Our Own Piece Of Heaven
Every Night
[Jimmy’s POV]
So, my friends think I’m a douche for ignoring Gaby, I’m not ignoring her! I just got full of things whenever she wants to see me, and well—
Well that’s a lie, and you know it
Fuck!
It’s just since that day in the hospital, I can't bring myself to see her, when Amelia told us she was good, I was the first one to step in. She was laid in bed, her head bandaged, her nose had cut, indicating it was broken, her hand and abdomen were covered by clean bandages. Her lip was busted, bruised and purple. The machine keep doing his significative ‘beep, beep, beep, beep’
She was here because of me, because I wasn’t fast enough, because she – I can’t! She died in my fucking arms! She was dead, and looking at her here, breathing slowly. I couldn’t. I just…
“Jimmy, it’s okay” Matt said entering the room “She will be okay”
“I can’t Matt, I can’t” I said and I left the room…
I couldn’t stop seeing her, but I couldn’t be where she knew I was, I couldn’t talk to her, I didn’t know what to do, or say to her.
But I was there. I was there every night, every night I stayed with her until it was 7 a.m. Amelia her doc, she let me stay there with her, every night. And I did that just well, just stay there with her, watching her sleep, talking about all the things I wish I could talk to her, but I couldn’t just talk to her like nothing ever happened. How could I!?
Everything had changed and I didn’t even had a chance to tell her that I lo—
“NO!, BAD MATT!” Gaby yelled between giggles, breaking me from my thoughts, we were now in my garage, we were going to practice a little and we were waiting for Matt “PUT ME DOWN!”
What is she doing here?
“I’M NOT!” she kept yelling “PUT ME FUCKING DOWN, NOW SANDERS!”
Oh, God… There she is.
She looks so beautiful, it makes me wanna stand up and hug her and kiss her, kiss her until we were both breathless.
“Oh, sweet Jesus!” she winced and I stood still there. Every inch on my body wanted to smash Zacky’s head against the wall
Aggressive?
Yeah.
“Shit! I’m sorry, Gaby, are you okay?” he asked, concerned and she nodded
“Way to go, dumbass!” short-shit slapped his arm
WOW, Finally short-shit does something good!
“I’m fine, seriously” she glanced where I was, and suddenly I saw Zacky running upstairs. Oh, yeah. Brian
You see, Brian as my best friend has being nagging me about me talking to Gaby, and end this shit already, he says that after a good fuck everything would be okay, and after I almost break his back, he shut up. But he hasn’t see Gaby since that party a few weeks ago.
“WHERE IS SHE!?” Brian yelled overly excited
“I’m here, Bri” she rolled her eyes and shook his head
“GABY!” he ran towards her and pulled her into a tight hug
Oh, hell no!
I stood up quickly, I was almost in my way to attack Bri, when Matt came over to say hello
“Hello, Jimbo” he said and I looked at him, sitting again on the stool
“Hey, dude” I replied, a little bitter
“Whoa, did you get up from the wrong side of the bed?” he joked
“Something like that” I said “What is she doing here?” I glanced towards her and she was deep in conversation with the boys
“Oh, well, she wanted to come, and I wasn’t just going to say ‘No, cause Jimmy’s being an asshole, doesn’t want to talk to you and—Whoa, relax!” he said, when I started glaring at him
“You’re gonna kill me with one of those looks one of this days”
“Good”
Matt left to say hello to the boys and Gaby came down where I was
Oh, shit! No!
“Hey, Jimmy” she said
Maybe if I don’t answer her, she will go
“Jimmy” she said again
Oh, no, no! Please Gaby, go!
Yeah, like that it’s going to happen. Gaby is probably the most stubborn person I know..Besides me.
“JAMES OWEN SULLIVAN!” she yelled and I snapped
See?
“What?”
“I—Are you ignoring me?” she asked, crossing her arms over chest
“No, why?”
“I just— Why haven’t you come to visit me? Or tried to talk to me?” she asked
Cause I don't know where to start to ask for your forgiveness?
“I was busy” I replied
“Busy to see your best friend?”she cocked an eyebrow
“Gaby, I was busy. Actually I’m busy right now” I shrugged
I, know, I know. Asshole, everywhere!
