“Where the fuck are you going so fast Kales Mae? And why do you reek like coffee?” Jimmy asked as you blew past him at top speeds.

“Espresso machine exploded in the green room, dousing Johnny, Syn and I. And I’m off to find some fuel accelerant. Don’t you have a stage to be on?” you asked a little more snappy then you would of liked, but you were in a rush as you didn’t want your clothes to stain. Or your body to permanently stink of old half brewed espresso.

“Uh what do you need fire accelerant fo. . . Oh never mind, I remember. And uh, how exactly did an espresso machine come to explode?” Jimmy asked, still standing still instead of moving to the group meeting before the show started.

“Syn thought he was Mr. Fix-It apparently, or someone else did, and he was given the task of putting the new one together. Following very simple instructions. Which, well you can see how well that turned out,” you answered, opening your arms to show off your drenched apparel.

“Baahahaha!! Leave it to Syn. He can play the guitar better then some of the legends but can’t follow a simply one, two, three,” Jimmy laughed, a grin taking his long features.

“That my dearest best friend is the ever loving truth. Now I am in serious need of a slop sink to soak my clothes and you are needed I am pretty sure, if that running techie is proof of anything, back stage for group. The shows about to start on your end,” you supplied, gesturing with a soaked hand in the direction of the frazzled looking techie who was in fact sprinting towards the two of you as he frantically spoke into his head set.

“Your public and adoring fans await,” you mused with a partial grin as the techie spastically motioned at Jimmy to get inside.

“The world can wait Kales, spending time with you is all that matters,” Jimmy offered softly after flipping off the techie. Which luckily since it was one of your own didn’t ruffle him much, in fact he flipped Jimmy back off before turning to leave. Muttering in his head set the entire time.

“We have the rest of forever to spend together Jimmy. These kids only have tonight for god knows how long till you come back here again. Besides, I gave two young girls VIP status for the night just to see you. Don’t waste my gift of privilege,” you bantered back, shooing him towards the venue.

“Only if you insist. Till the rest of forever begins then Miss Sanders,” Jimmy said with an impish grin as he pulled off a very regal looking bow towards you, almost sweeping the gravel in front of him with it.

You almost kicked gravel at him but you just couldn’t seem to find it in you to do it, even if he had used your last name. Which was almost as bad as using your full name, but only almost.

“Go before I decided it might be a good idea to kick you,” you teased at Jimmy.

“Well then. Love you Kales Mae!” Jimmy shouted over his shoulder as he sprinted off towards the venue, his long legs eating up ground faster then should be humanly possible.

“Till our hearts stop beating Jimmy, till our hearts stop beating. And probably even then,” you whispered in reply to the retreating form of your best friend.

You watched Jimmy until the venue swallowed him whole before turning to continue on to the buses to change.
-xXx-
“You are sure it’s okay?” you asked as you continued to hold onto the bag containing your gross coffee clothes.

You had made it back to the bus without any more run ins after Jimmy had left, which was a blessing because your clothes were starting to dry on you. Once on the bus you had hopped around as you stripped started stripping them off as soon as you had gotten inside. You had thrown them into a booth in the kitchen once you were completely naked, knowing you were safe in the bus since you had locked it. Randomly you had grabbed clothes for comfort more than anything else. So you weren’t surprised at how you looked when you finally got around to slipping them on, taking a few minutes to wipe your body down with a washcloth before donned them. Kelly green Aeropostale sweats, a magenta tank top, a yellow button up cotton shirt and a random hoodie. After you were clothed you had thrown the wet clothes in a plastic bag, grabbed a bottle of vodka and a pack of matches before heading towards the mess area.

You had found one of the workers and had asked if you could borrow one of their slop sinks in the kitchen to soak your clothes in so that they wouldn’t stain. And you were now trying to really make sure that it was okay to just give it to them to do. The lady you had found had been insisting that she could do it herself for you, that you could just leave it and not worry about it. And that it would be returned to the bus by a crew member when it was done drying. It felt weird, this offer of assistance.

“You’re really sure?” you asked again, eyebrows raised as the woman in front of you put her hands on her hips and give you the most incredulous look you had ever received. It was like being dressed down by a grandmother without words. Shuddering you finally gave in and handed her the bag.

