I stared out the front passenger window of Brian's SUV, watching the street light's as they passed. Brian and I hadn't said a single word to each other since he showed up at the apartment. The silence was awkward to say the least. It was never like this between us. Maybe Lilli had told him What happened. I turned my attention from the thing's passing us to him. He looked so tired. Like he hadn't slept in day's. But it also didn't help that it was a little past 4 in the morning.
I felt bad that he picked me up, but he did it willingly. It's not like I called him. I was more than thankful that he had decided to come get me. I don't know if I would have been able to stay there tonight.
"Thanks". I said. I needed to say something. I was surprised when he turned to face me.
"No problem". He smiled before looking back to the road.
"Lilli told you didn't she"? I asked already knowing the answer.
"yes".
"Is that why your not talking"?
"Yes and no. Plus I kinda figured you didn't want to talk about it".
"Are you mad"? I felt like a child again, being scolded.
"At you"? He asked looking over at me. I shook my head.
"It's not that I'm mad, I just thought you were done with pill's and shit. At least that's the way it sounded the other night when you told me about it".
"I am".
"Obviously not". That hurt. "I mean we all do shit. Smoking pot every now and then. Of course we drink, but not pill's".
"I didn't take the pill's". He sighed. "I swear I didn't take them".
"Why were you over there then"?
"I went over there the night Ashley told you my mom had cancer".
"That's why"? He asked,"that's why you went over there"?
"Yes. that is why I went over there". I did not want to spend my night arguing with him.
"I was going to find out anyway". I shook my head already frustrated knowing where this 'conversation' was headed.
"That's not the point Brian".
"Then what is"? He asked eyebrow's raised waiting for an answer.
"The point is she was a stupid bitch. I wanted to tell you not her"! He was quiet. "So I went over looking for a release, something that would help. It was the only way I knew how to deal, the only thing I could think of".
"So popping pill's is the way to deal with it". He said sarcastically.

"you want anything"? Brian asked as we pulled into the seven 11 parking lot by his house. I shook my head no. He shut his door then walked into seven 11.
I wanted him to believe me so bad. At this point it wasn't really any use in trying to make him believe me. He was gonna believe what he want's to no matter what I say.
My phone ringing startled me. I answered it with out looking at the name.
"Hello"?
"Hey. It's Tom. Are you OK"? The panic in his voice was evident. "Lilli just sent me picture's of what you looked like. What the hell happened"?
"Yea I'm as OK as I can be I guess". I spotted Brian through the glass door's.
"What I saw in the picture's doesn't really qualify as OK to me".
"I'll be fine, but I have a question I need to ask you".
"Yes"? I knew he probably wouldn't be happy about what I was about to say.
"I was wondering if I could be a waitress...permanently. I figured if it's okay with you that I could started in a couple day's since dancing covered in bruises doesn't really seem like a choice".
He sighed.
"I understand you being a temporary waitress, but permanently isn't really a choice either. Your one of my best dancer's. I can't just up and have you stop dancing for good. I lose money that way. Even if you were to be a waitress, and you'd still be in the club, I would still lose money in the long run".
Fuck. I really hate dancing. Now more than ever. I mean it brings in good money, but sometimes it just doesn't feel worth it. Now more than ever.
"Find some new girl's Tom".
"That's like telling you to take your tattoo's off. I can't".
Brian started towards his car.
"I..I'll call you later". I pushed the end button once I heard a click from the other end. If I ever wanted a new job I would just have to quit. I've only had this one job. So I didn't know anything else But I don't know how much longer I can continue with the job I do have.
"I figured you would want some coffee since I'm out at my house". He said after opening his door. He handed me the coffee.
"Thank you". I grabbed the coffee.
I put the coffee between my bruised thigh's not realizing my short's had ridin up showing a good majority of the cut's on my thigh. I quickly pulled them down hoping he didn't notice.
I must have fallen asleep on the way to his house because the next thing I knew Brian had carried me inside.

I woke up from a stinging pain radiating through my side.
"Fuck". I hissed in pain.
I opened my eye's very quickly realizing I was no longer in Brian's car. I looked around instantly recognizing the room I was in, better yet the bed. I closed my eye's and pushed the stray hair's that had managed to make it out of my pony tail, out of my face. I glanced over at the clock.
"7:30 pm. I can't believe he let me sleep all day". I mumbled to my self before very painfully sitting up. I was thankful I was in his bed but felt kinda bad that he didn't sleep in it. It was his bed, not mine, so he had every right to make me sleep on the couch.
I stood and stretched in an attempt to loosen my muscles but failed horribly. Instead I ended back on my ass on his bed with my arm's wrapped around my self.
"Ow". I said loudly.
I painfully made my way to the hall way. I Could faintly hear what ever was on his TV.
Brian sat on the floor with his back up against his leather couch. His lap top on his lap. I was surprised to see a small white dog snuggled up next to him. I couldn't help but smile at him. His hair was flat. No spikes.
"Hey". I said starling him.
"Your alive". He chuckled. "Sleep good"?
I shook my head yes.
"I didn't know you had a dog". He looked down at the ball of fluff smiling.
"Her name is Pinkly. Ashley has had her for a bit. I finally got her back yesterday".
Pinkly ran over to me when she spotted me.
"She's just like you". He looked at me confused.
"Your both not afraid of strangers". I chuckled leaning down slowly to pet her.
"She actually slept by you most of the night". I continued to pet the small dog smiling.
"Do you mind if I take a shower"? I asked standing back up.
"No of course not". He put his lap top on the floor next to him and stood.
Pinkly followed us back into his bed room.
"Ill get your bag". He said walking over to his dresser. "Why your here your free to anything".
"I would feel weird if I didn't ask".
He walked over to me and set my bag on the bed.

We stood there looking at each other.
"You know I'm not mad at you right"? He asked looking at me. I shook my head no.
"I figured if you were I couldn't blame you. It wasn't a smart on my part. what if Lilli got hurt? I don't know what I would of done if she got hurt because of me". My mom's word's echoed through my mind.

*"We all make mistakes. We all do wrong. We all need to know when to admit when were wrong".*

Thinking of her word's hit me like a ton of brick's. I would have never gone over there if she wasn't sick. Ashley wouldn't have told Brian. None of this would have happened.
I felt hot tear's freely fall down my face.
"Shit happens". I chuckled at his response."We all make mistakes".
"This was more of a fuck up".
He pulled me close to him, wrapping his muscular arm's around my bruised torso. I ignored the pain and did the same.
"I wish my mom was here so none of this happened". I buried my face in his chest continuing to let my tear's fall.
"I know". I pulled away from him feeling like an idiot for crying in front of him so much.
"I'll be okay". I said quickly after taking a deep breath.
"I know. No one can fuck with you". I couldn't help but laugh.
"HA HA! I made you laugh! Score". He looked like a little kid who had just opened up an amazing present on Christmas morning.
"Well I'm not gonna keep you from your shower any longer".
"It's not like I mind". I smiled probably blushing at my word's.
"It's just cuz I'm irresistible". He winked at me. "If you would like we can have that 'date' we didn't get yesturday"?
"Yea". Here come's the idiot smile. "I would love to". Brian has always been able to make me smile when I'm down.
"Sweet. Hey you hear that"? He stopped
"Hear what"? I asked confused.
"I think I just got sexier". I couldn't hold the laughter in.
"You know you want this". He said wiggling his eyebrow's at me as he disapeered into the hallway.
He was right. I do.