"Okay, baby, let's go get some groceries, yeah?"

The small three year old grins and nods at me, her curly brown hair bouncing while a bright red lollipop is held captive in her mouth. Her face is still a bit pink from crying, but after she was handed the candy and given the chance to choose the purple bandaid no on her arm so to cover the spot where she had been given a shot, she found that going to the doctor's office wasn't so bad, after all.

I picked her up from the car seat, matching the smile, and closed the car door with my hip. The busy day of Miami, Florida, drove by us without a care. I walked, carrying her against my side, into the large supermarket. My pay check had been put int my banking account last night, and we were in dire need of stocking up the kitchen with enough to get us through the next two weeks. The last three days all we had been able to eat was dry cereal and water from the sink tap.

But I was a single mom with a three year old working two jobs. That's all we could afford during the bad weeks.

The inside of the supermarket was bustling with stay-at-home moms that had nothing better to do than clip coupons and get their nails done. The last time I had a manicure was four years ago, right before I found out I was pregnant with the bundle of joy held tight against my side.

All morning, my daughter and I had been running around Miami Beach, doing a quick run of errands. I was off for the day at one of my jobs, but the other I had the night shift and would be forced to leave my baby girl in the care of the neighbor across the hall, Mrs. Quinn. It would be another night that I wouldn't be able to tuck my baby girl into bed.

"Is that candy good?" I ask my little toddler as I put her in the child basket in the shopping cart. She grins and nods happily, continuing to keep the candy in her mouth. I smile at her response and begin to push the cart through the aisles of the market. She laughs and hums at all the different colored boxes and goods.

"Mommy! Mommy!" she says excitedly, her candy in one hand and the other tugging on the front of my shirt.

"Yes, baby girl?" I reply, not paying much attention to what she's making a fuss about.

"Look! Look!"

I grab a can from the shelf and toss it into the cart before looking at whatever she's pointing to. There's a large display of chocolate-covered strawberries. It's a delicacy and one of our favorite foods. I smile and nod before going over to the table.

"How many should we get, sweetie?" I ask her, looking for the box with the most strawberries.

"Ten!" she yells, giggling and bouncing in her seat.

"Ten?" I ask playfully. "How about two?" I grab for the two boxes that I have picked out and put them in the cart. I begin to push the cart along to the next aisle.

"Mommy!" she whines, noticing that I grabbed less boxes than she asked for. "T`at's not ten!"

Her slight toddler lisp on the letter 'h' makes me smile and I ruffle her bouncy curls lightly.

"I know, baby girl, but mommy doesn't have enough money to buy ten boxes. Two is just enough for the both of us."

She pouts and whines more, kicking her feet back and forth, hitting my thighs with her feet. "But mommy!" Her face scrunches up and starts to grow red while fat crocodile tears well up in her deep brown eyes. I know she's going to start throwing a tantrum.

"Brianna Elle Haner, don't you start that. I can put both of them back and we won't have any."

She knows I don't give empty threats, as I have done it before. Still pouting, but not making a tantrum like she was about to, Brianna crosses her small arms and glares at me. I ignore the attitude, knowing that she is only fussing because she hasn't had a nap today. All morning and now, in the middle of the afternoon, I've been busy running errands around Miami Beach and had to bring her along.

Once the cart was almost filled to the top with what food we would be living off of for the next two weeks or so, I made my way down to the produce section, groaning at the sight of all the bodies that were crowded around the varies parts as I searched for bananas. I pushed the cart as close to the table as I could, but found it still a bit far away.

"I'm going right over there, okay, sweetie? Don't talk to strangers and if anyone grabs you, you scream your little heart out, okay? I won't be more than ten seconds."

Brianna nods her head, her curls bouncing. I take a quick look around before pushing my way past all the other women and to the table of bananas. I grab the first bushel I can get to, not daring to stay away from Brianna any longer than I have to. I push through the women again, grunting when my foot gets stepped on. Once free of the crowd, I push my natural brown hair from my eyes and head to the shopping cart.

