It was a very subdued, withdrawn Johnny who sat across from Matthew at the kitchen table, as Val served dinner, chatting away about her day’s work. After they had left the basement, the younger male had occupied himself with wandering the house like a lonely ghost, obviously deep in thought. He was shocked, which was entirely expected of him considering what he’d seen.

Matthew’s little video was a surprise package, even to him. A year had gone since he’d filmed himself, and a year had gone since he’d watched it. In fact he couldn’t even remember ever watching it back after that. The recording had taken place at such an odd, random time of the year. Between the insanity of end of year functions and parties, it was just another thing in his busy December calendar that was then swept aside for the New Year. Of course, he didn’t forget what it was that he said and did on that small piece of film, he just hadn’t taken the time to go over it again since.

Seeing Johnny’s reaction to it had inexplicably warmed something in Matthew’s heart, stirred some inner emotion that he hadn’t felt in a long while. And, watching it himself, made him realise that no matter how hard he worked to uphold and maintain the laws, his heart was no longer in it. He was very, very close to giving out. And that could only mean one thing. It was time to get out.

“Matt?”

“Huh?” Matthew blinked, realising Val was looking directly at him, her eyebrows raised questioningly at him.

Val sighed, “I said, do you want some chicken?”

“Oh, right. Thanks,” he smiled as she dished several pieces onto his plate.

Val served herself last as she sat down opposite her husband. “So, how did things go with Johnny’s parents?”

Johnny looked up from his plate, as Matthew tilted his head, brow furrowed faintly.

“Why don’t you ask him, Val?”

Val grimaced apologetically before she turned her gaze to the younger man. “Johnny?”

“Uhuh?” He met her eyes and frowned a little.

“How was it?”

Johnny dropped his stare back to his plate, and pushed some of the food around with his fork. He hunched up his shoulders for a moment then allowed them to slump. For a few minutes it seemed he wouldn’t respond, but then he looked up again and muttered in a barely audible tone.

“Interesting.”

Matthew blinked at that, shaking his head. “That’s it? Come on, it was good, wasn’t it? To see your parents and all…”

Johnny lifted his shoulders in a noncommittal gesture then returned his concentration to the food in front of him. The bigger man pulled a face.

“Matt,” Val admonished her husband. “If that’s all he wants to say, just let him be.”

Matthew held his hand up in a placating gesture as he pushed his own plate away from him. “Alright, I was just saying.”

Val gave him a funny look. “Anyway, what else did you two get up to? You can’t have been at the Seward’s all day.”

There was an uncomfortable pause where Matt found himself just staring at his wife. She raised her eyebrows at him her look pointed. He sighed, as he propped his elbows against the edge of the table. He wasn’t exactly sure how to go about explaining what they’d done, considering the legality issues behind it all. But, he didn’t want to be dishonest.

Val frowned at his hesitation, though. “Matt? Are you up to something?”

“What? Why’d you ask that?” Matthew asked, frowning as well.

“You don’t usually take this long to tell me how your day went.”

“I hardly ever tell you how my day went. It’s usually always the same.”

“Not this time. It’s not every day you have Luke’s younger brother with you,” she pointed out.

“Shit, Val,” Matt groaned. “I can’t believe you brought Luke up.”

At the mention of his elder brother’s name, Johnny interrupted, shocking the couple to a standstill.

“Shut up about my brother!”

They turned as one to the younger man.

“What?” Matthew said his voice tense.

Johnny glared at him. “Just stop saying his name.”

Val sucked at her bottom lip before mumbling an apology, but it was as if she wasn’t even in the room because Johnny only focussed his attention on Matt.

“You don’t fucking say his name, okay? Just…stop…okay,” he trailed off, a slight tremor in his voice.

Matthew sighed, “Okay, I’m sorry.” He pushed away from the table, taking his plate with him. Val watched him as he headed for the kitchen sink, before looking back at the younger male.

Johnny had his head down his hand gripping his fork tightly. His knuckles were white from the hold he had on the utensil.

“Johnny?” she whispered tentatively.

He shook his head, but said, “I miss him. Every day. And, I hate…” his voice petered out as he sniffed a little.

Valary sat there opposite Johnny uncertain what to do or say, but she didn’t have to ponder that for too long because Johnny lifted his head and continued talking. Which considering how quiet he’d been over dinner, was a surprise.