“Jimmy, we need to talk” she said
“There’s nothing to talk”
“You have black hair” she pointed
Oh, yeah. I dye my hair black, in a rage. I had to let my fucking frustration go somehow. Dying my hair was simpler than killing someone.
“Yeah, a new change” I stated
“Well, don't you think that's something to talk about”
“Look, Gaby, I'm busy—” her phone buzzed and I scoffed softly “And apparently you have a call to take”
“Jimmy—”
“LET’S GET THIS STARTED!” Zacky yelled
“Jimmy, please I wanna talk to you” she said, almost pleading to me
I’m going to hell, for this.
“Well right now, I have to play” I sighed and she looked down, in defeat
No, I can’t be this douche with the only person, I care that damn much!
“Gaby” I called her and she turned around but I didn't talk, what could I say to her? What could I— so I just shook my head 'no' and she went down by the pool table.
I occasionally glanced over were she was, seeing her face almost bruise free, her hair, the way she bite her lip, thinking in whatever the hell she was thinking!
I shook my head and tried to stay calm and remain in concentration in what I was doing. Playing drums!
***
“Gaby” I said towards Gaby “Wanna play drums?”
“Yeah!” I said excited
She took a sit behind the drum set and I handed her my drumsticks. She started playing “Second Heartbeat” she was fucking good. It started to look, like she had been doing this for years. You could see how much she loved it and I loved the fact the I was the one who teached her. After she finished playing I’m sure I was wearing the biggest grin ever.
“Why do you have that face?” she said tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear
“Well, because this means I have to be careful” I said crossing his arms, leaning into the frame of the bookshelf
“Why?” she smirked
“Because you are about this close to steal my drummer job” I made this little space between my thumb and my index.
She laughed “Oh, Jimmy...” she said “They already offered me your job”
Yeah, right
“Oh, man…” I whined “Well now you will have to maintain me”
“HELL NO!” she yelled
“Oh, yeah” I smirked
“You know what” she said “You can keep your drummer spot, You have to maintain me, no the other way around”
I couldn’t help but to laugh “I though you believed in women equality?”
“I do, I just don’t wanna maintain your ass” she stuck her tongue at me and I just chuckled “And for what it’s worth it, I might be really good at drumming but you’re a fucking octopus!”
***
“JIMMY!” Matt yelled snapping me out of my thoughts “Dude, you have been playing the same note for about 20 minutes”
“It wasn't that long” I said, stopping my movements
“You’re really gone, dude” Brian said and I shrugged
“Maybe, I don’t know, I guess I’m tired”
“Tired? Dude, that’s called GUILTY!” Zacky said
“Guilty? For what?” I cocked an eyebrow at him
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe ignoring your best friend who just happens to be THE FUCKING LOV—”
“SHHH!” My hand over his mouth, shutting him up “She’s gonna hear you!”
“Hey, where’s Gaby?” Brian asked
Gaby, well she was asleep in my room. Pretty knock out, Brian found her and she came down grumbling about we didn’t let her sleep and blah
We had been preparing her a surprise, a chocolate cake. Gaby couldn’t celebrate her birthday as she should, because… well, yeah.
So, the boys asked me what she wanted and I told them all. All, except for the gift. THAT is something mine, that I have already got for her. It was the least I could do. But they got her this cake, chocolate of course, but it wasn’t shapped like a PACMAN. So I don’t see the whole,‘Tell me everything you know about what Gaby wanted for her birthday, or will kill you’threat there.
They gave her the cake, and she was thrilled, she told us how amazing we where, yeah, ALL of us.
Fuck my life, If you were wondering, Yeah I feel bad.
And now, I feel even more bad, cause out of nowhere after Brian had asked her, like a fucking proposal!, to be our manager, Leana came in bursting, sucking my face, saying shit to her. I, of course, snapped at her. I fucking snapped! She doesn’t know shit about what happened that day and now this!? I mean c’mon, bitch!
Tell me again, why she is here, again?
I seriously have no idea.
She is really stalking me, she turns into my house, my band practices, whenever I hang out, she is fucking there! Is annoying and honestly? I’m getting enough of it. The boys believe we are together again, when is nothing like that!
