Who I Really Am

​Brian sat in his car wondering just how this was going to seem. The parking lot at the Natural History museum was virtually empty, but that was of no surprise considering it was only a little after 10 am on a Monday morning. It was more of a surprise that Brian was even up and about at that time, seeings as the band were on a short break before heading for the studio some time in the next couple of months.

However, since leaving Izzy in Amber's capable hands on Saturday night, his thoughts had been consumed by her. The desire to see her again had gripped Brian so strongly that he'd woken up early that morning knowing that he was going to have to satisfy that need within him to be near her. 

Brian had toyed with the idea of going to the house, but had quickly decided against that. So that had left the only other option, going to the museum. That way Brian figured that he could pass it off that he was in LA anyway, and just thought he'd stop by and see how she was after Saturday night. Although the longer he sat there trying to find the courage to actually go inside, he wondered if Izzy would see through the lame excuse.

The one thing that actually prevented him from just driving away was the small hope that Izzy was as attracted to him as he was her. Brian had played the words she whispered over in his head many times since hearing them, even though he was very aware that they had never been meant for his ears. He had wanted to pass them off as just drunken ramblings, but Brian knew Izzy had spoken to Amber about him, and those two small reasons were what were fuelling his need to persue this. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Brian got out of the car, locking it before heading towards the building where he could either make a breakthrough, or completely die on his ass. Walking with a new found sense of purpose, Brian headed for the huge reception desk knowing that he could do this. Leaning on the circular wooden desk, that shone as though it had been polished to within an inch of it's life, Brian cleared his throat to attract the attention of the middle aged woman sat behind it, lost in concentration at the computer. She looked up, a welcoming smile firmly in place as she saw him.

"Hi, I'm Lynn, how may I help you?" she asked warmly. 

"I was wondering if Izzy Hamilton is working today, and if it would be possible to speak with her," Brian replied, trying to remain as calm as he possibley could.

"Oh, I'm afraid Izzy's out on school visits around the area all this week. Although, I do know she was here to collect some stuff before she and Kendall left."

Brian felt deflated, and presumed that it showed by the look of sympathy he was recieving right then.

"What's your name honey? I'll just put a quick call through and see if they've left yet, chances are she may still be here."

"Er, Brian...but please don't go to any trouble on my behalf, I was just....."

Lynn waved a dismissive hand in his direction.

"Less of that, it's not every day our Izzy gets a fine looking boy like yourself turn up out the blue asking for her," she told Brian, a twinkle in her eye.

Brian attempted a smirk to hide the slight embarrassment he felt at Lynn's words. He also found himself a bizarre mix of surprised and relieved that Izzy didn't attract more attention. There was a part of him that had already figured she would be fending off male attention. Brian tried not to appear too eager to listen to the conversation Lynn was having. However, the slight look of disappointment she wore told him it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry sweetie, she and Kendall have just left, but if you're real quick, you may still catch her out in the parking lot. Did you want me to take your number and get her to call you, I can pass it on to her."

Brian shook his head.

"No, it's ok. I was just stopping by to see how she was. Thanks for your trouble though Lynn."

"Anytime sweetie, you take care now," Lynn called after him as he walked away. 

Brian searched the lot briefly as he stepped back outside, in the hope of catching a glimpse of her. Realising it was fruitless, he trudged back to his car. Leaving his number was maybe something he should've considered more carefully, but the fear of never hearing from her had stopped him. Kicking the engine into life, Brian pulled away, wondering just what the hell he was supposed to do now.

*********************************

Amber couldn't stop herself from grinning as she listened to Izzy tell her about the visitor she'd apparently missed that morning.

"So what, he just dropped by?" she asked.

"According to Lynn he said he was just stopping by to see how I was, but that he didn't leave a number when she asked if he wanted to." 

Izzy rested her elbows on the kitchen counter, her head in her hands as she let out an aggrivated sigh.

"See, this is when I regret not being more in tune with the workings of the male mind, because I really have no idea what to make of this" she admitted with a little frustration. "Ugh, I am officially bloody useless!"

"Iz, believe me honey, guys are a strange breed. You could have all the experience in the world when it comes to dating, but it will never fully prepare you for just what actually goes on inside their heads," Amber reassured her.

"That's really not what I wanted to hear Ambs, I was secretly hoping that you, my font of all knowledge when it comes to anything with a penis, would actually be able to help me out here!"

Amber laughed lightly, reaching across the counter and patting Izzy's arm.

"You want my take on the situation?" she asked.

"Please!" Izzy replied, a tone of desperation to her voice.

"Ok, well to me, I'd say our boy Brian likes you, and that the line about him just being there to see how you were was quite clearly a cover. He's obviously trying to play it cool, not wanting too appear to eager, and that's why he didn't leave a number or a message. But I don't think that'll be the last you hear of him, just call it a feeling I get."

Izzy sighed one more. This was a whole new ballgame to her, and she knew she was just going to have to trust whatever Amber said. Izzy really didn't have much to go by when it came to men, which she was ready to admit was her own fault. And now she was aware more than ever that had been a huge mistake on her part, because if ever there was a time she wished she could fathom out what to do, now was it. 

"Oh, and I have a little confession to make," Amber began a little sheepishly "I did a little googling today....and our first assumptions were correct."

Izzy just stared at her friend. This put a whole new spin on the situation, now raising the question why someone like him would even be remotely interested in someone like her.