Matt and I spent the day in each other's company, which was perfect. That's how we spent the majority of the week, which I needed because when I was around Matt I felt completely at ease. I spent part of Monday with Brian, and the other part of it with the rest of the guys. It really was nice being able to call this crazy gang of people my friends. That night when we were all together I suggested tot he guys that we should all get together on the eve of Thanksgiving and play games and bake pies and cookies and what not for dinner the next day. It was a tradition my family and I had always kept.

"That actually sounds really fun" Zacky replied to my suggestion.

I smiled in response, " We can all meet here, wednesday night" Matt agreed.

"Deal" Brian smirked, "I'm ready to get my game on"

"I'll show you game" Jimmy retorted.

"or will you" I raised my eyebrows. As I did so he punched me lightly in the arm.

The night ended soon and the guys went home. Matt and I were left alone, sitting on the deck off the back of his house. It was cold out, but being under the stars brought serenity to the moment.
Matt wrapped his arm around me and kissed the side of my head lightly.

"I'm really glad you're here" He mumbled.

"I'm really glad i'm here too" I smiled as I gazed into his hazel eyes. His mouth formed into a smile that revealed his adorable dimples.

"It sucks that you have to go back to Boston on Saturday" Matt groaned as he looked out into the distance. I glanced up at him, he had a serious expression on his face.

"I don't want to go back" I mumbled, "it isn't exactly fun being alone in my dorm room, and studying at all hours of the day"

I rested my head on his shoulder as I poured out my thoughts to him.

"Don't you have a roommate?" He questioned.

"Yeah" I rolled my eyes at the thought of Josie.

"So, are you friends with her?" Matt persisted.

"Nope" I said popping the 'p', "She accused me of cheating on you with Brian and a whole bunch of other bullshit"

"Oh" Matt said plainly.

"Yeah, so I avoid her at all costs" I shook my head, "It's not how I want to spend my days"

"Then don't go back" Matt looked down at me.

"I have to" I sighed.

"Say's who?"

"No one, but I have to go to college, I might as well go now. Bedsides, four years goes by fast" I looked into his eyes as I spoke, sadness swept across his face as the words 'four years' rolled of my tongue.

"You don't have to go to college Morgan, I didn't go to college, look how I ended up" Matt chuckled proudly.

"But I do because a) I don't see myself becoming a world renowned rock star anytime soon and b) it's what my parent would of wanted and I live to make them happy." I admitted to him. His face lightened a little, as he pulled me into a hug from the side.

"I understand" Matt whispered.

We sat out there for a while, enjoying each others presence. Matt kept his arms around me and I stayed resting my head on my shoulder until I started dozing off. Matt noticed so he picked me up and carried me up to his room to go to sleep.

~~~

At some odd hour of the morning I woke up randomly and couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned then Matt started snoring so I gave up. I slowly pulled myself out from under the covers and Matt's embrace. I walked over to my luggage and grabbed my blue journal out of the front pocket, I grabbed a pen as well and opened to the first blank page I found.

So, I never know how to start these journal entries. The majority of them begin with; Long time no see, So, Uhm yeah. I've always been awful at introductions. ANYWHO. I'm, in California. With Matt. I don't know who else I would be with, considering I don't have many friends. Things have been going well, but honestly, I'm dreading going back to college, mainly because of Josie. I don't call many girls this word, because so common but Josie is a complete bitch. It just sucks, life sucks. Well, most of life sucks, there one part of my life that brings me happiness and that's Matt. The love of my life, my world, my best friend, my life, my light, my everything. I never thought it was possible to grow so close someone in such a short period of time. But… I stand corrected. Matt knows more about me then anyone and its comforting because I trust him. It's comforting because I know he'll always be there for me. And it's comforting because I feel like myself around him, which is something I haven't had in the longest time. Being around him is so refreshing. ANYWHO. Wow don't I have the best transitions? It's a wonder I was in AP English all through out high school. What's a better transition? In addition to my previous statement, tomorrow I am going to be continuing my annual tradition of baking on the eve of thanksgiving with the guys. That flowed nicely. SO, yeah that's what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't know how I'm going to hold together, considering it's a tradition my parents and I kept for years. As long as I can remember actually. It will be interesting, no doubt there. I have Matt though, so it's all good. I should probably go back to bed. How should I end this? Hmm… How about a song quote?
"I want to know what love is, I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me"
I crawled back into bed carefully in attempts not to wake Matt. As I settle my head on the pillow, a knot formed in my stomach. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't remember what. It was an awful feeling. I sat there staring into the dim light, when I suddenly remembered; Matt and I still aren't back together technically. I brushed the feeling aside as best as I could. I just had to give it time, I'm sure Matt will ask me to be his girlfriend.