Bitch is stalking me and it’s fucking ridiculous!
“Umm, Leana, can you give me a minute to talk to him?” Matt asked the stalker when he came through my bedroom door, I heard Lea mumbled something underneath her breath and then Matt sighed, closing the door and sat next to my bed in a chair.
“Jimmy, dude what’s wrong?” he broke the silence
“I’m tired, Matt!” I said “I’m tired of Lea, of everything!”
“Jimmy—”
“I fucking love her, Matt” I sighed
“I know, we all know” he chuckled “What we don’t know if why are you pushing her out”
“I don’t know if I can’t keep her safe…” I mumbled
“Jimmy, if it wasn’t for you, she would be dead, she wouldn’t have make it, she is here now, do something” he said “Look, she has nightmares, every night, mostly about his dad, and all she screams is your name, she calls for help and when she sees me, she knows it’s not the boy she loves telling her everything’s ok”
I. Am. A. Fucking. Douche.
Among other things.
“You gotta stop being a douche and talk to her, this, whatever the fuck it is, has to end” he said, stooding up from the chair “’I gotta go, I gotta take her down to the hospital”
“What? Why?” I asked, concerned
“Bullet removal” he said and I gave him a nod
“Look, Jimmy… Just put your shit together and work the things out. Whatever happened with his dad, wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do it. Neither did she, that fucker was messed up!” he ran a hand through his buzzed hair
And with that he was gone. I sighed plopping against the mattress. I sighed and I grabbed my lyrics book. This was another excellent way to let go of my fucking frustrations. I opened the book and there it was, her beautiful calligraphy…
'I just want my snuggle buddy, back'
I sighed
“Goodnight, snuggle buddy” she muttered
“Snuggle buddy?” I chuckled
“Yeah” she said
“I like it” I said, grinning “You and me, Gaby and Jimmy, the snuggle buddies”
There was something else wrote here
'Meet me down at the lake, 9:30 pm, Please, just… I wanna see you –Gee (rolling my eyes)'
I took a deep breathe and I knew I had to make a choice… I just hope it was the right one.
[End Jimmy’s POV]
So, my friends think I’m a douche for ignoring Gaby, I’m not ignoring her! I just got full of things whenever she wants to see me, and well—
Well that’s a lie, and you know it
Fuck!
It’s just since that day in the hospital, I can't bring myself to see her, when Amelia told us she was good, I was the first one to step in. She was laid in bed, her head bandaged, her nose had cut, indicating it was broken, her hand and abdomen were covered by clean bandages. Her lip was busted, bruised and purple. The machine keep doing his significative ‘beep, beep, beep, beep’
She was here because of me, because I wasn’t fast enough, because she – I can’t! She died in my fucking arms! She was dead, and looking at her here, breathing slowly. I couldn’t. I just…
“Jimmy, it’s okay” Matt said entering the room “She will be okay”
“I can’t Matt, I can’t” I said and I left the room…
I couldn’t stop seeing her, but I couldn’t be where she knew I was, I couldn’t talk to her, I didn’t know what to do, or say to her.
But I was there. I was there every night, every night I stayed with her until it was 7 a.m. Amelia her doc, she let me stay there with her, every night. And I did that just well, just stay there with her, watching her sleep, talking about all the things I wish I could talk to her, but I couldn’t just talk to her like nothing ever happened. How could I!?
Everything had changed and I didn’t even had a chance to tell her that I lo—
“NO!, BAD MATT!” Gaby yelled between giggles, breaking me from my thoughts, we were now in my garage, we were going to practice a little and we were waiting for Matt “PUT ME DOWN!”
What is she doing here?
“I’M NOT!” she kept yelling “PUT ME FUCKING DOWN, NOW SANDERS!”
Oh, God… There she is.
She looks so beautiful, it makes me wanna stand up and hug her and kiss her, kiss her until we were both breathless.
“Oh, sweet Jesus!” she winced and I stood still there. Every inch on my body wanted to smash Zacky’s head against the wall
Aggressive?
Yeah.
“Shit! I’m sorry, Gaby, are you okay?” he asked, concerned and she nodded
“Way to go, dumbass!” short-shit slapped his arm
WOW, Finally short-shit does something good!
