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If We Ever Meet Again

Chapter Nineteen

Brian’ P.O.V

Fuck this month had been real confusing and I guess I was the main provider for that. I knew that Ashleigh was pissed and just as confused as I was, which she had the right to be but I barely had any explanation for what I did. Not right away at least. When I saw her face every time all of us decided to meet up it brought back some old memories and just the serenity and familiarity in our hanging out. It felt safe in some fucked up way just to be around her and to know that she was happy, even if she hated my guts.

I knew that it was way out of line to do what I did and it blew things up out of proportion with me and Ash, I was trying to get our old relationship back on track and I’d done it in all the wrong ways. There was just something that possessed me when I saw the fire in her eyes and how her eyes narrowed, the way her whole demeanor changed when she saw me or spoke to me. The way I stirred up that fire within her and saw it burning through her olive green orbs, just jumbled feelings inside of me and made my blood rush. I wanted to see more of the fire sparking from her, not from hate though no but from lust and passion. It was wild and quite unimaginable to think those things since I had Michelle and she had Chris but, old feelings had resurfaced.

The feeling of seeing that spark in her eyes and her plump lips spelling out each insult made our arguments so heated and the satisfaction it gave me was unexplainable. That’s why I kissed her; I felt the fight in her. Not only the fight off her wanting to stay committed to Chris, no the fight to surrender to me. When my lips had touched her, heat and electricity had surged through out my entire body and the blood in my veins was rushing and pumping, mainly down to that one place where all of that lust would be showing. It was all there, not only the attraction to her but we had the connection between each other, even after all of these years.

Maybe I had approached things a bit differently and unethically but she had started to drive me to the brink of insanity. Now I am not just meaning Ash but Michelle. She had been pushing my buttons lately and I wondered where the woman I wanted to marry had gone. The beginning of mine and Michelle’s relationship was perfect in all honesty; she was kind and cared about me. The smiles on her lips were real and not fake like it usually was today. It had been quite the shock when Michelle practically begged me to end my friendship with Ash and cut the ties with her, claiming that she was insecure and that Ashleigh only used me; that Ashleigh was in love with me. That was later confirmed by Jimmy. Michelle was good at manipulating people, there was no doubt in my mind about that but I knew the biggest reason to why I believed her.

That reason was that I had always had feelings towards Ashleigh, feelings beyond friendship. I had forced myself not to follow through with them after I convinced myself that it was just a crush, a phase that I would get over in no time. But I didn’t. Look where it got me now.

Hell, as Ash had put it; we weren’t even married yet! I had expected us to marry within the year after Michelle had told me to end it with Ash, so I did and I was still engaged to a woman who had changed from ideal to a nightmare. We had not even spoken of the wedding, done any planning. I thought women loved to get a head of things but Michelle kept quiet for three years. Then all of the sudden, a week before Ash showed up she had to set the date, six months from now and started to plan the most extravagant wedding.

It was like she wanted to get it over with as fast as possible but in grace, glamour and the most expensive shit she could find. I understood that girls always want their dream wedding, with the big puffy dress and that day was allowed to cost a lot more than usual event but it was like a shopping spree for Michelle. It was all about the most expensive brands and whining at the designers.

We had even went to some Asian wedding dress designer named Vera Wang if I remember correctly and Michelle had lashed out on that poor woman because the dress was too small. She hadn’t even been to a fitting and she was already complaining. All of the sudden everything any one did, including me was wrong and you did not even get a warning as to what you did wrong.

I was at the brink of insanity. No matter how much I loved Michelle, I couldn’t stand her outraged behavior but then again the love I had for Michelle, was nothing compared to Ashleigh. It felt weird to admit but truth was, I did love Ashleigh. I had for the past 6 years. It was hard not to love her; she was just such an amazing person. She was kind and she knew what she wanted, Ash was everything I was looking for in a woman and I was afraid that I had ruined it. So that’s why I acted to straight forward with her because I knew that I wouldn’t get any chance with her, since I had already ruined it.

Ashleigh had Chris, the ‘perfect’ man and I had driven her to New York that alone had caused me to lose her. When she returned, I realized that my chances of getting her back had minimalized completely and that they looked happy together. Happier than I could ever be with or without Michelle. Chris had my dream woman in the palm of his hand and I could see that he would fight for her, no matter what. He already proved that by blacking my eye and warning I not to pull stunts like I did again or he would actually not keep him in control and that would end up with me, limping for the rest of my life.

I didn’t care though, I know I can’t stand myself around Ashleigh and if there was one thing I was certain off was this; if Ash had loved me once, I could make her love me again.

Comments

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Holly Holly
12/7/16
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8/25/13
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8/25/13
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8/14/13
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8/13/13