Animosity In The Ranks
Chapter 77
“Kailey Mae what are you doing?” a confused voice asked from a bunk above you across the hallway from the one you were currently standing in front of, shoving things into a small duffel bag.
“I’m packing my shit Bert,” you said with a sniff, trying to keep your voice neutral.
“But why?” you heard Bert ask from behind you after he landed with a thud and clatter from his top bunk.
“Just because Bert, just because,” you replied, whispering the repeat at the end.
“Did Jeph do something? Did you guys fight? I thought things were going so well,” Bert asked softly as he tucked some of your wet black hair and wisps of green bangs off your face and tucked them behind your ear.
You paused in your frantic packing to lean into his hand. It was warm, it was soft, it was callused and best of all it was Bert. You sighed as a tear escaped one eye and trailed down your face to collect in Bert’s now still hand on your cheek. It’s not like you and Jeph had really fought, there hadn’t been much screaming, or yelling and name calling. It was, it was just her. It had hurt to see the two of them together so gayly, laughing like they could take on the world and watching him place the flower behind her ear had almost been like a kick to the gut. And to top off the shit storm you had been caught in Zacky’s arms, you had been caught laughing with Zacky, you had been seen smiling and having a good time with him. And for some reason you couldn’t figure out which was worse.
“Oh Bert what am I going to do?” you whispered into his palm.
At your whispered question Bert took his hand off your face and placed it on your far shoulder, using it to pull you around to face him. You didn’t resist when he pulled you to his small frame and held you in comfort. He smelled of unwashed musician, cigarette smoke, roast beef sub and beer. And for some reason it was comforting, it was Bert through and through and at the moment that was all you needed.
“So you’re leaving our bus, not for good hopefully. And I’m guessing you want to avoid some certain people from your group as well right?” Bert inquired after a few moments of silently holding you and stroking your slowly drying hair.
All you did was nod your head in response against his probably slightly crinkled and wrinkled shirt.
“Well then in that case I’d say take over the quiet bus, talk with one or some of the guys and get whomever you’re trying to avoid like the dirty plague stuck on the party bus,” Bert rattled off, still stroking your hair.
“That’s a very subtle and polite way of talking about avoiding Jeph and Zacky,” you said into Bert’s old t-shirt.
“I am a genius you know,” Bert said with a soft smirk that you caught as you lifted your head to give him a quizzical look.
“Oh there’s no denying it. Now sit down with me and tell me what happened,” Bert said as he shoved you towards the kitchen and then quite literally into one of the kitchen booths.
You stared at the table, out the window and then down the hallway to where your abandoned half packed duffel bag sat before sighing. Bert wasn’t going to let this go, but he’d be courteous enough to not pull and pry passed what you were comfortable with. Or at least what he figured was a good place to stop pulling and prying at.
“I thought things were momentarily civil with you and Zacky after the green goo incident. I mean I heard the two of you laughing. And I saw the handy work you two did to my bus, thanks by the way, you’ll get pay back for that one believe me you. That amount of goo spread-age had to be the work of two people, so you guys had to have worked side by side. What happened?” Bert asked as he sat down across from you, slapping an old 70’s looking green plastic ashtray between the two of you on the table.
You grimaced at his recap, as if the thought was painful, as you took his offered smoke since you had finished your last pack this morning when hanging with Katie. Before this whole fiasco had started. Before the typical fight, before Zacky had curdled your stomach, before the green goo, before the cold shower and Zacky’s wet Willie, before seeing Jeph with the new girl and her flower, before the fight.
“Zacky and I momentarily forgot our feud due to the green goo it’s true, but don’t take it as something miracle based. Right before it I had kneed him in the balls and kidney punched him. So things are still the same. Nothing in this world will ever make me forget that I hate that fucking low life scum bag. Not a god damn thing,” you spat, eyes tearing for no reason.
Nothing would ever make you forget that you hated him, but nothing would let you fully remember why you hated him either.
“What about you and Jeph?” Bert asked as he exhaled in the general direction of the cracked kitchen window.
You took a deep drag and inhaled as you mulled things over in your head, playing back the scene and trying to figure out was wrong.
“I don’t know Bert, I just don’t. We fought a little I guess, we yelled at each other a little I guess,” you exhaled with smoke.