“I’m fine, seriously” she glanced where I was, and suddenly I saw Zacky running upstairs. Oh, yeah. Brian
You see, Brian as my best friend has being nagging me about me talking to Gaby, and end this shit already, he says that after a good fuck everything would be okay, and after I almost break his back, he shut up. But he hasn’t see Gaby since that party a few weeks ago.
“WHERE IS SHE!?” Brian yelled overly excited
“I’m here, Bri” she rolled her eyes and shook his head
“GABY!” he ran towards her and pulled her into a tight hug
Oh, hell no!
I stood up quickly, I was almost in my way to attack Bri, when Matt came over to say hello
“Hello, Jimbo” he said and I looked at him, sitting again on the stool
“Hey, dude” I replied, a little bitter
“Whoa, did you get up from the wrong side of the bed?” he joked
“Something like that” I said “What is she doing here?” I glanced towards her and she was deep in conversation with the boys
“Oh, well, she wanted to come, and I wasn’t just going to say ‘No, cause Jimmy’s being an asshole, doesn’t want to talk to you and—Whoa, relax!” he said, when I started glaring at him
“You’re gonna kill me with one of those looks one of this days”
“Good”
Matt left to say hello to the boys and Gaby came down where I was
Oh, shit! No!
“Hey, Jimmy” she said
Maybe if I don’t answer her, she will go
“Jimmy” she said again
Oh, no, no! Please Gaby, go!
Yeah, like that it’s going to happen. Gaby is probably the most stubborn person I know..Besides me.
“JAMES OWEN SULLIVAN!” she yelled and I snapped
See?
“What?”
“I—Are you ignoring me?” she asked, crossing her arms over chest
“No, why?”
“I just— Why haven’t you come to visit me? Or tried to talk to me?” she asked
Cause I don't know where to start to ask for your forgiveness?
“I was busy” I replied
“Busy to see your best friend?”she cocked an eyebrow
“Gaby, I was busy. Actually I’m busy right now” I shrugged
I, know, I know. Asshole, everywhere!
“Jimmy, we need to talk” she said
“There’s nothing to talk”
“You have black hair” she pointed
Oh, yeah. I dye my hair black, in a rage. I had to let my fucking frustration go somehow. Dying my hair was simpler than killing someone.
“Yeah, a new change” I stated
“Well, don't you think that's something to talk about”
“Look, Gaby, I'm busy—” her phone buzzed and I scoffed softly “And apparently you have a call to take”
“Jimmy—”
“LET’S GET THIS STARTED!” Zacky yelled
“Jimmy, please I wanna talk to you” she said, almost pleading to me
I’m going to hell, for this.
“Well right now, I have to play” I sighed and she looked down, in defeat
No, I can’t be this douche with the only person, I care that damn much!
“Gaby” I called her and she turned around but I didn't talk, what could I say to her? What could I— so I just shook my head 'no' and she went down by the pool table.
I occasionally glanced over were she was, seeing her face almost bruise free, her hair, the way she bite her lip, thinking in whatever the hell she was thinking!
I shook my head and tried to stay calm and remain in concentration in what I was doing. Playing drums!
***
“Gaby” I said towards Gaby “Wanna play drums?”
“Yeah!” I said excited
She took a sit behind the drum set and I handed her my drumsticks. She started playing “Second Heartbeat” she was fucking good. It started to look, like she had been doing this for years. You could see how much she loved it and I loved the fact the I was the one who teached her. After she finished playing I’m sure I was wearing the biggest grin ever.
“Why do you have that face?” she said tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear
“Well, because this means I have to be careful” I said crossing his arms, leaning into the frame of the bookshelf
“Why?” she smirked
“Because you are about this close to steal my drummer job” I made this little space between my thumb and my index.
She laughed “Oh, Jimmy...” she said “They already offered me your job”
Yeah, right
“Oh, man…” I whined “Well now you will have to maintain me”
“HELL NO!” she yelled
“Oh, yeah” I smirked
“You know what” she said “You can keep your drummer spot, You have to maintain me, no the other way around”
I couldn’t help but to laugh “I though you believed in women equality?”
