It's been a long fucking day. Way too fucking long.

Those words ring through Matt's head as he fumbles around for the keys to the front door. However, he's in no hurry to get inside. After spending nearly four hours at the graveyard, one would think that it would be a great comfort to return home.

Yet as the door slowly creaks open, it is only a painful reminder to the young man that nothing has changed within a year; he is just as alone as he was the day before, and so on for twelve months back.

That is with the exception of the little white dog, Pinkly, who barks as soon as she hears the footsteps of her master.

Matt knows that she is still waiting for her other master to walk through that door with him someday. She has been patiently waiting for a year to be a family again.

"He's not coming back Pinkly," he whispers sadly, scratching her ear. You'd think after waiting for so long, the dog would have forgotten the other man by now.

He glances at the clock, not really caring about what time it is. It's six o'clock in the evening, yet to Matt, the day has been moving so slowly that it may as well still be eleven in the morning.

Mentally and physically exhausted, there isn't a single joint in his body that isn't begging him to lie down for a minute. Nor is there a single piece of mind that is at ease. Most importantly, there isn't a single portion of his heart that isn't aching with despair.

So much pain. Yet, at the same time, there is so much numbness within him as well.

Pinkly, taking the hint that Matt isn't interested in playing, scampers away to her food bowl in the kitchen, leaving the broken man to himself in the main hallway.

The stale silence is broken by the melody of Matt's cellphone. He mentally debates on whether or not to answer before reluctantly giving in.

"Hello?" Matt mumbles lifelessly.

"Hey Matt, it's me" Johnny answers cautiously on the other end.

Normally Matt's first reaction would have been to hang up as soon as he recognized Johnny's voice, but he understands that his friends have to deal with a great amount of pain as well.

Brian was their friend too.

But that doesn't stop him from expressing his annoyance.

"I know what you're about to say, and I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to be alone," he hisses in irritation.

"Matt, I understand, but me and the others want you to know that we're here for you if you need us. Me and Jim are at Zacky's place at the moment, and if you want to come over, or if you need us to come-"

"Johnny, you're wasting your time! All of you are! There is nothing that you or anyone else can do to make things a little better for me!"

"I know Matt, but I just thought you needed to hear those words. You don't deserve to go through this by yourself. Heck, nobody does."

Matt sighs in frustration. As much as he does hate the loneliness he is surrounded by, he isn't in the mood for a night of sympathy.

Not only that, but Matt also isn't in the mood to see Johnny snuggle gratefully with Jimmy, his fiancee. It just so happened that Johnny nearly lost Jimmy a year ago today... in the same car accident that Brian had gotten into...

After that comes to mind, Matt calms down. This day could have been even more miserable than it already was.

"Listen," he says in a softer tone, "I appreciate your thoughts. I genuinely do. But again, I don't want company. If you want what's best for me, hear what I'm saying."

A long silence is followed by this. Clearly, Johnny's about admit defeat.

"Just promise you won't do anything stupid," Johnny softly pleads.

"I'll be fine Johnny," he lies, about being fine at least. "Look, I have to go, Pinkly needs to go for her walk. Oh and you and Jimmy take it easy too."

"We will Matt. Take care... and just remember, if you change your mind..."

Matt doesn't bother replying. He nods and hangs up.

After putting the phone down, a tear rolls down Matt's cheek. Another tear follows, as well as several more. Eventually, he finds himself sniffling, which turns into sobbing. Leaning against the wall, he slides to the ground, burying his head in his hands.

He is as big of a wreck as he was when he heard the news about Brian's accident...

~
[i] It's a lovely Saturday afternoon, one of those lazy days where nothing is really happening. It's all good for Matt though, needing a day to relax after several months on the road touring. He smiles to himself as he wakes feeling refreshed from his first nap in bed in a long time.

As he stretches, Brian peeks his head through the doorway. "Rise and shine sleepy head," he teases obnoxiously.

Matt smiles. "Fuck off, you shit disturber," he laughs snuggling into his pillow. "I was just about to get up, but I'm all in for staying in if you wanna join me," he says, patting the other side of the bed.

Brian chuckles. "I'd love to, but me and Jimmy are doing a beer run for the party tomorrow, do you need me to pick something up while we're at it?"

"Nah, I was thinking of ordering pizza anyways. Not in the mood to go out."

"All right, I'll see you later. Maybe I'll be up for some snuggles when I get back," Brian says, throwing Matt one of his million dollar smiles as he leaves.

"See ya then!" Matt replies, feeling the fuzzy impact that the smile had left behind.

As he hears the front door shut softly, even with Brian gone, the image of his smile stays with him. He could ogle that gorgeous set of pearly whites all day if he wanted to. That or the captivating pair of chocolate orbs, which he always finds himself getting lost into.

He shakes his head, thinking about how pathetic he must seem at the moment. He'll have plenty of time to indulge himself when night comes.

~
About two hours later, Brian isn't home.

Matt wonders whether he should be worried or not. It's not like it takes that long to buy some beer, so what could be keeping him?

Rolling his eyes, Matt dials Brian's cellphone number, expecting an explanation of some sort.

After one too many rings, Matt hangs up frustrated. "Well that's just great," he mutters.

Sighing, he shrugs off the frustration, convincing himself that Brian will eventually call back.

Finally, ten minutes later, Matt feels his cellphone vibrating. He answers without bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hey, where the fuck are you? What's the hold up?"

"Matt?"

Matt's taken aback by Johnny's voice. For one thing, he is sorely disappointed that it's not Brian who's on the other line. The second thing that bothers Matt is Johnny's voice. It is unusually soft and he can swear that it's quivering.