“I hate all the stupid laws. I wish someone would do something to change it…” He shot a look toward Matt that Val couldn’t decipher. It confused her, almost as much as the look her husband gave Johnny in return. Matthew’s expression was dark, as he rolled his eyes toward him.

The smaller male grunted in disgust before he blurted out, “You’re such a hypocrite.”

Val blinked her eyes moving between the two men. She kept quiet though. It wasn’t often anyone confronted Matt over anything, and aside from the argument he’d had with Zacky earlier in the week, it was a very rare occurrence that anyone would call him out for anything at all. She wanted to see, hear how he would respond.

Matthew set his plate down in the sink then gripped the edge of the basin hard. The tendons in his wrists stood out, his muscles tightened visibly. He closed his eyes for a long moment before speaking through gritted teeth.

“I’m the TaskerOne of The Creed; I can’t do anything that’d fuck up my career.”

Johnny scoffed, “But you hate all this as much as I do. As much as your friends do. You admitted as much on that video.”

“Jesus, Christ.” Matthew turned around, and took a step toward the smaller man who actually shrank into his seat. “Nobody knows about that except for you.”

Johnny cringed at the anger in his voice.

Val blinked, shooting a surprised glance at her husband. “What is he talking about?”

Matthew shook his head. His wife stood, glaring at him.

“Don’t you do that to me, Matthew. Don’t you shut me out. I want to know.”

He met her furious gaze, and sighed dragging his fingers over his shorn hair. “Val…” He cleared his throat roughly. “Look, at the end of last year I was out of it. Exhausted from the year…and I was just pissed at a lot of things.”

“So?”

“So, I recorded a bit of a rant…because, I don’t know. I needed to let it out.” Matt shrugged, leaning back against the bench.

Val’s mouth turned down at the corners. “Because you’d rather vent to yourself then tell your wife, who could possibly help you out?”

Matthew grimaced, but she didn’t let him defend himself. “Oh, no wait, that’s not something you’d do because that’d be a sign of weakness.”

“Val…”

“No, you know I’m right. You don’t like to be seen as soft by anyone. But, y’know of all the people you could trust, your wife happens to be one of them.”

Matt stared at her, and then said, “We weren’t even married then.”

For a moment there was silence, and then Johnny, inexplicably began to laugh. Long and hard and as if he would burst at any moment. Val and Matt turned to stare at him, then looked back at each other. The absurdity of the moment finally dawned on them and Matt let out a soft chuckle. Val smiled faintly, shaking her head.

But then she got serious again. Johnny’s amusement subsided and he went back to being quiet on his chair. Val looked up at her husband.

“I’m still right, though.”

Matthew folded his arms over his chest and nodded, not wanting to continue the one-sided argument with her.

“Well?” Val snapped.

He said, with a confused look, “Well, what?”

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“To what?”

“To what I just said.”

Matthew blinked. “What do you want me to say? Oh, ‘you’re so right, darling. I’m a closed off bastard, who doesn’t want to seem weak’.” He rolled his eyes. “What the hell good is that supposed to do?”

Val slid back down on her chair and leaned forward against the table, smearing her hands over her face. She shook her head a little, unable to meet her husband’s gaze anymore. The atmosphere in the room had tightened and even Johnny could feel the tension between the couple. He sank down on his chair so as to become as unnoticeable as possible, giving them a semblance of privacy. Not that it made much difference.

After a few minutes, Matthew turned and walked out of the room, without another word, or another glance back. Val stayed at the table for a moment, before pushing her chair and getting up. She glanced absently over at Johnny.

“I’ll set up the spare room for you.”

Johnny started, opening his mouth, but she held up a hand and shook her head. “You’re not going back to that tent. If Matt says anything, tell him I’m fine with it.”

Johnny nodded; Val added, not really speaking to him anymore, “If he’s going to go showing you, personal stuff that he won’t talk to me about…” She didn’t finish just went over to the sink and proceeded to clear up the dishes.

Johnny observed her in silence for several moments, but then spoke up, his voice scratchy. “Um…Val, I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but…” He paused, getting up and walking over to stand at the other end of the bench.

She looked up at him. “But?”

“Do you want me to do that?” Johnny pointed with his chin at the dishes.