“But that’s nothing new, couples always fight. We were all happy the first time you guys did, because it meant you two weren’t too perfect to be true. So it’s got to be something more than that Kailey Mae,” Bert playfully glared at you, ashing his cigarette into the awful ash tray.
You smiled slightly at his fearless self assuredness when calling you by your full name and not your nickname. Leave it to Bert to laugh in the face of death while handing it a cigarette and lighter. You blew smoke out your nose as you peered down at the cigarette in between your fingers, twirling it as you stared at it intently. As if the secrets to the world, besides 42, were hidden in its paper.
“I heard him laughing long before I saw him. And the worst part was there was a females laugh mixed with his. And together the two of them were laughing like they owned the world and could take on the universe. They came into view and I watched him put a flower behind her ear gently,” you flatly reiterated, still staring at the slowly twirling cigarette between your fingers.
You didn’t even lift your eyes when you heard Bert hiss inwardly.
“And the topper on the cake, the piece that really takes the prize is that when he stopped and saw me I was standing in Zacky’s arms,” you pushed out as if the sentence caused you physical pain.
You didn’t move when Bert coughed violently and hit himself in the chest repeatedly.
“Wow,” was all Bert replied with at first.
You brought your cigarette up to your lips and inhaled deeply, trying to get your brain wrapped around things.
“Well I honestly don’t see what you did wrong. I think it was more of a shock to actually see the two of you together without blades drawn to your throats than anything else really. Jeph I can proudly say is smart enough to know that nothing could happen between you and Zacky like that. Not without an act of Congress, and even then we’d be workin with a hope and a prayer. What I do want to understand is Jeph and this new girl. That is not cool in my book. Even if it was friendly, well it was a little too friendly for me for someone you’ve just met,” Bert ranted, stressing his already few stressed words with poignant eyebrow lifts and cigarette pointing.
You smiled at your crazy friend, ashing in the ridiculous ash tray before putting it out completely.
“Why don’t you finish packing up right quick and go let your brain unchain in your bus. I’ll text Matt or someone to let them know. Kay? Bert asked as he stood, destroying his cigarette butt as he put it out violently in the bottom of the ash tray.
Knowing something was up you turned and looked out the kitchen window in the direction he was looking and saw what made him suggest you pack and leave quickly. It was Jeph. And he seemed to be on his way towards the Used bus, talking to himself and gesturing with his hands as he walked. You whipped your head up to stare at Bert like he’d have the answers, as you really didn’t want to run into Jeph at the moment. Bert looked down at you and you saw the concern in his eyes.
“Go hurry and finish while I go out and distract him from gettin on the bus,” Bert exhaled in a cloud of smoke and reassuring words before turning and heading towards the front of the bus.
You skittered out of your booth, not even caring about how skin in places pulled and pinched due to left over drying green goo. You picked up your duffel bag one handed while the other scrambled through the bunk you used on this bus and shoved the contents inside. There would be tiny bits and pieces that you knew you’d forget, but you also knew that this wasn’t permanent permanent, that it was just for the moment. It was just long enough for you to gather yourself and for Jeph to gather himself and then for the two of you to talk. That’s all it was. Because you loved Jeph, and Jeph loved you and that’s all that mattered. You just needed space.
Things packed and duffel bag closed at the top you slung the entire thing over your shoulder and headed towards the front of the bus. Passing through the kitchen you looked out the windows frantically to see if Bert had been able to take Jeph away with his impromptu distraction. Not seeing either of them you picked up your pace towards the doors to leave. You hit the automatic door open and skidded down the bus steps as quick as your green pock marked shoes could take you. As soon as your feet hit the pavement, so to speak, you turned to head back down the outside of the bus to get to yours, not bothering to shut the doors since Bert would be back soon. Or one of the other guys.
“Kales,” a strangled voice said loudly from down a few feet in front of you.
You skidded to a halt and looked up quickly. There was Jeph with Bert desperately trying to hold him back around the back end of the tour bus. You just stared as Bert struggled but held his own, holding the large tattooed bassist back from you. It had almost worked, you had almost gotten away scot free, unnoticed. You didn’t want to talk right then, you couldn’t talk right now. Especially as when you looked on at your boyfriend trying to get around his best friend so he could talk to you all you could see was him gazing down at that girl, laughing as he stuck a flower behind her ear.
And with that you turned abruptly on your heel and walked towards the front of the bus right behind you. There was more than one way to get to your quiet bus.
“Kales!”
