“I’m going to fuck you so hard, that you will forget…” he trailed “What’s his name, Jean? John? Jimmy!” he snapped his fingers, and I hissed at him

“Shhhhh” he cooed “You won’t even remember that I killed him, when I’m done with you” he said

My eyes widened

“NOO! WHERE IS HE!?” I screamed, tears rolling down my cheeks

“Next to you” he grabbed my face and turned it forcefully to the left and there he was, his lifeless body lying on the floor… bloody and beaten, his blue eyes were tinted gray, his face was paler than the usual. I couldn’t recognize him, I couldn’t…

“NOO!” I yelled

***

“GABY!” someone yelled shaking me and my eyes snapped open. It was Matt

I looked around the room, checking I was safe, in Matt's house. I turned at him for a moment and by the look on his face, I knew I must look dreadful. I felt the need to puke my guts out and without hesitation, he gave me the bucket, I knew almost too well, and he hold my hair away from my mouth, while I dropped everything I had for dinner yesterday in the bucket.

After I was done, I got out of bed, Matt following me close behind.

“Another one?” he asked and I nodded

“They’re becoming more and more frequently, I just—” I sighed “I don’t know what to do anymore”

I walked into the bathroom and I washed my mouth with some water, to get rid of the vomit taste. I washed my face and I cleaned with the towel Matt was handing me.

“Give it a time, it’s being close to a month since everything happened” he said “You can just expect to forget everything so fast”

“I know, I know” I sighed “I wish I could, you know? Pretend this never happened”, and I went back to my room, plopping myself in bed, my arm dropped across my face, covering my eyes from the daylight.

“I know, baby. But everything would be better. In time” he said and I snorted “Hey, I’m making breakfast. Would you like some?”

“After vomiting my guts out? Surprisingly yeah” I said foolish and he smiled showing his dimples

“I just have to change” I said

“Can you change your bandages or do you need help?” he asked

“Nah, I'm okay” I said and he nodded leaving my room so I could have privacy changing.

When I was taking my shirt off, Matt called from the outside and said “Don’t forget we have an appointment today”

I sighed “I was hoping you wouldn’t remember” I chuckled

He scowled and said “Well, I do”

I groaned and said “Yeah, yeah”

I changed my clothes after a quick shower and I decided to go for a Megadeth shirt, some ripped jeans, and my comfortable converse. I changed my bandages and I applied my usual makeup, my hair was loose, since my head wasn't completely healed from the stitches and it was aching to much for wearing it in a ponytail.

I got downstairs and the air of pancakes, sausages and bacon filled my nostrils

“Something smells, really nice” I stated “Did Val came and made breakfast?” I teased, sitting in the table

Matt scoffed and said putting some pancakes, egss and bacon in my plate “For your information, I’m an excellent cook”

I raised an eyebrow at him in a ‘what-ever-helps-you-sleep-at-night’ kind of way

“That and it wasn’t Val, it was my mom” he said and I grinned.

Ha! I knew it!

Breakfast with Matt was always pretty cool, talking about what we usually do, songs, movies, videogames, the band, merch. With none of the guys, I never feel like an awkward silence, well now with Jimmy, it’s kinda like that. But I haven’t talk to him since well a month ago. I’m always trying to talk to him, since the bomb Matt dropped on me, I know now why Jimmy is acting like this. Well I have an idea, I guess… But whenever we are going to hang out and I’m going, he bails. Whatever we do and I’m there, he bails!

He goes out with the guys, whenever I’m NOT there. The boys they tried to apologize for him, but I’m sick and tired of this bullshit.

Why doesn’t he wants to talk to me!?

I’m not fucking dead!! I’m here and I need him, I need my fucking best friend.

“GABY!” Matt called me “Gaby, did you heard what I said”

I shook my head no and he sighed, “I said I’m going to practice with the boys and then I can pick you up from here, or you could come with me” he said

I was about to tell him, I wanted to stay in, but this could be a perfect moment to see Jimmy and ask for some explanations.

“Sure, Mattie, I’ll go” I replied

“Great, well we have like 5 minutes to be there so finish quickly” he said, taking his empty plate to the sink, I was about to munch my toast, when Matt picked his keys and called me from the door “Yo! Gaby, c’mon those 5 minutes were 15 ago!”

I rolled my eyes and I started walking to him, with my toast in mouth and I glared at him while I passed through him to the car and he just smirked

“C’mon, toast monster” he said and I almost choke on the toast, because he made me giggle

We got into the car and he start to drive us towards Jimmy house. I nuzzled against the window and I drifted into sleep

***

“Why on earth are you so quiet, Gee?” Jimmy asked me

“It’s nothing and stop calling me Gee, you know I hate that” I frowned at him

I’m right now, lying in my best friend, Jimmy’s legs while he runs his fingers through my hair.

“Are you going to tell me what happened to your wrist?” he asked me, concern filled his voice

My dad, grabbed a little too tight my wrists, when I tried to make him back off from me. And now I had a red, purple bruise on my wrist, which Jimmy was tracing slowly, cause he knew it hurt.

“Well, Gaby?” he insisted and I sighed.

I don’t even know where to start Jimmy…

“I slept with this fucking ponytail and I guess it was too tight” I shrugged

He sighed and kept rubbing around my wrist “It’s too bruised for being a ponytail—”

“Jimmy?” I cut him off

He looked at me, telling me I had his attention

“I love you, Jims” I smiled and he smiled back

“I love you too, Gee” he stroked my cheek and I rolled my eyes.

***

“Gaby… Gaby” I heard the voice of Matt calling me “We’re here”