* "It's okay to cry". My mother's said softly running her fingers through my hair. She sounded so weak. Tear's slowly fell down my cheeks.
"you know I'm ready Harlow. I have been for a long time". those word's made my heart sink. I sighed and couldn't find any word's to say. I just looked at her frail, pale, sickly looking body surrounded by white in her hospital bed she had been laying in for the past 2 month's.
"You know I love you ". I smiled.
"yea". My voice was shaky. "I know. I'll never forget. How could I"?
"I know you wont. I just wanted to say it one last time". I grabbed her hand lacing my finger's with her's. Her skin was so cold.

"It won't be the last time. I promise". She smiled. It was so nice to see her smile. she rarely ever smiled since she found out she had cancer. "you're gonna be okay. You're gonna get out of here very soon, and thing's are gonna go back to how they were, like none of this happened".
"I used to hate you're tattoo's". she paused running her finger's over the tattoo on my right hand.
"But they really have become a part of you. I could never imagine you with out them". I looked down at the floor.
A loud beep caught my attention. I quickly looked up to see her heart beat had flat lined.
"Mom". I said panicked."MOM"! I screamed tear's pouring down my face. "NO! MOM"!*

My eye's shot open. my heart was racing. I quickly sat up running my finger's through my hair.
"Fuck". I sighed. My voice was shaky. "dammit." I glanced over at my phone to check the time.
"10:52. Guess I should get up". I slowly made my way over to my light switch. I flipped it on wincing at the bright light. My eye's scanned over my poster covered walls, spotting the occasional bright red paint peaking out from beneath the posters, and what ever other random thing's had found there way taped to my wall's. So many thing's had accumulated on my wall's i gave up on ever re painting my room. It would be way to much work to take all that crap down, paint the wall's what ever color I was feeling at the time, then put it all back up.

I pulled on a pair of boxer short's over my underwear. As much as I would love to gross Lilli out, this morning I defiantly was not in the mood to. I grabbed my pack of Red's and my cell phone before making my way down stairs to the kitchen.
"Well good morning gorgeous". Lilli squeaked catching me off guard.
"OK"? I said standing in the kitchen door way, with an eyebrow raised wanting to question her oh so peppy mood this morning.
"pancakes"? She asked smiling, spatula in hand. "there really good".
"sure". I chuckled before plopping my self down in one of the kitchen chair's.
"Excuse me I just bought those". Zacky said popping his head around into the kitchen.
"you act like i weigh as much as a cow". I replied placing a cigarette between my lip's.
"you do". I glared at him before my middle finger was saluting him.
"Babe that's not nice". Lilli whined pointing her kitchen utensil at him. " she only weigh's as much as a whale. Get it right". They both started laughing.
"fuck you both, bitches". I took a drag off my cigarette. I set my lighter on the table . I sighed before taking another drag off my cigarette.
"someone's not in a good mood". Zacky sat across from me . "you alright "?
"Uh yea, I guess. I had another dream about my mom".
"Oh. I'm sorry. Was it a bad dream"? He asked pointing to my pack of cigarette's.
"You can take one". I pushed my pack over to him.
"Yea it was".
"Well, Honeydew". I chuckled hearing Lilli. "Eat some of my fantastic pancake's and try not to think about it. You can't be sad today". She placed a plate of pancake's in front of me.
"And why is that"?
"Because, I said so". That got a laugh from both Zacky and my self.
"Yes Mommy". I said sarcastically. "And Zachery........nice hickey".
"I know right". He said proudly Waggling his eyebrow's at me.
"PUT A SHIRT ON"! Lilli shrieked.
"It's not like I haven't walked in on you to". I said laughing. Zacky had a smile plastered on his face.
"so onto another subject". I said before shoveling pancakes into my mouth.
"When does Brian's Plane land"?
"We have to be there to pick him up by 1". He held up his index finger.
"All the guys going"?
"No. thee gonna be at Matt's helping with the Barbeque shit. So it's just you 2 and my sexy self". I turned to look a Lilli who was giving Zacky the stink eye. I chuckled.
"Is he Bringing his whore"? I asked causing him to bust out in uncontrollable laughter.
"You don't like her either huh"? a smile still on his face.
"Who does. She's a bitch. Where the fuck did he find her anyway"? Lilli chimed in.
"She's one of Brian's clients. He did her first tattoo about a year ago and now she's covered......well a lot of her is now. He does a lot of them for free".
"Dude I've known him for how long and he won't give me free tattoo's".
"Sex is why". I shook my head agreeing before shoveling another fork full of pancakes into my mouth.

Zacky stood and yawned before walking over to Lilli.
"well I'm gonna go hop in the shower and start getting ready". they kissed.
"Awe. you 2 make me sick". i joked setting my fork down.
"Don't be Jealous". She snapped her finger's.
"I'm the farthest thing from jealous hun". I turned my chair around to face her.
"oh". she startled me. "before I forget. I've been wondering for a while does Brian know about your mom? He's gonna wanna see her you know".
"No he doesn't. That's how it's gonna stay until that situation present's it self. she doesn't want him to know".
"Oh. How is she doing"? She turned the burner off and set her spatula down.
"Not good". I sighed. I took a deep breath trying not to get choked up. " the cancer has spread to her lung's. she's on oxygen now. The doctor's told her she only hand a couple month's left if that".
"Oh my god". Lilli gasped. "Are you serious"?
"Yup. I wish i wasn't. There's nothing they can do. She turned down radiation, Chemo. So ..." I trailed off.
"I'm sorry". Lilli quietly wrapping her arm's around me. "I wish i knew what to say".
"I don't think anyone does. But I'm trying to focus on just seeing Brian again right now". I forced a smile trying to make it look as real as possible.
I knew it was gonna be hard to hide the fact my mom was dieing from Brian, but I would do my best. I had a feeling was gonna be a long day.