“I’m packing my shit Bert,” you said with a sniff, trying to keep your voice neutral.
“But why?” you heard Bert ask from behind you after he landed with a thud and clatter from his top bunk.
“Just because Bert, just because,” you replied, whispering the repeat at the end.
“Did Jeph do something? Did you guys fight? I thought things were going so well,” Bert asked softly as he tucked some of your wet black hair and wisps of green bangs off your face and tucked them behind your ear.
You paused in your frantic packing to lean into his hand. It was warm, it was soft, it was callused and best of all it was Bert. You sighed as a tear escaped one eye and trailed down your face to collect in Bert’s now still hand on your cheek. It’s not like you and Jeph had really fought, there hadn’t been much screaming, or yelling and name calling. It was, it was just her. It had hurt to see the two of them together so gayly, laughing like they could take on the world and watching him place the flower behind her ear had almost been like a kick to the gut. And to top off the shit storm you had been caught in Zacky’s arms, you had been caught laughing with Zacky, you had been seen smiling and having a good time with him. And for some reason you couldn’t figure out which was worse.
“Oh Bert what am I going to do?” you whispered into his palm.
At your whispered question Bert took his hand off your face and placed it on your far shoulder, using it to pull you around to face him. You didn’t resist when he pulled you to his small frame and held you in comfort. He smelled of unwashed musician, cigarette smoke, roast beef sub and beer. And for some reason it was comforting, it was Bert through and through and at the moment that was all you needed.
“So you’re leaving our bus, not for good hopefully. And I’m guessing you want to avoid some certain people from your group as well right?” Bert inquired after a few moments of silently holding you and stroking your slowly drying hair.
All you did was nod your head in response against his probably slightly crinkled and wrinkled shirt.
“Well then in that case I’d say take over the quiet bus, talk with one or some of the guys and get whomever you’re trying to avoid like the dirty plague stuck on the party bus,” Bert rattled off, still stroking your hair.
“That’s a very subtle and polite way of talking about avoiding Jeph and Zacky,” you said into Bert’s old t-shirt.
“I am a genius you know,” Bert said with a soft smirk that you caught as you lifted your head to give him a quizzical look.
“Oh there’s no denying it. Now sit down with me and tell me what happened,” Bert said as he shoved you towards the kitchen and then quite literally into one of the kitchen booths.
You stared at the table, out the window and then down the hallway to where your abandoned half packed duffel bag sat before sighing. Bert wasn’t going to let this go, but he’d be courteous enough to not pull and pry passed what you were comfortable with. Or at least what he figured was a good place to stop pulling and prying at.
“I thought things were momentarily civil with you and Zacky after the green goo incident. I mean I heard the two of you laughing. And I saw the handy work you two did to my bus, thanks by the way, you’ll get pay back for that one believe me you. That amount of goo spread-age had to be the work of two people, so you guys had to have worked side by side. What happened?” Bert asked as he sat down across from you, slapping an old 70’s looking green plastic ashtray between the two of you on the table.
You grimaced at his recap, as if the thought was painful, as you took his offered smoke since you had finished your last pack this morning when hanging with Katie. Before this whole fiasco had started. Before the typical fight, before Zacky had curdled your stomach, before the green goo, before the cold shower and Zacky’s wet Willie, before seeing Jeph with the new girl and her flower, before the fight.
“Zacky and I momentarily forgot our feud due to the green goo it’s true, but don’t take it as something miracle based. Right before it I had kneed him in the balls and kidney punched him. So things are still the same. Nothing in this world will ever make me forget that I hate that fucking low life scum bag. Not a god damn thing,” you spat, eyes tearing for no reason.
Nothing would ever make you forget that you hated him, but nothing would let you fully remember why you hated him either.
“What about you and Jeph?” Bert asked as he exhaled in the general direction of the cracked kitchen window.
You took a deep drag and inhaled as you mulled things over in your head, playing back the scene and trying to figure out was wrong.
“I don’t know Bert, I just don’t. We fought a little I guess, we yelled at each other a little I guess,” you exhaled with smoke.
“But that’s nothing new, couples always fight. We were all happy the first time you guys did, because it meant you two weren’t too perfect to be true. So it’s got to be something more than that Kailey Mae,” Bert playfully glared at you, ashing his cigarette into the awful ash tray.