Val blinked several times as if she was surprised at the male’s offer. She had to pull her mind together before she could formulate a response.

“Um, sure…if you want.”

Johnny shoved his hands in the pockets of his shorts and mumbled in response, “You could…um…go and see how he’s doing…” He said this in a low voice because he didn’t want to appear as if he was telling her what to do. It wasn’t his place, after all.

Val smiled a little, realising almost in an instant what the younger male was doing. He obviously had sensed the tension; it was pretty hard to miss. She had felt it. It was almost a tangible thing. She removed her hands from the basin and stepped back.

“The detergent’s in the cupboard under the basin. Just stack the plates on the rack when you’re finished.”

Johnny smiled for the first time since they’d been in the kitchen. “I know how to wash dishes, Valary.”

Val laughed, “Sorry, of course. Most people do…um…well, I’ll leave you to it. Will you be alright here?”

Johnny nodded as he moved in front of the sink.

Val looked at him for a moment longer; he flashed a half-hearted smile at her. She patted the edge of the bench then made for the door. She paused to look back at him. He waved a hand at her. Sighing, she turned and left the kitchen.

* * * * *

When Val walked into the bedroom she could see Matthew on the bed, his big body still. He lay face down with his head burrowed against his pillow. He’d stripped down to his shorts and she could see the taut lines of muscle running the length of his back. She hesitated a moment before she climbed up on the bed, kicking her shoes off on the way.

Matt didn’t move, until she settled next to him and placed a hand against his back. With a grunt, he turned his head so he could look at her.

“Hey,” she said with a small smile.

“Hey…” Matt murmured as he reached for her free hand. Val allowed him to take hold of it and just watched as he began to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb. It was a bit awkward because of the fact that he was on his stomach and she was positioned on her side next to him, but it was obvious he didn’t want to move, yet.

Val squeezed at his hand. “I’m sorry about before.”

Matthew shook his head, pressing his lips against the tips of her fingers.

Val started, “I shouldn’t have-”

“Shhh, Val…you were right.” Matthew looked into her eyes, expression grave. He continued before she could protest, “You were right to say all that.” He closed his eyes for a moment, so he didn’t see her shake her head at him. When he opened them again he could see the pained look on her face. “What?”

Val cleared her throat, but instead of saying what she really wanted to – ‘sorry for suggesting you’re weak’, she said, “Saying it in front of Johnny probably wasn’t the wisest move, though.”

He chuckled. “Maybe not. But…you were still right.” He shifted onto his side so he could push her hair from her face. They were quiet for a moment as they observed each other. Then he added, “I’m not very good at talking about things like this.”

Val settled on her side, not knowing whether she should agree with him or not. She didn’t want to upset him by suggesting she thought badly of him in any way. His temper was not something she wanted to trigger. Nor did she want him to think that she didn’t support him in every way.

Matthew knew her mind, though and said with a hint of bitterness, “You agree with that, don’t you.”

“Matt…” she sighed but said nothing more. He didn’t press and just continued to stroke her hand.

After a few minutes, he shifted again, propping his cheek against his hand and looking down at her. “Tell me about your day?”

Val narrowed her eyes slightly at him. “I already did.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t really paying attention,” Matthew admitted, which shocked her a little. Normally he would have argued her point or just shut himself down and not responded to her statement at all. But, he had been acting somewhat different ever since she’d arrived home and part of her had to concede it was a surprise. It reminded her a little of how he used to be when they were a younger. Familiar, yet strange all at once.

Keeping all those thoughts quiet, Val looked at him to gauge his mood – still tensed, but a little more relaxed than earlier - before she said, “Okay…I can do that.”

He smiled and rested his head back against the pillow, closing his eyes again. Giving her hand a light touch he muttered, “I’m listening.”

And so Val proceeded to regale her husband with the goings on at the council that day. He listened with his eyes shut, but his face turned toward her. She could tell he was concentrating by the way his expressions changed, and the fact that he made muttered responses whenever he wanted her to clarify something.

The normality of the moment was heart wrenching for Valary, because she knew it probably wouldn’t last. But, she would take whatever time she could with Matt no matter what guise it came in, and she would savour it for as long as she was able. And even though Johnny was probably no more than a hundred feet away in the kitchen, it felt as if it was just her and Matt in the house and that was a good feeling.