“Thank you so much. I really am sorry to give you these,” you added sheepishly as she took the bag from you with two fingers and the crinkling of her nose at the smell. Hey it was only coffee!!

“I’ll get them returned to your bus when they’re done,” she reminded you once again before turning to leave.

“Oh wait!” you called out, wanting to ask one last thing before she left and you were forced to find someone else. It worked as the woman disdainfully holding the bag of your sopping mess of an outfit turned and looked back at you over her shoulder.

“Do you by chance know where I can get something to build and start a fire in one of the trashcans with? Girls night,” you lied through your teeth as you held up the bottle of vodka with a cheeky smile.

“Ask Randy outside for shims for starting the fire, he should also have a pallet or two you can break down to burn if you don’t mind breaking it yourself. Need fuel or matches too?” the woman asked looking at what you had in hand.

“I’ve got matches but will need some sort of fuel to help start it,” you replied sheepishly.

“Randy should have that too,” the woman supplied, her answer sounding very much like the dismissal it was meant to be. And while you had never had a strict school ma’am in school, you knew a dismissal when you heard one.

“Thank you!” you shouted at her retreating form as you went to find this illustrious Randy who had what you needed.
-xXx-
“One more for the tally I guess,” you sighed flatly as you threw another broken piece of pallet into the trash can fire you had steadily burning in front of you.

You had found Randy outside and he had indeed had everything you had needed for building the trash can fire. He had also given you a strict talking to and instructional talk about how to be responsible with a trash can fire, even more so when you had turned down help with it. You didn’t think he liked the idea of you doing it all by yourself while the show was going on and in full swing. You had to reassure him multiple times that you could handle it on your own before he had handed over the fuel you needed. But hand it over he had and you had taken everything, including the two pallets he had carried for you, to the farthest trash can you could find void of any random trash. You were smart enough to not start a can fire with existing trash in it that you didn’t know about or put in yourself. Who wanted to breath in burning plastic stench and smoke anyways?

You hadn’t gotten around to throwing in the clothes from the other night yet, you had wanted the fire good and going before you tossed them in. Burning clothes probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas, but it was the only thing you could think of to rid yourself of that night. You couldn’t erase your perfect recollection of it but you could do just about everything else. Including finding the next dentist to bleach your teeth for you on short notice.

Once the fire had started going you had taken the bottle of fuel a safe distance away, back where grass started, and left it out of harms way. You had then proceeded to drag the picnic bench sitting there on its lonesome with you to the fire. It was where you were currently sitting and sipping off your bottle of vodka, aimlessly staring into the fire as you tossed in small pieces of pallet when the urge struck.

“No one will ever love you Zackary Baker,” you whispered at the fire taking another aimless swig from the bottle beside you. You felt like a zombie, like you were on autopilot.

“I hate you. I hate you, I hate you,” you whispered repeatedly as you stared into the flames, cigarette in the fingers of your left hand long since forgotten and burned down to the filter.

“I hate you.”

“Kales?”

Your head popped up at the sound and whatever state you had been in seemed to temporarily disappear. Though you could feel it on the edges of your psyche, pushing. Waiting for it’s moment to come back in and swallow you whole.

“Katie? What are you doing here?” you asked as you squinted at your blue haired friend across the fire, your eyes not focusing to well and not entirely the alcohol’s fault either.

“I brought s’more stuff,” Katie added in a cheerful tone as she held up what she was holding in her hands, a box of graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows. Her other hand held long sticks.

“How did you know I?” you started to ask but couldn’t find it in yourself to finish.

“I tried telling you earlier that I had heard about what happened the other night. And when I didn’t find you at the booth with Cherise, I figured I’d go looking for you. The s’mores were just an after thought,” Katie supplied with a shrug, not coming any closer to you or the fire. As if she was waiting for the right words first, as if waiting to see if you were going to turn her away.

“How did you hear?” you asked, taking another swig from the bottle.

“Your brother told me,” Katie replied, straight forward and nonchalantly.

“I bet he was pissed,” you answered with half a bitter laugh, looking at the bottle and wondering if another swig was in order or not.