“I do, I just don’t wanna maintain your ass” she stuck her tongue at me and I just chuckled “And for what it’s worth it, I might be really good at drumming but you’re a fucking octopus!”
***
“JIMMY!” Matt yelled snapping me out of my thoughts “Dude, you have been playing the same note for about 20 minutes”
“It wasn't that long” I said, stopping my movements
“You’re really gone, dude” Brian said and I shrugged
“Maybe, I don’t know, I guess I’m tired”
“Tired? Dude, that’s called GUILTY!” Zacky said
“Guilty? For what?” I cocked an eyebrow at him
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe ignoring your best friend who just happens to be THE FUCKING LOV—”
“SHHH!” My hand over his mouth, shutting him up “She’s gonna hear you!”
“Hey, where’s Gaby?” Brian asked
Gaby, well she was asleep in my room. Pretty knock out, Brian found her and she came down grumbling about we didn’t let her sleep and blah
We had been preparing her a surprise, a chocolate cake. Gaby couldn’t celebrate her birthday as she should, because… well, yeah.
So, the boys asked me what she wanted and I told them all. All, except for the gift. THAT is something mine, that I have already got for her. It was the least I could do. But they got her this cake, chocolate of course, but it wasn’t shapped like a PACMAN. So I don’t see the whole,‘Tell me everything you know about what Gaby wanted for her birthday, or will kill you’threat there.
They gave her the cake, and she was thrilled, she told us how amazing we where, yeah, ALL of us.
Fuck my life, If you were wondering, Yeah I feel bad.
And now, I feel even more bad, cause out of nowhere after Brian had asked her, like a fucking proposal!, to be our manager, Leana came in bursting, sucking my face, saying shit to her. I, of course, snapped at her. I fucking snapped! She doesn’t know shit about what happened that day and now this!? I mean c’mon, bitch!
Tell me again, why she is here, again?
I seriously have no idea.
She is really stalking me, she turns into my house, my band practices, whenever I hang out, she is fucking there! Is annoying and honestly? I’m getting enough of it. The boys believe we are together again, when is nothing like that!
Bitch is stalking me and it’s fucking ridiculous!
“Umm, Leana, can you give me a minute to talk to him?” Matt asked the stalker when he came through my bedroom door, I heard Lea mumbled something underneath her breath and then Matt sighed, closing the door and sat next to my bed in a chair.
“Jimmy, dude what’s wrong?” he broke the silence
“I’m tired, Matt!” I said “I’m tired of Lea, of everything!”
“Jimmy—”
“I fucking love her, Matt” I sighed
“I know, we all know” he chuckled “What we don’t know if why are you pushing her out”
“I don’t know if I can’t keep her safe…” I mumbled
“Jimmy, if it wasn’t for you, she would be dead, she wouldn’t have make it, she is here now, do something” he said “Look, she has nightmares, every night, mostly about his dad, and all she screams is your name, she calls for help and when she sees me, she knows it’s not the boy she loves telling her everything’s ok”
I. Am. A. Fucking. Douche.
Among other things.
“You gotta stop being a douche and talk to her, this, whatever the fuck it is, has to end” he said, stooding up from the chair “’I gotta go, I gotta take her down to the hospital”
“What? Why?” I asked, concerned
“Bullet removal” he said and I gave him a nod
“Look, Jimmy… Just put your shit together and work the things out. Whatever happened with his dad, wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do it. Neither did she, that fucker was messed up!” he ran a hand through his buzzed hair
And with that he was gone. I sighed plopping against the mattress. I sighed and I grabbed my lyrics book. This was another excellent way to let go of my fucking frustrations. I opened the book and there it was, her beautiful calligraphy…
'I just want my snuggle buddy, back'
I sighed
“Goodnight, snuggle buddy” she muttered
“Snuggle buddy?” I chuckled
“Yeah” she said
“I like it” I said, grinning “You and me, Gaby and Jimmy, the snuggle buddies”
There was something else wrote here
'Meet me down at the lake, 9:30 pm, Please, just… I wanna see you –Gee (rolling my eyes)'
I took a deep breathe and I knew I had to make a choice… I just hope it was the right one.
[End Jimmy’s POV]
7/30/13