Annabelle’s POV

“I’m gonna miss this place” I say, looking at my empty apartment. All the big stuff such as couches, my bed & dinner table where placed in storage until I figure out what I’m gonna do with them. I’ll probably end up selling them. I mean, get them to New York is gonna cost me so much that I might as well buy new furniture. With the help of Pauline, I found this amazing loft. I’ve always imagined myself living in a loft with big windows & tall ceilings. So maybe some new furniture is not gonna be so bad either.

“I didn’t know that wall was orange” Says London, looking at the wall of the diner area. My brother, his wife, Zacky & Gena came to help me pack the last minute things to take them to my parents’ house, since I’m gonna be crashing with them for my last 2 weeks in Huntington.

“It was meant to be red, but Jeremy bought the wrong color” I say, remembering that. “I hated that color so I decided to cover it with pictures, since I was too lazy to paint it again”

“Hey… it looked red in the can, ok?” Jeremy says defensively. We all chuckle. I take a big breath, while I eye for a last time my apartment. So many things that happened here. So many memories. How can I walk away from this? From all this? I feel a pair of arms wrapped around me & a head resting on top of mine. “It’s ok, Anna” My brother says & I smile. “We’re gonna miss you too” I let out a small chuckle while a tear escapes my eye. “It’s your time now” He whispers & kisses my cheek. “I’m so proud of you, sis”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with us for a few days? The kids would really appreciate it” London says.

“Nah. I wanna spend as much time with Mom as I can” I say.

“Yeah, she hasn’t been dealing very well with this” Jeremy says. “Ok… about happier things, how about we go out to grab something to eat before going to Mom & Dad’s?” He says, letting go of me & clapping his hands.

“I’m in” Says Zacky, followed by a chorus of ‘Me, too’.

“I can’t. I have to meet Jimmy. & I plan on stopping by Papa Gates’ house” I mutter, sighing. “So I better get going” I say, grabbing my bag & fixing my hooded top. It's kinda chilly today, so I decided to wear something warm, but not over the top hot. It's not freezing either.

“Don’t forget about the fitting tomorrow” Gena says, kissing my cheek & hugging me tight. She puts up the front that she’s happy I’m leaving, & I’m sure she is, but she’s doing a crappy job at hiding it. We stand like that for a couple of minutes.

“Honey… let her go” Zacky says, prying Gena away from me.

“Oh, right. Sorry” She says & I see her mascara has a run a bit. I smile, before kissing her cheek & walking out of the apartment. I see Alex standing there, looking sad. I walk to him & hug him, kissing him again… saying my goodbye for the millionth time to him. He has always been there for me, admitting my work, pushing me to better myself & I thank him for that. He’s like Brian to me… only the gay version of him. We didn’t exchange a word… all has been said, so I just smile at him & walk towards the stairs. I’m leaving this place & they haven’t fixed the elevator.

Brian’s POV

2 weeks. I’m getting married in 2 weeks. Wow… I can’t believe that it has been almost a year that Chelle & I got engaged. I would’ve never thought a year ago, that I was gonna get married. But here I am, with a fiancé. I sigh as I get out of the car & start walking towards the house. I wish things were as they were a year ago between Belle & I. It has been almost a week since I last saw her or talked to her & I really miss her. “Hello?” I semi-yell as I walk into the house. I close the door & start wondering through the multiple rooms.

“Hey, Bri” I turn to the sound of a girlish voice.

“Hey, Kenna” I say, hugging my little sister. “Where is everybody?” I ask, amazed by the quietness of the house.

“Oh, mom is running errands & dad is down at the studio” She says, before telling me she was gonna go find something to eat. I start heading to the door that leads to the studio, before it opens, my Dad walking out.

“Oh… hey, son” He says, walking my way. He hugs me & hug him back before locking eyes with the same chocolate orbs that have been in my mind for a few months now. “Annie & I were gonna go get some coffee. You want some?” He says, walking towards the kitchen. I see Belle lowering her gaze & biting her inner bottom lip. & I just stand there, looking at her, paralyzed. She looks hurt & tired, but you can see she’s trying to hold it all in. & it just makes me want to hug her & kiss her & tell her that everything is ok between us, that I didn’t meant what I said… but I don’t. I don’t even move an inch. I just notice her quickly glance at me, before walking past me, following my dad. “Yours black, right, Annie?” He says, pouring the black liquid into a mug. I cringe when I hear him call her Annie. He’s the only one that calls her like that.

“Um… thank you, Papa, but, um… I just remembered that I promised Jimmy & Leana I would help them finish the nursery for baby Wren” I hear her say & I can tell that she’s lying.

“Can’t you stay for 5 more minutes? I mean, Brian just got here” He says, signaling me as I walk into the kitchen. She looks down & swallows hard.

“I wish I could. But thank you &…” She starts but chokes in what I’m imagining are tears. “It’ll have to be another time” She says, kissing him. I see my dad with his brows furrow in confusion. She then heads towards me, since I’m standing at the door, before not even acknowledging me & walks out. I turn to look at her from the corner of my eyes & I see her kiss McKenna. I faintly hear Kenna ask her what’s wrong & why she’s crying but Belle doesn’t say anything else as she walks out of the house.

“What the hell was that?” My Dad asks & I turn to look at him. I just shrug.

“I don’t know” I mutter, walking to the fridge, opening it & grabbing a beer.

“You don’t know? Since when do you not know what’s wrong with her?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Since she decided for me to be the last one to know about what’s going on with her” I say bitterly & I know my Dad heard it. I didn’t try to disguise it either. I’m still very angry & hurt about what happened.

