Abbey's Road
that awful day
One Week Earlier
The sunlight filtering through the slanted blinds is what drew Abbey Ketterling from her peaceful sleep. Her gray eyes opened and snuck a peek at the train carriage before she closed them again and stretched her arms tall above her head. The sky outside was still light pink, making Abbey assume it was early morning, and upon checking her phone, her assumption was confirmed. She smiled. Only two more hours before she reached her destination of Las Vegas, Nevada.
Abbey was a bit behind on her journey, because emptying her bank accounts had proven to be a bit more bothersome than she'd originally planned. But the hardest part of all had been saying goodbye to Zacky. Or rather, writing the goodbye note. She was too much of a coward to say goodbye to his face. Abbey knew when she left that night that she was turning Zacky's world on its side, but this was for the best. A gradual goodbye would be far easier for her beloved than a sudden termination that would leave him scrambling for his emotions and answers that could never be found.
Abbey nodded off again without meaning to. When she woke up the second time, people were starting to exit the train. Abbey stretched her arms again and got to her feet, grabbing her bag before joining the flow of people as they trickled off of the train. The heat hit her like a tidal wave when she stepped off the train. She hadn't been expecting it to be quite so hot, because Las Vegas wasn't that far from Huntington Beach, and it wasn't nearly this hot in Huntington.
It must be the desert air, she mused. But I'll get used to it. I am from Georgia, after all.
With her bag in hand, Abbey started off into the crisp October day. She didn't really have a particular destination in mind, just a hotel and a casino. She remembered playing a lot of poker with her dad and brothers, and she was pretty good. By the time she was sixteen, she was easily beating the boys.
"Time to go smoke 'em," she whispered to herself.
♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪
Abbey turned the phone over in her hands. She wanted to call Zacky so badly. She wanted to hear his voice. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that to him. She had to let him go. Sighing, Abbey sat her phone on the nightstand and flopped back on the bed in her hotel room. She reached into her pocket and produced a picture, one of her and Zacky.
"I wish I could be with you, Zacky," Abbey whispered, stroking the photograph. She smiled softly to herself. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep without your strong arms around me."
It was hard to imagine her life without Zacky, but thankfully Abbey wouldn't have to suffer much longer. It was that one awful day, that one man, that had changed everything and turned Abbey's world upside down.
Abbey tapped her foot nervously as she waited in the small white waiting room. Pacific Coast Hospital had never been one of her favorite places; the last time Abbey was here she watched her baby sister die.
"Abbey Ketterling?" a nurse called. Abbey rose at the sound of her name and followed the nurse into the back of the clinic area. She took the usual readings -- height, weight, etc. She asked Abbey the same questions the doctor would ask her later, wrote the answers on her clipboard, and then excused herself.
Abbey had only been alone for two minutes or so when her phone rang. Seeing that it was Zacky calling, Abbey smiled softly and answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Abbey baby, where are you?" Zacky fretted. "When I got back from the studio, you were gone."
"I'm out with Sue Ellen," Abbey lied, spouting off the name of one of her sister-in-laws. She knew Zacky would believe this. He believed everything Abbey said, because she seemed so innocent. "I'll be back in an hour, Zacky. I promise."
"Alright. Well I'll be waiting for you, 'k?" Zacky paused, and before he even breathed again, Abbey knew what he was gonna say. "I love you."
The words were so familiar, but every time Zacky said them it made Abbey feel like she was sixteen again and Zacky was saying them to her for the first time. "I love you too, Zacky," Abbey whispered, and she hung up her phone as the door swung open and the doctor stepped into the room.
Abbey closed her eyes. She didn't want to remember any more of that awful day. She just wanted things to be back to the way they were before that awful day. She wanted to get married to Zacky and have his children. "Why did things have to happen like this?" Abbey mused to the silent room. Abbey knew she wouldn't get an answer, but she couldn't stop the questions from coming.
♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪
Present day
"Flush," Abbey stated with a grin, laying down her cards. She knew by the expressions on her fellow players' faces that she'd won, and this was confirmed when they all slapped down their cards and grumbled at her to collect the chips.
"That's the fourth hand in a row you've won," the one to her left observed. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What's your secret?"
"Lots and lots of practice," Abbey replied, returning the man's grin. She'd had a few alcoholic drinks already that night, so she barely registered the suggestive glint in the man's muddy brown eyes. "Who's up for another hand?"
Two of the men left, saying they'd lost enough money already to the southern belle. The rest put in their ante as the dealer shuffled the deck. As she absentmindedly played with her chips, Abbey's phone vibrated in her pocket. She almost expected it to be Zacky, because he'd been calling her like crazy since she left a little over a week ago. But she just couldn't bring herself to talk to him. She would answer the phone and let herself hear Zacky's voice before she hung up the phone and cried. Thankfully this was Jimmy, and Abbey knew she could trust him not to tell Zacky they were in contact.
"Hey Jims," Abbey chirped, leaning on the poker table. "To what do I owe this random call?"
"You're not gonna like this," Jimmy replied, and the tone of his voice told Abbey he wasn't kidding. Jimmy was the wildest of their close-knit group, but he had his serious moments. "Zacky found your list and he's coming after you, Abbey."
Abbey sighed. She knew it would only take Zacky a matter of time before he remembered that damn list. She just wished he would've taken a little more time. She wasn't ready to move on the next bullet point yet. "He won't find me, Jimmy," Abbey said to her friend. "Trust me. I know how this is gonna end."
"Abbey, can I ask you something?" Jimmy asked suddenly after a few minutes. Abbey said yes and she was surprised by the bluntness of his next question. "Why did you leave him? What did he do?"
"I didn't leave him, Jimmy," Abbey said. She knew this was gonna be hard to explain, because in their eyes, that's exactly what she'd done. "I left myself."
"He's a mess because of you, you know," Jimmy stated. "He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, and actually fucking cried at Johnny's Bar the other night. You fucked him up severely, Abbey Ketterling."
Abbey sighed angrily and hung up on Jimmy before slamming her phone down onto the poker table. Didn't he think she knew she'd fucked Zacky up? Of course she knew! But staying behind and letting him witness her withering away would've fucked him up even worse, because it would've been stretched out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. At least this way, it was over quickly. Zacky wouldn't have to suffer quite as long.
"Something wrong, little lady?" the man to Abbey's left asked.
Abbey shook her head and stood up from the table. "It's nothing," she drawled, hiding her lit under her southern accent. She snatched her chips up and shoved them into the bag given out by the casino. "I'm just gonna cash my chips and head on up to my room. I'm tired." With that, Abbey left with her jingling bag of poker chips. In the end, they totaled three hundred and sixty seven dollar. But Abbey needed the money if she was gonna reach her final destination.
When Abbey reached her hotel room, a pair of unfamiliar hands stopped her as she tried to slide her room card. She let out a string of cuss words as she spun around, and standing just behind her was the man from the casino. "Can I help you with something?" Abbey drawled, trying to slow her heavy breathing.
"As a matter of fact, you can," the man replied. Abbey didn't like how she had to keep calling him 'the man.' She liked to know people's names. "You can let me keep you company in your room tonight."
Abbey knew what the man meant by that, and she shook her head no as she shoved him away. "I have a boyfriend," Abbey said. This wasn't a lie. Zacky technically was still her boyfriend. "Go away now, please."
"Come on, sweetheart," the man cooed, pressing Abbey against the door. "I don't see anybody around here, so you might as well have a little fun with me."
"I said no!" Abbey hollered. With expert precision, she brought her knee into the man's groin and scampered into her room as he fell to his knees, clutching his crotch and groaning in pain. Abbey could hear the man cursing her on the other side of the door, calling her a bitch and a tease, but she ignored him. She hadn't done anything to warrant his unwanted attention.