~~~

Hours later, I woke up late and alone. It was odd, considering Matt usually waited for me to wake up. I tried not to think anything of it, because I didn't want my thoughts to get the best of my although they already were. They always did. I changed quickly and made my way downstairs. I didn't bother with breakfast.

As I walked down the hallway I noticed the basement door cracked slightly, I made my way down the long staircase. I stayed quiet, Matt had his back to me and was sitting at a table with a bunch of paper around him. There was recording equipment around the room along with 1 acoustic guitar and an upright piano against the wall. I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed and I listened to the music that was filling the room.

House full of roses
A letter on the stairs
A tape full of messages
For anyone who cares

I closed my eyes and listened each and every word. Absorbing it all.

Collage of broken words
And stories full of tears
Remembering your life
'Cause we wish you were here

Those few lyrics, without a second thought made me think of my parents. It made me think of all the emotional poems and journal entries I had written about them. It made me think of whenever I told the story of the accident, how the tears just flowed naturally. In that moment I felt a tear flow down my face.

Nothing is harder
Than to wake up all alone
Realize it's not okay
It's the end of all you know
Time keeps passing by
But it seems I'm frozen still
Scars are left behind
But some too deep to feel

I continued to listen carefully to each word. It was amazing how I was interpreting this song. The lyrics just fit the event of my parents passing so perfectly.

I walked down the staircase and made my way over to Matt, who was deep in concentration.

"Hey" I said softly as I walked up behind him.

"Oh, hey" Matt smiled as he turned around, "How long have you been here?" He laughed as he paused the song.

"Long enough to know that this might be my new favorite song on the album" I smiled.

"Really?" A smile grew on Matt's face. I sat down in his lap as he engulfed me into his embrace.

"Yes" I said confidently.

"I wrote it for you" He admitted shyly. I was flattered, no one had ever written a song for me, "Here, listen to the rest of it." Matt said as he put his headphones on me and took the song off pause and once again I was swallowed into the world of music as I listened to each and every word, melody, and harmony of the song.

Some days you'll find me
In the place I like to go
Ask questions to myself
'Bout the things I'll never know
What's left to find
'Cause I need a little more
I need a little time
Can we even up the score?


The words made me recall certain events that I didn't even know I remembered. This particular verse made me think of the time, shortly after my parents died when I skipped school and spent the day at this lake some where in the forest near my house. I had written about it in my journal. That day could most definitely be classified as one of the worst days of my life. The chorus began playing as I recalled the horrid memory.

Nothing lasts forever
For all good things it's true
I'd rather trade it all
While somehow saving you
It must have been the season
That threw us out of line
Once I stood so tall
Now I'm searching for a sign


I looked at Matt when it said 'I'. I couldn't tell if he was writing that from my perspective or his. If it was from his, it was truly sweet. He knew why I looked at him too. He half smiled before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Just listen, Morgan" He whispered against my skin.

So don't need your salvation
With promises unkind
And all those speculation
Save it for another time
'Cause we all need a reason
A reason just to stay
Some just can't be bothered
To stick around another day

The song finished with the coursing, and vocals trailing off. I was truly moved and flattered. The song was beautiful and the fact that Matt wrote it for me was touching.

"What's the name of it?" I asked.

"Victim" He spoke to me.

"I like that" I smiled, "I love the whole song actually, I can't believe you wrote it for me"

"A song is nothing, it's the least I can do" Matt sighed.

"No one's ever written a song for me" I smiled, I could feel my face reddening.

"Well I'm glad, I'm the first then" Matt smiled before placing a loving kiss on my lips. I moved my hands behind his neck to deepen the kiss. I pulled away and glanced into his eyes before placing my lips on his again. I loved this man more than I ever thought it was possible to love a human being.

Notes

Yay new chapter!!! :)
SO I'm going to try updating more often.
School has just been extremely busy :') I took the PSAT's today, and I'm pretty sure I failed them. But funny story: Yesterday in english, since I was bored outta my mind, i outlined the upcoming chapters for this fanfiction :)
Feedback is wanted ;)