"Johnny? Ah fuck! Sorry, I thought it was Brian for a second."

Matt then hears Johnny softly sobbing, clearly spelling out that something is horribly wrong.

"Oh shit, Johnny, what happened? Is everything ok?"

As soon as Matt asks, the sobbing becomes hysterical bawling on the other end. To say that something is horribly wrong is obviously an understatement at this point.

"It's ok Johnny, I'm here! Try to relax a little bit and tell me everything, I'm listening!"

"Matt..." Johnny chokes. "It... it's Jimmy and Brian."

Hearing those names, especially the latter, causes Matt's stomach to churn. "What happened?" he asks a little too quickly.

"There... there was an accident Matt. A truck smashed into-"

Before Johnny can even finish the sentence, Matt drops the cellphone, slowly sinking into the floor. His shaking hands cover his face as he fears the worst. There is no way that he could be hearing what he had just heard. That Brian and Jimmy had gotten into an accident. That there was a possibility that Matt would lose the man who has his heart. That their future had been shattered in a matter of seconds.

He ignores Johnny's faint voice coming from the corner of his right knee.

"Matt?... Matt? Please answer!"

He never does. The sobs that come one after the other escape his throat, preventing him from saying anymore. [/i]
~

Brian was pronounced dead before Matt and Johnny even arrived at the hospital. Matt never got the chance to say goodbye to the man of his life.

Jimmy was somewhat luckier; he ended up in critical condition and spent two weeks in a coma. After numerous surgeries and hours of physical therapy, the doctors had concluded that it was a miracle that Jimmy was walking, let alone still alive.

If anything, the accident had brought Johnny and Jimmy closer than ever. As a matter of fact, the first thing Johnny did once Jimmy stood up for the first time during a therapy session was propose to him. Jimmy had been blessed with a second chance, and the two planned on making the most of it together.

But Brian never got a second chance.

Tears well up in Matt's eyes again as that crosses his mind.

"Brian! Please come back!" he whispers tearfully, wishing with all of his heart that he could see his boyfriend once more.

To say that final goodbye Brian never got to hear.

Eventually, the tears simply stop altogether. It is physically impossible for him to cry any longer.

He sighs to himself, deciding to give his body and mind a rest. He shuffles his way into the living room in a zombie-like manner, hoping that his attempt to relax will be the one thing that goes right during this miserable day.

As soon as he settles down into his black leather arm chair comfortably, he tries to let his mind go blank. Maybe then, the pain would numb itself out, and his mind could be at ease for a little while.

He tries to avoid catching a glimpse of the love seat, slated to the left of the armchair. The matching black leather couch has been collecting dust for the past year, as Matt refuses to let anybody, including himself touch it.

The fireplace also remains untouched; Matt doesn't care to use it anymore since the only purpose it served was to keep him and Brian cozy as they snuggled together on the love seat.

Again, it has been a long day, and the minutes are most likely about to stretch even longer.

At least sitting by Brian's gravestone gave Matt something meaningful to do, now there was nothing around him to bother staying awake for.

Matt gives in to the exhaustion that has been accumulating throughout the day. His eyelids begin to droop and everything is black...
~

Matt wakes up from the nightmare that has been nagging him for the past year. However, surprisingly, he is feeling better than he did before his nap. He feels more refreshed, and the pain isn't as intense. He wonders how long he had been out for.

The soft chimes of the grandfather clock strike midnight, adding a warm touch to the gloomy air of the room. Alas, the chimes only last momentarily, returning the room to it's miserable state.

Just as Matt is about to nod off once again, a piercing yelp is heard down the hallway, snapping him back to reality. Pinkly bolts into the living room, pawing and whimpering at her master frantically. Matt sympathetically lets the pooch hop onto his lap, affectionately scratching her ears.

"What's the matter girl?"

The poor dog is curled up into a ball, whimpering and shaking.

"It's ok Pinkly, I'm here baby." Matt sooths, wondering what could have caused the dog's panic.

He gets his answer seconds later upon asking. He hears an unfamiliar clomping sound, definitely coming from inside the house. After listening carefully, Matt realizes that it's the sound of footprints.

"Oh fuck!" he mutters, nearly having a heart attack on the spot. Someone's probably trying to rob the place! No wonder Pinkly got so freaked out.

"You stay right here baby," he whispers, setting the still trembling dog on the ground. "Daddy will take care of everything" he says, this time more to himself, searching for the heaviest tool he can find. Once he finds the fireplace poker, he makes his way out of the living room, moving as silently as possible.

After making sure the coast is clear, he follows the sound of the footsteps, which are leading him back to the main hallway.

Matt doesn't worry about whether the intruder is armed or not. As long as he finds him unnoticed, he could strike him down with ease.

Finally, he is certain that the intruder is around the corner leading to the main hallway. Gripping the fireplace poker harder than he needs to, he makes sure that he has a chance of knocking him out.

As he peers around the corner, he sees the intruder's back, giving him a perfect opportunity to strike.

However, just as he tries sneaking up on him, slowly raising the poker with each step, the man standing in front of him turns around.

Adrenaline kicking in, Matt raises the poker higher, seconds close to swinging it as hard as he can.

Then their eyes meet.

All intentions of causing harm come to a screeching halt. He lowers the weapon, staring at the man in awe.

The blunt object that he had been holding onto for his dear life limply falls to the ground, making a sharp clanging sound as the iron hits the ceramic tiles.

He takes a step back, jaw suspended in midair, eyes widened in disbelief.

"Brian?"

Notes

This is the first story I posted on Mibba, so I guess it's appropriate that it's also the first story I've posted on here! ^.^
Hope you enjoy! Part 2 will be here soon! :D