Abbey remained in front of her door until she was she the man was gone, and the she trudged over to her bed. Almost by instinct, she withdrew her picture of Zacky and studied. Every time she looked at it, a new memory surfaced.
"Why does your name have an 'E' in it?" a six year old Zacky asked as Abbey finished carving her name into the trunk of a tree. "It looks weird."
Abbey turned the best glare a seven year old could on Zacky, and the boy fell silent. Abbey liked the way her name was spelled. "Because my mama loved the Beatles," she said. "So when her and my daddy were real young they went to London, and they stayed in a hotel on Abbey Road, which is where the Beatles shot the cover of their album Abbey Road. Mama said they conceived me there."
"What's conceived mean?" Zacky asked curiously.
Abbey shrugged her small shoulders. "My mama told me it means they made me in her tummy," Abbey answered. It was such a child-like answer, but Abbey and Zacky didn't know that. "Anyway, after my mama found out I was in her tummy, my daddy said they had to think of a real special name for me. So after they found out I was a girl, they decided to name me Abbey, but with an 'E' in it."
"Oh," was all Zacky said. "Well I like it. It's...different."
Abbey smiled at Zacky, showing off her lopsided smile and her missing tooth. Zacky didn't know then, but years in the future he would be able to spend hours just watching Abbey smile that lopsided smile. "I like you, Zacky," Abbey stated bluntly. "I think we're gonna be good friends."
"Me too," Zacky agreed, returning her smile.
Abbey couldn't stop the tears that were falling down her cheeks as she thought about Zacky. It was times like these that she wished more than ever that that awful day had never happened and she was still in her bed in California with Zacky. She hadn't wanted to leave, but leaving was for the best. It was better for Zacky this way, at least in the long run. This way, he'd have time to get used to saying goodbye.
Tomorrow, Abbey would have to leave Vegas, but instead of heading west back towards Huntington Beach, she'd head east to her next destination. She knew Zacky would be in Las Vegas in a few days, following that absurd list, and she couldn't be here when he did. She had to be one step ahead of him the whole time until they finally met up again at the end of the road.
The sunlight filtering through the slanted blinds is what drew Abbey Ketterling from her peaceful sleep. Her gray eyes opened and snuck a peek at the train carriage before she closed them again and stretched her arms tall above her head. The sky outside was still light pink, making Abbey assume it was early morning, and upon checking her phone, her assumption was confirmed. She smiled. Only two more hours before she reached her destination of Las Vegas, Nevada.
Abbey was a bit behind on her journey, because emptying her bank accounts had proven to be a bit more bothersome than she'd originally planned. But the hardest part of all had been saying goodbye to Zacky. Or rather, writing the goodbye note. She was too much of a coward to say goodbye to his face. Abbey knew when she left that night that she was turning Zacky's world on its side, but this was for the best. A gradual goodbye would be far easier for her beloved than a sudden termination that would leave him scrambling for his emotions and answers that could never be found.
Abbey nodded off again without meaning to. When she woke up the second time, people were starting to exit the train. Abbey stretched her arms again and got to her feet, grabbing her bag before joining the flow of people as they trickled off of the train. The heat hit her like a tidal wave when she stepped off the train. She hadn't been expecting it to be quite so hot, because Las Vegas wasn't that far from Huntington Beach, and it wasn't nearly this hot in Huntington.
It must be the desert air, she mused. But I'll get used to it. I am from Georgia, after all.
With her bag in hand, Abbey started off into the crisp October day. She didn't really have a particular destination in mind, just a hotel and a casino. She remembered playing a lot of poker with her dad and brothers, and she was pretty good. By the time she was sixteen, she was easily beating the boys.
"Time to go smoke 'em," she whispered to herself.
♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪
Abbey turned the phone over in her hands. She wanted to call Zacky so badly. She wanted to hear his voice. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that to him. She had to let him go. Sighing, Abbey sat her phone on the nightstand and flopped back on the bed in her hotel room. She reached into her pocket and produced a picture, one of her and Zacky.