“Ok” He says, grabbing my beer. “What happened?” He asks, drinking from my beer.

“I was drinking that” I say & he shrugs, not caring at all. I open the fridge again & take out another beer. I see him looking at me expectantly for me to start talking. I sigh. “I don’t want to talk about it” I say truthfully. He just keeps looking at me, hoping to break me with his stare & silence. & he does. “We had a huge fight. We said things we shouldn’t have said & we’re not on the best terms right now” I say, sipping from my beer. He nods & sits on one of the chairs of the small kitchen table.

“Why did you fought about?” He asks & I look down, remembering that night. “When she told you” He says & I nod. Seems like even my family knew about it before I did. “Listen, I don’t know what happened or what did you guys said to each other. I don’t want to know, it’s none of my business” He says, & I take a sit next to him. “But she’s Annie, Brian”

“Stop calling her like that” I say. It physically hurts to hear that nickname. Just to hear her name hurts me.

“It’s ok to be angry. I would if I were in your shoes” He says. “But… she’s leaving” He says & I just stare at the beer in my hands. “Do you seriously want her to leave with you not even glancing her way? Do you want her to leave with the memory of that great friend she had when she was in Huntington?” He says & I feel my breath coming out as gasps. Do I want to be a friend she ‘had’? “She’s hurting. It’s killing her knowing that she doesn’t count with you”

“Did she say that?” I ask, realizing that the reason I’m having such a hard time breathing is because I’m about to start crying. But I don’t fucking cry. I’m Synyster fucking Gates. I can’t cry.

“She didn’t have to. She’s not a good liar” He says & I let out a small chuckle. She is a terrible liar. “You’re making it harder on her” He says & I just snap at that.

“Harder on her? ON HER? What about me? Has anyone stopped to think about how I’m feeling?” I say, running my hands through my face in an attempt to hide my tears.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, not fazed a bit about my outburst. He’s used to it. He’s my father, after all.

“I want to kill her” I say & I continue. “I want her to feel what I feel. I want her to realize that she’s fucking killing me” I say, swallowing hard to keep my tears from coming. “I want to hurt her the way she’s hurting me”

“Really, Brian? That’s what you want?” He asks & I let out a big breath. I shake my head no. “Then what is it that you want?” He asks.

“I don’t want her to start a new fucking life in which I’m not part of it. I can’t stand the idea that she’s leaving me behind. I mean, I want to be happy for her. I really do. I know she need to do this, but I can’t” I say, choking on my tears. My Dad places his hand on my shoulder, giving me a comforting pat & squeeze. “I know I’m being selfish but I just can’t look at her & know that she’s fucking leaving in 2 weeks. I can’t”

“Why not?” He asks. “Brian, you need to understand that she’s not the same Annie that used to blackmail you & made you played fucking tea hour or whatever” He says & I smile at the memory.

Jeremy & I were caught smoking at the age of 11 by the sweet 5 year old Annabelle. At least I thought she was sweet. She said that she would tell our moms, not our dads, our moms, which meant big shit for us, if we didn’t play with her. We accepted it, but never thought she was gonna made us sit & pretend to drink tea with all her fucking dolls around us for 2 hours. I still remember her with that yellow flowered dress & her pigtails. It didn’t happen once though. She always found a way to make us play with her & I think that’s when I started to see her as something more than the obnoxious baby sister of one of my best friends.

“I know it hurts, Brian. You’re not used to see her leave… that’s her role” He says & I look at him. “Did you think it was easy for her the first time you guys went on tour?” I look down, ashamed. I feel ashamed because it never crossed my mind that I’ve been leaving her behind my whole life & never once had she said shit about it. But my pride will never let me go to her & apologize. She lied to me! She kept it all from me! She maybe had a good reason, but I can’t see it. “Here” He says, handing me a big book. “She came to leave this. She said she wanted you to have it” I stare at him & flip the cover open to see drawings she has done over the years about the band. “She used to do that when she was bored & you were on tour. She’s you’re biggest fan” I sniff, trying to keep my tears in but I can’t. She wanted me to have her drawing book. She never let me see it. I can see why. “I suggest you talk to her & take the most out of these 2 weeks. Enjoy her. Enjoy your time with her” He says & I shake my head no.

“No” I say, pushing the book.

“What? Brian-” He starts, but I cut him.

“NO” I say, getting up. “If she wants to leave… I’m gonna let her leave. In the end… it’s gonna be better for her to leave with no strings attached. That’s what she wants, right?” I say, walking out of the kitchen & heading to the door. When I reach my car, is when I let myself break down. I don’t think I’ve never cried so hard in my life. But Annabelle is worth it. She’s… I… I refuse to be her stepping stone. & now I need to focus on the new life that I’m about to start with Michelle. If Annabelle can have a ‘new life/start’, I don’t care. I’m having mine as well. I just… don’t care anymore.

Then why are you locked in your car crying over her? The small voice in the back of my minds says. & I ignore it… like I always do. Like I’ve been doing since I got engaged, because I’m tired of it constantly remind me that I’m making a big mistake by marrying Michelle.

You know you are. She’s not the one you want to marry. She’s not the one you love I hear it say again & I turn the music fucking loud to shut the fucking voice. I start the car & start the drive to the house I share with my soon-to-be wife.

Notes

Ok... everyone calm down. I won't stop. I've been threaten to death if I stop, so I won't take any chances. Lol! I just thought nobody was reading this. I wasn't getting my notifications. But rest asure everyone, that I won't stop.

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