The next morning when you woke up you felt like you had been partying hard the entire night before. Your head was throbbing, your mouth and throat were parched and your lips chapped and cracked, your eyes stung and felt puffy. You could feel crusty streaks down your face from where tears had trailed. And when you tried to groan and tell Minx to get off your legs your voice came out sounding worse than shit. All in all you were a mess. And you hated it. Getting up you mentally thanked Jimmy for setting your alarm clock a littler earlier than normal as he must have guessed you would have needed and wanted more time to get ready this morning after the day you had just had. Filling the bathtub with scalding hot water and orange citrus bath salts you prepared yourself for a whole body makeover before work.

An hour later you finally emerged from the bathroom feeling at least more whole and put together than before. You were in a lazy mood, well no mood at all what so ever, so you decided to keep it low key.

“I don’t want to go to work Minx-y. But I have to,” you groaned as you opened your drawers.

You slipped on some well worn in lighter blue jeans that had been cut off right at the top of your knee, where the tight fabric hugged that your legs had frayed massively over years of washing. You tucked your pocket ends back through the wholes under them to where they were suppose to be even though they would inevitably come out later on. You slipped on your oldest pair of flip-flops, that were black and covered in skull and cross bones, before grabbing a belt. You stuck on a soft brown leather belt that had become cracked over years worth of use, and had a giant star belt buckle. Calling your lower half done you stuck on a black bra and went about for something to stick on top. You threw on a white spaghetti tank top followed by a little kids dark blue t-shirt that said Toy Soldier across it in very faded white letters. You ran a hand through your hair, stuck in some random styling product so it wouldn’t puff out on you and turn you into a walking Q-tip and called yourself done besides eyeliner. You grabbed your black eyeliner and soft pale brown leather shoulder bag and made your way downstairs.

“Hey Minx-y-poo,” you said as you pet your cat who was in fact on your kitchen divider island type thing.

You went to get yourself coffee and smiled at the little yellow sticky note stuck to it.

“Thank god you were smart enough to buy a programable coffee maker. I set it to be ready roughly by the time you came downstairs. See you later today at lunch and then afterwards. Call me if Zarin demands you not be at work for the day.

All the love in the universe,

~Jimmy”

You smiled as you stuck the note on your fridge, deciding to keep it. It had been a good idea when you had been pressured into buying the computer like machine that made your coffee everyday. It really could be programmed to brew coffee hours in advance with no one around. Like Jimmy must had done the night before. Taking the pot off it’s station you poured some of the steaming liquid in a cup and added cream and sugar since you felt no need for jet fuel coffee this morning, since that’s how you made it from time to time and how Jimmy made it every time. Stirring your coffee you grabbed a lemon poppy seed muffin from your bread drawer, squished it and found it still edible. Sitting down at your island with your breakfast you dug out the last components to what you called a well rounded, full breakfast.

“Now to find my lighter Minx,” you said to your cat as you dug around your counter for a spare lighter.

Finding one you stuck it by your purse and sipped on your coffee, letting it send it’s caffiene-y goodness down into your blood stream. After enjoying about half your cup and a third of your muffin you lit your cigarette and sat back to enjoy it, with your mug of coffee in your other hand.

“You know what Minx, it feels nice to not have to rush a morning. To be able to sit back and enjoy it and not have to run out the door like my pants are on fire. Maybe I should half a personal melt down and have Jimmy take care of me more often? And maybe I should stop talking to my cat like it’s a real fucking person and going to respond,” you said as you ashed your cigarette in the nearest ash tray.

Minx bumped up against your cigarette hand and you paused to give his head a scratch before pushing him off the counter and onto one of the other chairs.

“Love you too Minx-y-poo,” you said as he landed on the padded chair and gave you a look.

Finishing your coffee you went and poured yourself some more but in a travel mug. You shoved the last of your muffin into your mouth and decided it was a good a time as any to go to work. To a job you didn’t even know if you were going to be allowed to work for the day. Finishing your cigarette and putting it out on the ash tray right beside the front door you grabbed your dark blue with white stripe track jacket from the hook and walked out the door as you put your black sunglasses on already, anticipating the sun before you even got outside.
-xXx-
“Morning Zarin,” you said as you let yourself in the back when you got to work.

“I don’t know if I want you here today,” Zarin said as he approached you from his desk.

“Come on Zarin, I won’t freak out in work like I did yesterday. You know me better than that, I never make the same stupid mistake twice,” you said as you dropped your bag onto the couch.

“It’s not the freaking out at work that I care about. It’s your well being, your mental centering I think is a little off key,” Zarin said supportively as he came and gave you a hug.

“I just had a lot of things piling up on the inside and a straw finally broke my back. Add the shock of what I found out yesterday on top of all that and you have me freaking out. I had a melt down, sort of lost it, but being back at work will help me put myself back together,” you said as you sat in your chair and waited for Zarin’s yay or nay on you working for the day.

“Yeah I heard about Kris’s news and how you reacted. I’m sorry hun. And I hope you know I think you’re completely off your rocker for thinking you turned either him or your ex husband onto guys. And I’m pretty sure that while the gay and bi male community dreams about it every single day, I don’t see Jepha chasing the dick any time soon. And as for work we’ll have to compromise on this one. I say you work half a day, work till lunch and then take the rest of the day off,” Zarin said as he walked back towards his desk to see what the client load was for the day.

“News sure does travel fast around here,” you commented as you got out your sketches for the days first set of clients.

“It does when you’re involved and people care about you. You have a bad habit of making people care about you way too damn much,” Zarin said as he handed copies of clients drawings he had done for you previously.

“Almost everyone. So I’ll work half a day today, but tomorrow I’m back on my over drive hectic schedule. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Otherwise I’ll never make it to tour, and that’s the whole reason behind this uber madness,” you said as you took the transfer papers with their designs in ink on them.

“Deal,” Zarin said as he went to inspect the crash that came from out back, more than likely from Greg or Ryan tripping and falling over something.

“Oh thank god, you’re back and in one mental piece,” Ryan said as he came at you and gave you a hug.

“As mentally stable as I’ve ever been, which is not saying much,” you joked as you let him go and the rest of your coworkers came in for the day.

“Who ever first said that you were mentally stable was smoking some really good rock,” Lexi jabbed as she walked in with a smile on her face.

It just might be a good day after all.

Maybe a mental break down was just what you needed.

Notes

See?
Having a mental break down allows you to pull yourself back together and start a new.