"Oh my gosh, Matt, look! Isn't she the cutest little thing in the world?"

"Yeah, she's adorable. Where's her mom?"

The bananas fall from my hands, hitting the ground with a muffledplop. Brianna stares up at the two figures standing in front of her before seeing me over their shoulder. Her eyes well up with tears, just as I told her to do when she gets scared in a place like the supermarket, and lets out a loud wail. It pulls me from my fear-fueled thoughts, and I rush over to calm her down.

"Mommy!" she screams as I scoop her up in my arms and bounce her gently in my arms.

"Shhh, shh, baby girl, it's okay, I'm here. Shh, no need to cry, Brianna, no need to cry."

After a few moments I finally have her calmed down and half dozed on my shoulder. I turn to the two, and finally realize why I had been frozen in the first place.

The woman, a from-the-box-blonde stares at me with wide eyes fearful that I'll go into mama-bear mode on her. But the man standing beside her that makes my glare come.

"Becca?" he asks with wide eyes, the hazel bright in the florescent lighting. The woman at his side furrows her brows for a second before they disappear up into her hairline.

"Oh my god, Becca! Is that you?"

I turn on my heel, and sit Brianna on the handlebar of the cart before pushing it to the check out lines. There was a reason why I ran to Miami - it was as far from the West Coast I could get without going to New York. I hate snow.

Matt and Val follow behind me, firing off questions immediately, but the last two made my stop in the middle of the store;

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"Is that your kid? Oh my god, she's Brian's isn't she!"

They pause behind me, and a few of the other customers in the store have their eyes on us. Brianna has her head buried against the side of my neck, making me fear to turn around and finally acknowledge the couple. I whisper softly to Brianna when she starts to whimper again, and she falls into another doze. Slowly, I turn to the two behind me, keeping my face blank.

"She is Brian's daughter, but as far as he knows, she doesn't exist and it's going to stay that way, you hear me?" I say sternly, and the look on their face is of surprise. "I came to Miami for a reason, and it was so I could never be found by that monster ever again. The only thing you all have contributed to my life is making me go through pure Hell and I won't be going back to it. Goodbye, Shadows, Valary."

I turn back around and push the cart toward the first free conveyor. They don't follow me, and I'm thankful. I don't think I could live knowing that I was going back to the Manor, back to the man that broke me more times than he built me back up.

I don't think I could handle it, and I'm too young to die.


"No, mommy, don't go!" Brianna cries, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. I hold her against my chest and sigh.

"C'mon, baby, mommy has to go to work. You'll be fine with Mrs. Quinn."

"No! No!" Her tears soak through the front of my uniform. Stroking her hair, I glace up at the clock and groan when I realize I'm going to be late. Brianna continues to hold onto me.

"Bri, please baby, don't be like this. Mommy has to go to work and if she's late again she'll get in lots of trouble. Do you want mommy to be in trouble?" She shakes her head but doesn't let go. "Well then mommy has to go, sweetie."

After a bit more coaxing the toddler, I was able to release myself from her hold and put her in her little bed. She continued to whimper, but after a few kisses and tickles and promises of fun the next day, I quickly left the apartment and my daughter in the care of our neighbor, Mrs. Kelly Quinn. The ride to the large, posh hotel I was to be waitressing at took much longer than I would have liked. I was late, but only by a few minutes.

I arrived just as everyone was gathering around the kitchen manager as he spout out jobs. A familiar face stuck out to me in the crowd.

"Hey, Becks. Ready for another fun night?" she asks with sarcasm, making me smile. I had met her through my first waitressing job and we became quite good friends over the course of the three years I had been taking the jobs.

"Oh, you bet, Trace! I can't wait to walk around in this heels until two in the morning."

"Trace, kitchen!" the manager shouts, interrupting her reply. I'm hoping I get the same job.

"Rebecca, first shift on the floor!"