"I wish I could be with you, Zacky," Abbey whispered, stroking the photograph. She smiled softly to herself. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep without your strong arms around me."
It was hard to imagine her life without Zacky, but thankfully Abbey wouldn't have to suffer much longer. It was that one awful day, that one man, that had changed everything and turned Abbey's world upside down.
Abbey tapped her foot nervously as she waited in the small white waiting room. Pacific Coast Hospital had never been one of her favorite places; the last time Abbey was here she watched her baby sister die.
"Abbey Ketterling?" a nurse called. Abbey rose at the sound of her name and followed the nurse into the back of the clinic area. She took the usual readings -- height, weight, etc. She asked Abbey the same questions the doctor would ask her later, wrote the answers on her clipboard, and then excused herself.
Abbey had only been alone for two minutes or so when her phone rang. Seeing that it was Zacky calling, Abbey smiled softly and answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Abbey baby, where are you?" Zacky fretted. "When I got back from the studio, you were gone."
"I'm out with Sue Ellen," Abbey lied, spouting off the name of one of her sister-in-laws. She knew Zacky would believe this. He believed everything Abbey said, because she seemed so innocent. "I'll be back in an hour, Zacky. I promise."
"Alright. Well I'll be waiting for you, 'k?" Zacky paused, and before he even breathed again, Abbey knew what he was gonna say. "I love you."
The words were so familiar, but every time Zacky said them it made Abbey feel like she was sixteen again and Zacky was saying them to her for the first time. "I love you too, Zacky," Abbey whispered, and she hung up her phone as the door swung open and the doctor stepped into the room.
Abbey closed her eyes. She didn't want to remember any more of that awful day. She just wanted things to be back to the way they were before that awful day. She wanted to get married to Zacky and have his children. "Why did things have to happen like this?" Abbey mused to the silent room. Abbey knew she wouldn't get an answer, but she couldn't stop the questions from coming.
♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪
Present day
"Flush," Abbey stated with a grin, laying down her cards. She knew by the expressions on her fellow players' faces that she'd won, and this was confirmed when they all slapped down their cards and grumbled at her to collect the chips.
"That's the fourth hand in a row you've won," the one to her left observed. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What's your secret?"
"Lots and lots of practice," Abbey replied, returning the man's grin. She'd had a few alcoholic drinks already that night, so she barely registered the suggestive glint in the man's muddy brown eyes. "Who's up for another hand?"
Two of the men left, saying they'd lost enough money already to the southern belle. The rest put in their ante as the dealer shuffled the deck. As she absentmindedly played with her chips, Abbey's phone vibrated in her pocket. She almost expected it to be Zacky, because he'd been calling her like crazy since she left a little over a week ago. But she just couldn't bring herself to talk to him. She would answer the phone and let herself hear Zacky's voice before she hung up the phone and cried. Thankfully this was Jimmy, and Abbey knew she could trust him not to tell Zacky they were in contact.
"Hey Jims," Abbey chirped, leaning on the poker table. "To what do I owe this random call?"
"You're not gonna like this," Jimmy replied, and the tone of his voice told Abbey he wasn't kidding. Jimmy was the wildest of their close-knit group, but he had his serious moments. "Zacky found your list and he's coming after you, Abbey."
Abbey sighed. She knew it would only take Zacky a matter of time before he remembered that damn list. She just wished he would've taken a little more time. She wasn't ready to move on the next bullet point yet. "He won't find me, Jimmy," Abbey said to her friend. "Trust me. I know how this is gonna end."
"Abbey, can I ask you something?" Jimmy asked suddenly after a few minutes. Abbey said yes and she was surprised by the bluntness of his next question. "Why did you leave him? What did he do?"
"I didn't leave him, Jimmy," Abbey said. She knew this was gonna be hard to explain, because in their eyes, that's exactly what she'd done. "I left myself."
"He's a mess because of you, you know," Jimmy stated. "He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, and actually fucking cried at Johnny's Bar the other night. You fucked him up severely, Abbey Ketterling."