You smiled slightly at his fearless self assuredness when calling you by your full name and not your nickname. Leave it to Bert to laugh in the face of death while handing it a cigarette and lighter. You blew smoke out your nose as you peered down at the cigarette in between your fingers, twirling it as you stared at it intently. As if the secrets to the world, besides 42, were hidden in its paper.
“I heard him laughing long before I saw him. And the worst part was there was a females laugh mixed with his. And together the two of them were laughing like they owned the world and could take on the universe. They came into view and I watched him put a flower behind her ear gently,” you flatly reiterated, still staring at the slowly twirling cigarette between your fingers.
You didn’t even lift your eyes when you heard Bert hiss inwardly.
“And the topper on the cake, the piece that really takes the prize is that when he stopped and saw me I was standing in Zacky’s arms,” you pushed out as if the sentence caused you physical pain.
You didn’t move when Bert coughed violently and hit himself in the chest repeatedly.
“Wow,” was all Bert replied with at first.
You brought your cigarette up to your lips and inhaled deeply, trying to get your brain wrapped around things.
“Well I honestly don’t see what you did wrong. I think it was more of a shock to actually see the two of you together without blades drawn to your throats than anything else really. Jeph I can proudly say is smart enough to know that nothing could happen between you and Zacky like that. Not without an act of Congress, and even then we’d be workin with a hope and a prayer. What I do want to understand is Jeph and this new girl. That is not cool in my book. Even if it was friendly, well it was a little too friendly for me for someone you’ve just met,” Bert ranted, stressing his already few stressed words with poignant eyebrow lifts and cigarette pointing.
You smiled at your crazy friend, ashing in the ridiculous ash tray before putting it out completely.
“Why don’t you finish packing up right quick and go let your brain unchain in your bus. I’ll text Matt or someone to let them know. Kay? Bert asked as he stood, destroying his cigarette butt as he put it out violently in the bottom of the ash tray.
Knowing something was up you turned and looked out the kitchen window in the direction he was looking and saw what made him suggest you pack and leave quickly. It was Jeph. And he seemed to be on his way towards the Used bus, talking to himself and gesturing with his hands as he walked. You whipped your head up to stare at Bert like he’d have the answers, as you really didn’t want to run into Jeph at the moment. Bert looked down at you and you saw the concern in his eyes.
“Go hurry and finish while I go out and distract him from gettin on the bus,” Bert exhaled in a cloud of smoke and reassuring words before turning and heading towards the front of the bus.
You skittered out of your booth, not even caring about how skin in places pulled and pinched due to left over drying green goo. You picked up your duffel bag one handed while the other scrambled through the bunk you used on this bus and shoved the contents inside. There would be tiny bits and pieces that you knew you’d forget, but you also knew that this wasn’t permanent permanent, that it was just for the moment. It was just long enough for you to gather yourself and for Jeph to gather himself and then for the two of you to talk. That’s all it was. Because you loved Jeph, and Jeph loved you and that’s all that mattered. You just needed space.
Things packed and duffel bag closed at the top you slung the entire thing over your shoulder and headed towards the front of the bus. Passing through the kitchen you looked out the windows frantically to see if Bert had been able to take Jeph away with his impromptu distraction. Not seeing either of them you picked up your pace towards the doors to leave. You hit the automatic door open and skidded down the bus steps as quick as your green pock marked shoes could take you. As soon as your feet hit the pavement, so to speak, you turned to head back down the outside of the bus to get to yours, not bothering to shut the doors since Bert would be back soon. Or one of the other guys.
“Kales,” a strangled voice said loudly from down a few feet in front of you.
You skidded to a halt and looked up quickly. There was Jeph with Bert desperately trying to hold him back around the back end of the tour bus. You just stared as Bert struggled but held his own, holding the large tattooed bassist back from you. It had almost worked, you had almost gotten away scot free, unnoticed. You didn’t want to talk right then, you couldn’t talk right now. Especially as when you looked on at your boyfriend trying to get around his best friend so he could talk to you all you could see was him gazing down at that girl, laughing as he stuck a flower behind her ear.
And with that you turned abruptly on your heel and walked towards the front of the bus right behind you. There was more than one way to get to your quiet bus.
“Kales!”
Out of all the fanfics this is the one I've read through 3 times through all 108 chapters. This is one of the best Zacky fics I've read and I still hope it'll be continued one day ; v; a very good read for any Zacky fan.
5/3/18