I'm not happy with being away from my friend, and on the first shift of the floor, but I know there is the possibility of tips and the more money, the better. As soon as we're dismissed, I go over to the counter and pick up the first tray of champagne flutes. Trace gives me a smile from behind the rack of aprons. We give each other a two finger salute, a tradition we had come to do before each job. I walked out of the kitchen and to the front of the hotel ball room. Slowly, the crowd was trickling in.

Moving slowly through the every growing, mingling crowd, I keep my pace slow to allow flutes to be taken off my tray. The champagne is taken one by one while I listen to the bits of conversations that I hear.

"... from California..."

"... own half of the States..."

"... government won't go near them..."

"... Gontier has signed over it all to..."

"... he's getting married! Such a waste of a man going to such a..."

"Senor Vengeance! Such a pleasure to see you again!"

I freeze mid-step, my breath catching at the familiar piercing green eyes that are staring at me. Beside him, dressed in finely-creased tuxedos, are Matt and Johnny. The girls stand behind them, wearing tight choker-necklaces that grace their love-bitten necks; they were taken and it was evident to everyone.

He's staring back at me, dark eye brows almost meeting in the middle of his forehead as he tries to place where he knows my face from. I turn, quickly, and bump into a guest. The tray of champagne flutes go falling to the ground, shattering as they hit the wood floor. Two other waitresses are coming up beside me, carrying towels to soak up the drinks. Eyes stare down at me, my face read with embarrassment.

"Rebecca Lawrence!" the kitchen manager roars, making me wince at the volume of his voice. I look up to see him walking over to me, but I'm suddenly pulled up by my shoulders and spun around. I gasp at the sight of Brian.

"Becca?" he asks in surprise, wide brown eyes staring at me. "Becca, is that you?"

I should have known there would be a reason why Matt was in Miami, and I should have known they would all be at this party.

The kitchen manager stops behind us, looking nervous at the sight of the gangster.

"I apologize greatly for her insolence, sir! She will not be working with our company ever again. Please, if there is anything I can get you-"

"How about you shut the fuck up and go kiss someone else's ass?" Brian snaps at him, making the enter room go silent. I'm frozen still, Brian's warm hands still on my shoulders, as I stare up at him. The manager sputters in surprise, not sure how to exactly reply to the comment. Brian looks down from him, his glare disappearing when he sees me back in his line of vision. His hands leave my shoulders before one of them grabs my hand and pulls me from the ballroom. I follow without a fight, still not believing that I have been found yet again.

I'm pulled through the kitchens, catching Trace's eye as she looks up from the plate of pastries she is decorating and her blue eyes widen in surprise. Our connection breaks just as she sets the icing spreader down and goes to chase after me. Brian pulls me through the back door, out to the employee parking lot of the hotel. The summer evening has barely cooled off from the heat of the day, but my body feels cold.

It's suddenly warmed as Brian pulls me into a deep embrace. My arms stay down at my sides, too afraid to dare a move.

I'm not sure how long he kept me in his arms before he slowly pulled away and looked me deep in the eye. There were those dark brown eyes that still haunted me at times... There were those thin, smooth lips that I could still feel on my skin... There was the man that I was chained to by the small invisible string wrapped around my heart.

I was out of my cage, but still on a leash.

"Jimmy's dead."

There's no easy way to say it other than I was broken by the news. How long had it been since he passed? But to be truthful, I didn't want to know.

"Syn?"

I turn to look over my shoulder, my eyes falling on the young girl standing in the doorway that lead back into the kitchens. The deep purple of the velvet choker she wears stands out from her pale skin. My throat tightens as if I've been choked. However, it's the large engagement ring on her finger that truly breaks me.

No matter how hard I've tried to move on, even with the reminder of him living in my home every minute of every day, it's easy to tell he has. He's moved on, and I'm still stuck in the dark past.

In the back of my fickle mind, I feel the familiar burn of tears and reopening wounds of the scars on my back.

Notes

oh my ...