The night was cold and there was a harsh breeze outside. Besides the sound of the wind, the night was very still, quiet. Almost as the happiness left the world for the hour. It was in the middle of the night, which was surprising for Huntington Beach. It was around 4 am, which the sun should've been rising from the horizon within the next hour or two. But no, the sky was dark and the stars were glistening. The moon bleed through the shades of Elise's window, letting the light hit her face, making it hard for her to sleep. She rolled onto her side, letting her auburn locks slip down her shoulder. Her blue-gray orbs stared out into the night, knowing that something didn't feel right.

She tried her damnest to fall asleep, but all the tricks in the book weren't helping. With a sigh, she tried to close her eyelids. She needed rest because she knew that she had to awake early to help out with the new album. However, Jimmy's song, Death, was clouding her mind. She didn't understand why he had written it. It seemed way too extreme from his usual writings.

Her iPhone vibrated on her night stand. The sound of the vibration made her eyes shoot open. She grabbed it, wondering why the hell someone was calling at 4 in the morning. The name on the screen read, 'Matt<3' Her eyebrows furrowed. Matt would barely call her in the middle of the night. There had been a couple times where he would leave her cute messages to wake up to.

"Hey, babe," Elise greeted with a groggy voice. "What's up?"

"Um..." Matt mumbled, then sniffed. Soft sobs came from his end of the phone. Elise immediately sat up, feeling a chill go up her spine. She had never seen Matt cry within the years they had known each other, and even the four years of dating. "Zack, I can't tell her. I just can't." He spoke softly, away from the phone, but she could still hear what they were talking about.

"Can't tell me, what?" Elise said, her eyes now filling with tears. There was a muffled noise which meant Matt gave his cell phone to Zack. He also sniffed, too. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Jimmy isn't here anymore, Elise." Zack said, starting to cry more. Elise didn't understand what he meant. "He's gone."

Gone.

The words echoed in her head repeatedly. "Wh-what? No, that - no! He can't be dead!" Elise denied Zack's words. Tears were streaming down her face at this point and she could tell that Zack was starting to cry much heavily now. "Where are you guys?"

"Matt's." Zack responded. Elise was standing up now, grabbing her pair of flip-flops. She stayed in her purple and black plaid pajama shorts and her black Die, Die, Die, My Darling Misfits shirt. She told them that she'd be there in a few minutes. She hung up the phone and shoved into her short's pocket. She took the hair tie on her wrist to put her hair into a lazy bun. She walked out of her room, grabbed her keys and made her way to the front door. She stopped in front of the door as if there was a force before her to forbid her from moving.

"Why..." She muttered, starting to feel the tears burn her eyes. She let them fall and soon enough she was crying almost hysterically. It had finally hit her that her best friend was gone. She opened her front door and slammed it behind her. Walking quickly to her car, the tears seemed to rolled down her cheeks faster than before. She opened her car door, then procceded to turn on the engine. She plugged her iPhone into the car and clicked on Snuff by Slipknot. After buckling her seatbelt, she backed out of her driveway. She drove as fast as she could to her boyfriend's house. She didn't care if she was speeding. She just wanted to see her best friends - minus one.

Elise arrived at Matt's house. Every one of the guy's car was there, even Val's. Even though Matt and Valary dated in high school, they still remained close. Jimmy and her were closer, which made her presence appropriate. Elise parked behind Brian's car, turned off the engine and slammed the car door. Matt could hear the slam and went over to the front door. He opened the door to see his girlfriend running toward him. She looked like a mess, a beautiful mess.

Elise collided into him, wrapping her arms around him for dear life. Matt returned the embrace. As soon as their bodies touched, both of them started to cry, as hard as they ever could. Elise's face was buried into his shirt. The fabric soaked up the tears, while Matt's face was in her shoulder, letting his own tears get soaked up by her Misfits shirt. "Baby, it's gonna be okay... I'm here." Matt whispered into her ear, placing a kiss onto her neck. "I love you, the guys love you, Jimmy loves you. He'd want you to not morn. Stay strong, baby." He could feel her body getting weak against his. She had the strength to let go and see the other guys. Matt closed the door behind them, keeping a close distance between them.

Brian wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her as soon as she returned his hug. "Elise, my god," He choked through his tears. It was so hard for everyone to see Brian's emotion. He was Jimmy's best friend, and vice versa. It was like he died, too. After the embrace, Zack received an embrace from her, then Johnny, even Valary and Michelle.

Matt moved to the couch, which Elise sat down beside him. His arm was around her and her hand was on his leg. She was flushed against his body, too scared too move. She was now wearing his furry hoodie, swimming in the heavy fabric but she felt safe. Tears were still streaming down her face, but they were controlled.

"Remember when Jimmy got arrested in Germany? He played the show the next day and all the shit was in his eyes because he didn't take a fucking shower?" Elise asked. They were all sharing stories about Jimmy, trying to be positive about the subject, but they all knew they were dying on the inside. Every one laughed, remember the moment.

Unfortunatly, the positive energy in the room subsided. "It's like the happiness from the world just... disappeared." Elise whispered, trying to break the silence. They all sighed in agreeance. Matt's lips pressed against her temple then rubbed his hand against her arm.

"I need to go home," Michelle croaked. She stood up, giving Brian a kiss on the lips. He was too numb to move. Valary followed behind, not saying a word. The room was just the band and Elise. For some reason, it felt like there was someone else in the room now.

"Feels like someone's here." Johnny mumbled, looking around the room.

"Yes, it does." Zack responded, running his lips over his snakebites. His teeth clamped on one, tugging on it.

"Jimmy's here." Elise said, a slight raise of happiness in her voice. She looked around the room, feeling her heart pound. "He definitely is. I can feel him."

"I can, too." Brian said, smiling a little now.

"He doesn't want us to be sad. But, how can we fucking not?" Matt growled, looking up at the cieling, then arond the room.

"We should all get some rest." Elise responded, placing a kiss onto Matt's cheek. He nodded, telling her to stay on the couch. He asked the other guys to help with the air mattresses from the closet. They took out four of them, blowing each of them up and kept them close together. Each person got their own, but Elise and Matt shared one.

This time when Elise closed her eyes, she fell asleep. Matt played with her hair, but he couldn't fall asleep, neither could the rest of the guys. Elise needed the sleep and Jimmy wanted her to know that everything was going to be okay. She slept peacefully, silently, and feeling like they could go through this while the guys continued to stay up and talk about Jimmy until they fell asleep.

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid. The ones that we love are here with me.
Lay away a place for me, 'cause as soon as I'm done, I'll be on my way...
to live eternally.

Notes

This is awful to write, but I knew I couldn't write it if it were any closer to the anniversary.
For you, Jimmy. I miss you so much.
Jess x