you started, though?”

“No, no I wasn’t. But, people change, right doc?” Matthew raised both his eyebrows at Doctor James. “I mean, even Eskino…” He trailed off and looked away again.

“Yes, even Eskino,” James murmured, wondering what the younger man meant by that statement. Though, obviously he wasn’t going to explain it, the expression in his eyes told the good doctor not to go there.

Matthew straightened his shoulders a determined look coming over his face.

“So, that’s really all I can say…I’ve told you pretty much everything else before.” And that much was true.

Over the last month or so during their sessions, Matthew had finally told the doctor everything he had told Valary. How he had felt over Matt’s execution – numb, devastated; how he felt about his demotion – angry, yet strangely relieved; how he felt about Jason replacing him – coldly indifferent, but with a certain amount of betrayal toward his former friend and colleague. He’d laid out all the nasty details of his inner workings and he actually felt the better for it.

The doctor nodded slowly, scribbling something on the pad that he rested on his knee. “I have one further question.”

Matthew tilted his head. “Ask it.”

“Now that you’ve quit? What will you do with your time?”

The big male smirked lazily, the corners of his lips twisting upwards. “Now, that would be telling, doc…but I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.” His eyes danced as they lit up with a mischievous light and the doctor couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well, as long as you are keeping yourself busy, Matthew. You will work through this time of your life. Perhaps you and your wife?”

Matthew caught at what he was hinting and smiled softly. “I’m planning on spending more time with Val. I owe her big time…”

“Good. That will be good for both of you.” Doctor James closed his notepad and unfolded himself from his seat. “That completes our session for today. If you can show me your papers I will sign them and you can forward them to the Creed to finalise your resignation.”

Matthew climbed to his feet and grabbed his papers where they were on the coffee table, handing them over. The doctor read each section, scribbled a few notes then scrawled his signature at the bottom of each page.

“Done,” James smiled as he passed them back to him. Matthew rolled the documentation in his hands a nervous gesture, but smiled faintly in gratitude.

“I will see you out, doc…”

The doctor nodded then paused regarding him. “This is highly irregular, but if you are ever in need of my services just call my cell number. I will see you free of charge.”

Matthew blinked at Doctor James’ offer, moved by his compassionate gesture. “Thank you, James….I appreciate it.”

The doctor smiled shaking his hand firmly. “Good luck with everything, Matthew.”

“I don’t believe in luck, Doctor,” Matthew murmured as he showed him to the door.

Doctor James looked seriously at the young man before him and smiled kindly, as he said in reply, “No, I don’t suppose you do.” He paused then smiled slightly, “By the way, strawberries are in season. I noticed you were eating some.”

Matthew chuckled. “You should try the ones from the market, doc. A strawberry a day keeps the doctor away."

Doctor James smiled softly as he stepped outside and bid him good day. “That’s not quite how the saying goes, Shadows.”

“No, but it’ll do for me. Good bye, doc.”

“And a good bye to you.”