“Actually he was worried. I told him once that if he wanted to rant about you he could find another ear to do it to because I wasn’t going to hear a single word of it. Ever,” Katie answered honestly, with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

You just sat there and stared at her through the fire, across a whole span of five feet or so. But for a moment, just for a moment, it felt like a vast ocean of distance separating you from her. And from everyone and everything else. You sniffed violently for a moment, resisting the urge to wipe your nose on the sleeve of your hoodie.

“Do you have any words of advice? To make all of this better?” you asked quietly, so quietly in fact that you weren’t sure if she had heard them over the roar of the fire. Apparently she did because she took that as her cue to come over to the picnic bench. Dropping the s’more making items on the table behind her Katie situated herself next to you on the bench.

“But aren’t you always the one with the advice? The one who always makes things better around here?” Katie asked softly, her upper body turned to face you on the bench as you stared out at the dancing flames.

That was all it took for you to break down. You weren’t sure what was breaking down inside of you. Maybe it was the stress of tour, maybe it was Jeph, maybe it was Zacky and the other night. Whatever it was it broke down inside of you and you couldn’t hold back the tears any more, and so started to sob. Maybe you were cracking, either mentally or something else entirely. But whatever it was it felt like you were a million pieces inside and you didn’t want to be the one who gave advice anymore, you wanted the advice. You wanted someone else to have the answers, to make it all better. Because apparently you were doing a bang up job of it.

“Shh, shh,” Katie whispered as she wrapped an arm around your back and pulled you into her shoulder. And you let her, there was nothing left in you to resist the pull. You couldn’t have fought back if you had truly wanted to.

You just sat there and cried into her shoulder for what seemed like forever. You didn’t know if the tears were cleansing or helpful since you didn’t know what they were over. But you let them work their course through your system.

“Want me to get Bert or somebody? He’s off stage by now if you want,” Katie offered as you started to sit up straight again.

“Nah, I’ll be good. Thank you though,” you answered with a strong sniffle, this time wiping your nose on your sleeve. You looked over at Katie to give her a smile but she gave you a look instead.

“Really. I’m good,” you supplied, giving her your best smile as you tucked your hair behind your ears before exhaling everything you were still holding inside.

“So. S’mores?” you asked hopefully, eyeing the ingredients sitting behind the two of you on the picnic bench.

“And a truly ugly flask filled with Knob Creek, supplied by your brother no less. For being such a rock star he needs better taste in flasks,” Katie said with a shake of her head as she pulled out a truly horribly ugly flask from behind her.

“Where did you pull that from?” you laughed as took it from her to stare at its hideousness up close.

“From under my shirt where it was sitting snug in the top of my pants against my back,” Katie answered with a giant shit eating grin.

“You really have been hanging out with my brother way too long,” you laughed as you handed the flask back to her. You still had a bottle of vodka to finish first, though to how much of its contents were left you couldn’t be sure.

“Possibly. But I have way better taste in flasks. I mean come on! Uuugly!” Katie dragged out as she held the flask up for further inspection and then shuddered.

“Here, here,” you cheered as you raised your bottle of vodka in salute before taking a swig and passing the bottle to her.

“So, don’t we have some clothes to burn? I’d rather not have the flavor of Zacky ruin my s’mores,” Katie asked with a smile after she had taken her own swig of the clear liquor.

“We should get you a cape or something!” you laughed as you bent to grab the bag of clothing you had worn the other night. When you straightened up you were met by a confused look from Katie.

“For swooping in and saving the day,” you clarified as you untied the plastic grocery bag containing the tainted items.

“True, but it would get in the way of wires and cords up in the sound booth. I’d settle for a theme song though,” Katie answered with a half assed attempt at wiggling her eyebrows, very much like your brother.

“How about, Nana na na nanana na na na KATIE!” you supplied, superimposing Katie’s name into the Batman theme music with a laugh.

“I think that will do nicely!” Katie applauded cheerfully.

“Now, let’s play pyro,” Katie added after her applause as she held out her hand for some clothes. You grinned and handed over a random article before grabbing your own item doomed for the fire pit.

Notes

That part in the beginning between Kales and Jimmy always makes me a little teary eyed.
"We have the rest of forever to spend together. . ."
"Till our hearts stop beating Jimmy, till our hearts stop beating. And probably even then."
*sobs*