Abbey sighed angrily and hung up on Jimmy before slamming her phone down onto the poker table. Didn't he think she knew she'd fucked Zacky up? Of course she knew! But staying behind and letting him witness her withering away would've fucked him up even worse, because it would've been stretched out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. At least this way, it was over quickly. Zacky wouldn't have to suffer quite as long.
"Something wrong, little lady?" the man to Abbey's left asked.
Abbey shook her head and stood up from the table. "It's nothing," she drawled, hiding her lit under her southern accent. She snatched her chips up and shoved them into the bag given out by the casino. "I'm just gonna cash my chips and head on up to my room. I'm tired." With that, Abbey left with her jingling bag of poker chips. In the end, they totaled three hundred and sixty seven dollar. But Abbey needed the money if she was gonna reach her final destination.
When Abbey reached her hotel room, a pair of unfamiliar hands stopped her as she tried to slide her room card. She let out a string of cuss words as she spun around, and standing just behind her was the man from the casino. "Can I help you with something?" Abbey drawled, trying to slow her heavy breathing.
"As a matter of fact, you can," the man replied. Abbey didn't like how she had to keep calling him 'the man.' She liked to know people's names. "You can let me keep you company in your room tonight."
Abbey knew what the man meant by that, and she shook her head no as she shoved him away. "I have a boyfriend," Abbey said. This wasn't a lie. Zacky technically was still her boyfriend. "Go away now, please."
"Come on, sweetheart," the man cooed, pressing Abbey against the door. "I don't see anybody around here, so you might as well have a little fun with me."
"I said no!" Abbey hollered. With expert precision, she brought her knee into the man's groin and scampered into her room as he fell to his knees, clutching his crotch and groaning in pain. Abbey could hear the man cursing her on the other side of the door, calling her a bitch and a tease, but she ignored him. She hadn't done anything to warrant his unwanted attention.
Abbey remained in front of her door until she was she the man was gone, and the she trudged over to her bed. Almost by instinct, she withdrew her picture of Zacky and studied. Every time she looked at it, a new memory surfaced.
"Why does your name have an 'E' in it?" a six year old Zacky asked as Abbey finished carving her name into the trunk of a tree. "It looks weird."
Abbey turned the best glare a seven year old could on Zacky, and the boy fell silent. Abbey liked the way her name was spelled. "Because my mama loved the Beatles," she said. "So when her and my daddy were real young they went to London, and they stayed in a hotel on Abbey Road, which is where the Beatles shot the cover of their album Abbey Road. Mama said they conceived me there."
"What's conceived mean?" Zacky asked curiously.
Abbey shrugged her small shoulders. "My mama told me it means they made me in her tummy," Abbey answered. It was such a child-like answer, but Abbey and Zacky didn't know that. "Anyway, after my mama found out I was in her tummy, my daddy said they had to think of a real special name for me. So after they found out I was a girl, they decided to name me Abbey, but with an 'E' in it."
"Oh," was all Zacky said. "Well I like it. It's...different."
Abbey smiled at Zacky, showing off her lopsided smile and her missing tooth. Zacky didn't know then, but years in the future he would be able to spend hours just watching Abbey smile that lopsided smile. "I like you, Zacky," Abbey stated bluntly. "I think we're gonna be good friends."
"Me too," Zacky agreed, returning her smile.
Abbey couldn't stop the tears that were falling down her cheeks as she thought about Zacky. It was times like these that she wished more than ever that that awful day had never happened and she was still in her bed in California with Zacky. She hadn't wanted to leave, but leaving was for the best. It was better for Zacky this way, at least in the long run. This way, he'd have time to get used to saying goodbye.
Tomorrow, Abbey would have to leave Vegas, but instead of heading west back towards Huntington Beach, she'd head east to her next destination. She knew Zacky would be in Las Vegas in a few days, following that absurd list, and she couldn't be here when he did. She had to be one step ahead of him the whole time until they finally met up again at the end of the road.
5/5/13