I gripped onto Jimmy’s arm tighter; there was no way in hell Riley was standing in Jimmy’s doorway right now - I was dreaming, dreaming this amazing dream.

“Someone pinch me.” I murmured as I felt Jimmy’s arm snake around my waist to hold me up. I felt dizzy, lightheaded even, y’know, those crazy symptoms you get when you just can’t believe what you were seeing. Yeah, I was having one of those moments, sue me.

“May I come in?” Riley asked, I closed my eyes and nodded, his voice had gotten a hell of lot deeper, and he was about Jimmy’s height. Jimmy stepped aside and allowed him in; I sighed and bit down on my lip.

Today was going to be a long and eventful day…


“Dear lord Evan, seven years and you’ve changed a lot.” Riley said. I just shrugged in reply. “For the better.” He added quickly as I nodded.

I had asked Jimmy to leave the room, so my brother and I could talk without him overhearing. “So, what brought you here?” I asked.

“Evan, our mom needs you.” Riley muttered, frowning now.

“What for?” I asked. Whatever was wrong with our mother, a hit of coke could fix it.

“Uhm… Evan, she has advanced HIV.”

My eyelids flew open and I sat up, “ What?!” I asked, my eyes searching his face for some kind of joke, some sign he was playing, y’know? Tom Foolery.

“You’ve got to be shitting me !” I said, standing up; almost immediately I began to chew on my thumbnail and pace.

“I wish I was.” Riley said, standing up. He grabbed me by my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye; his eyes were now a solid green, not a hint of grey in them. “I’m sorry I had to tell you Evan.” He whispered.

“And where the hell have you been?!” I asked, pushing him away. “Really Riley? You left when I was sixteen, six-fucking teen! And now, seven years later, you’re back! No, Riles! It doesn’t work that way!” I began to yell, I grabbed at my hair, not trying to pull it out, but I did tug on it.

I sat back down, burying my head into my hands. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to pretend this was a dream, and I could just wake up any minute. The surprise had turned into fury, fury for leaving me behind.

“Evan…” Riley said, touching my arm.

I jerked away, “Don’t touch me.” I spat. Riley drew back. His eyes were fully grey now, and I felt a hot tear roll down my cheek.

“I’m so sorry Evan.” Riley whispered.

“Well, sorry isn’t going to fucking cut it!” I yelled, jumping up and I began to run, I wanted to run back to Jimmy’s bed and never get up, all the way with hot tears spilling from the evil things we call eyes.


“I’m sorry, I just can’t let you do that.” I heard a soft voice say. It felt like my eyelids had been glued together, and I had drool stuck to the side of my mouth. I looked across the room and saw it was dark outside. I didn’t even bother to look at the clock on the bedside table, I knew it was late.

The memories of earlier came crashing down like a wave, I sighed and began to rub my temples, why was Riley back? Seven years. Seven years of me not knowing if he were dead or alive. And he just shows up like it was yesterday.

“Why can I not? After all, I am her brother.” I heard Riley say, it took me a minute to realize he and Jimmy were talking outside of the bedroom.

“Yeah, you may be her brother, doesn’t mean she has to go with you; from what she’s told me, you pretty much shitted her.” Jimmy said a small smile crossed my face.

“Yeah, I fucked up, seven years ago, why can’t anyone forgive and forget?” I heard Riley say. I saw the flick of a lighter and I closed my eyes, feeling the nausea overtake me, I inhaled deeply and shook my head. I needed to push those memories out.

“It’s not me that should forgive you, that’s Evan. And frankly, you’ve upset her enough, now if you want to stay here the night, that’s perfectly fine. But, do not; I repeat, do not upset her like you did today, because believe me. You will regret it.” Jimmy said I didn’t hear anything from Riley, which meant he was probably in shock. No one talked to him like before, not until tonight.

I heard Riley walk down the hall and into another room, I heard Jimmy sigh. Why was I even here? Oh yeah, so I could escape from being Kale’s whore and prostitute. But Riley seemed to be trying to drag me back into that lifestyle I had tried so hard to get away from.

I sighed and bit on the inside of my cheek.

I heard Jimmy’s footfalls approaching the bedroom. I jumped back under the covers and did my best to look like I was sleeping.

He seemed to take the bait, because it wasn’t long before I felt his arm across my waist protectively. I turned over and snuggled up to him.

This was heaven, even in the fiery pits of hell. Heaven always seemed to shine a little hope down